Disclaimer: All Characters belong to JK Rowling.

Thank you svirelka for beta'ing

The boy he didn't know
Chapter IX

1 November

I finally fell asleep last night, I have no idea when but I remember waking up. Breathing hard, untangling myself from my sheets and stepping into the bathroom, all in a haze.

It never crossed my mind then, but my roommates weren't anywhere to be seen.

Peeling off my sweaty pyjamas I stepped into the shower, wishing the water would wash away the lingering nightmares. Wishing but knowing that they would haunt me forever.

Closing my eyes briefly as I stood under the stray of water I could see the expression on your face, the face I didn't have the courage to look into, in the real world but haunted me in my dreams, where no eyelids could spare me.

Not lingering in the shower longer than necessary I wrapped myself in a towel and quickly finished the rest of my morning routine.


I was late for Transfiguration. I know that I should have realized that long time before I stepped into the classroom.
But since my mind is never clear these days, and especially not in the morning, since that's when the nightmares are still fresh, so I didn't snap out of my own world until McGonagall's shrill voice woke me up:
"Mr. Malfoy! 45 minutes late. I expect more of you, Detention".

I didn't even react: I was to busy trying not to look for you, who I knew would be in the room.

Still my eyes found your raven hair in between Granger and Weasley.
My attention slipped.

Weasley leaned in and whispered something to you, snickering as he leaned back.
Granger glaring slightly as you too snickered a little.

I was surprised when I didn't become jealous; I've always been in the past.

But in that classroom I felt anger, anger towards your friends. Anger towards you.

How could they call themselves your friends when they didn't notice the fake smile upon your lips, your new quiet mood, I didn't get it. Still don't. The way you spoke only when spoken to. How could they not notice?

And anger towards you. Yes, the broken pieces of my heart were still hurting, but for a moment anger mended them.

How could you make such a big effort for them? Desperately trying to not to show them the pain inside you. The pain you hide behind brave smiles and fake laughter.

You try so hard for them. But as for me, you don't give a shit about.

Every time I tried to show you some emotions of my usually cold self, you push me away.
Not caring about the pieces you tear from my heart with every push.

I just want to know why? Why do you care so much about them, and so little about me?

"Mr. Malfoy, would you please join us?" McGonagall's irritated voice suddenly cut through my anger, replacing it with dread as I saw you standing there by her desk, head bowed.

I walked slowly to the front of the room, looking at the desk, stopping in front of it and waiting for McGonagall to start speaking.

"You have been given detention and I expect you both here at eight o'clock, dismissed".

Surprised I raised my head to look at you, what had you done to get detention, but I only saw your back as you had already turned around and were rapidly making your way out of the room.

I gathered my books quickly and hurried after you, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I had finally found the courage to confront you.

But when I had come out of the classroom, you were already gone.

So with a heavy sigh, I made my way towards the dungeons, screaming at myself silently for not being fast enough to catch you. For not daring to be any faster.

DM

TBC

Author:

So the 9th chapter is up, comments? I'll probably update the next chapter soon, but not as fast as I've done recently.

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers, I'll give you all a cookie!