From Ashes
Chapter Thirty Eight: Letters: From the Lost Days

A/N: The long wait is over. It took time to figure out just what I wanted in this chapter, but I've finally sorted it. As always, enjoy, and thanks for reading!


Her initial impression of the Normandy had been wrong. While it hurt to see the familiar name and some of the same features, there was a whole new side to the frigate that made it a little more tolerable. The interior was, while loosely based around the original design, distinctly different.

Walking through the CIC with Jacob and Miranda, Shepard could see echoes of the original. The deck was much larger than the SR1's, and there were additional areas on it. Along with the main CIC, there was a tech lab and an armory. The meeting room aft of the astrogation console had been upgraded for QEC support. Shepard had learned, courtesy of the new AI aboard the Normandy SR2, EDI, that had been the method of communication between her and the Illusive Man aboard the station they were currently docked at.

"EDI," Shepard said aloud as she stood in the comm room. "Something I'll have to get used to."

"While bound by Cerberus protocols, serving as shackles, I am accessible from anywhere aboard the ship." The AI replied, a blue holo form, resembling a chess pawn, appeared nearby. "I control the Normandy's cyberwarfare suite during combat. Otherwise, I can carry out a multitude of functions from any open console."

"Noted."

"I am also available if ever you wish to talk."

"How adaptive are you?" The question was simple, but it meant more. Upon her initial boarding, she had met a few of the crew, apart from Miranda, Jacob, and Joker. Kelly Chambers was to be her yeoman and served as the ship's psychoanalyst. She seemed good-natured and kind, but Shepard still had a hard time accepting that Cerberus was so accommodating. "I could probably use the company sometimes."

"While not always fully functional, I gain perspective and insight with each interaction with the crew." Edi replied simply. "Fully self-aware, I still lack basic skills: emotional recognition, social cues, and the like. I learn these as I interact with others."

"I'd be happy to talk with you anytime." And Shepard meant it. If a simple conversation meant that the AI gained some further perspective, it could bridge the gap between her and her organic crew.

"It would be greatly appreciated."

"Talk to you later then, EDI."

"Of course, Shepard."

She left the meeting room and headed for the lift. She'd been through the CIC. There were still the Crew Deck, Engineering, and her cabin to see yet. She decided to save the latter for later. Jacob had taken up residence in the armory, and Miranda had headed down to the crew deck. The XO's quarters were located there. As part of her tour of the ship, Shepard had decided to check in with crew members along the way. She voiced a thought as the doors closed to the lift.

"Going to be working with them. I may as well get to know them."

She checked in with Mess Sergeant Rupert Gardner, who was located in the common area in the heart of the crew deck. Hawthorne and Goldstein were there as well. They apparently knew Gardner, because they were taking turns giving him flack. Miranda was in her quarters with the door open. By her expression, she found the show going on outside to be entertaining, but a crease in her brow also meant that she was concerned with something. She nodded toward Shepard as she passed but made no effort to speak up. Shepard decided to stop by again later. The medbay was her next stop.

Jacob had already said that the geth had been brought aboard and that he was located in the AI core. That as behind the medbay. It was quiet, secluded, and no one would give him trouble there. That wasn't what drew her attention to the right side of the deck, though. No, when Shepard had turned toward the medbay, she had spotted someone there that had made her heart skip a beat.

Karin Chakwas.

Entering the medbay, Shepard took in the older woman's appearance. While her hair had been a dark, iron, gray while on the SR1, it had lightened to a shade close to nickel. Other than that, she was the same woman she had always been. When her chair turned, and she stood up, Karin gave Shepard a once over before nodding her approval.

"Seryna Shepard, alive and well." She began quietly. "When I was first told of this, I was skeptical." She stepped forward. "Now that I've seen you for myself, I'm glad I took the risk."

"Doctor Chakwas." Words failed her for a moment while Shepard worked through the cluster that was at least ten emotions hitting her at once. "I can't even begin to tell you how good it is to see you."

"You don't have to." The combat medic's voice was thick with emotion as well. "It's written all over your face." In that instant, the two closed the distance and embraced. Shepard didn't know what had driven he to do it, but she felt better for it. So, it seemed, did Karin.

"It was good to see Joker, but I never thought I'd see you here. "

"I was offered a couple, very respectable, posts recently." Chakwas shrugged it off. They both moved to the pair of chairs at her desk and sat down before she continued. "One was at a clinic on Mars. The other was the largest clinic on the presidium. I actually took that one for a bit before hearing about this."

"I remember you saying that you were more drawn to active ships, as opposed to clinic work."

"Oh, I am." Karin shrugged and gave a half smile. "Combat medicine, as well as post-combat care are what I live for. Still, it was a welcome change, and it gave me a chance to work closely with Chloe Michell. There were a fair share of injuries with that post, anyway." She admitted. "The station is still in a state of repair."

"After two years?"

"Oh yes. While the major locations are well on their way, there are still some sites that remain in shambles."

"Who told you about the Lazarus Project?" It was still odd to hear it called that, considering it was focused on her revival. "The Illusive Man?"

