Never say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders. I only own Taya and whomever else I come up with.

Chapter one: Almost lost

Pony's Pov:

Waking up is getting harder and harder everyday. It's been like that since Johnny and Dally died. I feel like I don't have a reason to. It's my fault that Johnny went into the church and got burned and died. It's my fault that Dally robbed a store and was shot and killed by the police. I'm the one to blame for their deaths. Soda and Darry have told me a million times that I should try and forget about it since it's been three months, but I cant. The scars wont let me. About a month ago I was so depressed that I couldn't function normally and while I was cleaning the bathroom one of Darry's razors fell and cut my arm. Seeing the blood drip down my arm was strangely…relaxing. It felt good. And I've been cutting myself ever since. It helps me get by. Don't tell anyone though. They would send me away if they knew.

Today when Soda finally managed to drag me out of bed and tell me to get ready for school, something was different. I couldn't feel anything. Not his hand on my shoulder or anything. A voice in the back of mind kept saying something but I couldn't understand it. At least not until I found myself in the bathroom, holding a razor gently against my wrist. Earlier I had somehow managed to write a short note to Soda explain everything. I gave it to him before he left and told him not to open it until he was at work. That would give me time. I waited for everyone to leave and walked to the bathroom and locked the door. Standing over the sink with towels on the floor so it wouldn't be all that messy. I wiped away a tear that was running down my cheek, closed my eyes and slit my wrist. I almost passed out when I saw the blood but I didn't. Instead I started crying and sat on the floor by the shower. But then I thought of Johnny and Dally and how it was my fault that they were dead and I stopped crying and waited for death to come and take me away. Away from all the people whom I loved and who loved me back. Away from the guilt of killing my friends, away from everything. It's getting a little dark and cold now. And I'm real tired. I think I'll just go to sleep, ok?

Soda's Pov:

"You going to read that note yet buddy?" my best friend asked and threw a dirty rag at me. I had almost forgotten about the note Pony had given me. He looked so sad and just so…empty. It scared me to think that my once happy little brother was like that. I pulled the note out of my pocket and opened it. After reading a few lines my heart almost stopped beating:

Dear Soda,

I'm sorry that I caused you and Darry so much trouble and I'm sorry I ruined your lives. It's just that I can't take it any more Soda. I killed Johnny and Dally and I can't live knowing that because of me they're dead. I just…I love you Soda. And can you tell Darry that I love him too? I'm sorry.

Ponyboy Curtis

"Steve call Darry and tell him to meet me at the hospital as soon as possible! I have to go!" a million thins were running through my mind right then. Ponyboy, my little brother, was going to kill himself. I ran to Steve's car and got in. I think I drove faster than ever and before I knew it I was home and running inside. I knew he would be in the bathroom so that's where I went. The door was locked so I kicked it down only to see Pony sitting on the floor covered in blood that was gushing from his left wrist. I ran over to him and sat next to him "wake up Pony! God please wake up" but he didn't. And he was real pale. I picked him up and ran out to the car and put him in the front seat and rushed to the hospital hoping that it wasn't to late to save him. 'Please god don't let him die. Please god not now, not like this. Please don't take my brother from me' that's what was running through my head the whole drive to the hospital. If Pony died I don't know what I would do. I'd probably go insane.

Ok so that's the first chapter! I know I should update my other stories first but I wanted to get this all down before I forgot. See I came up with the idea last night in a dream and it's been in my head all day just waiting to be typed up. So please review. Tell me if I should change anything and tell me if you have any ideas for future chapters. Flames are allowed. And I will defiantly update my other stories before Friday, Saturday at the latest. Oh and the title will fit into the story in a few chapters. –Hailey.