Sorry!
It's been a busy week. I have exams and quizzes coming up soon, again. I'll make it up by uploading a SHORT chapter or two of "Meet the Team" some time during Sunday.
I'll be honest, this chapter is a bit dull. More of a filler if you ask me.
Pardon my grammar.
Monty Python - Firing Squad
"Wonder what we'll be watching this time." Emerald stretched her entire body before sitting down on her comfy seat.
Mercury gestured to the screen starting up. "Well, you'll soon find out."
The scene starts in the interior of a prison cell. Pither, a goofy-looking man wearing glasses and a red beanie with white fluff on the top of his hat. He was stuck in his cell writing in his diary.
"Good Oum's! Look at that horrible outfit and hat he's wearing." Coco cringed.
"Coco…" Fox rolled his white eyes. "What did I say about being fashionably judgmental?"
"Surely this doesn't count." She flailed her arms dramatically at the goofy man on-screen. "Just look at him!"
"April 26th. Thrown into Russian cell. Severely damaged my Mars bar. Shall I ever see Bude Bus station again? Shall I ever..." Two guards enter the cell and grabbed him by the arms, lifting him out of the leather woven benched. "Oh, excuse me."
Pither tossed his diary into the cell as the guards lead him away to the execution ground, figuring he might return to it later on.
"Off to a great start there." Qrow snorted, taking measured sips from his flask. "Gotta love black comedy. Have to say, why is this guy in jail? Must've done something stupid to end up there."
Oobleck raised an eyebrow. "The guard's uniforms remind me of olden days soldiers' way back then."
General Ironwood and Specialist Winter frowned, "He's in a military prison cell?"
"Correct. The matter in which he ended up there can be summed up in your own words… Stupid."
The scene cuts to the exterior prison door leading out into the prison yard. The door is thrown open and Pither is escorted pass a lined-up firing squad. The two guards marched Pither up to a blank wall that's situated in front of the firing squad.
There are lots of small holes in the wall.
"He's getting executed?" Blake didn't look amused. "Our previous viewing had a crazy serial killer who used to be an executioner, and now we're watching a black comedy regarding executions?"
"Our Hosts did say something about viewings being connected." Neptune cautiously put out.
"What a pleasant exercise yard." Pither innocently observed his surroundings, unaware of the severity of his predicament. The pots and metal utensils strung up to his hiking backpack continue rattling, dampening the situation with a slight sense of comedy. "How friendly they were all being."
"This guy has a few loose screws," Mercury whispered to his teammates.
Emerald rolled her eyes. "No duh."
"You have got to be kidding me." Qrow had a befuddled look that's not caused by the alcohol.
"He certainly has this empty-minded feel to him," Ozpin noted.
Vernal shook her head. Her flat expression says everything. "I'm surprised he's capable of surviving for this long."
Raven snorted in amusement by that remark.
The guards released Pither and mechanically walked away. Pither couldn't help but happily bounced on his foot, looking around in wonder of his new environment. The Officer overseeing Pither's execution walked over to him with a lone cigarette in his hand.
"Cigarette?"
Pither glanced at it before politely declining. "Oh! No thank you. I don't smoke."
The Officer walked away to prep the firing squad, leaving Pither on his own restricted device. He continued to happily around with a carefree expression.
"Ah. It appears to be one of those last requests etiquettes. In this case, this is the 'one last smoke' that I often heard about." Oobleck nodded, remembering how there are certain decency or etiquette for a condemned person depending on the crime, era, or culture. "Look's like it's also practiced in that world."
Roman chuckled. "If only the idiot knew what's coming for him."
"After a few minutes, I perceived a line of gentlemen with rifles. They were looking in my direction..." Cut to shot from behind Pither, including his back to see him facing a line of uniformed men with guns, obviously a firing squad. Back to Pither against the wall, looking behind him. "I looked around but could not see the target."
A handful of people were already laughing, though it is Yang and Tai who were wheezing at Pither's deduction.
"This guy!" Tai clutched his lower chin, his entire body trembling as he tried to contain his laugh.
Even Ozpin found himself smiling at Pither, "Ignorant is bliss."
The Officer returned, this time with a saber and a black cloth in his hand. "Blindfold?"
"No, thank you. No." Pither cheerfully replied with his hands in his pocket.
Stepping clear of the firing squad, the Officer rested his saber on his shoulder blades and barked. "Slowotny!" Firing squad snaps to attention. "Gridenwa." The bolts of their rifle clicked. Cut to shot of firing squad and the officer, his front is to the camera. "Verschnitzen."
Cinder looked on with a neutral expression, already knowing that things will not be going the firing squad's way. The pattern was there in plain sight. This is a comedy viewing after all.
"Welp. Nice knowing him." Nora casually shrugged before switching to her skeptical face. "Or is it?"
Ruby tilted her head. "Ren, what does Nora mean by that?"
He shrugged, "I dunno."
The Officer raised his saber, the firing squad raises their rifles; pointing in the direction of Pither, who is in their sight. At that moment a regular slow measured drumbeat starts. Meanwhile, Pither was still blatantly unaware of his predicament, cheerfully smiling.
