From Ashes
Chapter Eight: Their Sacrifice


The remainder of the day was spent with Udina, to their great displeasure, and Shepard was asked to explain the exact circumtancess of Kaidan Alenko's death. Though it had been hit over in the meeting with the council, Udina and the Alliance brass wanted the details. Unfortunately, the more Shepard talked about it, the worse she felt. It was clear that Ashley was feeling the heat as well. Others were, but they attempted not to show it. One person that was in the ambassador's office was Rear Admiral Mikhailovich. He had heard of the council meeting from Udina and was waiting when they got back from the tower. It was he who was posing the questions now.

"What were the circumstances under which you left Alenko with the nuclear device, Commander?"

"As I said Admiral," Shepard repeated. "We had just cleared the facility and were waiting for the final preparations for the salarians' drive core. Chief Williams radioed that they were overpowered at the AA tower."

"And so you just left him there?"

"It was my call, yes." Shepard ground out. "He was still preparing the device, and we had time. I headed for the AA tower when she radioed again to let Kaidan know that a geth dropship was headed his way."

"What then?"

"I had a decision to make." Shepard said coldly. "It was either double back and pull him out or head on to the AA tower and provide support for the salarians and Ashley. Either way, I was going to lose someone."

"He was a senior officer-"

"Wit all due respect, Admiral, I am well aware of that." Shepard snapped. This had Mikhailovich and Udina looking a bit put off, but Anderson still seemed calm. "I had no choice but to leave one of them behind. After considering both of their opinions on the situation, I chose to advance toward the AA tower and get as many out as possible. Kaidan had already had his guard, Wrex and Tali, sent back to the ship so that they could bug out-"

"So what you're saying is that he knew the outcome and just took it."

"No sir, that's not what I'm saying." Shepard had to keep her temper in check as she looked over the older man's stern expression. "Kaidan gave his life so that others might live. That is the greatest sacrifice anyone could have ever made, and I doubt he would appreciate it being picked apart by the brass, who are looking for any fault in the situation." She had fully intended to keep that last to herself, but it had come out without warning. Keeping her eyes on the admiral, Shepard went on. "I'll appreciate it if you and everyone else would leave that as it is. This was not a decision based on what would look good to the galactic community. I didn't see just how many races I could save. I didn't put humanity first, either."

"As I said before," Mikhailovich frowned as he clasped his hands behind his back again. "Still remember what color your blood is, Commander?"

"I'm beginning to think it might be easier if it weren't red." Shepard retorted. It wasn't like her to disrespect the Alliance brass, but this was bringing out her "bad" side. "Permission to speak frankly, Admiral?"

"Haven't needed an invitation so far."

"Throughout this entire mission, I've been asked to look out for humanity first." Shepard said as she rose from the chair she had been sitting in. Moving away from them, she stood on the balcony looking over the embassies' entrance. "I have been asked to look into strictly human isues like the base on Luna, Major Kyle, an espionage probe that was shot down, biotic extremists that kidnapped Chairman Burns, and the list doesn't stop there." Rounding again to face the ones still in Udina's office, she crossed her arms. "Yes, I am the first human spectre, but I don't appreciate the distractions from my assignment. There are others in the Alliance that could have done some of this work. Saren is still out there planning an invasion that could wipe the entire galaxy out." Turning to the ambassador finally, she continued. "And just to clarify, I am not simply doing this to stop him from attacking human colonies. Eden Prime was hit because of the beacon. It wasn't targeted because it was the oldest human colony. Like I've said before, I appreciate the concerns that have been posed. I was willing to go off course and straighten out issues that the Alliance has encountered, and I won't openly refuse them in the future. Put short, I have a job to do. I can't put humanity first to do it." In the silence that followed, Shepard went back to a previous topic. "Yes, Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko died on Virmire, and I will have to live with that decision, but there was no agenda coloring my decision."

"Are you finished?" The admiral's expression was hard to read, but there was indignation and frustration mixed within it.

