"Would you like something to drink?" asked Count Olaf. He hoped that he had what she wanted. She was a very in lady, and sometimes people that are very in want peculiar things to eat and drink.
"Oh," giggled Esme, "Do you have any parsley soda?" Count Olaf thought about this for a second.
"Yes. Yes, I do. I believe I picked some up just this morning at 'The IN Boutique' just this morning."
"Well, you know, a person as in as yourself would probably stop by 'The IN Boutique quite frequently. I know I do!" she grinned at him. What a catch this man was! He even had parsley soda!
Count Olaf got up out of the couch where they were sitting and headed over to the fridge to get Esme her parsley soda. He made sure that she stayed on the couch, because he didn't want her to see what a filthy mess his house was. The only reason that he even had parsley soda was because he honestly liked it. No kidding!
When he came back with the parsley soda she began wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Can't you see?" she asked with a disappointed sound in her voice. She kept wiggling her eyebrows. They looked like two furry caterpillars. She had tried to grow a unibrow but it just wouldn't grow in full. It was the one in thing that she hadn't been able to acquire. Yet.
"You're wiggling your eyebrows up and down. I can see that. But why?" he asked with a sound of disbelief in his voice.
"Oooohhh!" she exclaimed with a high-pitched squeal. Count Olaf resisted the urge to plug his ears. He didn't want to scare this in little lady away. "I was working on my acting!"
"You're a a you're a good actress!" he stuttered. Even though she wasn't. But when she was wiggling her eyebrows he had been convinced that she had gone completely crazy. Hopefully she was acting… he didn't want a crazy women in his house.
"Oh, thank you!" she squealed again. "It's very in to be a good actress!"
"Well, if being a good actress is in, than you are certainly the most in person that I, have ever met!"
"You're kidding? It's very in to be in!" she squealed once again.
"I am most certainly NOT kidding!" he shouted, but it was a friendly shout. If you can imagine Count Olaf being friendly… which I can most certainly not.
"So do I still need acting lessons?" she asked.
"Well…" he tapped his finger on the side of his head, which is a ridiculous way of showing that you are in fact thinking about something.
"If you want to improve your acting skills, than you would." He finally decided. At that point the ridiculous head tapping ceased. Thank goodness!
"Oh, than we should start right now!" she squealed. Squealing was in, and Esme tried to fit it in whenever possible, but no matter how in squealing was, it was getting on Count Olaf's nerves.
"Could you puhlease stop squealing!" he asked in the politest voice that he could muster up. Stop squealing!" he asked in the politest voice that he could muster up. That is if you can imagine Count Olaf being as polite as a bald shiny-headed man in a very nice suit that is sitting under the shiny shiny sun. Cause I can't!
"But squealing is in…" she pouted.
"Actresses don't squeal." He made up an answer that would make her stop. This is another way of saying he created a big fact lie to get himself out of the situation. Which you should never never never never never never never never ever ever ever ever ever do!
"Than I don't either… because I am going to be a very successful young actriz!" she amazingly did not squeal this time. Whew! Glad that's over!
"Yes, you most certainly are!" he smiled at her.
A smile that reached all the way up to his shiny shiny eyes.
