Ecstasy. Imagine hardly having any food or drink, half starving, and having plain bread and butter the few times when you do get a chance to eat, then suddenly have the most exquisite feast laid out in front of you, tasting luxury after all that time...
Ecstasy...
Raziel closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of hot blood run down his throat. He felt the human in his last death throes, struggling. Exultant, Raziel restrained him until he went limp and died from the lack of much-needed blood. Satiated, Raziel dropped the corpse, the last of the human's blood trickling from his neck.
He stared at the drained corpse in front of him, disgusted at himself. For a few moments not only was he a vampire in body, but a vampire in mind, too. He then wanted to refuse the fact that he was now a vampire. But he had killed now. He had killed and eaten the helpless human before him. And he had loved it.
Then again, he had loved killing Janos...
And all those other vampires...
But he was quite sure humans were the better. Vampires were subhuman beasts that did nothing but prey on humans. Evil beings that bit and drank...
So that they could live.
Looking back at the dead man in front of him, Raziel noted that he now wasn't one to talk. But he decided that was Kain's fault that he was now a vampire.
All Kain's fault...
All Raziel now wanted at that moment was to find Kain and destroy him...
Kain circled Dumah, looking him up and down, considering. The arrogant vampire still kept his eyes averted, though whether it was still an act of defiance, or if Dumah was finally feeling at least some degree of regret, or possible fear, Kain didn't know or care. It was time he learnt to fear Kain in any case.
"So..." Kain stopped, eyeing Dumah. "You just jumped out of the air and attacked Raziel without giving him a chance to react..."
"I was sparring..."
"Perhaps." Kain narrowed his eyes. Obviously irritated, he picked Dumah up by the collar of his light armor. "But now thanks to you, Raziel has lost his mind..." Kain stated calmly, yet firmly.
"Well... er... So what? A good knock on the head will bring him back!"
Kain made a face and threw Dumah against the wall. "Is that what you are suggesting, Dumah? Just bash him about until he remembers? If that is what I'm to do, maybe I should try that tactic on you, first, seeing how YOU'RE responsible for this!"
Getting up, Dumah rubbed his shoulder, which was injured from the impact. "Then how are you going to fix him?"
Kain turned away from Dumah, keeping the corner of his eye fixed on his third lieutenant. "Let's just say, there's more than one way to skin a cat..."
His eyes turned away from Dumah in time to spot Raziel standing at the entrance to the pillars, fists clenched a look of smoldering anger and vengeance in his yellow eyes.
"YOOOOOUUUUUUU!" Raziel hissed. "You sick bastard!"
"Ah, Raziel! Feeling better, I presume?" Kain mused. "Satisfied, I hope?"
The look of anger in Raziel's eyes intensified, and the ex-Sarafan lunged at the uber vampire. Kain barely reacted, simply lifting up his foot for a kick, stopping Raziel in mid-lunge.
"Don't be a fool, Raziel." Kain stated calmly. "I doubt you have the ability to take me on."
"I don't care." Raziel snapped, getting up. "I'll defeat you if it's the last thing I do!"
"I really don't see what your problem is, Raziel. I figured a little snack would have at least..."
Raziel cut him off. "Of all the people you had to turn into a vampire! What better punishment for your enemies than to turn them into what they loathe most. You vile fiend!" Raziel swung his claws at Kain, who blocked the blow and kicked Raziel onto the ground.
"What's he talking about?" Dumah asked, puzzled.
"Ignore him!" Kain hissed,
"Dumah! You too?" Raziel saw Dumah for the first time.
"Me too what?"
"How many of us, did you turn, Kain? Wasn't I enough to satisfy your twisted sense of humor?"
"Dumah, leave, NOW!" Kain snarled.
"But..." Dumah protested.
"Dumah, you have irritated me enough today. If you do not leave, I'll make you wish you had." Kain warned.
Dumah knew when to make an exit. Kain watched him leave, making sure he was gone. He spotted the two Turelim just outside the sanctuary's gates.
"You two, come here!" Kain ordered.
Raziel was just preparing for another attack. Fortunately, this time the Turelim held him firmly by the arms, so Kain had no more need to attack Raziel. Raziel struggled in their grasp.
"Accursed vampire SCUM!" Raziel snarled. "I'll tear your filthy heart out for what you did, just like I did to that fiend, Janos!"
"Such violence." Kain shook his head, bemused. "And I thought the vampires where the bloodthirsty ones."
"I am a vampire, no thanks to you!"
"Well, at least now you don't need to hide behind that mask of righteousness you Sarafan have."
