Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Spoilers: SS arc, and the arc after that. (Manga)
Warnings: Can't think of any, actually.
Aloha, Kenpachi!
PART II
Chapter 7: Poker Night
There was a round table set up in the 11th division's kitchen. Sake was to the right on a smaller table, along with snacks. There was a deck of cards in the middle of the table, along with wooden chips used for gambling. It had been set up just the same as it was every week, while Kenpachi had been getting Yachiru to bed.
Or at least, tried to. Yachiru was pouting. "I want to play poker, too, Ken chan!" She protested. She looked cute in her pink striped pajamas, her arms wrapped around a stuffed toy that looked a lot like him. He paused, once again wondering where in the hell she had gotten it. "Where'd that ugly thing come from?" He asked, trying to distract her.
"Big booby gave it to me! She made it." Yachiru said with a nod. "But you're changing the subject. I want to play poker!"
"You got paid this morning, why do you need to play poker?" He asked. He was sitting on the edge of her bed, his legs spread slightly, his elbows resting on his knees. He had to turn his head to look at her.
"I spent it already."
"You spent—" He cursed. "You don't need more candy." He told her as he stood. "Go to sleep, brat."
"Ken chaaaan!"
"You want the bribe dinner tomorrow night?" He asked.
"…Yeah."
"Then go to sleep."
"That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair, brat. Get used to it." He closed the door on her pout, feeling like an ass. But it was for her own good. Well, someone's good. His subordinates didn't make nearly enough cash to keep her in candy, especially with both Yumichika and Ikkaku in the living world.
"Zaraki Taichou!" The subordinates that were setting up the table said, their reaction to his presence instantaneous.
"Shuddup." He muttered. "And get me a bottle of sake."
"Aye aye!"
The knock at the door made him glance over. Kyouraku Taichou waved as he sauntered in, his bottle of sake already dangling between his fingers, his dopy straw hat tilted jauntily over one eye. The pink of his overcoat made Kenpachi snort as it always did. But all he did was sit in his usual spot and shuffle the deck as Shunsui dropped down in his own spot.
Kenpachi wasn't sure how the other captain had learned of the poker game, nor why he let the smarmy bastard play, but it had been going on for over ten years now, so he didn't bother to ask. Captains made good money, so he figured the more captains that played the better off the grunts would be. At least if he had thought about it, he would have figured that. (The only captain he would refuse would be Kurotsuchi.) That and there was always the chance that the card game would lead to a fight. Damn but that would be fun… Only so far it never had.
A few of his other division dropped down in their seats, but it seemed a bit empty without Ikkaku and Yumichika. Kenpachi ignored it. "That everyone?" He asked.
A knock sounded at the door. Shunsui glanced up lazily, only to almost fall over as Unohana walked in, followed by Isane and, shockingly enough, Nanao. "Nanao chaaaan! You have decided to take me away from this den of iniquity!" Shunsui called out dramatically.
"We've decided to join you, if we may." Unohana said politely.
"Taichou—" Isane started out. Then she stopped and sighed as Kenpachi roughly motioned to the mat next to him, without even looking up.
"Zaraki Taichou, females?"
"Zaraki Taichou, that's—that's—that's Unohana Taichou!" Another whispered loudly. He was pale and trembling at the very thought. Kenpachi shot him a disgusted look. But he understood, sadly enough.
"Shuddup, baka." He muttered. "Don't piss her off."
"Nanao chan can sit on my lap, since we don't have enough room." Shunsui said, reaching out for his fukutaichou. His hand "accidentally" brushed her upper thigh, then stayed there. BAM! She hit him upside the head with her book.
"It's no wonder I can't get a fight out of you." Kenpachi muttered with a glance over at the pink wearing captain. "All that hitting upside the head's probably given you brain damage."
A smirk twitched at Shunsui's lips. "Jealous, Kenpachi?"
Kenpachi's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, only to blink as Unohana calmly took the deck of cards from his hand. "I believe five card stud should work, don't you think?" She asked as she started dealing the cards. A sitting mat was produced for Nanao, just because the grunts were afraid of getting knocked up the head with the book of doom, as well. She sat next to her captain, taking her cards up as if she were quite familiar with the game.
The game started off well enough, the steady sound of cards being discarded and chips being tossed into the center of the table the only sounds, save for a few words here and there when someone lost a game. The sake ran freely, and the more sake the male captains had, the more their tongues were loosened.
"Nanao chan has the most adorable…" Shunsui said as the conversation slowly deteriorated. "Mole."
"Yeah, yeah, we've heard it a million times." Kenpachi muttered as he took another drink. He had given up on cups long before.
