Chapter 2:
While Jordan has secretly doing her own investigation, Woody couldn't wait to call it a day. He looked at his watch and corrected himself... Morning actually.
He wanted to take the world's longest shower and follow it up with the world's second longest. It never helped it never did. There wasn't enough water in the world to wash away the filth he sees on a daily basis.
He spent the night going from alleyway to alleyway until he found his perp. Five minutes was all he wanted. Five minutes was enough to rattle someone's cage. The creep wasn't any more forthcoming then he was with his lawyer in tow, but Woody didn't have to worry about the cameras of the interrogation room.
Jordan had nothing from the body. It didn't surprise him. This wasn't the first prostitute from that corner to turn up dead. And unless they could find something...anything...this piece of shit would do it again. If he was lucky, he riled the piece of crap enough to get him to slip up.
Sometime you had to get dirty to get the job done.
The job wasn't fair. The scales of justice were weighed to heavy on the wrong side. It was times like this that he felt like he was over his head and sinking quickly. He had to reach deep down and try to remember why he did what he did.
Days like today, he just wanted to jump in his car and drive until Boston was a distant memory. It was days like this he doubted if he'd even make it through the day without going completely insane.
He clocked out and stumbled to his car. He was keying the lock when his phone rang and his whole being crumbled around him in one fatal moment.
"Woody, this is Garret. Jordan's been...hurt. She's on her way to the hospital."
The news from the scene was pretty sketchy but that wasn't stopping Garret from getting to the bottom of what happened. Jordan told Lily she was going back to the scene of the homicide she'd pulled the day before. She had some questions she wanted to ask some of the locals.
Lily's inner voice told her to tell him. Over the years, Garret's learned to take that little voice of hers seriously. He was about to pick up the phone to call Jordan and tell her to get her butt back to work...when it rang instead.
The first officer on the scene recognized her. Jordan had been stabbed twice in the abdomen and her throat had been slashed. Garret could only imagine the blood bath the officer and his partner had stumbled on. By the time the ambulance arrived Jordan had lost consciousness. By the time she arrived at the hospital they couldn't find the baby's heartbeat.
Now, he stood staring down the hospital hallway waiting to see if they could still save Jordan.
That was how Woody found him. He didn't need to ask to know it was bad. It was written all over Macy's face.
"Is she...?" Woody asked softly. He didn't dare speak any louder. Like if he voiced it, it would be true.
For Woody it seemed like it took Garret hours to answer when in actuality it only took seconds.
"...no." Garret said methodically. "She did seize on the way to surgery. They had to restart her heart twice."
Woody felt his stomach drop into his feet as Garret told him everything he knew. Woody answered the questions that were left.
Jordan walked into a hornet's nest that Woody riled. He should have told her about what he did. He should have realized she'd do something like go down there herself.
He knew her. He knew how her mind worked around a body.
He remembered the crime scene. Their heated words. His realistic pessimism, her dogged tenacity to find justice in even the most impossible situations. It seemed like they were always yelling at each other anymore.
Garret spelled out Jordan's prognosis. Woody only heard every other word. The blood was pumping too loudly in Woody's ears.
"...if there is any consolation they were able to stop the uterine bleeding. A hysterectomy isn't necessary..."
"What?" Woody gasped as it sunk in. "The baby...?"
Garret laid his hand on Woody's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
"My God. She really wanted this baby so bad...Pollack...She's going to be devastated..."
Garret knew he was overstepping his bounds but in light of the tragedy he felt Woody needed to know the truth.
"The baby was yours Woody."
"No..."
Years of conditioning surfaced in Garret. He did the only thing he knew what to do. "I'm sorry for your loss..."
Woody felt the blood leave his face. He sank down in a near by chair.
"No...You're mistaken. If Jordan was pregnant with my...with my...baby she would have been upfront with me...You know how she feels about dishonesty."
"She felt she had her reasons Woody. I didn't agree with her...but I had to respect her wishes."
"Reasons? What fucking reasons would she have to keep me from my child...?"
Even as the question was out of his mouth Woody knew the answer. She cut him out of his child's life because he had cut her out of his. She didn't want him to feel the need to hang on to a dieing relationship.
He buried his head in his hands. He willed the tears to come but all he felt was empty.
Down the hallway the surgeon was breathing a guarded sigh of relief. Jordan's bleeding had been controlled. Now the question remained...was the woman inside the body saved as well.
It took two more days to answer those questions.
Two long days that Garret stood vigil at Jordan's bed. For the first 24 hours they kept her in a medically induced coma and respirator. The second day she was raised from critical and taken off the breathing apparatus.
Now they just waited.
Woody spent his time in the waiting room with the others. Every time he closed his eyes he saw as she was when they wheeled her out of surgery. He didn't recognize her. At first he thought that maybe someone made a mistake. That the person in that bed wasn't her. Garret assured him there hadn't been any mistakes. The tubes, the wires, the sounds and smells were all too much for Woody to handle. Even after countless pints of blood she still had that waxy pale look of death. He refused to stand there and watch when he knew he was the one to blame. He stood back unable to leave...but unable to worry with the rest.
Jordan's eyes fluttered open and she heard Garret's gentle encouraging words.
"That's it. Come back Jordan..."
The first sensation she had was one of weightlessness but when she tried to move she felt like a herd of elephants were sitting on her. Garret's face came into view. She opened her mouth to speak and nothing but a hoarse whisper came out.
"Don't try to talk... you had a breathing tube down her throat for awhile. Your vocal cords are going to be a little tender. Do you want something to drink?"
