A/N- These lyrics from Lenord Cohen's song, 'Closing Time' sprung to my mind while I wrote this chapter. I thought these words (not sure about the song, but the words) fit.

"Yeah I missed you since the place got wrecked
By the winds of change and the weeds of sex
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's closing time"


The firelight threw itself upon Kagome's face, leaping and dancing on top of her stoic expression. She stared with dark eyes into the heat eating away at a pile of fresh wood. 'Find my center.' Tendrils of flame twisted and collapsed on top of one another in a steady, crackling rhythm. She tried to think of nothing but the smoke swallowing the night air. Before long the waves of flame became less bright and began moving at a steady, predictable pace. She wasn't looking at it, but through it. She was looking at…

Nothing. The colours faded, and for one brief moment she felt her heart beat in the nothingness. She felt its tug: its power lying dormant. This sudden realization jerked her out of her trance, and she lost any grip she had on her abilities.

"Kagome? You okay?" Inuyasha peered at her from across the wavering curtain of fire.

"Yeah. I was just thinking."

He shifted his crossed legs and glanced quickly at the darkness surrounding them. Sesshomaru's scent drifted from the woods. He hadn't approached the village yet; he was hiding silently amongst black branches. They'd yet to figure out why he hadn't confronted them. Inuyasha forced his attention back onto Kagome. She was sitting hunched over, staring into the base of the fire. "It wasn't your fault." He tried to lighten her burden.

Kagome ignored him. Her steady eyes focused on the jumping flames.

"I mean," Inuyasha continued, "I bet if she wanted to be revived you could have healed her."

Her power slipped out of her grasp again, hovering just beyond her fingertips. She huffed down to lie on the rough wood floor. Blankets twisted with her frustrated movements. "I couldn't. I tried." The admission didn't give her a sense of relief; instead it hung heavy on her guilty heart. Speaking it out loud, she reeled away from the fact that Kaede would be there--sitting beside her--if she hadn't failed.

Inuyasha saw her body sink down with her words. He saw the trails of old tears shining on her cheeks. "It was probably for the better." Her eyes snapped up to look at his words. "I mean—she didn't want to be healed. Maybe she had a reason."

Kagome shifted in the shadows. "She wanted to die, I think."

"Why would anybody want to die?" Inuyasha asked out loud.

Her gaze turned to the floor beneath her elbows. She traced the delicate wooden lines; the heavy, dark furrows in between boards; the ragged brown waves shifting with every piece to form a complicated pattern. She thought about the building, tired and worn. She remembered Sesshomaru's longing when he spoke of death. "Maybe…" She lightly traced a wooden knot. "Life gets boring after a while." She saw her death reflected in the floorboards. A million forms… "We're all just matter." She saw lifetimes hidden in the dirt beneath her, the air around her, her skin and veins.

"Still doesn't make sense to me. I think she was losing it in her final days, anyway."

Kagome shook herself out of her trance. She squirmed up to sit comfortably straight, her back exposed to the darkness. "Why do you say that?"

Inuyasha wrinkled his nose and, again, glanced around the hut. He adjusted his seated position, wary of the night's deceptive quiet. "She kept asking to see Sesshomaru."

"Fate's mistake… You will unite them". Kagome couldn't find a way to link her words to the Taiyoukai beyond the flickering light. Perhaps Kaede had lost it. "That's odd. Has she ever spoken to him before?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Maybe while I was stuck to the tree. I don't know. I don't think they have any connection, anyway." He grumbled a bit as he sniffed the air again. "Best not to think about her."

"Probably." The words escaped Kagome's mouth without any conviction. In an attempt to reign in her thoughts she focused on the Hanyou before her. A question popped out of nowhere and fell out of her mouth before she could think about the implications. "Do you love me, Inuyasha?"

Surprised eyes turned to her face, flickering yellows and browns in the warm light. "Why'd you have to ask?"

She shrugged, a little embarrassed, and hoped that he wouldn't ask her the same question back. Do you love me, Kagome? She tried. That's all she thought she could say. But trying wasn't good enough, was it? So she smiled in relief when he didn't seem interested in perusing that topic any further.