"I am." Shepard nodded slowly. "I won't discuss this any longer. I believe I have answered all of your questions."

"For now." Mikhailovich ended his omni tool's recording process and deactivated it. Since he had started questioning her, he had been recording on record, and she had been well aware of it. "The family will want answers, and you'd best be ready when they call."

"I will be, Sir." She kept her professionalism in mind, and when he was leaving, she saluted him. He eventually did the same before heading out the door. This left the office in silence again. Wrex, Tali, Garrus, Ashley, and Liara were lost in their own thoughts or waiting for someone to cut the tension with a proverbial knife.

"That wasn't the wisest move, Shepard." Udina broke the silence first as he leaned back against his desk to look at the spectre with narrowed eyes. "You are already fighting a battle with the council. You don't need to wage one with an admiral."

"I can't call it a battle, Ambassador." Shepard looked out over the embassy entrance rather than at Udina. "Not when it is the truth. In regard to the council, I'm not fighting against them."

"Be careful with him, Shepard." Anderson warned. "I'm sure he has already reminded you that the Normandy was supposed to go to his floatilla before you were assigned its CO for this mission against Saren."

"He reminded us alright; right after he critiqued the ship and insulted the crew." Ashley quipped. Shepard nodded at the chief's comment.

"I don't agree with his assessment that the ship was not built correctly and that my crew was incapable of performing as I need them to." Having finally turned back to the interior of the office, Shepard shook her head in a dismissive gesture. "I know you all have my back and are dedicated; that's all the reassurance I need. Ash, how are our supplies for the upcoming trip to Feros?"

"We're good on most. I'd say we need to restock on medical supples. I think we all took a hit after Virmire." She had been right. Though no one had been critically injured, there were plenty of scrapes and bruises. The salarians had it worse.

"Garrus, munitions?"

"Already on it, Shepard." The turian answered promptly. "As soon as we landed."

"Excellent." Deciding to get a head start on prepping for Feros, Shepard headed for the door that would lead out of the office and embassies. Udina's words caught her as she crossed the threshold with her crew in tow.

"Officers here are going to hold a memorial of sorts for Lieutenant Alenko soon."

"It seems the galaxy's loss is on many minds." Liara said as they all headed for the embassy lobby. "There is one of sorts for Benezia as well."

"When is that?" Ash asked while she looked over a few weapons they could trade their gear for.

"Sometime tomorrow, I believe." Liara answered. Checking her omni tool to be sure of the time, she nodded. "Yes; around midday tomorrow."

"Rest up, people. Looks like we have a busy day tomorrow." Shepard said as she stopped just past the Avina terminal. "Memorials, possibly more questions, prepping for Feros…"

"At least prepping for a run on that colony will be the easier of the three." Wrex commented.

"Unfortunately, you're right." Ash nodded while a few skycars were hailed. "Timetable, Skipper?"

"Well, seeing as we've still got things to do here, we can spend the day here tomorrow and leave around…" Shepard checked the time. "09:00 the following morning. Sound alright?"

"Should be good to go by then." Garrus nodded along with the others. "Got some munitions coming in late tomorrow night, so we'll have time for that delivery as well."

"Good."

With that, all went their separate ways. Some headed for the wards, while others went back to the ship to spend their downtime.. Shepard went for the latter. With everything going on, she had not had any luck with sleeping peacefully. Dreams containing images of fire and destruction had kept her on edge. Ashley had gone with Garrus to a shooting range to work off some steam while Wrex had vanished within the wards' expanse. Tali had come back to the ship to run some ideas she had for the drive core by Lieutenant Greg Adams. Liara had come back, but Shepard doubted she was sleeping. The asari had been combing through what files she had of her mother's, or what she had access to, and was finding out anything she could about Sovereign, Saren, or the other reapers.

Clearing decontamination, Shepard nodded to Joker and headed for the stairs. As she passed Pressly, he saluted, and she returned the gesture. He did surprise her however, with his request.

"Permission to speak frankly, Commander?"