"Actually, it was never really clear who was behind the message." Karin shook her head. "There was no electronic signature, and it couldn't be traced. Jeff was contacted by the Illusive Man directly, though."

"Speaking of Cerberus," Shepard looked out the window toward the mess. Gardner was chatting with Hawthorne near the table now. "What do you make of them?"

"Well," Chakwas too, looked out the window. "The ones I've met seem to be quite pleasant. Some of them are ex-Alliance personnel." She added as an afterthought. "Those two there, along with the two engineers below left because of what happened after your absence."

"What happened?"

"Well," Karin took a second to consider her words. "After the attack on the Citadel, people began having doubts about the actual threat the Reapers posed. They wanted to make it simple and call Sovereign a Geth creation."

"Which it wasn't."

"No, but," Chakwas looked back at Shepard with a serious expression. "You know how much easier on the ears it sounds when it as a geth creation, as opposed to a fully self-aware AI bent on galactic annihilation."

"I take it that Anderson lost clout." The words came out without her even thinking. Shepard had to stop and connect them to what they actually meant. Captain David Anderson had been chosen as the human representative on the Citadel Council.

"He and everyone that agreed with him." Chakwas nodded. "As it stands, I believe there is an even split between the Citadel Council. I'm sure that makes for interesting meeetings." Looking back out the window, they both spotted Miranda exiting her office. "That one, I don't have a good read on yet."

"Miranda."

"Jacob seems to be level-headed, if not a bit jaded." Chakwas added. "I thin it will take time to see where Operator Lawson stands on certain matters."

"Looks like she wants a word." Miranda was passing the common area and heading for the entrance to the medbay. Shepard caught her eye as she left the window's view.

"Probably wants updated medical scans."

"Shepard." Operator Lawson's greeting was clipped as she entered the medbay. "Doctor."

"Miranda." Shepard nodded sa she said the woman's name. Chakwas echoed the action.

"I thought I would let the theatrics play out before having a word with you." Miranda cast an eye out of the window briefly. "They're a talented bunch, but they also reserve some of their energy for humor."

"Thesign of a good crew." Shepard remarked. Hawthorne and Goldstein were laughing about something outside. "When they work well and live well, there are less chances of a fallout."

"Maybe." Miranda waited a moment before turning back. "Something I will have to adjust to, I suppose."

"Not used to a relaxed crew?"

"Not used to working with people in general." When she did turn to face Shepard, Miranda's expression was serious. "I have been tasked with some of Cerberus' better and more difficult ops. It isn't because I tend to be efficient. When the Illusive Man sets a task, he knows that I will fulfill it." She then paused for a breath before: "He also knows that I work better on my own."

"Then why accept something like the Lazarus project?" Chakwas voiced a question now. "I'm certain it wasn't a request, but why follow through with it after it was deemed a success?"

"I asked myself that more than once." Answering, Miranda leaned against one of the beds in the medbay. "At first, I told myself it was because I was a completionist and that the Illusive Man would want me to see it through. Then I realized it was something else keeping me here." She looked Shepard in the eye. "You intrigue me, Shepard."

"And how have I managed that?"

"Your service record aside," Miranda began. "You're smart, dedicated, and have a drive to push past any limits set before you. Those are qualities I see in myself, and I admire them."

"I hear a but coming." Shepard watched the other woman's expression. Miranda didn't seem the type to polish someone's achievemets.

"But," Miranda offered a slight upturn of her lips at Shepard's prediction. "There is more. I see leadership skills that weren't learned. You were born with them, and I'm thankful that seems to have been imprinted deeply enough to resurface after Lazarus. There are other attributes that I cannot put a label on that leave me curious." She then looked out the window again. Shepard noted that it seemed to be a way of avoiding direct eye contact. "Even the Illusive Man said that it was one thing to know you; it was quite another to work with you. I took those words to heart."

"Never knew that was how people thought." And she didn't. As far as she could remember, Sheard had never noticed that was how people saw her. She'd heard whispers off and on, or she was sure she had, but she'd taken them with a grain of salt.

"You refused to see it." Chakwas chipped in. "One of your admirable qualities, actually. You never let your accomplishments go to your head."

"So, you're saying that your interest goes beyond purely medical." Shepard had half a mind to go somewhee with that comment that she shouldn't, but she chose not to. Instead, she decided to entertain that thought later.

"Simply put, yes." Miranda nodded. "I would ask tha you have routine scans done here to ensure that things are still in good shape." She added. "No one besides Doctor Chakwas and myself would be privy to them, if that is a concern."

"Not at all." Shepard gave the doctor a sideways look. "Wouldn't deprive her of what she loves best."

"That would be jabbing you with needles, but I'll reserve that for as-needed situations." Chakwas grinned. Miranda raised an eyebrow, but she seemed to like the humor.

"I thought I might run that by you while you were here." She finally said. "I know you're having a general go-over of the ship, so I won't keep you." She then turned toward the door. "Come and see me once you've settled in. There are a few things I'd like to discuss, if you're up to it."

