Episode 1 Part 2:

For a moment neither party moved, Meredith felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach and knocked all the air out of her.

"Could you say that again?" Gavin whispered, clutching Meredith's hand so tightly she was convinced he was going to shut off her circulation.

"The blood test confirms it." The Doctor replied. "That was why you reacted so badly to the stimulant."

"And the baby?" Gavin gasped. "Could the drugs have harmed it in any way?"

"There is no way of telling at this stage...However I have arranged for one of our consultant paediatricians to come up and speak to you. He should be able to tell how far along you are and therefore any possible impact." He added before moving slowly away giving the couple some space. "I will be in my office if you need to speak to me, just ask the nurse to fetch me." He added as he turned and left.

"A baby! Our baby" Gavin whispered.

"Don't say that!" Meredith snapped, tugging her hand away and wrapping her arms round herself tightly. "It's a mistake, it has to be a mistake I'm on the pill and I never miss taking it....They've got it all wrong there is no way I can be pregnant!" She added determinedly. "They will just have to re run the test, some stupid technician probably got his reactions mixed up, or someone put the wrong label on a test tube it happens all the time!"

"But what if it's true?" Gavin whispered his eyes drifting to her midriff.

"It's not true!" Meredith retorted, her eyes meeting his for the first time before she looked away uncomfortable, unable to deal with the latent look of belief and hope in his eyes. "Stop looking at me like that!" She added.

"What do you expect me to do?" Gavin replied softly. "If it true then it's my...."

"Stop it!" Meredith gasped. "Stop turning all sentimental on me, it's not true don't you think I would know? And besides it's not like this would change anything..."

"It would change everything; you would be carrying my child...my only child!" He added seriously. "It would change us completely we would have to look seriously at what we were doing, none of this constant on off relationship nonsense....A child needs stability and security."

"There is not going to be any baby Gavin!" Meredith whispered cutting him off in mid flow.

"Look no matter how many times you keep saying that it does not make it true!" Gavin retorted. "If the doctor says you're pregnant then you probably are so we're going to have to face it sooner or later, its not the sort of thing you can just ignore you know!"

"No I mean even if I am...." She trailed off.

"You are not serious?" Gavin demanded his entire frame suddenly shaking as the implication behind her words struck home.

"I'm deadly serious! I am not the right person to be a parent, I never have been..."

"You can't just decide that." Gavin snorted. "It's my child as well and I'll be damned if I let you kill it without even a say so!"

"Prove it then!" Meredith snapped.

"What?" Gavin replied astounded.

"Prove you're the father." Meredith added.

"Don't be ridiculous of course its mine, how many other men have you been indulging in unprotected sex with over the last month or so?"

"That would be my business!" Meredith retorted and Gavin drew away as if she had slapped him, getting suddenly to his feet and for a moment she thought he would either strike her or combust from anger.

"No it is mine as well!" Gavin snorted for a moment looking her directly in the eye, grasping her chin viciously and glaring down at her. "Who else?"

"I...You don't know him, we only met once in a bar..." Meredith hedged, trying desperately to think of something, anything that might sound convincing.

"Liar!" Gavin crowed victoriously, letting go of her gently and bringing his hand to rest on the quilt over her stomach. "There hasn't been anyone else, this is my baby."

"What does it matter if it is yours I'm not changing my mind!" Meredith caved in, her entire body shaking from the shock. "I told you I can't do this..."

"Then let me!" Gavin pleaded, his entire demeanour changing suddenly as he gently grasped her hand. "If you don't want to raise the child then I will, just please don't make any rash decisions whatever the problem we can work round it, there is always another way!"

"What like you carrying it and giving birth instead?" Meredith scoffed. "And besides there might be extenuating factors what if the drugs have harmed it, would you still want it then? What if the doctors advised termination?"

"That is different!" Gavin snapped. "I am talking about a normal healthy baby, our child!"

"Stop saying that!" Meredith shrieked, causing the advancing consultant to stop dead in his tracks.

"Perhaps this isn't the best time?" He asked.

"No this is fine!" Meredith replied. "However it is getting somewhat stuffy in here, perhaps if I discuss this with you in private!" She added pointedly glaring at Gavin.

"If you would be so kind as to step outside sir?" The doctor asked.

"I'm not going anywhere, this is my child I have as much right to know about its chances as she does." Gavin retorted.

"I'm the patient and I do not want him here!" Meredith snapped.

"Sir please if you would step outside I would be delighted to discuss my findings with you later." The doctor replied. "And I understand some police officers have been hanging around hoping to talk to you, perhaps now would be the best time to get that paperwork over and done with?"

Grudgingly Gavin stormed out of the room, glancing back over his shoulder at the woman on the bed. "Don't do anything stupid whilst I'm away!" He whispered, but Meredith didn't even grace him with a look, keeping her eyes firmly locked on the opposite wall until he strode away, only then did she let the tears that had been threatening fall.

