A/N: I own nothing.
A/N: I just had to write this. It was inspired back a protest my speech captain took part in yesterday and it's really amazing. Enjoy! (Oh yes and Olivia is a lesbian in this story...don't worry, I'm still an OE shipper at heart.)
Song: Can You Hear Me?
Artist: Cindy Mullen
Detective Olivia Benson stared into the horizon that made up the afternoon of New York City. From her place atop the precinct building, she could see the tops of the skyscrapers and view the miniscule chaos of below. The roof was always a place she came to think…and today she had quite a lot to think about. She knew Elliot wanted to talk to her, but Olivia couldn't talk to him.
He, of course, couldn't understand that. She wasn't sure she could blame him. The two always discussed their most traumatic cases – and yesterday's had certainly qualified. It was a suicide. A seventeen-year-old rape victim had committed suicide. Not because she had been raped – but because she was a lesbian.
Hey, can you hear me, are you really out there?
Oh, I am trapped in the cages of the scars I must bear.
And I can't tell and I can't speak,
I can't even repeat,
What it is
A lesbian. She died because she was a lesbian. Of all the things that girl had gone though in her life – her mother's death, her father's drinking, her own rape – the one to finally break her had been her sexuality. In a country that prided itself as being free, "with liberty and justice for all," it was amazing how quickly that evaporated when the issue involved accepting something that was different from the norm.
Hey, can you see me, see these hollowed eyes?
Don't you think something is missing, in my calm, peaceful smile?
But I can't tell and I can't speak,
I can't even repeat,
What it is
Discrimination was nothing new to America. Hell, they'd been discriminating other groups since the birth of the nation. It took years and years for any change to be made. It also took a voice. And someone willing to listen.
She had no voice, Olivia realized sadly. There had been no one to stand up and defend her. The circle of onlookers was just that – a pointless circle of onlookers. High school students merely standing by as a classmate endured the verbal torture. She stood there alone, surrounded by the enemy, surrounded by a circle of fire. It was the one against the many. She stood alone, listening as her classmates jeered at her, called her a fag, mocked the story of her rape, as they couldn't believe any man would touch a lesbian. How her sexuality had gotten out, the girl would never know, and neither, now, would Olivia. She stood there in perceived silence, enduring the abuse. No one would listen. No one was there to hear her cry.
Can you hear me; hear the sound of my pain?
Can you hear me; hear the words I don't say?
Hey, what's your problem; can't you hear what I said?
I am here drowning in sorrow, while you sleep on your beds.
And I can't tell and I can't speak,
I can't even repeat,
What it is
I get down on my knees,
And I cry to you, Oh Lord.
Give me all your strength, Help me make it through,
I reach out to you.
Oh can you hear me, hear me…
It was after that scene that the girl decided to kill herself. Her note that she left next to her asphyxiated body explained why she had done it. Even as Olivia and Elliot found her, they knew it was too late. Nothing could save her now. As horrible as it sounded, perhaps it was better for her that way. She was now free. Free from the discrimination, and prejudice, and harassment. She was free. But how many more had she left behind? How many more had she left in the voice of the minority; the one unheard? How many more victims were out there…those whose sexuality was known…and those who didn't discuss it. They were all victims. Victims of a close-minded society. Like me, Olivia realized.
Hey, can you hear me, someone whispered to me.
I understand all your hurting,
How you ache, how you bleed.
But the scars that you bear
Will one day make the whole world free.
There was no question why so many people kept their sexuality a secret. In a world full of the much discrimination, only the strongest people could open themselves up to that kind of vulnerability. Olivia may be a strong detective who feared little when it came to crime, but now found herself facing a whole new demon when it cam to sexuality. She was afraid to open up. She was neither bothered, nor embarrassed…just terrified at how society would disown her. What would Elliot think? Society would be appalled, as would the nation. Look at what happened to Serena, she reminded herself sadly.
It was frustrating to be in such a weak position. Who would listen? Who would come to the aid of the people who were considered unworthy of god by the Bible? The answer, as painful as it was to admit, was no one. Society was in need of change – it would just take another fifty years before anything happened. And until then, the gays and lesbians and their allies would just be met with silence.
"Liv?" Olivia turned around. Elliot Stabler was standing at the top of the sairs that led to the roof. He was looking at her with concern. "Not thinking of jumping, were you?"
Anger flared up in her chest, but she forced herself to remain silent. If only he knew! Elliot realized instantly his mistake. He took a tentative step closer. "I'm sorry, Liv, that was completely out of line." He joined her in looking out over the building tops. "Will you talk to me, Liv? Please?"
Olivia said nothing, but reached into her pocket. She extracted a small slip of red paper and handed it to her partner to read.
Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbians, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today.
Elliot could feel tears welling in his eyes. Olivia was already crying. He looked at her, his eyes big and round, and then pulled her into a hug.
Satan is a liar, down in the mire,
But I can hear you, I hear the sound of your pain.
I can hear you, oh yeah,
I hear the words you don't say.
I can hear you, hear you.
I can hear you…can you hear me?
"You're one of voices, aren't you, Olivia?" She nodded, wiping her eyes. He held his partner there, and the two detectives were both brought back to the case from yesterday. Their rape victim had been one of the voices…and now hers would never be heard.
What are you going to do to end the silence?
Can you hear me?
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! Oh, and I will be updating Like Trees in November this weekend, probably Saturday.
