Blog 17 – The Larvae at the End of the Tunnel

"Hmmmm… ahh! Yes, this is definitely the cube."

Cain was studying Meleezons find, turning it over in his hands. He held the cube out for the trio to see, and pointed at two small buttons.

"This one here," he said, "will open the cube up." He pushed the button and a side of box opened up. "This will allow you to put items in."

Static looked skeptical.

"Erm, Cain, you said we had to put a staff into that. Look at the size of it! It fits in your palm! How exactly can you fit anything bigger then a wendigo turd in there?"

Cain grinned.

"We Horadrim were well known for our marvelous abilities, Ms. Zapour. Allow me to demonstrate." He put his free hand up for all to see; "Nothing up my sleeve…" then he plunged it into the cube. His arm disappeared up to the elbow.

"Hole…"

"Lee…"

"Cheese?" finished Divo, offering some of her lunch to Static. The Sorceress swatted her away.

"How did you do that Cain?" Static said in amazement. "The manipulation of space time is theoretically impossible with our current levels of technology. It would take a fusion core mass spectrometer the size of Jerhyn's Palace too.." she paused, realizing the entire market place had halted their business. All eyes were focused on her.

Static looked slightly uncomfortable.

"What? I read a lot ok? I enjoy libraries… they're peaceful! I don't have to fight monsters every day of my life! I have other hobbies too! OK I'M A NERD! I HATE YOU ALL!" She ran out of the town center crying.

"Hehe, maybe I should get her some big glasses? And dye her hair red when she's sleeping. And paint on freckles! And steal her toothbrush so her breath smells really bad and -"

"Divo…"

"Yeah, alright, sorry."

"Anyway," Cain continued, "the cube in reality is far larger then it looks, but it's not infinite. It can hold perhaps one suit of armour and a sword. And it can easily accommodate the staff and its head piece."

"What does the other button do?"

"That's the transmute button. It will combine whatever you put into the cube. Unless they can't be combined, in which case nothing will happen. Which will be around 95 of the time."

"Oh cool!" Divo said gleefully. "Let me try!"

She pulled some arrows from her quiver and dropped them into the cube. Cain pushed the button; there was a humming, a flash of light and the cube jumped within his palm. Then it sat still. Cain opened the lid and reached in, withdrawing some crossbow bolts.

"Here you are Divo."

"… bolts? What the hell do I need bolts for? I was hoping they'd combine into bigger, stronger arrows! Maybe with lasers!"

"Sorry, answer unclear, please try again later."

"What?"

"Nevermind. Now, the time comes for you girls to find the staff. I've talked with Drognan about where our Horadrim member could have wandered too. Ancient news articles say that witnesses spotted a blinded folded man with a big stick wandering in the Far Oasis. Then he fell down a hole and was never seen again. Guess what: you're going digging."

Meleezon groaned.

"You're kidding. We have to dig up the entire Oasis to find some skeleton clutching a staff?"

"No, I was kidding. That place is full of maggot lairs. Most likely he fell down one of them. Maggots encase their victims within big, slimy cocoons. You'd be wise to check any you find."

"Ok! We have direction. C'mon Divo, lets go find Ms. Geeks-a lot and tell her we're leaving. By the way Cain, how does the cube work?"

"Magic," he said in a mysterious voice, while making twinkling motion with his fingers.

"Silly question."

---Fast Forward – The Far Oasis---

"So Static, do you collect stamps? How about rare gold coins? Oh I know, Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards-"

"Oh, just shut up. At least my high school hobbies didn't earn me the reputation of 'best bow jobs'."

"Hey, I was respected for that! I may not use bows but I was darn good at making and maintaining them. Plus it was a great way to meet guys."

The three were sitting around a small pond in the shade of a palm tree, eating lunch. Divo was busy playing with the cube.

"Hey check it out! Did you know if you combine tuna sandwiches with egg ones, you get a sandwich that smells AND tastes bad?"

"Divo, transmute didn't even work. You mixed the sandwiches up when you shook the cube."

Divo sighed and threw away her experiment.

"This box isn't half as fun as I thought it'd be."

Meleezon stood up and stretched.

"Well we should keep moving. We'll never find this hole if we don't… say... can you hear that?"

Divo and Static went still and concentrated on listening.

-….bzzzzzzzzz-

"Yes, I can. Sounds like a fly."

"But a big one… it's getting louder"

-bbbzzzzZZZZZZZZ-

"Whatever it is, it's definitely getting closer."

-BBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZ-

"Meleezon behind you!"

The Amazon turned and spotted the gigantic beetle flying straight for her head just in time, and dropped to the sand. The insect glided over her and crashed into the pool.

"What the hell is THAT?" Meleezon screamed, regaining her footing and fuming with anger from being caught off guard. Static gasped.

"Those markings… that colour… my god, it's Beetleburst!"

"Beetle-what?"