"Always, Pressly. You know there's no need to ask." Stopping by the galaxy map interface, Shepard leaned against a console while the XO faced her. "You know I value your opinion and am always open to it."

"If I may say, Ma'am, you look like you went a few rounds with the political iron curtain and lost."

"I feel it. Going to catch a little rack while I have the time."

"Understood. I'll keep things smooth up here."

"Carry on, Pressly." Turning on her heel, Shepard continued through the doorway and down the stairs to the crew deck. From there, she made a left turn and entered her cabin where she promptly emptied her pockets, set her omni tool to sleep mode, and dropped back onto the stiff but not uncomfortable bed. Closing her eyes, the hum of the ship's systems was just enough to lull her to sleep as it always was, but for how long, she didn't know.

The sun, a blinding yellow light, pierced her mind's eye; or was it? A golden sun hung over a blood red sky, but shadows formed over it until it was eclipsed by them; an ominous halo of the sun, and there she was. Shepard stood, or rather floated, in the endless void looking at this sight. There was nothing else around but still blackness, but a humming entered her ears. Spinning around to face the source, she was met with blackness, but still the hmming persisted. It was familiar but also alien. She had heard it faintly somewhere before, but had no idea where. Turning back, something had changed; the shadows had solidified to form dark planet that still eclipsed its sun, but a figure was growing larger. Metalic claw-like arms stretched down from above, and the shadows faded to reveal an angry ship. Shepard watched as the massive thing loomed out of the darkness and was outlined in a deep crimson behind this planet; humming, though not coming from it, grew louder and louder until she was pulled away from the eclipsed sun sharply; dragged backwards out of its light until there was blackness surrounding her save for a bright blue in the distance. Interrupted by slight breaks, the light kept getting brighter and brighter until she couldn't stand to look at it anymore. Chancing one last glance, she realized what it was; a relay, but how…

Thrown hard suddenly in a triumphant whiplash, Shepard hurtled through the void at breakneck speed; eyes tightly shut in preparation for the crash against something, anything… Even with the distance being put between herself and the relay, the light hadn't dimmed in the slightest. In honesty, it seemed to be getting brighter. What was odd though, was that she didn't see stars or feel the cold from space on her skin. It should have burned already, and she should have been without oxygen from the get go, but she wasn't. Within seconds, where there should have been cold, there was warmth, and where vacuum should have torn her lungs apart, the air was clear and slightly moist with a hint of seasalt. Shepard collided with something powdery but textured. It was hot under her combat fatigues. Opening her eyes, she realized she was lying face down in loose beach sand.

"Commander?"

A voice rang out and shattered the stillness that she had come to accept after crashing to the ground. Shepard worked to regain her barings and moved her hand in the sand to push herself up. Sinking in the loose grains, she fell back, but the voice persisted, and after a moment, she actually tried to concentrate on it.

"Commander? Shepard?" It was mal and familiar. Anderson? No. Higher pitched than him… Her father? That couldn't be right. He wouldn't know her rank or call her that. "Shepard, snap out of it! We need to move! Come on!"

"Kaidan?" Eyes adjusting as she managed to push herself into a sitting position, Shepard recognized a beach, and she could see the lieutenant rushing toward her. He wore his usual combat fatigues and carried an assault rifle. Dropping into the sand beside her, he looked back toward some foliage where he had apparently come from and then looked back at her.

"I thought you were leaving with Ash and the salarans… What happened?"

"What?" Now taking a moment to look around more closely, she could see the outside of a base; Saren's base, and she saw the geth dropships coming down toward them. "How did I…"

"Forget it for now…" Looking at his omni tool quickly, Kaidan stood and offered his hand. "We've got to get out of here; try to escape the blast radius!"

Taking the offered hand, Shepard looked around and saw Virmire as it had been before the drive core had detonated. None of this made sense; she was here now, but she had left this planet hours, nearly a day ago… Once she was on her feet, she looked to the base and then to Kaidan, who was already surveying the land ahead. Choosing a route that followed one of the waterways, he motioned for her to follow.