A calm moment passed, decorated with the snapping of flames and the wind's low howl.

"When will Miroku and Sango get back?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha swallowed heavily and peered unblinkingly into the darkness. "Three days at the most. Was pretty stupid of us to send for a healer so late, wasn't it?"

"Not really."

He shrugged. Kagome's eyes swept over the half-demon, sitting cross-legged inside the circle of light. His red haori was piled clumsily around his still form. The mass of fair hair on his head shimmered reds and yellows as it swished onto the floor. Kagome remembered running her fingers through his hair--she remembered the thrill, the racing heartbeats, the heavy breaths and throaty whispers. She couldn't seem to link that Inuyasha with the one sitting before her. Old Inuyasha was handsome, daring and bold, swift and strong. He was caring and loving and perfect. Now he was different. He was childish, impatient, loving and brave, and… human.

But those two Inuyasha's were the same; it was her who'd changed. She'd made love to a fantasy, a vision of what she wanted him to be. Now time was poking holes in her perception of him, cracking an illusion to reveal a flawed being. Why, she wondered for the millionth time, did I never notice that in him before?

"How long is Sesshomaru going to be hanging around us?" Inuyasha asked, wrinkling his nose again.

Kagome shrugged. "A month?"

Inuyasha shifted. His frustrated sigh broke the heavy silence. "Can't you just tell him off?"

"No!" Anger welled in Kagome's stomach. 'He always blames things on me!'

Inuyasha ignored her cry. The rugged angles of his face twisted to form a vulnerable expression, rare in such a stubborn demon. Inuyasha's pretty eyes—so human compared to his brother's—watched Kagome pouting. He wanted to touch her mouth. He wanted to take her in his arms. He wanted to… But Sesshomaru may come and steal her away, and what if she didn't return this time? "Why does he need you?" Inuyasha asked. His voice was softer than usual.

Kagome wondered that herself. 'Why does he want me?' It wasn't as if he needed her, really. He had enough knowledge about the future. He could take out a book on his own, if he needed. It wasn't as if she were spectacularly beautiful, and she doubted that he enjoyed her company. So why? "Maybe for a place to stay?" She suggested.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Why would he need a place to stay?"

"A bed to sleep in?"

He waved his arms around impatiently, dangerously close to the fire. An angry look consumed his features. "Why would he need a bed, Kagome? The creep doesn't sleep! He could walk for days and days and not need anything. He could live on the streets and be fine. He doesn't need your house." He calmed a bit, slightly guilty that his worry had exploded into an angry outburst. "I don't understand why he'd ask this of you."

"Me neither." Kagome shivered and reminded herself that she was surrounded by safe wood. She pretended that the world didn't exist beyond the circle of wavering golden light. Still, she couldn't' shake off the feeling that Sesshomaru sat perched on the darkness, watching her.

A look of utmost seriousness passed over Inuyasha's glowing eyes. "You can't leave again. We think that the final battle is coming soon. Naraku's puppets are showing up all the time now. And we need you there, Kagome, for the fight. You're still working on your healing, but if you have some arrows you're dangerous. Stay until then." He ended gruffly, guarded with his arms crossed. It was an order--not a suggestion.

"God Inuyasha, I would if your insane brother hadn't decided to kidnap me! It wasn't really my choice!" Her heart thrummed in anger.

He clenched his fists and leaned forward. "Well if you'd let me talk to him, we could sort something out!"

Kagome glared at the empty space where his sword once rested. "Inuyasha, you don't even have a weapon. Don't kid yourself--you aren't able to talk without getting pissed and beating something up."

"And Sesshomaru is?"

She clambered up in a swell of anger. Her nails dug into her palms as she looked down at Inuyasha, eyes narrowed. "I wasn't talking about Sesshomaru. I was talking about you. Can't you take responsibility for anything? You always blame me! Grow up, Inuyasha!"