"Beetleburst. He's the only blue Scarab seen in a hundred years. Poachers from Lut Gholein have been trying to acquire his rare carapace, as legend says it's extremely strong material."

"Nicceee," smiled Meleezon. "Now we have the chance to take it ourselves." She hefted her axe and shield. "I'm gonna make you squeal, buggy."

"Wait!" Static grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. "Do you seriously believe it's that easy? Don't you think the other poachers would have succeeded ages ago if it was?"

Beetleburst was still busy splashing around in the pond. He seemed completely oblivious to the humans watching him. His afternoon bath wasn't something he liked to interrupt.

Meleezon thought about Statics statement.

"Yeah… that's a point. What did happen to them anyway?"

Static grunted in frustration.

"Don't you know ANYthing about the monsters you kill? Scarabs have a tough exoskeleton, but are exceedingly delicate on the inside. If you can hit them enough times to crack open the shell, they're screwed. As a defensive mechanism, they have an overly charged magnetic field."

"Soooo… I hit him, I get electrocuted?"

"Worse then I could ever do, I'm sure. The idea is you're meant to kill yourself trying to kill him before his carapace cracks."

"Nasty. What if Divo shoots him with her bow?"

Divo, still fiddling with the box and only half listening, was paying enough attention to hear the words 'Divo shoot with bow'.

"Sure!" She knocked an arrow and fired it at the big beetle playing in the pond.

-PING-

The arrow bounced off its shell, and at the same time, waves of electricity washed over the pool. The water began to boil and steam, but prevented any of the shock waves reaching the women.

"You're lucky he's in the pool, Divo, or you probably would have just killed us all."

Beetleburst whirled and focused on the humans. His mandibles clicked back and forth angrily. Meleezon began to back up towards the palm tree.

"Can he climb trees?"

"Not likely."

Simultaneously they ran for the trunk and began to scrabble up. Beetleburst let out an angry series of clicks and chirps, and charged towards them.

"Up, up, move!" yelled Divo who was the last to climb. Meleezon and Static sat in the palms ferny peak and watched the angry insect crash repeatedly into the trunk.

"Wait… couldn't he just fly up here?"

"Yes. But it's more likely he'll get pissed soon and use those razor-sharp scythe arms to hack the tree down."

"Let's hope he's not that pis-"

As she watched, Beetleburst reared back and swung his arm, slicing the tree completely through.

"Oh SHHHIITTT-"

-SPLOOSH-

They fell out of the leaves upon impact with the water, and disappeared below the surface. Meleezon was the first to make it up for air.

"Ugh. Blah. This water tastes like crap. Or maybe I've just had too much beer lately."

Static surfaced beside her.

"I just had a perm, dammit."

Divo came up gasping.

"AAAHHH! WATER! I'M MELTING, I'M MELT-"

"Oh stop being so melodramatic. Where's our friend Beetleburst got to?"

Static swam to the edge and pointed to the palms severed base.

"I said he was tough. Never said he was smart."

A few legs and some broken carapace was all that was visible from underneath the fallen tree. Meleezon walked over and lifted the palm off.

"Ew. What a mess. So much for retrieving the bug-armour." She bent down and pulled out a strange, pulsating object from the mashed flesh. "What do you think this is?"

Static took it from Meleezons hands and studied it.

"It's the organ responsible for the over-charged magnetic field. If you squeeze it should release some of the-" -ZORCH-

"Hah! Copped some of your own medicine for once ay?" Meleezon laughed. Static flattened down her hair and scowled.

"Yes ha ha. Be thankful it was me and not you. I've got a natural resistance to electricity; that jolt would more then likely have killed you."

"Well, we better keep looking for the maggot lairs. It's getting late after all." Meleezon put the zap-organ in her back pack. "Besides, the faster we walk, the faster we'll dry off."

---Fast Forward---

"Meleezon I'm bored. We're never going to find this pllaaaaaaaaaaccee..."

"… well whatta you know. Divo found the maggot lair."

"Think she's alright? She fell a long way."

"Ah, she'll be fine. Unless she landed on a maggot. Then she'll be cranky."

---Fast Forward – Maggot Lair Level 1---

"I landed on a maggot."

"Yes I can see. Green goo looks good on you."

"I look like something Warriv coughed up before I… er… the cat caused his allergies to kill him."

"Lovely. Well, we can't really go wrong down here. There can only be so many tunnels, right?"

---Fast Forward – 3 Hours Later---

"Can't go wrong down here, she says. Only so many tunnels she says. I've seen that same Saber Cat carcass four times."

"Oi, Static. Have you ever had to navigate through a jungle so thick you couldn't see what you were hunting, or even knew if you were being hunted?"

"No."

"Then shut the hell up. I'll get us out of here. Eventually."

They continued down the twisting burrow yet again, until Meleezon finally spotted a pathway, almost completely hidden by a sheet of slime.