"The Sarafan ARE righteous!" Raziel yelled.
"I fear I cannot convince you otherwise." Kain feigned regret. To the turelim, he rapped out orders. "Take him back to his clan's sanctuary, back to his restroom. See that he is properly guarded this time. And neither of you is to so much as mention what has been said in here! And while you're at it, find out why his own clan didn't stop him from reaching here!"
The two Turelim nodded, and dragged the struggling, screaming vampire away from Kain, who held his forehead in his hand. He was sorely tempted to do what Dumah suggested, and whack Raziel repeatedly on the head till either his lieutenant came back became simply whacked out.
"YOU THERE! Why aren't you guarding your leader as you were commanded?" A voice shouted from across the hall. A small group of Razielhim turned and spotted a loyal Turelim, and they turned to see what they had done wrong now.
"You were supposed to watch over Lord Raziel!" The Turelim rebuked the Razielhim. "Why did you let him escape?"
"But Sariss and Kat were guarding him. We only left for a moment." Matt said. They then ran over to the entrance to Raziel's restroom, another Turelim guarding the raging leader inside. Near the door, stood two carcasses. Kat had a stake running through her chest, which Matt, upset over her injury, pulled it out, reviving her. Sariss had apparently bled to death, her body sucked dry of it's lifeblood, no doubt by the changed Raziel. Matt helped Kat up.
"What happened?" Matt asked.
"He just opened the door and staked me before I could do anything!" Kat explained. "Sariss... She's gone now!"
"And your leader escaped and attacked our Lord Kain!" The Turelim criticized them. The Razielhim ignored him.
"We were only gone for a moment!" Matt frowned. "We are guarding someone that now wants us dead."
"Then we must guard it harder." Vosa stated simply. "So that we do not die."
"But why does he want to kill us so much?" Bob wondered aloud. "He apparently thinks he's human, but I've never seem them so vengeful in my life, or unlife."
"I think Rouge knows." Vosa said thoughtfully.
"Hey, where has she gone, anyway?" Kat asked.
'Take that, man behind the door. Take that, man under the bed, take that, whisperer, lewd whisperer in the bushes. And that, tormentor, and that, exploiter. Take that, bully man. See how it feels. See how it hurts. See how he screams...'
–Sally, Fortress by Gabrielle Lord
'Did you hear his cowardly screams when I tore that black heart from his carcass?'
-Sarafan Raziel, Soul reaver 2
It had been several days, now, since Raziel had escaped to seek vengeance on Kain only to be captured again, trapped in the restroom he had used in a previous life. Raziel had, of course, refused to drink the human blood the vampire vermin brought to him. He would not care much if he had to drink the blood of a vampire, but of course, that wasn't what he was going to get. They had tried to convince him otherwise, that they wanted to 'help' him, with his 'amnesia'. Raziel ignored them; he refused to be sucked in by the vampire's code words like 'help', and 'care'. They were just vampire's words of seduction, the parasites trying to convince him, to find ways to use him again for their own foul purposes. There was no way that he would let them twist him again for their own dark, evil ends.
Raziel had stopped raging inside his prison, getting tired of it. He wanted to go out to seek Kain for vengeance again, but the guard outside his room was doubled. When he stepped out the door, he now faced four or five vampires. And tough though he felt that he was, he knew he wasn't that strong. And a couple of them looked particularly large and muscular.
Another day had passed. Raziel, with little else to do, fell into another fitful sleep. He was getting thirstier by the hour, but he refused to pay any attention to the stupid urge. But the more he fought it, the more nightmares he had;
Raziel woke up with a start. He looked around the dark room he was in. The most recent gory dream he just had came rushing back into his mind.
Raziel squeezed his eyes shut and tried to imagine something else.
What did he like to imagine?
Vampires. Nothing pleased him more than getting rid of the demon vermin. Deep down inside, though he refused to admit it, he was afraid of them. They had been growing in numbers, and Raziel began to live in the evil and danger that they represented, and thus began to live in the fear of them, seeing them not as a people, but through a warped spyglass, as monsters. He fought them as often as he could, mostly to conquer that fear, so that the hunted could become the hunter. And the more he conquered that fear, the more he loved it. He tried to remember his crusades, catching all of the vampires, putting their heads on stakes. Pulling out Janos' heart out, his brethren around him.
Except it wasn't Janos he was cutting up. It was that man he had first bitten. Raziel remembered the taste of his blood, and imagined it all welling from the hole in his chest. He could taste the blood now...