"Ms Gates?" The consultant queried. "Are sure you're alright to continue?"

"I'm fine!" Meredith snapped swiping at her tears.

"Well as I was saying lets take a look at you, now this might feel slightly uncomfortable..." He trailed off as he began to examine her, Meredith turning her head and staring resolutely at the curtain that surrounded her bed, ignoring the different pocks and prods as the doctor gave her the once over.

"Well now there are no signs of bruising or tearing, the heartbeat is nice and strong...Of course we'll know more when we do the ultrasound."

"No." Meredith gasped that won't be necessary. "I don't want this child...I certainly don't need to see it."

"That is of course your choice however I would suggest you discuss this over with a councillor and of course the baby's father and even so I would still recommend the ultrasound just so we can check you out for any other hidden injury you wouldn't need to look if you didn't want to."

"What is going to happen? Will I need an operation?" Meredith asked tentatively.

"Oh no, you're not that far gone I'd guess only four to six weeks so we'd give you a tablet that would cause you to miscarry, I'm not going to lie to you it won't be pleasant, or painless and you will feel significant discomfort for several weeks..."

"That I can deal with, when can we get this over with?" She demanded.

"I'll just ring down to Obs and see when we can fit you in for an ultrasound...I'll send a porter up to fetch you when its time." The Doctor replied. "If you change your mind?..."

"I won't, I'm certain about this!" Meredith replied coolly.

"Very well I'll get right on to it." He added moving to pull back the curtain.

"Doctor." Meredith called out, causing him to turn back towards her. "I don't want you discussing this with anyone."

"But the father...Your fiancé..." He spluttered.

"He's not my fiancé and there is not going to be any baby, I expect my medical details to remain confidential!" She added icily.

"Very well I will do as you say." The consultant replied sadly as he turned and walked away, resisting the temptation to shake his head, didn't she realise she was throwing away what some women would give up everything for.

"Thank you!" She called out distractedly trying to keep her thoughts for returning to what he had said, 'a nice strong heartbeat', shaking slightly Meredith resisted the urge to touch her stomach how could this be happening to her? It wasn't like there had been any signs, she hadn't been sick or dizzy, ok so she had skipped a period, that she should have noticed, but that could have been put down to the antibiotics she had been taking. Termination was the only option how on earth could she cope with a child full time, her lifestyle was hardly stable, not to mention she was the wrong type of person to be a mother far to wrapped up in her own world to put someone else first; she was self absorbed and selfish and she was the first to admit it. If she had this baby she would only ruin both of their lives, not to mention Gavin's besides he already was a father to three children, surely that was more than enough?

Suddenly her private musings were interrupted. "Ms Gates?" A nurse asked with a smile an orderly standing next to her with a waiting wheelchair.

"Yes?" Meredith replied.

"I've come take you to the other ward, if you'd care to pop this dressing gown on and get into the wheel chair, don't worry about your fluids I can take that needle out now..." She added, moving to disentangle Meredith from the veritable network of wires before helping her into the waiting chair. "Now Miguel here will take good care of you... And we'll see you back up here later." She added her forced smile returning once more.

Taking a deep breath Meredith glanced around the corridor as the porter wheeled her towards the lift, thankfully there was no sign of Gavin, that was the last thing she could deal with now, it was for the best and perhaps one day when he calmed down he would see that as well.

A few minutes later a now calmer Gavin re-entered the ward, it wasn't often that he smoked, most were post-coital but that scene with Meredith had had him reaching for them as soon as he was off the ward. Taking a deep breath he headed back in, he had to persuade her that together they could do this, she wouldn't have to be alone if only she'd let him in and stop fighting their relationship. However as he pulled back the curtain intent on launching into his speech the words suddenly stuck in his throat at the sight of her empty bed. Panicking now he dashed out grabbing hold of the first nurse he could find!

"Where is she?" He demanded shaking the terrified nurse roughly.

"I don't know...Let me go..." She screeched.

"Meredith Gates where has she gone?" Gavin repeated the vein in his neck standing out as the blood pounded through his brain, adrenaline flooding his system.

"I can't tell you..." She stuttered. "Medical confidentiality."

Dropping her like he had been burnt Gavin stalked off, searching each room on the floor, ignoring the exclamations of outrage from the other patients until finally bursting in on the consultant he had met earlier.

"Where is she?" He growled.

"I'm sorry, I really am but Ms Gates has instructed us not to reveal details of her treatment to you..." The doctor began.

"I'm not asking you to; just tell me where she is?" Gavin pleaded.

"I'm sorry sir but I doubt that would be something you want to hear!" The Doctor hinted, causing Gavin's face to fall, taking a deep breath he spoke calmly.

"Hypothetically speaking if someone were going for an abortion whereabouts would they end up?" Gavin asked cagily watching as the consultant's eyebrow shot up. "Not talking about any patient in particular." Gavin added.