The Hanyou felt stung by her bitter words—she so rarely criticized a flaw of his in such harsh tones. Bewildered and a little hurt, he stared back at her with a cross expression. "Why're you being like this, Kagome?"

Her anger drained as she saw through his strong façade into his confused face. "I'm sorry Inuyasha. I don't know what came over me." He smiled, relieved and willing to forget her ugly words. She rarely apologized first.

Looking at his happy face, a wave of hot longing hit her. She found herself wanting to rest in his arms and discover him again for the first time. But she stalled before moving and looked at his features, his hair, his clothing, and his eyes. She felt as if she were looking at Miroku, or Kouga, or any other man. The spark had died out, and she would be feeling the flame's ashes instead of turning towards her future. Gazing at Inuyasha, She thought that she wasn't in love with him: she was in love with the feeling of love. 'Would that be using him, if I pretended?'

Inuyasha notcied her eyes running along his body and made the first move. He stood up, looking intently down at her. "Kagome, I love you." With a hesitant smile he reached up and gently, haltingly, stroked her elegant neck. "I don't want you to be hurt."

Kagome's heart pounded, and she felt like she was swimming in a sea of sluggish sensations and nostaglia. She leaned into him, her hands running all over his back. Greedily, she pressed her curves up against his form and kissed his jaw line. In her mind, Inuyasha was someone else and this was her lover: a different, blank man. He was a warm distraction, with loving hands and sweet words.

They made love for the last time in the firelight. Kagome never did say, 'I love you'.


Sesshomaru opened the book, and thought of Rin.

His claws fingered the moonlit pages as he ran over the words fluently. 'Isn't it interesting how humans put words together like that?' He was sitting near to the cabin where Kagome and his half-brother slept. They were having sex—he could smell it from his seat beneath a tree near the edge of a clearing. He ignored the scent and read another page.

'Do humans really preach these values?' She'd said it was a famous novel, so he assumed that it was widely taught. 'Equality? Surely if a man is stronger, then he is stronger. If one is smarter and one dull, there are two different levels'. This conception of evening things out interested him. Would he be equal to a human then, in their modern views?

'Is this what most human females think?' The girl in the book wasn't as meek as Rin; still, so many times the character did things that would remind him of his young human. 'Fiction,' he thought, 'is a world through someone else's view.' A sudden question sprung to his mind. 'How did Rin see me?' He wondered that for the first time as his eyes trailed over sentences.

'Are human legal systems always this complicated?' He flipped another page quickly. He found himself sympathizing with the children and hoping for certain outcomes. 'Are all fictions designed to make you feel, or is this an exception?' Thrill bubbled in his chest as he skimmed over another chapter. He felt as if a new world had opened; one where the sunset brought joy and the rain wept. Emotions held him in the pages.

The book was finished before the sun rose. He was left with a lingering sense of injustice, and a strange longing. He wanted to dive into the words again and again, because everything was so important in the book and his life was so meaningless. He thought of Rin, left in a human village once she'd started to develop. He had the strange urge to track her down and ask her about her thoughts.

Feeling empty in some ways and full in others, he placed the book in the pocket of his pants. He watched the hut beneath the lightening sky. An unfamiliar sense of urgency gripped him: he wanted to find Kagome and ask her more about the book, about fiction, about life as a human. He'd given her a day to mourn. After dawn, he would fetch her. The cabin sat in his line of vision. He could smell the smoke, and below that the scent of stale love.

He ignored his twinge of jealousy and watched the warm colours shimmer on the clouds. For Sesshomaru, that sunrise seemed more vibrant than it had in years.


A/N- Okay, I may get people asking why Kagome slept with Inuyasha if this is a sesskag fic. Let me just state that Kagome is human. And humans make mistakes. Relationships don't' just 'end', with one party 'bad' and one 'good'. People have too many dimensions, and feelings get mucked up in the mix. This is a Sesshomaru-Kagome story.

Part of me felt that this chapter was a bit too short, but I think it said everything that was needed.

Oh-- and To Kill a Mockingbird belongs to Harper Lee. I'm not profiting off of this story

Thanks for reading. Please leave a comment/review!