"Did the others make it out?" He had broken into a swift jog now, and she had no issue keeping up with him once adrenaline had kicked in. "I sent Wrex and Tali back aboard the ship. It was taking off when I armed the bomb-" He had just managed to finish that before the geth ship began firing on them. "Damnit, get down!"

"Nothing here will hold against those munitions!" Shepard shouted over the gunfire. "Keep moving! Run!" Looking ahead, she saw a narrow but clear pass. "Through there!" She pointed, and Kaidan nodded as he changed direction. "They won't be able to target us!"

"They could shoot the rock faces and they'd trap us!"

"Got a better idea?"

With that, they rushed through the ankle-deep water and entered the narrow rock passage that led to a long stretch of beach. The ships overhead fired a few shots but then pulled up and away from the surface. That left Shepard wondering why, but it hit her; the bomb was about to go off, and they hadn't escaped the blast radius just yet…

"They're pulling out!"

"I know!" Shepard replied while keeping her breathing in check. One thing N7 training taught you was how to keep moving without sacrificing your oxygen. "Double time! We haven't cleared it yet!"

"Through here!" Kaidan dove through the exit and out into the open pool of water. "The rock formation might offer cover from the blast. Watch that last step though; it's a few feet down."

"We'll find out." Shepard did the same and landed in the water near him. "I don't know if the others made it… I just-"

At that point, whatever she was going to say was lost. Something equivalent to a colossal sonic boom filled the air, and she could already feel the heat. The sands and water around them rippled and were sent into chaos as the shockwave propelled them away from the rock face. Reaching out, she went to close her hand around the lieutenant's wrist, but it slipped in the rising water and thick wet sand. Air thick around her, she could already feel the loose sand ripping and tearing into her exposed arm. Only then did she wonder: where was her armor? Where was his?

Sent crashing through the water and wet sand, Shepard worked to catch her breath while it was constantly being knocked out of her without inhaling a quarter ton of loose sand in the process, but she was sent down hard against what felt like jagged rock while sand, ash, and water rushed over her. Taking what breath she could, she held it while the elements came at her, but soon, her lungs protested. It still wasn't safe; rock and sea stone were crumbling in the aftermath, and their loose fragments were joining the fray. She struggled to move, but pain shot through her back when she tried. Taking in a sharp breath, she instantly regretted it as sand and water filled her lungs.

"Shepard…" His voice again, but it was distant. "Shepard… Give up." That wasn't right. Why would he tell her to give up? The words were repeated, but they were muffled, and Shepard had to strain to hear them, but something was different. The voice was changing. "Shepard…" It was almost feminine, the voice was, and she shook her head to try and clear it, but that made the pain worse. Finally, it spoke again; distinctly female. "Shepard… Shepard?" A pause, and then: "Shepard, wake up."

Eyes snappig open, Shepard saw the ceiling of her cabin and the blue of the terminal's display lighting it slightly. Sitting up quickly, she looked over herself and spotted a hand on her arm. Turning to face its owner, she rapidly blinked as her eyes finished adjusting to the dim light. In a slightly out of breath voice, she addressed the newcomer. "Liara? Wha-What's going on?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing." Sitting down, Liara looked the human over. "I was passing by and heard something… I think I heard the lieutenant's name."

"Kaidan…" Resting her head in her hand, what Shepard had just seen came back full force. "I left there…"

"Yes." Liara managed with a sad tone. "That reminds me, Ashley said the officers were meeting at Flux for his… memorial." She looked a bit confused when Shepard's eyes met her. "I do not understand the purpose of a memorial in a place like that."

"It's more or less a sort of sending off." Shepard explained. "Some do it as a way of remembering the fallen in a more energetic setting. I didn't know Kaidan all that well, but I know he would appreciate that rather than a solemn affair." Frowning slightly, she gave voice to her own thoughts. "It was real; we were running to escape the blast, and they were shooting, but it wasn't right… It never was right."

"It would seem that you were dreaming."