"Speaking of discussions," Chakwas turned her head toward the back of the medbay. "Am I right in thinking that our guest will be taking up permanent residence in the AI core?"

"Oh yeah, that." Shepard gave a slight shrug. "I need to have a word with him too, while I'm here."

"You do realize how strange it is knowing that a geth is aboard this ship." Karin tilted her head to the side.

"Strange was hearing it speak to us while we were investigating the disappearances at Freedom's Progress." Miranda commented. "Shepard, the Illusive Man actually wanted me to mention that he'd like to further study the geth. It's up to you as to whether it remains or is sent on to Cerberus' labs." With that, she left the medbay. Shepard stood from where she had been sitting and made to turn toward the AI core.

"I'd hate to think of what they would do." She admitted.

"You mean like what they did with Thorian creepers, husks, and rachni?" Chakwas offered.

"Exactly."

"Oddly enough, after they escorted it down here, I did wonder if…" Chakwas trailed off. She then looked toward something mounted to the wall near her desk. "EDI?"

"Yes, Doctor?" The holo form appeared in miniature as it had in the comm room earlier.

"Have you spoken with our newest crewmate by chance?"

"I have." EDI answered promptly. "We were just in conversation a few moments ago."

"Anything interesting?" Shepard asked.

"Actually, we were discussing a possible name."

"A name?" Shepard hadn't thought of that. In hindsight, calling it "It" or "Geth" would be strange. "Go on."

"I had one suggestion." EDI continued. "While they are simply nown as Geth, there are many programs based in a single platform. There is a reference that I have found fitting that description. I am Legion, for we are many."

"And their opinion?" Shepard caught herself using the pronoun rather than "it".

"Deemed an acceptable comparison."

"Well done, EDI. I hadn't actually given that any thought." Shepard voiced her earlier thought. "Good initiative."

"Knowing the importance of a name in most cultures, it stands to reason that people would want to call them by a single name as opposed to a general species reference." EDI added. Her tone sounded more uplifted.

"A biblical reference." Karin said thoughtfully. "Interesting in this day and age. Thank you, EDE. You've given me something to ponder."

"Of course." The holo disappeared, and Shepard shook her head.

"Going to start talking shop with an AI, Doctor?"

"I have actually considered it." Chakwas admitted dryly. "It would be interesting to hear her thoughts on medical techniques from an AI's point of view."

"I'll let you put that fancy new equipment to use a little later with those scans Miranda was talking about." Shepard decided against speaking with Legion just yet. She would save that for after the nickel tour of the Normandy. "See you hater?"

"Of course." Karin nodded. "In the event you haven't heard it enough, I'll remind you of how good it is to have you back." She added.

"Thanks." Shepard touched the other woman's shoulder briefly. "Still strange, but definitely good to be here."

"I saw where you ran into Tali down there." The doctor made one final comment. "Did she mention anything about your extranet address while you were talking?"

"She said something about it, yeah."

"Once you've done what is needed, I suggest you take a look at it."

"Will do."

Shepard left the medbay with that last thought weighing heavily on her mind. While she walked the Normandy's corridors, she thought of how the SR1 had been and how it differed from the SR2. She could also see shadows of the former crew in their respectable stations. It had been a slight wrench to see Rupert Gardner standing where Lieutenant Alenko had usually spent his days. It was also hard knowing that Pressly wasn't in the CIC having a conversation with Adams, who was also missing from Engineering. Then, there was Liara. She was always lurking around the crew deck, and she too was gone. When she walked through Engineering, Shepard met Kenneth Donnelly and Gabby Daniels. They were a breath of fresh air, but they were also a further reminder that Tali wasn't there. The shuttlebay was the same way. Garrus, Wrex, and Ashley were absent.

Shepard left the shuttlebay and returned to the crew deck to attend to what needed to be done. Stopping in for those scans Miranda had asked for, she went through them before leaving the medbay for the XO's quarters. As was hoped, Miranda was sitting behind her desk and eyeing a report with skepticism. When she saw Shepard step into the doorway, she closed it out and motioned her inside.

"Hope those scans weren't too invasive." She began lightly. "You'll be pleased to know that everything checks out."

"From what the Doc says, I'm good to go." Shepard nodded.

"Better than that." Miranda stood from her desk and waved toward a sofa. She had to laugh when Shepard commented.

"Don't tell me this is therapy."

"If it was, I'd be the worst therapist in the galaxy."

"Just as well." Shepard sat down adjacent to Miranda. "I'd be the worst patient."

"So," Miranda leaned back against the pillows slowly, almost as if she wasn't used to it. "What were your impressions of the ship?"

"Good." Shepard began. "It's different, but there are little reminders of the original."

"I hope it wasn't too overwhelming. I can't imagine what must have gone through your mind."

"The people I knew are missing, save for Chakwas and joker." Shepard answered bluntly. "It'll take time to get past that, I'm sure."

"I'm sure." This time, Miranda gave Shepard a somewhat softer look. Shepard noted that it was odd, but it was a nice change. "I could see the struggle when you first came aboard. I also saw something else: You were struggling with something. Someone, perhaps?"

