Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you svirelka for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know
Chapter III

2 October

I can't believe I'm doing this. It's killing me, eating me from inside.
I've always known that I'm an evil git, many people tell me so, but this almost takes the price. I can't stop picking at you, tormenting you, killing you. Well, not really ending your life physically. No, I'm killing you psychically.

How do I know that? Well, that's easy. I'm observing you, always. Every time I make some unnecessesary remark on your life I can see a part of you die. Every time I make some stupid comment about your dead parents I can see some of the light in your eyes fade away. And as your eyes are fading, I can feel some of my own light disappearing with it.
Due to this, a new feeling has made its way into my cold heart – guilt.

I couldn't understand that new feeling at first.

I couldn't understand that stab in my heart every time you looked at me with your wet eyes, silently begging me to stop killing you. But I couldn't. Why? Because I was hurt. A Malfoy, hurt? Yeah right, and Longbottom got an O in Potions.

I abandoned every Malfoy rule for you that day on the train, the day that changed my life.
And what was my reward? You refused to look at me, you still do.

Well, you look at me as I insult you, but the pain in your eyes makes me wonder if it's really worth it.

So it was about then when I realized that the new feeling in my heart was indeed guilt. Still I couldn't stop killing you because every time I saw you, hurt would flare up in my chest, and since a Malfoy isn't supposed to feel hurt, I was ´forced´ to punish you.
But Merlin, it was killing me. It still is.

Then something happened.

One late Tuesday night I was strolling along the corridors of Hogwarts, not really caring in which direction my feet were taking me.

Only one thing on my mind, No, scratch that.
Only one person on my mind. Guess who?

So when I was mentally beating myself up for doing so, it didn't occur to me that I was heading towards the Astronomy Tower, at least not until I was standing under the hatch. I was taken aback: I didn't realize that I had wandered off so far.

But instead of going back to the dungeons, I carefully, in order to not make any sound, pushed the hatch open.

The chilly air hit me like an ice bucket and I gave an involuntary shudder as I climbed up onto the roof.

I had forgotten how breathtaking the view was and was stunned by its beauty. Quietly, as if any sound would disturb the peace, I walked over to the edge.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as a chilling wind was gently caressing my face, and slowly exhaled when it substituted.

A small sound disturbed my inner peace and irritated I turned around. The sight that greeted me made my heart skip a beat: at the other side of the tower, dangerously close to the edge, you were standing.


Fear gripped my heart as I saw you swaying lightly in the wind, and I had to fight the urge to run over and drag you away from the edge, drag you away from the danger.

I didn't dare to speak either, since you would probably be caught by surprise and might fall off the roof.

Panic spread through my body as I was frantically trying to think of a way to get you away from the edge.

"It's beautiful, don't you think?" you asked quietly, your eyes never leaving the sky.

Caught by surprise, I only managed a soft "Yeah".
Carefully I took a tender step towards you: "Why are you here, Harry?"

With a forced laugh you answered: "What happened to Potter?"

I guess I deserved that after all I had done to you, but still, I thought something had changed… I guess not.
"I could go back calling you Potter if you like," I answered, dreading your response.

"Yes, please do so".

Your response hit me like a fist, knocking the air out of me.

I know I shouldn't ask, but I couldn't help it: "Why?"

"Because it's less personal." I didn't know what to say, so I simply repeated my earlier question: "Why are you here Ha-Potter?"

You smiled sadly. "Waiting," you said quietly.

"For what?"

"The sunrise," you answered this time with a genuine smile on your lips.

"The sun won't come up for another couple of hours," I stated.

"I know," was your simple answer.

I took a few steps forward and sat down beside you, legs hanging over the edge.
"Why do you want to look at the sunrise?" I asked looking up at you.

"I won't tell you that," you answered, your eyes still not leaving the sky.

"Why not?"

"It's too personal". A small frown graced your face and told me not to pry. I didn't.

We sat there; well, I sat, side by side. I think I fell asleep a couple of times but I'm not really sure. I don't know why I didn't return to my dorm, I just knew that I couldn't leave you.

When the first sunrays could be seen at the east my eyes were so heavy that I could barely keep them open.

You, on the other hand, never even sat down. No, you stood there beside me looking at the sky with a content little smile on your lips.

When the first sunrays reached your face my heart stopped beating, or maybe it started beating, anyway I was deeply affected.

You had your eyes closed; face totally relaxed and drawing deep breaths through your mouth. Your cheeks were slightly pink from the chilly wind and your raven locks were a mess. Beautiful.

But as soon as the sun had 'left' the ground you turned around, walked over to the hatch and with one graceful motion opened it and climbed down, closing it with a soft 'thud'.

Leaving me alone, with the still rising sun as my only company.

DM

TBC

A/N: So… What do you think? This is the longest chapter I've ever written (and it's not that long!)
I' m thinking about maybe writing from Harry's POV, but I'm not really sure, could it work or should I continue to write from Draco's?
Please review