"More than that…The beginning was strange." Shepard relayed what she had seen in the start of the dream or nightmare to Liara, and the asari took a moment to consider it. "I swear I've seen that planet before, but I don't know where."

"You said you saw Sovereign as well…" Liara looked thoughtful. "It wasn't a planet we have landed on during our travels…" At this, Shepard shook her head. "Did you…" A thought hit her. "Did you see a planet like that in what the prothean beacons showed you?"

"I don't really remember." Shepard shook her head as she stood up. "It made sense while I was seeing it, but when I try to think about it now, it just seems… I dunno, jumbled."

"Hopefully, Feros will give us more answers." Standing again as well, Liara stood by the desk and regarded her CO and friend. "You look terrible."

"After a dream like that…" It was then that Shepard took in Liara's appearance. "Wow, where are you off to?"

"Leaving for Benezia's memorial shortly."

"Holy shit…" Moving to her terminal quickly, Shepard stared at the time it displayed. "You've got to be kidding me…"

"It is nearly midday." Liara confirmed with amusement. "That is one of the reasons I checked in on you. No one had seen or heard from you since you spoke with Pressly last night."

"Anyone else going?"

"The others, yes." Liara nodded. "Are you sure you are up to it?"

"Yeah." Pulling her dress uniform from its place, Shepard nodded. "Give me a minute to freshen up and I'll meet you on the command deck."

"Alright." When Liara left, Shepard headed for the shower and gave herself a once over. Moving through the paces, she managed to wash her hair and attempt to get the exhaustion out of her face. It didn't work completely, but that was what makeup was for. Stepping out of the shower, she dried her hair and went through it before putting on the dress uniform and then applying what little makeup she needed to keep from looking as tired as she felt. She laced up her boots, checked her omni tool, pocketed a pistol, and headed out the door to find Ash, Liara, Wrex, Garrus, and Tali on the command deck talking amongst themselves and to Pressly. Ashley, who also wore dress blues, gave her CO a look over.

"Get your beauty sleep, Skipper?"

"Yeah right." Shepard joked back. "Too much. Now I can run you all twice as hard."

"Keelah…" Tali managed with a laugh.

"Started to worry, Commander. Didn't see or hear anything from you this morning." Pressly chipped in with genuine concern. "Usually you're up before anyone else… Save for Karin. She's first up."

"Went by too quickly." Shepard nodded her thanks for his concern before addressing Liara. "When does it begin?"

"In a quarter hour."

"That gives us time to get out of here and up to the presidium." Garrus quipped. "Midday traffic is bad if you don't catch it at the right time."

With that, they all headed for the airlock and back down into C-Sec academy where they hailed skycars from the terminals. Garrus had been right about the traffic; skycars flooded the airways so much that they were in gridlock for a short time. That was only in the wards' level, however. When they emerged into the artificial sunlight, the traffic lightened considerably. The memorial for the late matriarch was to be held in the embassy lounge, and from rumor, there weren't going to be many there paying their respects. It was still assumed that she had been a traitor working with the rogue spectre Saren, but for those who doubted she would do such a thing, the lunge was open to them. Arriving, the crew noticed that there were a few diplomats, ambassadors, and others that they didn't know. Among the recognizable were the asari councilor, Nassana Dantius, Ambassador Calyn, Barla Von, the CO of the Destiny Ascension, Executor Palin, Ambassador Udina, and Captain Anderson. If there were others, Shepard didn't spot them initially. The latter two were already waving them over.

"Figured you'd be here, Shepard." Anderson said as she and the crew approached him. "Not as solemn an affair as I expected."

"Do not underestimate these people." Udina commented dryly. "They know how to drink people under the table like everyone else."

"Speaking from personal experience, Ambassador?" Anderson didn't miss a chance to take a shot at the man, and Udina rewarded him with raised eyebrows and a scowl. This left the others containing their humor. Important though he was, Udina thought a lot of himself, and everyone seemed to know it.

"For your information, Captain, yes. I have seen a few of these people… out of sorts."

