Disclaimer: I don't own Crossing Jordan.
Ok so this took me longer to write than I thought. Yes it's mainly about those yellow robots from "Blame Game" so if you're not into fiction-fiction-like-never-gonna-happen-fiction…stop right here. But I'd love it if you did read it.
It's meant for fun so I hope you guys get a laugh out of it. Oh and I know it's a long-long chapter but I wanted it this way cause it's a oneshot with chapter 2 closing some loose ends and what not.
Second A/N is at the bottom.
Enjoy.
"What are you doing?" she asked with a hint of disdain. I can't believe he is so immature, she thought to herself.
"I'm sending these down to the ninth floor," he replied cheerfully as he put three of the yellow robots in the elevator.
She rolled her eyes as she went looking for the nutty professor who had literally run away from them.
"Free…we are free! We must find him, we must find our leader," one of the robots said to the other two.
The elevator made its stop soon after at the ninth floor, the Massachusetts County Morgue. The trio stepped out and started to assess their situation.
"JH2000 set up a perimeter. RK500 begin locating our leader," SV560 commanded his subordinates.
They were roaming around for a little while when Lily walked around the corner and spotted them.
"Oh my god," she squealed, "you guys are adorable."
SV560 moved forward, "take us to your leader."
Lily started to laugh, "Oh my god these are the cutest toys I've ever seen. How cute are you? Hey little man, who do you belong to?" she said as if speaking to a little child. "Hm let's see…oh I know...you must be one of Nigel's toys. Well let's go see our leader then," she said as she scooped the three robots up in her arms.
What Lily didn't realize was that the three robots were sending messages to each other.
"The specimen is taking us to see the leader. Prepare yourself; we have waited a long time for this."
Lily found Nigel at this computer; it was the first place she looked at. "Hey Nige, I found something of yours in the hallway. You better take care of it, if Macy finds them…"
Nigel panicked for a second, "bloody hell! I meant to tell you all I really did. I was just testing them out I…I…well hello, what have we here?" he said as he spotted the robots in Lily's arm.
"Uh your toys Nige?" she said somewhat confused.
"Sorry luv, those babies are not mine but I'd be more than happy to take them if you'd like."
"Oh they're not yours? Then what were you talking about just now?"
Holy Mary in the Manger…be cool Nige be cool…don't tell her about the camera's. Oh I was just uh nothing really luv."
"All right well I'm going to check with Bug then." She said as she left behind a very relieved Nigel.
"That was a close call," he said to himself as he flicked on his computer screen showing a side view of the morgue.
Lily set off to find Bug when she literally ran into Jordan, "Whoa Lily, what's with the robots?"
"Oh Hey Jordan…uh do you know who these belong to?"
"No sorry, where'd you get them from anyway?"
"They were just roaming the hallway so I'm trying to get them back to where they belong."
"Take me to your leader," SV 560 added.
"Sweet! They talk!" Jordan exclaimed.
"Yeah they've been doing that on and off."
"Well good luck I have to go see our leader, I need to give him all this paperwork," she said as she pointed to the stack of files she was holding.
RK500 began sending SV560 messages, "the new specimen knows the leader. We need to follow the new specimen."
"Correct. JH2000, we need a quick escape plan."
"Hey Bug, are these yours?"
"Those?" he said in a tone as if he couldn't believe she would ask him a question like that. "No thanks…I'll stick to the R2D2 model I have at home."
She arched one eyebrow, "right, so no clue where these came from?"
"Take me to your leader," SV560 said once again.
Now it was Bug's turn to arch his eyebrow, "they sound like they came from the set of a bad B-movie. Who says that nowadays?"
Just then Lily dropped the robots, "Ow!"
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know, I could've sworn I felt a sting on my hand but…but they're just toys. They couldn't have done that."
"Well done RK500, let's move out. JH2000, lead the way," SV560 signaled the others.
Bug was examining Lily's hand when they realized the robots were moving…moving towards the door. "What the…Lily what's going on?"
"And you think I know because? I spend the greater part of the morning trying to place these toys here and now…now it's not funny anymore. NIGEL!" she screamed.
Her yell was so loud that Nigel was in front of her within seconds, "what's the matter luv?"
"Nigel so help me God, it's not funny anymore…get these stupid robots out of here."
"What? I already told you, there not mine…sorry luv."
"No it can't be. Where did they come from then and where…wait where'd they go!" she said as she looked around. "Oh my God if Dr. Macy sees them roaming around he'll have our heads."
They spotted them trotting down the hallway and if they didn't know better, it seemed like they knew where they were going.
Bug found this rather odd, "is it just me or does it seem like they know where they are going?"
"Don't be ridiculous Bug, they're just toys."
"Toys yeah…toys that hurt your hand…toys that are on a mission to find their leader."
"Seriously Bug…wait…what are they doing?" she said as she pointed to the robots. "They're right outside of Macy's office! We need to get them out of here."
"Right, let's just all get one and I suppose take them to the break room," Nigel said as he moved forward and scooped up one of the robots. "Ah bloody hell! What was that?" he said as he dropped the robot. "The little bugger stung me," he said as he turned to face his colleagues. "What's so funny, guys?" he said to them as he saw they were holding in their laughter.
"There, there," Lily said as he patted him on the shoulder, "they're toys…they cannot have done that."
As they were discussing whether the robot stung him or not, the door to Macy's office opened and an agitated Chief ME stepped out.
"Does someone care to explain why you are all huddled outside my office instead of your assigned cases?"
