Jason and Marcus, meanwhile, were in the sky in their flying car, which hadn't been flown since the time they crashed it into the pool.

"Ah, it's been a while since we've flown the Foxmobile!" said Jason.

"Can't we sometimes call it the Jonesmobile?" asked Marcus.

"No."

The car started to fall. "You didn't forget to put gas in again, did you?" glared Marcus.

"No!" Jason said quickly. "...I think this is just shoddy workmanship."

Marcus looked at the ground, which was getting closer. "Forget it, let's keep this thing named after you."

They screamed and landed right on Eddy. What was left of the car skidded across the road, landing in the Doombuggy. "Hey, guys," said Jason.

"Hitchhikers!" said Toad. "Live ones!"

Marcus sat up. "Why's Toad here?"

Exhausted, Calvin pulled out a computer. "Read the story!"

Eddy got up from the wreckage just in time to see the Doombuggy disappear. He collapsed onto the road. "Not again! We've gotta figure out a way to catch those..."

Eddy looked up to see the Kankers standing over him. "Did our men fall and get hurt?" smiled Lee.

May started towards them. "Let's kiss them and make them feel better!"

"NOT COOL!" yelled the Eds.

Back in the Doombuggy, Jason and Marcus finished reading the story of what was going on so far. "You know, we could join you!" suggested Marcus.

"Yeah!" said Jason. "You need our intelligence!"

"You have gears in your hair," Hobbes pointed out.

"Hey!" snapped Jason. "Did I say we had good hair? No. I said we had intelligence."

"That's not getting gears out of your hair," said Toad.

"Stay out of this, omelette!" said Jason.

"I don't know why I'm even sticking with you guys!" cried Toad.

"Well, it's us or Eddy," reasoned Calvin.

"I'm totally with you," Toad said quickly.

"Let's just stop arguing and get to the talent show," said Hobbes. "I'm sure we'll all be fine once we're backstage."

Jason looked embarrassed. "Actually, it's lunchtime and there's a McDonald's right there..."

"Well, I could use a Fillet O' Fish," admitted Hobbes.

"Who's buying?" asked Calvin.

Toad ran through his pockets. "I've got a few gold coins on me, but they're only worth a few cents in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Really..." smiled Marcus. "I have an idea."

They were soon in McDonald's. Everyone sat outside. Calvin walked out with a huge platter of burgers. "Who knew the coins were worth thirty bucks in the real world? Too bad these employees are gonna catch on soon. Let's eat and get out of here before they do."

A few feet away, the Eds burst in. "Did they follow us!" panted Edd.

Eddy looked around nervously. "I don't know...check it out, Ed."

Ed looked outside. "It is clear, guys! Oh, look at that!" Ed saw a statue of Ronald McDonald on a bench. He jumped in its' lap. "I have been good this year! I would like the Evil Tim Treasury (Volume 5), and some gravy action figures!"

"I pity him, you know," said Edd.

"I pity US!" cried Eddy. "We're either chasing that mushroom or getting chased!"

Edd rolled his eyes. "Eddy, we've only been chasing Toad for a few hours. I really think we should give up right now and perhaps even join Calvin on his little journey."

"What are you saying!" yelled Eddy. "We can't give up! I say we rest a few minutes, maybe buy a round of shakes, and complain about the Kankers!"

Edd looked around. "Eddy, I hear piano music. Are you going to sing?"

Eddy: Yep. You can't live with 'em, you can live without 'em

There's somethin' sickening and cow-like about 'em

Us getting married? Well, that's just wrong

I hope that somethin' better comes along

Edd: Eddy, I don't want to hear your demeaning

Although it's true, the Kankers do leave me screaming

Ripping off yet another Muppet song...

Both: I hope that somethin' better comes along

(Ed walks in at this point)

Eddy: It's just so distressing, that I won't see Nazz undressing...
Edd: Eddy, I am just appalled!
Ed: Or the Evil Living Smoothies, some monsters from my movies...
Eddy: It's already been said, that Ed is brain-dead!
Edd: I don't mean to scare you, but what our life faces

Is another fun-filled day of scary Kanker chases

We'll never get away, they're big like gongs

All Three: I hope that somethin' better comes along

Eddy: Still, it's fun fantasizing

About something more "appetizing..."
Edd: Eddy, there you go again...

Eddy: But, for now we're escaping

Possible Kanker rapings (I'm sorry if anyone is offended by this line)

We'll keep running away

For the rest of our days!

Ed: Final verse!

Eddy: We're gonna live through it, though it's hard to do it

After a while, it's like there's nothing to it

Edd: Compared to us, that Rowlf can sure sing strong
Eddy: I hope that somethin' better...
Edd and Ed: I hope that somethin' better...Ed, Edd, and Eddy: I hope that somethin' better comes along!

Eddy: Beep bop bidder da dum dum bum bum bum!

Calvin walked by into the bathroom without noticing them...or the song. Eddy, however, noticed him. "Hey...that was Calvin!"

"So it was," Edd said calmly.

"That means Toad is around here!" Eddy said, frantically. "Double D, I have an idea!"

"Oh dear."

Jason, Marcus, Toad, and Hobbes were happily crawling around in the McDonald's Playplace structure. As they came to a stop to relax and hang out, Hobbes looked out one of the windows to see the Koopas storming McDonald's. "It's the Koopalings! I hope they're just hungry..."

"Probably," said Jason. "That Morton can really pack away those McNuggets."

Marcus looked at him suspiciously. "How do you know?"

"Do I ask you personal questions like that?"

Toad tried to hide, which was hard in the Playplace. "Not those guys! What if they want me to sing again!"

"I doubt even the Koopas would want that," said Hobbes.

"HEY!"

"Sorry," sighed Hobbes. "Seriously though, Toad has the right idea. We should get out of here before..."

Ludwig and Wendy Koopa suddenly crawled up the tunnel. "Hello, Toad!"

"This is what we get for sitting around and talking..." said Jason. They all ran for the slide, but found that it had been sealed up.

"That's real nice," grumbled Marcus.

Hobbes looked at the two Koopalings, who were closing in. "Well...there's only two of them! We can take them on, right?"

The Koopalings outside below started destroying the Playplace, which was easy, judging McDonald's standards. It crumbled to the ground, and everyone inside was quickly captured.

"Time to do a bit of experimenting!" laughed Ludwig.

"Wow, I wish the bystanders around here weren't so inept, so they'd actually NOTICE this!" said Jason as he was shoved into a Mario book held by Jr, transporting them to the Mushroom Kingdom.

"Half the time people just pass me like I'm some stuffed toy!" agreed Hobbes.

"No respect," said Marcus.

"Oh, why couldn't this be Mel Brooks capturing us!" moaned Toad. As they were all sent into Darkland, no one noticed that Eddy was standing by a Happy Meals display, laughing.


There's nothing like a good ol' McDonald's scene! (I don't know why, but it's fun to write about.) The "I Hope That Somethin' Better Comes Along" song was originally featured in "Calvin On the Run" but was removed and put here. And spoonlord15 , I've been thinking...I have no idea why Calvin was singing "Rainbow Connection" in the first place. Oh, and I don't think there's going to be a Miss Piggy. Since the core group is the women-hating Calvin, Jason, Marcus (and to an extent, Hobbes), I doubt there would be any romance. I suppose I could put in Toadette, but I don't know if she's Toad's cousin or something, and I frankly don't care for her.

I think I've been making Eddy too evil. As some reviews said, he's totally Doc Hopper, but maybe I'm pushing things. The weird part is how he's always friends with Calvin agian later, but he has the same odd relationship with Double D in the TV series as well.