"Taichou…" Nanao said warningly. "I would appreciate you not discussing the mole, please."
"It's right… right here under the neck of her gi." He went on blearily. "You can see it when she moves… just… right." His fingers brushed over the mole before she shoved his arm away. "Nanao chan? Kawaii, kawaii Nanao chan?" He asked as she stood abruptly.
"I need some fresh air." She said, putting her cards down.
"Awwww…" Shunsui said, pouting as she walked away.
"You dealt from the bottom of the deck again." Kenpachi said. His division jerked, looking shocked. They hadn't seen anything.
"Oh, would you look at that!" Shunsui exclaimed. "I did!" He reached out, pulling the cards back with a speed so fast that it blurred in front of their already blurry eyes.
Kenpachi glared at him, earning a cheerful grin. "Ahh…" He finally muttered. "You're dealing now." He said, taking the cards from Shunsui and handing it to one of his subordinates.
"Hai, Taichou."
"Does that happen often?" Unohana asked.
"Only when he's drunk enough to get horny."
"I…" Shunsui said lazily. "Do not have to be drunk to be horny."
This started a familiar argument amongst the table that distracted them enough that they didn't notice the small pink haired girl slipping into the room and taking Nanao's seat. Shunsui smiled cheerfully and turned to look at her. "Nanao chan! You got… shorter!" He said, drunkenly hugging the little girl.
"Robe man smells funny!" Yachiru said with a giggle before she shoved him off. "I want to play!"
"Che, brat. Shouldn't you be asleep by now?" Kenpachi asked, his eye narrowed on the man sitting next to her. Even if he was drunk, he shouldn't be touching Yachiru. But the odds of Shunsui being as drunk as he acted were rather low.
"Maki-maki, deal me in!"
"Ah—hai, Kusajishi fukutaichou." Maki-maki said, earning an irritable look from his captain.
The game got noisier after that. Yachiru had marvelous luck, especially when she and Unohana were the only ones still completely sober.
"Sooo…" Shunsui drawled as he leaned forward a little while later. Nanao had never come back, it seemed. But he didn't mind too much. He would see her in the morning, after all. "You two went on a vacation together?"
"Three!" Yachiru said before he could insinuate something. "We went to the beach!"
"I believed a vacation was much needed before things got worse." Unohana said calmly.
"True, I would take Nanao chan to the beach if she wanted." Shunsui said. "Beautiful Nanao chan in a skimpy little bikini… bliss! Rapture!"
"Baka." Kenpachi added.
"Baka!" Shunsui repeated. "Wait." He muttered, glaring blurrily at the other captain. "My Nanao chan is no baka—"
"Not her. You."
"Oh. Then that's ok." Shunsui replied, going back to his daydream about Nanao in a bikini.
"If I say she's a baka will you fight me?" Kenpachi asked, excitement flaring in his eyes. He lurched forward, too drunk to be coordinated, only to stop as Yachiru squealed.
"I win!"
"Damn." He muttered. "I'm too drunk for this." He said as he awkwardly got to his feet. "And you… should be in bed." He finished, picking Yachiru up by the back of her pajamas like a puppy by the scruff.
"Kennn chaaaan!" Yachiru protested. "I wooon!"
"You didn't bet anything." He replied, hauling her off to bed. "You can't win if you don't bet."
"Awww!"
Shunsui looked at Unohana, sober as a priest. Isane was knocked out cold next to her Taichou, snoring loudly. But Unohana was in complete control. "You know what you're doing?" Shunsui asked.
"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking." Unohana said calmly.
"He's not quite sane, you know."
"Very few of the captains are." She replied right before Kenpachi came back in. Shunsui's face returned to that slightly glazed expression and he stood.
"Time for me… to get some sleep." He said, rocking slightly as he headed for the door. "I'll be back next Friday!"
"Che, as if I would stop you." Kenpachi muttered, dropping back down on his chair.
"We should be going as well, I'm afraid." Unohana said.
"Oye… Maki…" Kenpachi said to the half drunk subordinate. "Carry the girl back, would you? Last thing I need is someone left drunk at the table in the morning."
"Ha—hai, Zara—Kara—Taichou." Maki maki said, getting wobbily to his feet and picking up Isane. "She's a real… handful, this one, isn't she?" He asked.
"Keep your hands to yourself, dumbass."
"Ha—hai, Taichou!" He said as he headed out the door.
"Thank you for the card game, Kenpachi." Unohana said as she stood. Her hand dropped gently to his shoulder. But it sent a strange shudder through his body that he couldn't explain. "I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Huh?"
"Your checkup."
"Ah… right. Whatever." He muttered. He felt somehow abandoned when her hand left him. What the hell was wrong with him?
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