Jordan did make herself at home at Woody's place. That, of course, was after she and Alice came to a working relationship on the concept of personal space. Saying the dog was a little hyper was an understatement. Jordan felt like she was being confused with The Second Coming. Thank God Woody didn't have much worth stealing.
She used the shower and commandeered a clean t-shirt and running shorts from Woody's closet. She tried to enjoy some piece and quiet down by the dock until the mosquitoes tried to carry her and Alice away.
She ambled around the four room house verifying her earlier theory that you could run laps between the rooms...if you didn't mind that they were very tiny laps. She settled in the tiny spare room that Woody had obviously turned into an office.
The room was further dwarfed by an old metal desk that looked like he had rescued from a dumpster some place. The walls were covered with the same pictures and citations she remembered from his office at the 19th. Remembering Manning's words about Woody being a little gung-ho she could see why he chose not to put his I-love-me wall up in the office he shared with the man.
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a picture of herself next to the computer monitor. She had never seen before. In the picture she was standing in the hallway, outside her office, laughing at something or someone just outside the range of the camera.
By the candid nature of the shot, she could tell that whoever took it caught her totally unaware. She recognized the top she had on. She'd ruined it by accidentally splashing some chemicals on it a few years ago. The photo had to be at least four years old. Physically she hadn't changed much...maybe a few more lines and her hair longer. Yet, she was so different back then. Ironic as it sounds, Jordan had to admit she, herself, was really quite naive in so many ways.
Would things be different if she hadn't opened up her heart? Would she have allowed herself to have a relationship with JD...that ended up with her stealing a night with Woody at the Lucy Carver Inn...that led to the baby she'd never hold in her arms.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
Just like she didn't think she knew this new Woody anymore, she didn't recognize the woman in the photo. When was the last time she truly laughed like that? Was it was JD...or before? When had her own life turned into a never ending cycle of getting up going to work, going home and going to bed...just to wake up and do it all over again?
Woody escaped his life to save his sanity. Jordan never claimed to have one to start with.
Did he have the right idea? Was leaving Boston behind the best thing? She still had to ask herself if it was for the better.
It hurt that he left. She wasn't afraid to admit that to herself...even after everything that had happened...or more to the fact didn't happen between the two of them.
Could she take some of the blame for not being there when he needed her the most? Yes, he pushed her away...but how many times had she been guilty of the exact same thing? She watched him spiral out of control and barely lifted a finger in support. She just told him to get some help.
He did. And ended up in the arms of the very person she told him to see.
Yes, he should have been more of a man. Yes, he should have been more mature...but she wasn't lily-white herself.
She pulled the picture off the wall and looked at it closer. The dog ears edges showed that he's probably hauled it around with him since it was taken she flipped it over and saw Nigel's steady pen...
'You see she did like the joke about the diary farmer and the nun. Even though I still say you messed up the punchline horribly.'
Jordan smiled, not believing she remembered that God awful joke. The only thing that saved it was the expression that Woody got on his face when he saw it had bombed. She remembered laughing about it for the rest of the day.
She also remembered thinking that if Woody hadn't bounced into her life like he had, she would have totally forgot what it was to laugh at lame joke and just plain enjoy life.
What happened to that Farmboy?
She gently hung the photo back up and traced her finger over that image there and changed the question...
What happened to the glimmer of promise in that woman in the picture?
As if she could sense her new friend's heartache, Alice gave up her spot under the desk and put her head in Jordan's lap, nudging her hand.
"Is this where you are supposed to be a good listener...as long as your belly gets rubbed?"
Alice didn't seem to notice anything other than Jordan scratching her ears.
Jordan told her she was cute...for a dog that is. She said that her master had done a good job in raising her. Jordan wondered out loud if maybe he would have been a good father. Her baby would have been eight months old if it had survived.
Jordan asked Alice about what milestones they would have passed. What would their favorite toys be; what would those first giggles be like...What it would have been like to hear her child say Mama for the first time...
Alice fell to the ground in a pile of goo and flipped over on her back, prompting Jordan to climb down to the floor to scratch the pup's belly.
She continued her onesided conversation about her child, confiding in Alice that she had hoped the baby would have inherited the sunny outlook Woody had on life before the shooting. She secretly wished for it to have Woody's blue eyes also...but knew that she'd never be able to hide the fact of the baby's paternity if it did.
Jordan was in mid sentence when she heard Woody cleared his throat. Alice leaped up with a pile of wiggles hoping her beloved master didn't notice she was the world's worst guard dog.
"I thought you'd be asleep by now," Woody said holding his hand out. He had to smile. His old Kewaunee County Sheriff's Annual 10K Run T-shirt never looked so good.
She let him help her off the floor. "I didn't think you'd be back until morning."
He scraped his hand down his face. Jordan could make out the faint traces of his partner's blood in the cuticles of his finger nails. There may have not been much love between the two, but losing any co-worker was tough...especially like that.