As the Officer was about to give the command, they heard running footsteps approaching and shouting in Russian. The Officer turned around, with everyone in the firing squad frowning and lowering their rifle.
"Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!" A Russian soldier runs in waving a telegram. He runs up and hands it to the Officer.
"Perhaps he's being wrongly punished." Weiss gave her thoughts on the matter upon watching the Russian soldier urgently interrupting the execution. "He doesn't seem to be someone capable of intentionally committing a crime."
Velvet nodded in agreement. "I know. Just look at him. He's practically harmless."
"Interesting. They still use notes for long distances communication?" Oobleck hummed, writing a few notes down in his notebook.
"Their weapons are a bit archaic." Port pointed out.
"Methods of communication has a rather large variety if you compared cultures, you know." Oobleck pushed up his glasses. "But I suppose you're right."
"A telegram?" He opened the small folded note. "From the Kremlin, the Central Committee! It says… 'Carry on with the execution'."
"Nope." Yang flatly said before bursting out laughing.
"I wonder how their chains of command work," Winter commented offhand. "Were they even given the authorization to carry out this execution?"
Maria snorted. "Don't look too much into it."
The Officer hastily closed the telegram and raised his saber in the air. "Verschnitzen!"
They raise their rifles.
It was at this moment Pither realized that something wasn't right. His smiling expression turned into a slight frown. "Now I was really in for it."
"Oh. So now he knows he's in trouble." Vernal smirked, "Talk about no situation awareness."
Cut to shot of officer with his saber raised. Drum rolls again. He brings his sword down; shots rang out as the firing squad fired a volley upon the condemned man known as Pither.
The Officer swiveled his head, looking in Pither's direction.
There was a long pause.
He then turned to his squad. "How could you miss?"
Half of the audience let out a hearty laugh.
Cinder snickered, "I knew it."
"Really?" Never had Ironwood heard such a flat tone from Winter.
"Yeah, how could you miss?" Said Ruby, before backtracking a bit. "Uh… Not that I wanted them to hit their target."
"Did you see the look on his face?" Nora pointed and howled.
"I never saw a person with such a disappointed look on his face." Jaune grinned.
The entire firing squad lowered their weapon and inspected their rifles with confusion. The Officer keeps scanning over his men with a disbelieving expression.
"He moved." One of the soldiers responded.
"No duh, he moved." Read Neo's sign.
Raven scoffed. "They didn't even bother to restrain him."
"I doubt they'll be able to hit anything even if he was restrained." Tai chuckled.
That only got a frustrated look from the Officer. "Shut up! Go and practice." He walked over to Pither with a sincere expression. "I'm so sorry. Would you mind waiting in your cell?"
That got a hearty chuckle out of Jaune. The sincere apologetic tone the Officer had was very amusing in context. "At least he's polite."
"Something people are lacking these days," Glynda said, directing her gaze at Qrow and several of her students.
Pither looked confused but complied with the Officer's request. The cell door opened and Pither is flung back in his cell by his guards. He landed hard on the leather woven benched and felt around his stomach region.
"What a stroke of luck. My Crunchie was totally intact." He pulled out his snack and inspected it. He unraveled the wrapper and took a bite out of his Crunchie. "I settled down to a quick intermetal snack."
"Glad to see this guy has priorities." Qrow shook his head all while grinning. He probably would do the same thing with his flask as well. "Props to him for staying positive."
"No. I think that's just him being simple-minded and partially brain dead." Raven cruelly remarked without remorse. People like him living in the outer settlements and to some extent, the kingdoms, would have a huge disadvantage in life and low life expectancy.
"Come on Rae," Tai said disapprovingly. "You're better than that."
"I most certainly am."
"Not 'that' better than that."
"Enough flirting you two." Maria called out on them, "Pay attention. I want to see how many more attempts these ding dongs can miss their shot!"
The two adults looked away, face unnotably flushing.
Unfortunately, Pither was unable to take another bite. The guards burst in, barking something and forcefully grabbed Pither, dragging him away to the execution ground again. This time, the door was left open.
The sounds of drum rolling were heard along with shouts of instructions. Then a volley of shots.
Pause.
Sound of feet and clinking cheap metals were coming back to the cell. Pither is thrown into the cell, followed by the officer. He raised a finger at him. "Next time… Definitely!" The Officer turned to leave. "Now, how many of them are injured? Oh, God…"
Everyone laughed a bit louder or grinned for that one, though some silently kept their demeanor.
Maria, on the other hand, was laughing the loudest, pounding her armrest in amusement. "How many injured! What were they doing?! Checking down their gun barrels while it was loaded!? Aim at each other?!"
"You have quite a loud laugh," Winter said disdainfully.
"How on Remnant did they injure themselves during target practice?" Coco scratched her head. "These are trained soldiers… Well, they did miss so…"
Ironwood sweatdropped. "I hope their entire military isn't this incompetent."
"Reminds me of one particular and only military in Remnant."
"At least my soldiers have better aiming." The general joked back.
The door slammed shut. Outside we hear odd shots and muffled curses from the Officer.
Glynda shook her head. "I shudder to imagine what combat practice would be like for them."