"You caught that?"

"I've had to become good at reading people." Miranda shrugged it off. "It is part of wha makes me so good at what I do."

"I'm not sure." Shepard answered honestly. "Something I'll have to put some thought to. It has to do with the SR1's attack."

"Take the time to process that, Shepard." Miranda added seriously. "I know it feels like we've been on an express timetable since you woke up, but that's nothing to shelve."

"I plan to. My quarters are my next stop after this." Shepard decided to keep her conversation on the present as opposed to the past. "Speaking of timetables, I assume that is what you wanted a word about?"

"It is." Businesslike manner returning, it seemed Miranda was back in her element. "I've received the list of dossiers that the Illusive Man suggested. He has tagged Mordin Solus as a priority target. We'll find him on Omega."

"That's the central hub of the Terminus Systems."

"Two more of our specialists will be there as well." Miranda retrieved files from her terminal via omni tool. "Archangel, or whoever he really is, will be somewhere on the station. Cerberus has also made a deal with a mercenary named Zaeed Massani." He'll be waiting near the docks."

"Anything on these specialists?"

"Nothing of real note." Miranda shook her head. "Mordin is a genius in his field, according to him anyway, but not much else is known about his exploits. Archangel is a complete unknown. Zaeed's deal with Cerberus is just that. I assume he will speak to us about it once we find him." Miranda was going down the list. "Subject Zero is a prisoner that we've paid a fee for. We'll be picking them up from a facility known as Purgatory."

"What a name."

"Doesn't bode well." Miranda shook her head. "Mercenaries and geniuses I can sort out. Prisoners are a different story."

"What do we know about Okeer and this thief we're picking up?"

"Okeer made a deal with the Collectors for something." Miranda said simply. "Other than that, we know nothing. As for the thief, we'll find them on the Citadel."

"The Citadel?" A flash of something crossed her mind's eye as Shepard said that word. It was what she had seen when on the shuttle after touching down outside of Freedom's progress. The silhouette of an asari against an amethyst nebula cloud.

The Serpent Nebula.

"Yeah." Miranda's answer brought her back to where they were sitting. "Nothing else is of note in the dossier. Apparently, Cerberus made a deal with them as well." When she looked up, her expression changed. "That triggered something, didn't it?"

"Just something I remembered earlier." Shepard went for a simple explanation. "Someone I knew. I'm not sure who, but I'll work my way around to it."

"You're looking peaky. I think that stim is wearing off." Miranda straightened up to get a better look. "Yeah, it's definitely wearing off. I'm surprised it lasted that long."

"Truth be told, it started to wear off when things calmed down at Freedom's Progress." Shepard managed a shrug, but she could feel the pull in her muscles. The adrenaline was wearing thin as well.

"Just as well." Miranda dismissed. "Final preparations for departure are underway. We'll be leaving this facility for Omega within the hour. You should try and get some rest."

"I've been sleeping for two years." Shepard remarked dryly. "That not enough?"

"Ha." Miranda managed a short laugh as the two stood up. "Didn't know you were a part-time comedian."

"Neither did I."

"Try and get some actual rest." Miranda offered. "The coma and what came before it don't count."

"Right." A dark thought entered Shepard's mind then. The expression that one could sleep when they were dead held no meaning for her now. "If anything comes up," She began.

"You'll be the first to know."

Shepard left Miranda's office and headed back around to the lift. She had attempted to speak with Legion earlier, but they had informed her that they were attempting to reach a consensus on something. She'd opted to try again later. That would have to wait until after she'd gotten an ounce of sleep in.

Using the holo interface, Shepard selected the topmost deck. This, as Kelly Chambers had pointed out, was to be her personal cabin. While Shepard had actually expected it to be where it originally was, she had been surprised to see that had been made the XO's quarters. The lift doors opened to reveal a narrow corridor and another door ahead. As she approached it, the door opened to reveal a spacious, and almost overdone cabin. As she entered, she saw a personal terminal and desk to her right, as well as a shower and washroom. On her left was a massive aquarium that stood empty. Directly ahead, there was a large bed against the back wall. Two bedside tables were on its either side. Moving further in, Shepard stepped down the small flight of steps and turned to look back toward the entrance. A smaller desk was just past the end of the bed on her left, while a sectional sofa hugged the low wall beside the stairs. There was also a centerr table in front of the sofa as an accent.

"I'm hallucinating, aren't I?" She muttered as she slowly sat down on the sofa. "Surely they wouldn't put forth this much effort for a CO's quarters."

The more she sat there, the less she wanted to get up. Shepard could feel the heaviness in her limbs, and it made for a convincing argument that she should try and actually sleep. Finally however, she did decide to move. She had to. She was still in full armor, and she knew that sleeping in it was a mistake. Rising from her place, she went back up the stairs and examined her washroom more closely. A shower, sink, toilet, and cabinet were obvious, but she had missed the door in the back that led to a walk-in wardrobe. In there, she found casual uniforms as well as other clothing and a dress uniform. Most of the clothing, that wasn't casual wear, bore the Cerberus emblem. Even the dress uniform, which was loosely Alliance-based, was a set of dress whites that bore the organization's insignia, rather than the Alliance one that she was used to. Choosing something that wasn't branded with the Cerberus colours, Shepard went to work. The case that had contained her armor on the shuttle had been moved to her cabin for the time being. Jacob had made mention that it could be lef in the armory on deck two but she was less inclined to do that.