"The sheriff wanted to talk to Manning's family personally before this hit the papers in Savannah. There was really not much for us to do tonight."
Jordan could read between the lines. With emotions so high the sheriff wanted his people to stand down for a few hours. She didn't envy the next few days for the department. Something like this was going to be a high hurtle to get over in such a small close knit community.
Woody's voice sounded as tired as he looked. "Why don't you get some sleep Jordan I'm going to take a shower..."
Alice finished prancing around her master to just be ignored and searched out her own bed on the floor in the living room. Woody pulled and extra blanket out of the closet and told Jordan, once again, to use his bed. They were both too tired to argue.
Woody loitered in the doorway of his bedroom, with the blanket in his arms, looking like he wanted to say something. Jordan waited patiently.
"What you were saying earlier...about the baby...looking like me..."
"I wouldn't have kept you from the baby if you wanted to be part of its life..."
Woody gave her a weak smile. "Thank you...but I meant, did you know, do they tell you anything about the baby...like whether we had a boy or a girl..."
It was Jordan's turn to look away. A year ago her baby was gone...and so was its father. They asked her if she wanted to see the Polaroids they had taken of tiny one and half pound fetus. They asked if she wanted to give it a name...have a memorial. She was in too much pain to even think past the fact that her soul was hollow.
Garret took care of the remains and Howard took care of the rest. Since the baby wasn't legally considered viable there was no death certificate, nor autopsy. The fetal demise report and the pictures that some sympathetic OR nurse had taken were all that was left...and those were locked up in Howard desk for, if and when, she was ready to see them.
"I never asked...," she said softly, almost apologetically.
"...oh, okay." he nodded in the same hushed tone.
With a whispered 'good night' Jordan shut the door leaving Woody with one more tragedy of that long ago day to deal with.
The next morning Jordan woke to an empty house, a note on the refrigerator, and her SUV sitting out in the drive.
The team from the State Crime Lab didn't need your vehicle. I know you are probably anxious to get back to Boston. They should be done with everything else by mid morning. I left a box of doughnuts on top of the fridge. Any lower and Ally would help herself. Woody
"... 'anxious to get back to Boston'" she repeated to herself . Was she?
There was nothing left for her to do here and a ton of work for her to do there. If she left by midmorning she could be back in Boston by sun-up. She had less than three weeks before Garret would be gone and Slokum would be taking over. She was used to his professional expectations she'd been gearing herself up since they found out he was coming back.
Boston was her world. It was where she was comfortable; where she was needed; where she didn't need to cry herself to sleep like she did last night.
She called Garret and told him when to expect her. She was done here.
Woody personally collected Jordan's belongings from the motel and had them on the portico of the office when she pulled up. Like the night she first rolled in, she gave him a two fingered wave and a cockeyed smile.
Jordan sat in the driver's seat while Woody and Rogers loaded everything in the back. She smiled her thanks to the young officer and waited for Woody so she could say her own goodbyes to him.
"I guess this is it," she smiled.
"I guess it is," he replied.
"About our talk...we never got to finish it..."
Woody shaded his eyes with the arch of his hand and watched a gull float effortlessly on the little breeze that filtered through the trees. It was easier to watch the damn bird then look at Jordan's face knowing what he had to say would hurt her.
"I'm sorry I left you like that Jordan and not a day goes by that I don't think of you and all the friends I left behind...but I'm not sorry I left Boston."
She reached out for his hand and wove her fingers through it. "I know and I can't hold it against you. Not anymore. Outside of the whole chimichanga thing I used to think that maybe you'd grow into Boston. I didn't think it would chew you alive. I figured that was my job," she added with a little laugh. "I see now that you are meant for a small town. I won't lie and say I don't miss you...but I understand."
"Thank you Jordan. You don't know how much that means to me."
Jordan's lips twisted up on a small grin. She pulled his hand until he leaned down so she could kiss his cheek. "I'll so you around cowboy."
"You know were to find me," he smiled back warmly.
"Don't tempt me," she laughed softly. "With Garret leaving in a few weeks and Slocum coming in I think I'll be digging in to me five years of unused vacation time quite liberally."
"Come back," he teased. "By them I'll have the boat running and we can do some water skiing..."
Jordan laughed at him like he was half crazy. "You just want to see me in a bathing suit."
"You can't blame me for trying," he smirked.
"Take care of yourself..."
Woody lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "Good bye Jordan."
As she drove away Woody waved until she was out of sight. Over the last year many of his fears and nightmares had faded. The bogey man was no longer just around the corner and he felt like he could stand on his own two feet again... But some dreams never go away. Just like the dream he had of a future with Jordan in it. The odds were against them from the beginning. He'd come to accept that fact. No matter where life led them seeing her again, holding her in his arms...even ever so slightly were memories he'd keep inside for the rest of his life...