Raziel yelped, shaking his head clear of the vision. Okay, maybe that didn't work so well. His vampiric urge was getting the worst of him. And he really, really, needed a drink. But he was still worried about the first time he had drunk in such a manner. The rapturous feeling he got almost drove him from himself. For a few moments he had stopped being a Sarafan, and had become one of the blood sucking fiends he detested so much. Then, he was able to stop himself. But what would happen if he couldn't control himself next time? Raziel would stop being... himself. What would he be then? Probably the stupid creature he was before. The fear that would separate Raziel from becoming that vampire would almost disappear. But the Sarafan that he was would cease to exist.
"No." He moaned. He didn't want that to happen. But what could he do? He felt particularly helpless when another pang of thirst hit him. Clutching his empty stomach, his world spinning around him, Raziel eyed the door, almost wishing one of his keepers would burst in offering him a goblet of blood.
Okay, maybe trying to control that thirst of his wasn't such a great idea. But what could he do? He wanted to seek vengeance on that scum for turning him into one of them. Maybe he could direct his thirst, the thirst they forced on him, on them, fusing that thirst with his hatred.
And he was thirsty...
Then he found himself heading for the door, and opening it, before he caught himself. The two muscular vampires turned and spotted him.
"You shall not pass!" One hissed.
A smaller vampire walked up. "Lord Raziel!" He exclaimed. Raziel saw him, and smelt his blood. Vampire blood.
"You'll do fine!" Raziel grinned, and brought his claw up to strike. But the lack of sustenance had drained him, and there wasn't enough force to the blow, so the vampire wasn't too badly injured. Unfortunately, with the vampiric claws that he had, he didn't need much force to cause three shallow gashes along the vampire's chest. The smaller vampire backed away. Another pang of thirst hit him, and Raziel clutched at his stomach again. He eyed the blood leaking behind the vampire's claws, which were holding the scar that quickly healed the scratch he had caused.
"What's he doing?" The unwounded vampire asked him, anxiously. The healed vampire at his side seemed to realize what was up and rushed away, apparently getting something.
"BloooDDdd!" Raziel hissed. He lunged at the other smaller vampire, and bit straight into his neck.
Matt tried to push his leader away. "Raziel... Please stop!" He winced, his own blood being drained. Raziel didn't want to stop, however, and sucked the vampire's blood even more, until the stronger Turelim pulled Raziel away roughly, shoving him back into his room.
"BlooOOOOdd!" The group heard Raziel yell before the door was slammed before them by the Turelim.
Matt saw Kat coming up towards them. She spotted the bite marks on Matt's neck.
"It happened again, didn't it?" Kat said simply.
Matt growled. "What the hell is his problem?"
"Uh... He's thirsty?" Kat offered.
Matt shook his head. "Then why in the hell does he keep on turning down all that human blood we send him? Freakin' fussy..."
"Maybe he has 'cravings'." Kat joked.
Matt shook his head, again. "Yeah, right, a vampire, pregnant." He sneered. "Real funny."
"Oh, go fix yourself up. I'll take your shift." Kat said. The Razielhim left, thankful.
Okay, maybe he would have to hold off his vengeance for a while. He couldn't seem to get out of this prison. Even when he was strengthened by the blood he had just fed on. There didn't seem to be much of a chance of getting out.
He needed help, at least. But who would help him? Turel, Dumah, Malek, Zephon... The Sarafan brotherhood. Usually he would turn to them for help. But they were probably all turned. No, this time Raziel was alone... So very alone. Worse than alone; he was a vampire, too. Even his own body was against him.
But without help, there was no chance of escape. The only way Raziel could get out was for him to become the vampire he was before he woke up. But he wouldn't let that happen. He wasn't doing much here, though. The only other possible thing he could do would be to die.
Then again, last time he tried that, he wasn't so successful, and was revived, anyway. But maybe the next time he did it he would be more successful. Maybe if he used fire or water or something. He'd rather die. Rather die than face what he was...
He really didn't want to face his vampirism. He hated vampires. Feared them. It was worse now, as he was now afraid that he couldn't resist them for much longer. And though he really didn't want to admit it, he'd rather die than face that fear.
But fear was what he was feeling.
And though he could stop looking at those cloven hands, his pale skin. Avoid the face his mirror showed, and avoid feeling his fangs, Raziel could not avoid the fact that his thirst would come back. Whether he wanted to or not, he was going to have to face that fear. He didn't know how though. All he felt that he could do was anticipate that cause of fear again. Anticipate the thirst.
Anticipate that addictive lust, which was breaking down that wall of fear Raziel had put up, separating him from vampires, brick by brick.