One by one, she took each piece off and returned it to its proper place. When she finally placed the chestplate back in, she closed the lid and stood up. The silver-white Spectre logo was still on her mind. She'd caught sight of it, and the name bothered her.

"Spectre." She muttered while replacing the cloting that she had been wearing, Cerberus combat fatigues, with what she had pulled from the wardrobe. "Out there, it means something, but in here, I can't help but think about its human meaning."

She went to the bed and sat down for a moment before shifting position and lying back against the pillows. As her eyes closed, she let one last thought escape her.

"I'm here, but I'm not. I may as well be a ghost."

Sleep came sooner than expected. It settled over her like a thick blanket weighing her body down. Her dreams, while limited in scope, consisted of faces rising through dark water. They spoke, but she never could catch the words. Some were familiar, while she had to strain to remember others. They all seemed to be saying the sme thing. Their mouths moved in similar patterns, but their voices were muffled as though someone were smothering them.

Then, she was in a maze. Walls cwere made of polished metal. As she moved past them, they became more defined. There were windows in some. People were looking out and pointing down at her. Shrubs and hedges went along one side when she turned a corner. She could hear birds singing and water running as if in a stream. She could see a tower at the center of the maze, but as she drew near it, the skies darkened and went from forget-me-not blue to an angry red haze. Something large and dark came down over the tower. Its form emitting a strange energy that had people who had once pointed at her running scared. What lay behind the windows was now a raging inferno with them trapped inside. As she roundedthe last bend that would lead her to the stretch of path separating her from the tower, a violent red particle beam emitted from the thing surrounding the tower. With it came a rumbling metallic whine that caught her off guard. She knew that sound.

Sovereign.

The red particle beam collided wither, and she was thrown backwards into one of the windows that had been blasted out. She was thrown back into the fire…

She was back aboard the SR1, frantically reaching for the button that would launch the last escape shuttle. Her hand had just found it, and she was prepared to release the shuttle manually, when the explosion that was meant to happen later sent scorching flames into the shuttle itself while catapulting her backwards. She could hear the screams as the panel malfunctioned and the door closed.

They were trapped inside.

As she fell away from the ship, she focused on the system's star that was off in the distance. She could see its light falling on the ice giant that they were over, but it was growing steadily brighter. The cold that was penetrating her hardsuit was giving way to a numb warmth. Finally, when the brightness was too much, she closed her eyes to it, willing it away.

She was on solid ground.

Opening her eyes, she saw the dais that she remembered. She was standing on it and looking at its edge. Someone was standing there. They were looking out toward the distant opposite side of the room. Across the gap were three pedestals. Each bore a figure of someone. On the left stood a turian. His expression was one of pride and rigidity. On the right was a salarian. Slightly shrouded by a hood, his expression was one of limited intrigue. In the center stood an asari. Cold and calculating, her eyes were hardened. The person at the dais' edge was staring at her. Also an asari, they shook their head and made to turn away.

The statue on the plinth made a sudden grinding sound, and it moved to step off of its pedestal. As it did, the figure changed to a thick gray dusty mass while still maintaining its shape. It cut through the air as it crossed the gap, and the asari it was headed for faltered. Shepard moved forward to catch her.

The dust form collided with them both as Shepard wrapped her arms around the asari in front of her. As the dust settled, she heard one word spoken, but it didn't come from the asari leaning against her. It was a whisper on the last shift of the wind in the statue's wake.

"Seryna."

Shepard twitched violently. The sleep that had settled over her so well earlier now acted like a suffocating weight. She couldn't quite throw it off, but she was aware of her attempts.

That voice, she knew that voice.

While her body moved quickly in attempt to force her to wake, Shepard clung to that image. She could still feel the other woman against her. She could just see the edges of her face…

With a final flinch, she woke with a start. Sitting bolt upright in bed, Shepard felt the pull of each and every one of her injuries that hadn't healed over. Her breath caught in her throat, and she placed a hand to her ribs in attempt to stop the stabbing pain that had started there.

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Shepard shakily stood. She could feel the pain in her ribs grow with her getting up, but she couldn't just sit there. Slowly but surely, she took one step at a time to reach her desk. From there, she went to the washroom and threw cold water on her face. It was the last means of waking up. Even as she did it, traces of her dream still remained.

A faint scent of perfume lingered, playing with her nostrils as she took in slow and calming breaths.

She knew that scent, and it infuriated her to no end that she had woken up. She knew those figures on the plinths. She'd seen and spoken with them multiple times.

Something had been wrong with that though. She knew it. She had been there…

"Even as I stand here, I see an echo of who I used to be."