"Divo, think you could break through that for us?"

"Let me think: NO. I'm still trying to get the goo off from the bug I fell onto."

"Well you don't have to touch it. Here look; there's a thread of slime there. I bet if you pulled it the whole thing would slide away."

"Where? I don't see it."

"There. Look closer."

"I still don't –"

-Shove-

"MELEEZON I'LL F&$ING KILL YYYOOUuuuu…"

"Oops. Didn't know the hole down was right behind it. Maybe another bug will break her fall."

---Fast Forward – Maggot Lair Level 2---

"Heh… um… you ok Divo?"

"Yeah, fine. I think"

"Ok, well we better keep looking. We must be getting close."

"I'm still going to kill you."

"Later… after you've had a shower. Boy do you smell."

---Fast Forward – Maggot Lair Level 3---

"This has got to be the last level. I can't stand these places. Why always three?"

"I dunno. It's not like every level is different either. Sam ol' same ol'. Although I spose you have to expect that in a hole dug by bugs."

"True. Speaking of which; the only bugs we've encountered so far are those largish ones that lay eggs that pop open to reveal babies ones. Where is the one that made burrows this size?"

"That's… a really good question. And judging from the depth we're at, I'd say we'll find out who's responsible soon enough."

The trio crept forward, listening for the chatter of maggots, or the popping of eggs.

"I can hear a weird squelching noise. What do you think it is?" They rounded a corner and suddenly found themselves in a large chamber.

"Well, just I random guess, but I'd say it's prrrobably that," Meleezon mused, pointing to the enormous maggot in the center of the room. A gigantic mass of rolling bug flesh, bloated beyond movement. Its tiny legs protruded either side of the body, unable to even touch the ground. The rear end was pumping out egg after egg in a never ending factory of larvae love.

"Wow, lady, you really let yourself go," Divo chimed in.

Meleezon hefted her axe.

"Do you think we should kill it?"

Static eyes were focused elsewhere.

"I think… we have a bigger problem then some fat immobile slug." All around them the eggs were beginning to pulsate and pop. Mandibles began to chew their way out, and the air was filled with tiny newborn squeaks.

"I think your right Static." Meleezon thwacked Bladebone in her hand. "It's hatchling hack-time. I never liked kids anyway."

---Fast Forward – 5 Goo Filled Minutes Later---

"Blarg. I think we'll all need a shower now."

"Sure. At the Sorceress Commune we had group showers all the time."

"That's… definitely not what I meant. Where's Divo got too?"

"Whhheee… guys you have to try this! It's awesome!"

Divo had climbed atop the great unmoving bug and was gleefully jumping up and down on its middle.

"Divo, get off the poor thing. How would you like it if she was bouncing up and down on your stomach?"

Divo paid no attention. It was becoming strikingly obvious that the great insect was now under stress, as it began to shoot eggs out with such force they were flying across the room and smashing into walls.

"Erm... Divo… Divo I'm serious. Old Queeny doesn't look good."

The maggot's beady eyes were beginning to roll wildly within its head and the legs were flailing desperately. Meleezon could see splits beginning to form in the skin.

"Oh $hit. Static… I suggest you duck." They took refuge as best they could behind a pile of dirt, while Divo continued to enjoy her living jumping-castle.

"Guys! C'mon! It's great fun! And it's not like she can hurt us or anything. What could possibly go-"

-BABOOOOMMMM-

---Fast Forward---

"That is… the most disgusting thing I've ever lived through." Meleezon picked a bug part out of her hair and smeared the goo from her cheeks.

Static was having similar problems.

"I agree. Although you have to admit the fountain of slime rising from where Divo disappeared inside was pretty cool."

The two women walked over to the skeletal remains of the Maggot Queens carapace.

"Looks like some kind of dead inland whale doesn't it?"

From within the empty shell came loud gasping, followed by coughs and splutters. Divo was in a swimming pool of slime, practically up to her neck.

"If you dare laugh, I'll hire Goatmen to molest you in your sleep."

"Heh-ahem. Sure. No laughing. Wasn't that funny -giggle snort-. So er… have fun?"

"Loads." She replied, wiping goo from her eyes. "More fun then I'll have in a looongggg time I'm thinking. But I found something that will make you very pleased and forget all about this ever happening."

"It'd have to be good to stop me from telling the whole town."

Divo rummaged around in the slime pool and lifted a long, dripping shaft up for all too see.

"I found our Horadrim friend's final resting place. Tell you what, that must have been darn uncomfortable to have inside you. Kinda like an anal probe gone horribly –"

"Ok, Divo, enough mental imagery for now. Well done; you found the staff. I guess this event never happened after all. Now let's get you out of there before I give into my urges and take a screenshot."

"What?"

"Hmm? What? I didn't say anything. C'mon; Atma's pub and nice, clean water await."

Next Blog: When all else fails… hit 'Reset'