While those two continued talking, Shepard and the others took the time to mingle with the crowd and hear tales about the late matriarch. Some were more politically or business affiliated, but there were some humorous or interesting stories mixed in. Liara spoke with a few people that no one recognized, but they were presumed to be asari that she had known through her mother. There were two asari nearby talking, and one was the Ascension's CO. The other was one that no one recognized.

"…She did say once that she had high hopes for you, I remember." The unidentified one said with a half smile.

"I remember that. Unfortunately, if she looked at my service record she would have been disappointed." Matriarch Lidanya said this with a short laugh. "She had me pegged as a diplomat, can you believe that?"

"You, a diplomat?" The other joked. "No, I can't say I can…"

The next few hours went by in the same pattern. People talked about Benezia in good spirits and some shared theories on why she would work with Saren at all, and some had it right. It seemed that they knew her better than anticipated. Shepard spoke with a few people including Barla Von, who handed over an interesting datapad.

"Commander, it seems our paths cross again." The volus said as he broke away from a conversation with a turian ambassador. "I was asked to pass on a message to the hero of the blitz." He passed along a datapad with a simple and short message diaplayed on it once Shepard touched the scanner and it recognized her ID.

"A pity our encounter was so short on Agebinium. We will meet again."

"Haliat." Shepard muttered. Looking back to where Barla Von had been, she noted that he had left to speak with someone else, and she assumed it had been a discrete drop. Haliat had been a turian they had encountered on the aforementioned planet while investigating an Alliance espionage probe from the First Contact War. He had arranged a trap to seal her in the mine by means of a sonic explosion, but it had failed. It was assumed he had been killed in the conflict that had ensued after Shepard, Liara, and Ash had escaped the mine, but apparently not.

"Elanos Haliat?"

"Councilor?" Shepard turned to face the asari nearby.

"Elanos Haliat. I know the name." She clarified. Moving away from a small cluster of people, the councilor sat down at a nearby table. "A turian wanted in Council space. How did his name come up in your investigation?"

"I encountered him on a remote world." Shepard sat down as well and went on to explain. "The Alliance had asked that I investigate a signal they were getting in the region, and I was nearby. I landed, saw that the signal was coming from an abandoned mine, and went in to see what was going on." Pocketing the datapad, the spectre concluded. "When we found the source of the signal, he had a holo waiting. I can see why he would be wanted in council space. He was responsible for the Skyllian Blitz."

"The Skyllian Blitz?" Keeping her voice low, the councilor frowned slightly in confusion. "As I recall, batarian raiders and slavers were responsible for the blitz. There was no mention of Haliat."

"He was the instigator." Shepard nodded. "Batarians were responsible, but he was the leader of a pirate ring in the Terminus at the time. From what I gathered, he wanted to boost his reputation by destroying the largest human settlement in the region. He sent the batarians to Elysium, but when the attack failed, he was blamed and shamed. This was a futile attempt to get some semblance of status back by taking down the first human spectre and the one who he says is at fault for his disgrace."

"So he is still out there… It was rumored that he was killed in a reactor meltdown a few years back."

"Seems he has nine lives." At the councilor's questioning look, Shepard clarified. "It's a human expression meaning he should have been killed, but he manages to survive impossible odds."

"Interesting how our enemies tend to have such luck."

"And the good ones get killed in the first attempt." Shepard nodded with a bitter tone. "Benezia and my lieutenant didn't deserve this, and he continues to live."

"There is one thing that easily separates him from them." Tevos managed while accepting a drink from the passing bartender. Shepard did the same before responding.

"What's that?"

"Unlike his eventual demise, their deaths will have meant something."

"Forgive me, but damn right." Shepard said simply and the two paused to take a ling sip from their respective glasses. "Their sacrifice will have meant something."


A/N: So this is chapter eight :) Working on chapter nine now: "Words and Actions". As a challenge, I wonder just who know why I chose to make Elanos Haliat turian. :) As a personal note, I didn't know this until I really paid attention. Happy Wednesday, everyone!