"Well....I suppose the most likely place to look would be Obstetrics, in this hospital it's on the first floor." The doctor replied casually. "Without being at all specific, that lift would take you down to their reception." He added nodding across the hallway.

"Thank you." Gavin murmured, turning on his heel and breaking for the door.

Meanwhile downstairs Meredith had been thankfully sectioned off in a private room, but even so the memories of what she had just seen was fresh in her mind, she doubted very much it had been deliberate but even so being wheeled through the centre of Obs surrounded by heavily pregnant women and the sound of newborns crying out for their mother's had been like a knife her heart. I have to do this, she kept repeating over and over to herself, her resolve growing once more once she had been shut away on her own.

Suddenly the door opened and in walked the same consultant from earlier, his sad brown eyes locking momentarily with hers before he turned his attention to the nearby machinery, flicking switches and turning knobs until he was satisfied. Approaching her slowly he asked her to pull her gown up so he could squeeze the cold fluid on to her stomach before placing the sensitive sensor on top, moving it around for a minute before pausing. Unable to stop herself Meredith glanced over at the screen, her heart jumping into her throat as she thought she caught a flash of movement.

"There isn't any damage that I can see, of course it is still early on in pregnancy and so the chances of hidden future damage could be quite high, but you did receive counter drugs quickly so there is every chance the pregnancy could proceed without complications."

"I can't see anything." Meredith whispered.

"Well you wouldn't although the heart is beating from 28 days; your baby is still very small not much bigger than your thumb." He added pointing at a darker shaded area on the monitor and Meredith strained her eyes to make out anything.

"You wouldn't think anything was there at all!" Meredith murmured.

"Perhaps not visually, but this might help you..." He replied, placing another sensor onto her stomach and flicking a switch and suddenly the soft rapid thump of a heartbeat filled the air.

"Turn that off!" Meredith demanded, her entire body shaking and immediately the doctor complied.

"If you want to talk to that counsellor now..."

"No I told you I've made up my mind to terminate, that hasn't changed!" Meredith retorted sharply.

"If you're sure?" He asked again.

"Positive I just want to get on with my life!" She replied determinedly.

"I'll be right back then." He added swiftly, turning and walking out.

Meanwhile over in reception Gavin was haggling determinedly with the desk clerk. "Look I know she's here, just tell me what room!" He finally demanded, his already stretched patience finally exhausted.

"Yes and I keep telling you sir that information is classified!"

"But it's my baby too!" Gavin exclaimed. "Doesn't that count for anything?"

"I'm very sorry sir." The clerk replied a genuine expression of remorse on her face. "But I can't help you."

"Fine then I'll find her myself!" Gavin snorted ignoring the protests of the clerk as she called for security and heading off into the maternity unit. - - - - - -

Slowly the door opened, glancing up from the bed Meredith watched dumb struck as the consultant handed her a glass of water and a tiny plastic cup containing a little orange pill.

"You can take all the time you need..." He began but suddenly the noise of a scuffle outside drew his attention. "I'll be right back." He added charging towards the door.

"No it's alright I'd rather do this right away!" Meredith replied picking the pill out of the container and bringing it to her lips just as the consultant left her to it.

- - - - - "Where is she?" Gavin demanded trying to free himself from the iron grip of the security guards as the consultant approached him.

"Please you have to tell me I can't just let her do this, she's not thinking clearly..."

"I'm sorry..." The Doctor began, shaking his head sadly.

"What do you mean you're sorry?" Gavin demanded breaking free and pinning the poor man up against the wall by his sweats.

"You're too late." The doctor simply added, reaching up to pat Gavin's shoulder sympathetically. "She was most adamant and we have no choice but respect the wishes of our patient!"

"You mean you've already killed it!" Gavin gasped, releasing him and staggering backward as if stabbed to collapse against the wall.

"I'm very sorry...If you want to see her then perhaps I can try and persuade her to see you..." He added.

"No." Gavin replied softly, getting to his feet. "I don't want to see her; I don't think I could bear to look at her ever again. I'm sorry about the mess." He added glancing apologetically around the disarrayed ward.

"It's alright, but I think perhaps it would be best if you went home now." The doctor replied as Gavin walked around in circles.

"Yes..." He replied distractedly, letting his feet guide him towards the exit, unable to think or feel anything but a numb emptiness; pulling out his cell phone he quickly dialled for Danny, grunting only a few words to his associate before he snapped it shut. He had to hold it together he was Gavin Cochran for Christ sakes, but even so he couldn't help the tears that sprung to his eyes, why did this keep happening to him, was he cursed never to hold a child of his own? - - - - -

"I'm sorry about the noise Ms Gates..." One of the young nurses whispered as she popped her head round the door. "If you're all finished in here then I can get one of the orderlies to take you back up to your ward."

"Actually I'd like to talk to the consultant again if I may...You see there's been a change of plan." Meredith added; smiling nervously as she handed back the glass water and plastic pot complete with orange pill. "I guess I'm ready to be a mum after all!"