Author's Note: Ding dong Joe and a Clarisse are gone. That's right folks. Those stories will have to go over to the movies section. I know I won't miss them at all.
Here is an update for your troubles.
MICHAEL:
Oh. Shit. She went ahead and did it. That bitch. She waited until she thought Mia was out of the country. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I remembered that night. Mia was off with Felix in San Francisco for the weekend and I was completely bumming out.
Elle suggested I try some of her herbal cigarettes. I hadn't realized that by herbal she meant marijuana. I'd tried it before, when I was in college. With Mia. Neither of us liked it very much and only tried it three or four times.
So anyways, I was high as a kite that night. So I was saying the stupidest shit on the tape. I started bragging about the size of my weiner. Crap.
"Mia…" I said finally, looking at her. She was staring into her lap, tears coming down slowly. "Baby, that was before I was with you. I hardly remember that night."
"She's making you look like a fool just so she can get fame," she said finally after what seemed like forever. "How can she do that? Doesn't she have a heart?"
She wasn't pissed at me? "What?"
"You thought I was crying cuz of you? Michael, I know I'm not the only woman you've ever slept with. I know you slept with her. You've told me about this before. But this was forever ago. I mean,just look at how skinny you were. I love you, but you aren't twenty two anymore."
I feigned a mad face.
"I...I just didn't expect her to actually do this."
"It's perfect timing for her, I guess," I said with a sigh, putting my chin on her knees. "What with her big movie shoot and everything. Plus, you have been seen with the ring around in pictures. People knows now about it basically. Perfect time for revenge."
She sighed, "I'm ready for bed."
"Me too," I said in return. Wanting to forget it all. Everything.
The next few days we avoided going outside. I answered a phone call from Jesse Turner, from Jester. "Dude, we're back in the city. P Diddy is having this invite only party. We have to go. Think of all the chicks we'd meet-"
"I'd love to," I lied, looking at Mia as she slept lazily on my belly. "But Mia's home. She kind of wants me to stick around her for awhile. You know what it's like, right?"
"Dude, why are you with her? Haven't you seen the tail you could have? Or just take it without her knowing. Not a big deal."
I shook my head. "I'm all set. Sorry man."
We met up with Louie for dinner a few times and made it clear that we were still together through this. But that didn't stop them from asking questions when they caught us.
"Princess, are you okay with this tape being out? What do you think about your competition?"
Mia rolled her eyes, and stuck up her left hand and pointed to her ring finger. "I'm the one marrying him. That video was from years ago. When he was a kid practically. He's all grown up now and-"
"Married? So the reports are true?"
I waved them off. She was doing an interview with her brother for the Today show the next morning.
"I hate Katie Couric," she whined in her makeup chair. "She's so effing perky. And seriously who is that tan in New York in the winter? She's the same tint all year round. It's sick."
I kissed her forehead and heard a flash go off. "People magazine," the photographer replied. "Hi Mia."
"Oh! Jeff!" she greeted jumping up. "Here, get a real shot of us," she said posing with me.
"Mia, I look like crap," I argued, eating a banana.
She tried to grab it from me but I posed with it for the camera. "That'll be a funny one," the guy said with a laugh.
"Hear that baby? He says I'm funny," I said kissing her cheek. She made a face.
We wrapped our arms around one another and smiled for this Jeff fellow.
I suddenly felt like second banana. Everyone was more interested in seeing her than me. I guess I'll join Nick Lachey in that club.
MIA:
Louie and I sat next to one another on the couch. I had been here before as a performer, but not been inside the studio. I hoped I didn't sound like a moron.
I smiled at Michael off camera, eating yet another banana. At least he's getting some fiber in his diet instead of candy. "Your highness," Katie started, "Before Louie came onto the scene you were poised to take the position as heir to the Genovian throne…now that his position is in question, what will you do next?" she said in her 'I look like I'm doing a Number Two' way.
I looked at Louie and squeezed his hand. "Support my brother and future crowned prince of Genovia. But I'll do it over here. Stateside. With my band."
"Louie, you are the center of all this mystery. Do you know the man who is making the allegations?"
"No M'am. I have never met him. He says he helped raise me but I was raised in a farmhouse in Connecticut by my mother and grandparents. No siblings or father figures."
"Why would he come out now about this news?"
He looked at me, "I don't know. No idea at all."
Katie continued the interview and lightened it up at the end by asking about my and Michael's engagement. I peeked over at him in a director's chair. He looked up and shrugged. "Um, I guess its okay to say we're engaged," I said softly.
"That's great news!" Katie said cheerfully. "We're looking forward to a big royal wedding."
Michael looked pained. He did not want a big old fashioned wedding. I didn't either, but I had to pacify my grandmother.
The camera got off of us and Katie grabbed my hand, "It's a lovely ring. He has very nice taste."
I smiled, "Well, he's chosen me so he must," I said with a wink. I looked at Louie who looked really bad. "We best be running. Nice seeing you again Miss Couric."
I left with Michael and Louie in tow. They were discussing some big golf tournament. I'm glad Louie isn't stressing out too much about all this…geez.
That night Michael and I were eating a quiet dinner alone when there was knock on the door. "Who the hell is that?" I asked.
Michael shrugged. "Stay here," he said getting up and kissing my forehead. "I'll get rid of who ever it is."
I peeked out after he greeted our visitor. "Hey," he said quietly.
"C'mon. Courtside seats," some guy that looked vaguely familiar said to him excitedly.
"Oh I can't," Michael replied. Dur. Michael HATES basketball. Anyone could tell you that. "I mean, I want to, but I can't. I'm here with Mia.",
"Dude, women," the guy replied. "Too much work. Don't you think she's too difficult? Too much trouble? I mean, with the whole brother thing and princess shit and stuff."
"Nah," Michael said shakily.
"No? Or how about how she's always there? Always watching you? Don't you get sick of seeing her all the time?"
This was interesting.
"Course not," Michael replied. "Look, I gotta go. I'm making the dessert tonight."
"Mr. Housewife, huh?" the guy replied. "Better watch out. She'll start to take all the spotlight and you'll be left to the dust."
Michael shut the door and I went back to my plate, pretending to be fascinated by my spaghetti. "Hey," I said as he returned. "Who was that?"
"No one," he replied, kissing my cheek. "Just someone found out where we lived and wanted an autograph."
I was amazed how he lied to me so easily. He didn't even rub his nose out of nervousness. I decided to let it go.
The next morning he was out before I had even woken up. He hadn't left a note, which was very much unlike him, so I called. "Oh sorry babe," he replied, holding back a laugh. "I'm just having a breakfast meeting. I didn't mention it?"
"Oh, no. Who with?" I asked casually.
"Just some guys from the label."
"Is everyone else there?" I asked curiously.
"No," he replied. "I'm just discussing some…creative things."
"Oh. Well, I think I'm gonna go see Louie."
"Okay."
Silence. "And I'll see you this afternoon?"
"Oh, I can't. Photo shoot. For the new album."
"I…I wanted to talk to you about the album."
"Sweetie I can't really talk right now. Can we talk later?"
"But—"
"Love you, bye."
