Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.
Thank you svirelka for beta'ing
The boy he didn't know
Chapter V
27 October
I've never been so down in my whole life. Empty. Hollow.
I haven't seen you at the Astronomy Tower for two days now, and I don't know what to do.
For almost a month now I've been meeting you at the Tower, silently watching the sunrise with you.
I've realized that those nights meant the world to me. I've never even considered that you wouldn't be there. Not even once.
Though I still see you in the halls it doesn't make things any easier to bear, quite the opposite actually.
This day was no difference from the day before. I walk from class to class, always trying to see you, always trying to get an eye contact with you. And just as the day before, you don't see me.
It breaks my heart. Again.
My mind was all foggy the whole day. The hope of seeing you was the only thing on my mind. Well, no…
The hope of you seeing me.
That was the only thing I had. Hope.
But it's crushed now.
I was wandering aimlessly along the halls of Hogwarts, while the last sunrays were still touching the ground. Not that I was aware of it then. I can't say that I was aware of anything at all at that moment.
I had just finished my last classes for the day, and after I left my bag in the dungeons, my legs started wandering.
That's how I found myself in one of many towers of Hogwarts.
I faintly remember walking towards one of the windows, leaning my elbows on the sill and lightly leaning out.
By drawing a deep breath I remember feeling a little better. But only a little.
It really was a beautiful day: the sky was blue and the sun was still shining. It was a perfect day, but to me, to me nothing's perfect.
I shifted my gaze from the sky to the grounds, and what I saw was the opposite of perfect.
When I first saw you, the world seemed a little brighter. You were walking towards the castle; I guess you'd been with Hagrid. I never did understand what was so special about him. There are a lot of things that I don't understand. But Hagrid, you seem to like him and that reason is enough for me to believe he's a good man.
I remember my smile dying on my lips when the redhead walked up to you, the female redhead.
As soon as she caught up with you, she was all over you, and the worst part was that you didn't seem to mind that much. Quite the opposite actually.
Then she pressed her lips to yours, and my whole world crumbled.
I couldn't move. I don't know if I could breathe. And I know that I couldn't see anything, because when I finally gathered the courage to raise my head again, you were gone.
I almost threw myself out of the window that evening; I was leaning out, thinking of what was left to live for.
My parents were dead. My "friends" were idiots. And you, you don't see me.
If I died, who would miss me? Would anyone notice me gone? Would anybody ask: "Where is that blond guy?" or "Where is the ferret?"
Would you notice me gone? Would you just live your life as before, except now with the redhead?
Would you celebrate my death? Celebrate that the last Malfoy heir was finally dead?
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I decided not to jump.
I didn't give up, I won't give up. I didn't in the tower and I won't here in my dormitory.
I will not break.
I won't give you that satisfaction.
DM
TBC
Author: I know that I haven't updated in a long while, but my computer have been on vacation, with out my permission, so I haven't been able to update.
Well anyway I hope you liked this chapter cuz I had some problems with it. But thankfully my lovely friend Clalyan helped me out a lot (you practically gave me the whole chapter Clalyan) So that is why I'm now saying a million "thank you"'s to Clalyan for your never fading inspiration, help, support, threats, insults, cheering and all that other stuff.
You make my day, thank you Clalyan.
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