"It wouldn't be pretty, that's for sure!" Maria chortled.
Pither laid down on his leather wooden benched, looking tired. "As I lay down to the sound of the Russian gentlemen practicing their shooting, I realized I was in a bit of a pickle." He leaned his head on the wall, looking dejected. "My heart sank as I realized I should never see the Okehampton by-pass again..."
"Yeah. This guy really doesn't really understand the trouble he's in." Sun scratched his head, wondering how such a person could end up in military prison. Maybe he innocently stole or broke something.
Pither closed his eyes and fell asleep. The screen started to ripple and mix, transitioning to his dream.
"What's wrong with the screen?" Oscar asked.
"It's probably a scene transition." Weiss answered, "Directors or special effects specialists often use certain camera effects to initiate a sudden change of scene."
"Oh."
Pither stirred, in a half-asleep state. He didn't realize it, but he will soon find himself in a beautiful garden, with the sun shining, the birds singing. He was sitting in a deck chair, and his mother is pouring him a glass of iced fruit juice. Gently, his mother started nudging Pither to wake him.
"Come on, dear. Wake up. dear." An elderly woman smiled at him.
"Mother!" Pither looked surprised to see his dear mother.
Ruby stilled a bit at that. Had she ever dreamed of her mother? She must have, but all her dreams tend to disappear from her memory within minutes.
"Ruby?" The crimson reaper turned and saw Yang looking at her. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." Ruby smiled.
She raised a glass of iced fruit juice to him. "Come on dear."
Pither looked around, smiling. "So, it was all a dream."
"No, dear," His mother smiled sweetly. "'this' is the dream. You're still in the cell."
Pyrrha couldn't help but titter a bit. "Oof."
"Oof indeed." Jaune laughed.
The scene quickly ripples to him waking up in a cell to the Officer shaking him awake.
"Okay! We're going to have another try." The Officer looked a bit confident. Pointing at a piece in the rifle he was holding. "I think we've got it now. My boys have all been looking down the wrong bit, see."
"They don't know how to look down their rifle's sight?" Glynda's question wasn't directed to anybody and she herself didn't expect an answer. "They surely can't be this incompetent."
"Maybe their guns are newly issued, and nobody gave them a user's manual?" Penny compiled a mental list of the reasoning behind it their baffling incompetency with their rifles.
"I wouldn't be surprised in any case." Winter's humor is a bit stiff here. "Even their commanding officer doesn't seem to know as well."
Pither frowned and got up from his seat, correcting the Officer on his mistake. "Oh, no, no, you've got to look down that bit there." He pointed at the opposite side of the bit they were using for aiming.
There was an awkward pause from the Officer. "I thought it was that bit."
"Oh no, you've got to look down that bit or you won't hit anything."
The loudmouths of the audience gave their signature laugh, while everyone else hosted their own levels of their current entertainment on their face.
For Maria, this man reminded her of Pietro and his tendency to be scattered brain at times. "No wonder they're trying to kill him!" She laughed. "He's too pure for this world!"
"Wha – Are you that… You have got to be kidding me." Raven facepalmed, now knowing how Glynda feels she has to deal with angsty or macho teenagers wrecking the school. "This guy really doesn't deserve to live."
"He's just trying to be helpful." There's nothing wrong with being helpful. Though, Ruby isn't that naïve and understands that sometimes you shouldn't help people. Like your enemies. Or people trying to kill you because of reasons.
Raven's face was unreadable as she turned her attention to Ruby. The physical resemblances and positive outlook of Ruby Rose were almost the exact same with her mother, Summer Rose.
"What an idiot." Mercury sniggered at Pither's lethal stupidity.
"Alright! We'll give it a whirl! Guards, seize him!" Two guards entered the cell and dragged Pither away. The Officer walked out the door bearing new information for his men. "Listen! You've got to look down this bit."
Cheerfully music started playing in the background as the scene comes to an end.
Roman snorted. "No pardon for helping those simpletons learn how to aim."
"That was a bit dark." Velvet quietly said. "But somewhat amusing."
"That was entertaining," Pyrrha admitted.
'It was stupid', is what several of the more serious characters thought. On the other hand, it did take their minds off of the darker and more stressful viewing that saw previously.
"The next viewing will take place in Remnant. Before that, there will be some short viewings along the way as we sort through the history of your world once more."
Cinder and Ozpin's group silently pulled up their notes in order to write down anything that may occur in the next viewings. Should there be something useful in the next viewings, it'll serve as a potential asset or knowledge given to them practically free.
Oobleck looked interested at what the Hosts said. "Fascinating! Are you able to view Remnant's history like it is a history documentary or book? I am curious to see how you perceive our world, and to a greater extent, our reality."
"In a sense, yes. We are. However, our perception of the world spans beyond just the past, present, and future as you all already know. Such knowledge and perception are taxing on a mortal's mind."
"I see."
"What are we watching next," Ozpin asked.
"Byproducts of your Great War."
NEXT: World of Remnant - The Aesir Project, by Lightning-in-my-Hand
Been meaning to do this one...
Two or one more additional chapter coming up on Sunday (Meet the Team)
Pardon my grammar.