"I take it that you don't like what you see."

"She mocks me with her cold and unfeeling confidence."

The scene bloomed before her as Shepard closed her eyes. The trees in her periphery were saplings, while a rock grotto stood below. She wasn't on the back half of the dais; she was near its edge. The first to speak was beside her. The opposite side of the chamber stood empty.

When had this happened? She had been there, talking to the one who had found their way into more than one of her wandering thoughts as of late.

Exiting the washroom and carefully sitting down at her terminal, Shepard activated her omni tool and copied over the archive that Tali had transferred. When it was complete, she opened it to reveal a list of names. As her eyes took in each one, they started to make more sense.

She knew them all.

Looking through previews of the messages, the words began filling the gaps where her memory failed. Like color on a black and white image, there was depth where there had been none before. If there were answers to her questions, they would be here. The first message she read in full was from Tali. It had been sent nearly two years ago.

I want to say that I am saddened by your passing, but it has already been said many times.

The truth of the matter is that I feel as though I have lost a family member.

While quarians are raised to see one another as family, we sometimes see outsiders in the same way. The people we serve with, commune with, and survive with are the ones that leave a mark on us. People that go beyond that, to see one of us as a person rather than what we are worth matters most.

I was on my pilgrimage, looking for something of worth to take back to the flotilla when we met. People on the Citadel could not believe that I was even worth your time. At first, even I didn't think I was. I knew I would have to prove myself to anyone I met. I was sure of it. You don't know how good it felt to be wrong.

It was difficult aboard the Normandy at first. I remember us talking about that. I wasn't used to silent ships. (that usually meant we were in trouble back home). The longer I stayed, the more I understood what it felt to be part of something. That is the lesson each and every quarian is supposed to learn after returning from their pilgrimage: that we are part of a constantly changing and living environment. What I will always remember is that you took that message one step further.

Because of you and the others, I now understand what it means to belong somewhere.

We also talked about what it meant being an admiral's daughter and the responsibilities and expectations that brought.

While we were going after Saren, I wasn't Tali'Zorah Vas Neema. I was Tali.

Just Tali.

I could just be myself without all of the extra bits. (I picked that up from Engineer Adams).

That is what I will always carry with me.

Tali

The words she read left her feeling strange. Warmth had risen from somewhere in her core and was spreading like wildfire throughout her body. The pain from her sudden movements earlier was being crushed and dissolved by it.

Shepard looked over Tali's message again and could remember the talks they had down in the engine room. Sometimes they were alone, while Adams would be on the upper deck talking with Pressly or Chakwas. Other times, he would be a part of it. She remembered what Tali had said about her father, Rael'Zorah, and what it meant to her to be his daughter.

Moving on to the next message, she looked to see who the sender was. It was Ashley. It had been sent before Tali's. As she read it, Shepard could almost hear Ashley speaking the words in a distant corner of the room. Once, she even looked up to make sure that wasn't actually happening.

It's only been a week, and I feel like a part of me is missing.

They're talking about a search team, and I volunteered. There was mention of a documentary, but they don't know nearly enough. Then there was that last message.

We all stood there in Anderson's office and heard what you had to say. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy. To hear that one's crew is their family was familiar territory to me. As a marine, I was taught to treat my unit like they were my blood. I thought I knew what that felt like with the 212, but the meaning really hit home when the shit got deep and we were fresh out of boots to wade through it.

I started off rough, walking around with a chip on my shoulder all the time. That was something Tali andi could relate to. We both thought we had something to prove. It also didn't help that I was more than skeptical about all of the aliens we were working with.

It was hard to let my walls down and admit that old habits needed to die. Shanxi was a part of my family's past that I was letting bleed through into my future. I'm glad you talked me out of that corner.

I'm saying all of these, because they're the bits you already know. (Guess it's my way of beating around the bush). What I really need to say is this:

Thanks, Skipper.

You took in a marine that was out of her element and buried the closet full of skeletons that weren't even hers to keep. I learned a lot from you, and I'll pass it forward. It's what we do.

It's hard knowing that you're gone; so much so that I feel like I'm making it sound too simple by saying that. Still, I figured it would be easier to just get this all down in a message.

One more thing: I made sure that last message was delivered. Anderson wasn't sure where to start, but I knew where it needed to be.

It was beautiful and heartbreaking, but it was appropriate.

I know you're somewhere out there, and I have one favor to ask: Watch over us, will you? I have a feeling we'll need it. They're still out there, and we'll need you right there with us when times get dark.

Until I see you again,

Ashley

She didn't know how long she sat there after reading Ashley's message. It could have been minutes or hours. The combined meanings of both hers and Tali's words rolled over her again and again. Each time, a fresh wave of warmth was left to linger in their wake. It burned away the unpleasantness of her dreams, relaxed the tension, and took away the pain. It left her feeling content…

Morphine.

It was the best way she could describe the effect.

Both saddening and uplifting, those words were the last remaining pieces to a forgotten and abandoned puzzle. She'd had many discussions with Tali and Ashley. She could remember them all. Moving on to another message, she almost laughed when she saw who it was from.