When she nodded Garret cautiously let out the breath he had been holding forever and poured her a cup of water.
"Jordan?" he asked once she had a sip from the straw. "Do you know where you are?"
Jordan nodded and her hands inched to her middle she felt the flat plane of her abdomen.
Jordan was allowed one visitor at a time. Garret asked Woody if he wanted to be first. Woody just shook his head and said he had something to take care off. It did take a mind reader to know what he was going to do. Garret caught him at the elevator.
"It's not worth it Hoyt. She's fine. She's going to be alright. Let the system work."
"Really?" Woody said sarcastically. "She's lost her child and she damn near lost her life. She'll carry the scars around to remind her of it for the rest of her life. Don't tell me she's going to be alright Doc...because nothing is ever going to be the same for her again."
Woody pushed away the second the elevator opened and he slammed the close button as soon as he stepped in, leaving Garret standing helplessly as he watched his friend go flush his life away.
Jordan was thankful for the Morphine that was steadily dripping in her IV. Not only were her injuries reduced to a dull ache, but she was also able to turn off her emotion pain as well. The only thing that she couldn't ignore was this empty feeling deep down inside. She knew in her heart of hearts no drug could ever take that away.
Lily combed her hair and pulled it back in a scrunchie. She refused to let Jordan look in the mirror just telling her that she still looked beautiful. Jordan wanted to see the cut on her neck and later convinced Nigel to let her look.
It wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. As the knife was digging in her throat she was sure it was going to go straight through to her spine. Something stopped him. A noise or a movement...or Jordan pleading for her child's life.
Funny, she doesn't remember the pain. There must have been. You'd think there would be. Jordan let the fuzzy edges of her drug muffled thoughts take her to a calmer place.
Intensive care had its own set of visitor hours. Or at least that's what Woody told himself when he let himself in to Jordan's room. It was well after midnight and the lights were still on. For the first time Woody saw the true extent of her injuries. The most obvious was the cut on her neck. It went ear to ear, standing out like some grotesque smile on her pale skin. He didn't want to see what was below the blanket even though it was obvious what was missing.
He remembered the day he noticed the change. He had heard the rumors. He chose to ignore them until he couldn't anymore. Jordan should have told him the baby was his. But conversations between them were strained at best and he could see where she would have thought she wouldn't be welcome.
Deep down, he could honestly admit he might have not been.
Now he'd never know. His baby was gone and he didn't even know if he would have had a son or a daughter.
Jordan woke up to see Woody staring at her with an expression she had hoped she'd never see again. It was one of utter defeat. The same look he had when he told her to screw her pity and kicked her out of his life for the first time.
"Hey," she whispered.
Woody's eyes locked with hers and he smiled.
"Hey."
"I heard you threatened to castrate one of the hospital's janitors."
"He tried to take my coffee cup and I wasn't done yet."
"So they kicked you out..."
"No," Woody chuckled. "Lily made me apologize."
"Oh...my mistake. I figured you waited until now to sneak past security to say hi. I've seen your face since I woke up. A girl notices these things." she whispered with a weak chuckle.
Leave it to Jordan to joke at a time like this. Woody took the chair that someone had left by the bed. "You know me. I get queasy at the sight blood."
"Garret's not very good at lying. He said you stepped out to check on the status of my...the case. You didn't do something stupid did you?"
Woody scrubbed his hands down his face and Jordan saw the abrasions on his knuckles.
"Oh Woody."
For a second the only sound in the room was her IV pump administering he next set of pain medications. Jordan felt them sing into her veins.
The words poured out of some where deep in his soul.
"I wasn't going to let him get away with this. I didn't care what it cost me. He wasn't going to live another minute. I found him in this pool hall next to the bus station. He knew why I was there and he knew there wasn't a legal thing I could do about it. All I wanted to do was wipe that smug look off his face. Before I knew it I had him against the wall with a pool stick pressed against his throat. He stood there turning purple and all I could think of was how easy he was getting off."
"That's when I heard your voice. Suddenly, I was back in that garage...I had my gun stuffed up Riggs nose and all I wanted to do was pull the trigger. But you told me he wasn't worth it. You told me I was better than that. You weren't going to let me pay for his crimes. Suddenly... I couldn't do it. I wanted to so bad...but I couldn't kill him."
Jordan nodded giving him a watery smile. "I'm glad."
"I'm not cut out for this anymore Jordan."
Jordan looked at him incredulously.
"It's my fault you're here. I purposely spun him up and you walked in to a trap. It's my fault the baby is gone."
"Woody..." she warned. She looked at her IV wishing it away. Her fuzzy brain was trying to process what he was saying but it was too difficult.
"I've lost myself somewhere along the line. I almost killed a man in cold blood tonight and I can't guarantee I won't try again tomorrow."
Jordan felt a faint cold fear through the miasma of her meds. "Stop it. You don't know what you're saying..."
"I'm leaving. I have to. I turned my badge in about a half hour ago. I can't live like this anymore Jordan. Everything I love I destroy. I need to step back and find some even ground."
"Woody don't. Don't leave me." Her fragile supply of energy was dwindling fast.
Woody stood up and kissed her forehead. "It'll be better for everyone concerned this way."
"But I love you..." she mouthed.
The whispered words cut him through the bone.
"...I know"
He held her face in his hands until the drugs caught up with her again and he kissed her sleeping lips softly. "I love you too."
AN: Phew. That's over. It can only get brighter from here. :)
