Lonely London

AN: Okay…sometimes a story comes in my mind and won't come out unless I write it down. And publish it, so you can suffer the consequences. I will not be held responsible for your mental health after you read any of my stories…but hey, most of you seem to like them. Makes me wonder…

ANII: My apologies in advance for any British readers out there. I don't mean to offend any of you.

Spoilers: Alternate ending of Fair winds and following seas…Reted T just for some mild swearing.

Disclaimer: MINE! Except, well, they're not. Not really. My last name's not Bellisario.

Harm's POV

I hate London. Yes, I'm quite aware I've only been here for a couple of weeks, so that's way too early to be voicing this strong opinion, but I do really hate London. This thought occurs to me every now and then, mostly after a rainy, drowsy day, where the traffic gets stuck and the people are less than friendly. It's than that I realize I'm just not…British. How they can cope with this city is beyond me. Sometimes their stoic behavior just makes me feel like E.T. Or something like that.

I'm lonely, maybe that's it. Sure, Mattie will come over eventually, but I've decided it's better for her to revalidate in the USA since she's in no condition for a transcontinental flight yet. Gives me time to get my assigned new home ready too.

But as much as I miss my daughter-to-be, there's one person I miss even more. So much that even if this busy capital was the sunniest place on earth, I would still hate it for being so far away from her.

I don't want to recall the last conversation we had, Sarah and I, before we both went our separate ways. But the movie is stuck in my head and on constant repeat. Torturing me, making me wonder what I could have done differently. And not just this time, either.

No, I won't bother myself with all the times I could have said anything to turn the tide. No use crying over spoilt milk, right? Yeah, right.

She came to me that day, while I was almost done packing. We voiced our feelings for each other, both of us knowing there wouldn't be a second chance this time around. We were heading for two different ends of the world and when we got there, life would jut…take over, I guess.

But soon enough we were talking in circles again, neither of us willing to give up the career we both worked so hard to establish, the one thing in our lives that defined us, gave us some purpose, a place we belonged. Neither of us wanted to force the other one into giving things up either…

There was no getting around it. I'm Captain Harmon Rabb Jr., United States navy, she is Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie, United States Marine Corps. I figured I can not be simply 'Mr. Rabb', hell I don't think I would even listen to anybody calling me that. And Mac? She could never be satisfied with just being Mrs. Rabb either and I wouldn't want her to.

So yes, we called it quits. We kissed the other one goodbye, lingered in a hug, wiped the tears away from both our cheeks and…and I let her walk out of my apartment. Needless to say I got pissed drunk that night.

We promised we would call, mail, write, stay in touch, but both of us know that ultimately, it'll just add up to the hurt and we'll stop. We'll always have Bud and Harriet to keep the other one posted on out lives anyway. I hope she'll be happy, eventually. And I? I'll have Mattie. That'll have to do.

I hate London, for it's making a mockery out of my promotion. It's not an opportunity I can't refuse, it's a damn prison cell I can't escape from. It's an impossibly depressing life, even if it got me one step closer to becoming an Admiral.

But I'd gladly retire a midshipman if it means I can take the first flight out of here, back to the good old US of A, career be damned! Of course I can be just Mr. Rabb, what was I thinking? I want Sarah MacKenzie more than I could ever want my career…

I'm giving them my letter of resignation tomorrow.

With new resolve, I get out of the cab that took me to my apartment, handing over the pounds to the unflinching Cockney at the wheel. I almost get knocked over while crossing the street, since I'm still not used to looking at my right (stupid traffic rules here).

I'm so busy cursing my own petty six that I don't even spot the other taxi pulling over at the curb. That's why I fail to see the beautiful slim figure of my dreams getting out until I crash into her.

"Nice to see you too, Sailor."

"Sarah? What, How…?""

She puts her finger against my lips, silencing me.

"Just take me home, Harm."

As I pull her into my embrace I find myself laughing and crying at the same time, while the rain that just started pours on out heads. I don't mind. London is beautiful!

Okay, got that one off my chest…review please?