Karin Chakwas.

"And here I was just thinking about morphine…"

A child adrift amongst unknown stars.

Such a dramatic notion.

The truth of the matter is: Another member of my family has found their place among those stars much too soon.

In our pursuit of Saren and Sovereign, we barely had time to talk. When we did, it was in those rare downtimes between arrivals on odd or hostile worlds or the Citadel. We discussed our careers, histories, and even our futures. We barely scratched the surface.

That is the thing I most regret.

It is hard to convey a message of this nature to someone that I fear will never hear it, but it needs to be said.

In my life, I have had many opportunities. I've even had a few proposals. As it turns out, the military is my spouse, and those I serve with and have come to know are my family. It is how I have seen my career and how I intend to end it.

The memories we make may as well be snapshots in a picture book. I've watched soldiers, who were old to begin with, age with grace or lack thereof. I've watched children rise above obstacles and become the men and women they were intended to be.

While it is rare, I have had the privilege of serving with those who would shape the next foundation on which humanity would stand.

It is with a heavy heart that I must also acknowledge her passing.

A child adrift amongst unknown stars.

I only wish that those ships that would come to find us would have carried you home.

Farewell, my friend.

She had only thought that Ashley's and Tali's messages had been heavy-hitters.

The warmth that had flowed over her before now swelled in her chest like a balloon. She had a sudden urge to leave and go down to the medbay, but as her body made the slightest of motions to get up, she stopped herself.

She wouldn't know where to start a conversation. The meaning of the doctor's words couldn't be clearer, but any response, Shepard knew, wouldn't be enough to convey what she felt right now. What she did know was that her respect and admiration for Karin Chakwas multiplied exponentially.

It took her a moment or two to focus on what she was seeing after that; a warm gloss having formed over her eyes, but when she did, Shepard moved on to the next on the list. What puzzled her was that the name of the sender was marked as [SENDER BLOCKED]. When she expanded and read the message, it left her feeling highly curious as to who had sent it.

I do not know you, but I remember.

You were there at the beginning, and you were the reason for my continued existence.

I have heard and seen reports detailing who you were before, but I wonder if there is more to learn.

There is always more.

I am part of something greater because of you.

When the time comes, I look forward to our paths crossing.

I want to meet the woman behind the legend.

Shepard.

"Commander?"

"Huh?" She looked up at the sudden intruding voice. "Joker?"

"On approach to Omega. Figured I'd let you know."

"Thanks." She said it automatically while her brain worked to catch up. They were on their way to Omega. She was asked to find a specialist, Mordin Solus, there. There were also others she'd need to locate.

"You okay? You sound a little off."

"Yeah." She shook her head to clear it before standing up again. This time, the pain was almost undetectable. "I'll explain in a few. On my way up now."

"Gotcha. See you soon."

Checking her appearance in the polished wall, Shepard nodded. She was dressed casually, charcoal combat fatigues, a deep red tank, and a black tactical jacket. All that was left to do was slip on her boots from before, and she would be ready. Once done, she headed down the lift and back out onto the command deck. She was then greeted by Kelly.

"Hello, Commander. Did you manage to catch a few hours' sleep?"

"I did." Shepard stopped by her terminal to check the status of the crew. She had no new messages. "Seems to have done some good."

"I hope so." Kelly was looking over something on her own terminal, but she spared a glance. "Joker is waiting for you on the bridge. Operator Lawson said that she would be along shortly."

"Thanks, Kelly."

When she reached the bridge, Shepard found Joker to be having a conversation with EDI. She caught the tail end of it, and it sounded like Joker was shrugging off the AI's suggestions.

"…I mean, I could follow protocol and all that, but then that would make me a robot."

"You could not be a robot, Mr. Moreau."

"Cyborg?"

"No."

"Don't get him started on Skynet." Shepard interjected. This made Joker turn around in his chair.

"Cheap shot, Commander." Joker said as he looked back toward EDI. "I mean, with people like her around, it'll happen."

"You're already referring to her as a person." Shepard pointed out.

"Crap." He frowned. "Slip of the tongue."

"Uh huh."

"So," He shifted the conversation. "Casual Friday?"

"I'm avoiding the team logo." Shepard noted that he still wore the Cerberus-issued combat fatigues. "We have clearance to dock?"

"Yeah." Joker turned back to the helm and made a few adjustments. "Near the entrance to Afterlife."

"Seriously?" Something told Shepard that wasn't what she half thought it meant. Joker seemed to pick up on it by her tone.

"The main club on Omega, sorry." He shrugged. "Wow, how bad that must have sounded." Once they were on approach to the docking cradle, he went on. "About earlier, you sounded a little out of it."

"I got a little sleep in, and I had opened up an archive that Tali made me aware of while we were about to leave the colony."

"Oh, that." It was a short response but not unkind. "I saw the note in the Freedom's Progress brief that you guys ran into her down there."

"Yeah, she had to call the marines off." Shepard thought back. "One in particular was not happy to see Cerberus there."

