Abby/Luka POV. Based on 'two ships' 12x08 and 'the human shield' 12x07. This is a new, changed version of "all I want to do is cry". The lyrics is from Tegan and Sara - Where does the good go & Nickelback – Far away. A big thanks to Ella (xEllax) beacuse she's one of the greatest people I know !
Just friends. Our friendship was too important, right? Yes, well maybe, maybe it is, after all. It's more important to be friends than lovers. But how could we keep going on after this? It just happened once, one time, one night. I was sad, lonely and I had let him come close. Pretend that it didn't happen. It sounds so easy, but it's not, it's Luka. The tall, sad guy that I kissed the first time in the ambulance bay so many years ago. 'I'm sorry' I told him after that, but I didn't mean it. Because I wanted to kiss him, like he wanted too kiss me yesterday. Right? Maybe it was just some comfort for him. He had let Sam be apart of his life, they had lived together for months but their relationship was over now. Maybe he really wanted to do it. The big smile that he gave me this 'morning', standing in his towel, was just for me. Ketchup on my eggs, he still remembers it. Why didn't I say something? I was too afraid, to let him know what I feel, to keep doing this. I wish that I wasn't so afraid of telling him. I wish he knew.
And how do you know, when to let go?
What if I had say something? What if I had told her that I wanted to be more, more than just friends. Whould she agree with that? Whould she say that she felt the same way? It was so long ago since we were together, since the day in the ambulance bay. I've tried to move on, move on with Sam. I tried so hard, but I failed. I thought that I felt the same for Sam, as felt once for Abby. I don't know, I don't think so. The feeling when I was with Sam, was weaker, weaker than how I felt for Abby. Abby looked so sad yesterday. She just wanted me to say something, something that would make the world right again. But to kiss her and to sleep with her didn't help her so much. The world is upside down once again and it's my fault. I can't stop thinking about us, if the flight accident never had happened. The talk in the bay wouldn't have happened either. But it did. So many questions but no answers. Keep on fighting for my feelings. Still hoping for the best.
Last chance, for one last dance