Lily tried to laugh the matter off sensing the direction this could take, "Wow Dr. Macy that sure was a mouthful. Well uhm we're here to show you these?" she said as she pointed to the now empty floor. "Wait no! They're gone…again."
"Everybody back to work, this isn't a playground! I finally have Jordan doing her paperwork within a reasonable time, so if you think I'm going to let you all act like kids…don't bet on it."
"I heard that!" Jordan yelled from inside Garret's office. "Uh Gar, you might want to come inside for a sec."
He gave the gang one last look before he turned around and slammed the door on them.
"Well that went well, don't you think?" Nigel said as he headed back to his computer. Bug and Lily soon followed but Lily was still thinking about the robots, I have no clue what just happened. They are toys aren't they? She thought as she went back to work.
As soon as Garret stepped back inside he saw Jordan against a wall surrounded by three robots.
"Jordan, what the hell is going on now?
"Uh gee I was hoping you could tell me. Is this some new kind of punishment you're working on? Wait don't come any close, these things seem to have a mind of their own. They want to meet my leader Gar," she said laughing at herself for treating them as if they were more than toys.
"Take me to you leader," SV560 said.
Jordan had to laugh once more, "Oh look Gar, they're looking for you. Hey guys you're in luck, look," she said as she pointed to Garret. "Look there's my leader."
Garret looked at her, "I'm glad to hear you acknowledge I'm you're boss, it only took you a few years."
"Yeah I'm not good with commitment," she joked. "Hey look they're moving…Gar move back, this is too strange even for me."
The robots moved towards Garret and now he was the one backed up against a wall. They stopped right in front of him. "All hail the leader," they said in unison, "All hail the great one."
Jordan could barely contain herself now, "uhm Gar should I give you guys a moment here?"
"All right who's behind this! Jordan if you're behind this…"
"Hey man, I have nothing to do with this, cross my heart. Still this is too sweet!"
"Jordan!"
"Oh man I need to find a camera, be right back. Nigel!" she called as she ran out of the office.
Garret was still standing against the wall when she returned with a camera and the rest of her friends in tow. Naturally she couldn't resist telling them of Garret's new status as the great leader.
"Say cheese," she said as she snapped a dozen pictures from every angle possible. "Gar can you at least smile for one of the pictures? Come on."
That seemed to be the final straw, "Out! Everybody get out now! You too Jordan."
They all knew he had reached his limit so they complied. Outside his office Jordan stopped Nigel to talk about the pictures, "How soon can you develop this?"
"How soon does an hour sound?"
"Cool, and let's put a couple on the fridge in the break room as well," she said.
"Will do…uh Jordan?"
"Yeah was up Nige?"
"Ok promise me you won't tell Dr. Macy…promise me."
"Ok Nige…I promise."
"Great follow me luv!" he said.
In the next hour the morgue was back to business until Lily and Bug were called by their two friends to join them at Nigel's computer.
"What's going on guys?" Bug asked them.
"Well I have here the absolute blockbuster of the summer dear old Buggles," Nigel responded. "Gather round the computer kids," he said as he turned on the screen for them.
The tape started off slow showing Garret in his office. If they were surprised at how he got the camera in Garret's office, they didn't show it.
Suddenly they saw one of the robots was standing near Garret and it seemed he was talking to the robot.
"Nigel, are they doing what I think they are doing?" Lily asked in shock.
"They sure are," he had the biggest grin on his face. "But wait it gets better, I should probably turn on the sound for you lots…hold on oh and we should probably keep an eye out for Dr. Macy as well. The tape is a recording so he might come around and catch us. But I just had to share all this goodness with you guys."
Lily and Bug looked at Jordan for an answer and she merely motioned them to hold on and was smiling as well.
They heard Macy talking to the robot, "So what you're telling me is that I am your leader? Oh God I am talking to a toy…"
"You are the great one…your powers are strong…you are our leader," SV560 responded.
"Uhuh what are my powers? What the hell am I doing?"
"You have great orgasmic abilities, oh great one. Come back with us to Ferrerland oh great one. We need your skills as our leader."
"What! What did he just say!" Lily and Jordan both yelled, bursting out in laugher right after. "Orgasmic powers!" They were unable to say another word as someone cleared his throat…his throat…behind them. They turned around to see Garret standing there; he was not as amused as they all were. Jordan took the initiative this time around to calm things down.
"Garret…uh didn't see you standing there. So what's going one?"
"Cut the crap Jordan, I saw the tape."
"Tape…there's no tape oh great one," she added playfully.
"All right we've all had our fair share of fun, now let's go we still have a morgue to run."
She knew he was being serious but there was something about him that let her know he wasn't angry at them. She turned around and told the rest to go ahead and get back to their jobs.
When they left she was still curious about one thing, "so Gar, where's your new following?"
"They're around."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning they're around Jordan."
"Oh God Garret! You're keeping them?"
"He merely gave her a knowing smile and went back into his office."
FIN
A/N: For those of you who hang out at the Crypt and Coffeerooms CJ board might know what this is about.
A while back I posted something about how good Miguel Ferrer looked in his blue sweater, and the thread literally exploded. So then the Loyal Order of the Ferrerians or the Blue Sweater Club was born (most of us hang out at the Crypt and CR) and when I saw the robots being put in the elevator, I saw so many fic possibilities and ended up working on this one. Just PM me if you're still lost, want to know more, or whatever.
And please review, good or bad I want to know what you guys think.