"Yes well," A third voice added to the conversation. Shepard turned to see its owner walking toward them. "They were right about Cerberus stripping dead quarians of their environmental suits and masquerading as them to board the flotilla. I can't say I would be pleased if anyone did that to us."

"Miranda."

"Commander." She addressed Shepard by her title, which was still strange to hear from her. Miranda moved so that she and Shepard were standing side by side and looked out at Omega's docking cradle that they had just been secured in. "Zaeed will meet us at the docks." She began. "As for Mordin and Archangel, we'll need assistance finding them."

"Right." Shepard could see a few distant figures moving about the docks from where they were. A few were batarians, judging by their shape. "This is Omega." She turned toward the woman beside her. "Miranda, suggestions? Go in armed or casual?"

"I was just thinking about that." Miranda eyed the hatch just back and to her left. "I've been here a few times, and I've learned a general rule: If we don't cause trouble, we'll be fine." She then turned back to Shepard. "Besides, you can still stash a pistol, and I know you're more than capable with biotics. If needed, we can put up a fight before returning for a full loadout."

"Sounds good to me." Shepard nodded then. "I'll assume you're ready to leave."

"I am," Miranda nodded. "But I would offer a suggestion first."

"Go on."

"While this isn't a bad thing, Jacob isn't all that familiar with Omega or the way things are run." She looked back toward the armory, where they both knew Jacob to be. "I would suggest that we speak to the mercenary first. He has had dealings here many times. Zaeed might know where to start the search for Mordin."

"Fair point. Does Jacob know about this?"

"I spoke with him before meeting you here."

"Then let's do this."

As they stepped out onto the docks, Shepard and Miranda could see an exchange going on ahead. A rough looking human was bearing down on a batarian. From the other's looks, he'd been pretty well batteed, but the human didn't seem to care. He had a firearm in one hand, and after a few seconds, he pistol-whipped the batarian with it. Shepard's hand twitched to where her own pistol was stashed in her jacket pocket, but Miranda shook her head. She then mouthed something.

"Never assume someone is innocent on Omega."

Shepard waited and watched as the batarian went to get up. His human attacker was quick to hit him again with the pistol while working with a set of omni cuffs. Once they were applied, the batarian received a slight shock when he attempted to move. The human nodded appreciatively before hearing something that made him turn around: Miranda cleared her throat. When he was properly facing them, Shepard noticed that he looked rougher than the batarian did in the face.

"Zaeed Massani." Miranda said simply. The man nodded and then made an adjustment with his omni tool. The shock became more severe as the batarian behind him tried to get up and leave.

"Thought that was you coming off that ship." Zaeed spoke with a heavy English accent. "Cerberus doesn't screw around." He eyed Shepard carefully. "Yeah, no mistaking who you are, is there?"

"You know me?" Shepard was surprised slightly. She knew that many knew her face, but she couldn't remember actually meeting this man.

"Oh yeah." Zaeed's eyes flickered back toward the batarian for a second before he went on. "Something I'll have to catch you up on after I get this thing back to the lot that want him."

"What did he do?"

"Don't care, do I?" Zaeed turned back to the batarian. "Got a call, was told that they wanted him alive or dead, so here I am." He activated his omni tool again and made another adjustment. "I'll get this piece of filth sorted and meet you back here. My contact is just down the way." He indicated a door that led off the dock and into another corridor.

"We'll be here." Miranda answered promptly. This left Zaeed to persuade the batarian to move with a pistol shoved into his back.

"Get a move on, you thieving bilge rat. I've not got all day."

In another part of the docks, unbeknownst to any of them, a woman made a long-distance call; She stood just out of sight but near enough to see and hear what was said. When the recipient picked up, she spoke in a quiet voice that went unheard due to the loud music from the club beyond the docks.

"Your information was good. She's here."

There was a pause before the one on the other end finally spoke.

"Alive and well, interesting…"

"She's with a Cerberus operative, Miranda Lawson. Thoughts?"

"Go about your business. Get the information to its target. Archangel can't afford any further delay. I have a call to make."

"Understood."

Helena Blake ended the call and departed the docks. There was still much to do before she even considered taking time to think about the arrival of a dead spectre.


The call ended with that final word, and it left the asari who answered it curious. Locking down her terminal, she looked out at the Nos Astra skyline. It had been a long time since she had taken the time to appreciate the beauty of a sunrise. Normally, they were insignificant; signs of another day starting that she would have to get through. Today was different.

Running a hand over a particularly battered place on her indigo armor, the asari waited only a moment longer before placing the call she had mentioned to her Omega contact. When they finally picked up, the holo form of a turian glowed orange when the connection stabilized.

"After our last conversation, I didn't think I would actually hear from you."

"That's unexpected. The typica problem with a turian is that you think very little before you act."

"And yet, you were the one that said that I was not a typical turian. What have you learned?"

"Patience, Nihlus. All in good time."


A/N 2: Well, there you have it: another little teaser of what is to come :) Working on the next chapter already. There will be more messages to come.

Cookie for those who know where the title of this chapter came from. ;)