Chapter Eleven: Gorganaut's Wrath
Link was staring at a fifty-foot giant, with muscles the size of Ganondorf. His mouth was full of cracked, broken and frankly disgusting teeth, with a rotten breath to match. His eyes were blue but bloodshot, and his hair was matted and greasy with filth. Along with this, Gorganaut carried a massive mace that was even bigger than Link's Skull Hammer, in hands that were the size of Link's shield. When Link looked at Gorganaut, a puddle formed at his feet, an unusual reaction for the Hero of Time.
" Who are you, tiny person?" boomed Gorganaut, pointing to Link with an extremely long nail.
" Link…" whispered Link.
" Hmm…You are not the one who took Din's Harp from me while I slumbered…But you hold it in your hand…Who gave it to you?" asked Gorganaut.
" I don't know. But he had black armour, a black horse and an eye that changed into all of the colours of the rainbow…" replied Link in a small voice.
" WHAT! I cannot believe that Zephyrian would steal Din's Harp from me. I've got half a mind to-"
" Wait…Did you say Zephyrian? That's wrong, because Zephyrian's making me collect Din's Harp."
" Why did he make you? He could have easily got it himself."
" He could have got it…himself?" repeated Link through clenched teeth.
" Yes. But that's beside the point. The point is, he is trying to have Din's Harp taken away from me, and that is something I cannot allow. Prepare yourself, tiny Link!" roared Gorganaut, lifting his mace above his head.
" Before you have a chance to pummel me into the ground, let me just say one thing…You're shorter than I expected."
" SHORTER? I'M THE OGRE KING!"
" Yeah, an Ogre King that could use some toothpaste. Have you ever heard of 'minty-freshness'?"
" 'Minty-freshness'?"
" Yeah. While you're at it, why not get a lovely haircut? Get it trimmed and wash out the years of filth. Then you could have a manicure for your nails, and some eye-drops…You know what I think?"
" What?"
" That underneath all of that giant brutishness, there's a sweet, clean and gentle Ogre King. Do you want to be a better person? Do you want to be a kind, beautiful and polite Ogre King?"
" Yeah…Yeah, I do!"
" Then head to Hyrule Castle Town, and look for the Hyrulean Beauty Salon. I'm sure that they need a real challenge."
" Thanks. I'll head there straight away! Oh, I guess I need to give you a gift…Here, this is my Troll Mace." replied Gorganaut. He handed Link his Troll Mace, then he turned and thundered off into the distance in Hyrule's direction. As Link waved him off, Navi appeared on his shoulder.
" Hey, where've you been?" asked Link.
" Hiding in your bag…" replied Navi, ashamed. " I guess it was your idea to make him run off so you didn't have to fight him all along?"
" No…It was a spur of the moment thing."
" I cannot believe that just worked." said Navi, shaking her head.
" I…spy….with my little eye…something beginning with…S."
" Sleep."
" Yeah, right. Whatever…"
" No, I meant sleep, Zelda. As in, go to sleep." said Ganondorf.
" Thanks for offering, but you don't have to go to sleep for my benefit…"
" How would me going to sleep benefit you?" Ganondorf asked a sleeping Zelda. " Zelda? Zelda!"
" Leave her be. She needs her rest." pointed out Grandma.
" I know I've been imprisoned for what is probably over a hundred years…But this is so god-damn BORING!"
" Shush, dear. Oh, I wish I wasn't in this darned crystal. Orca will be expecting dinner. I should be making my Elixir Soup." said Grandma.
" Orca? What's Orca got to do with your dinner?" asked Ganondorf curiously.
" Well…" replied Grandma, blushing. " Orca and I have become great friend in the past few years, and I felt that since he has only his brother to eat with, we should invite him for dinner."
" Uh-huh. And what about Orca's brother?"
" Who?"
" Orca's brother, the big-headed one. I forget his name. Won't he feel left out?"
" Oh, him. He moved out years ago. He wanted to learn about the outside world more, so he decided to travel anywhere and everywhere. I can't say I'm not glad he left."
" And why would that be?"
" Well…" said Grandma again uncomfortably. " I don't know how to say this nicely…"
" He was a nerd, and you fancied the fit brother." finished Ganondorf for her.
" Yes, I suppose you could put it that way." replied Grandma, blushing deeper.
" Okay, I have officially broken the tradition of being a powerful villain by talking to my arch-enemy's grandma about her personal life!"
" Well Link, what do we do now?" asked Navi.
" I don't know. I mean, this could be Din's Harp, but then again Diego said to watch out for fake instruments. And we still have to find a musician that can play it." replied Link.
" Maybe we could find one on the Isle of Sirenia." suggested Navi.
" That's a good idea. Is there any other people apart from Gorganaut actually living there?"
" Yes. Gorganaut like to keep merpeople and sirens as slaves to fetch seafood and to sing to him."
" So we're trying to find a mermaid-" Link thought aloud.
" Or merman." interjected Navi
" Or merman, or a siren, that is of the right blood to play Din's Harp?"
" Looks like it."
" Great. Another several miles of walking. I'm not really a morning person, you know."
A/N: I hope you find this chapter funny, because it made me chuckle while writing it. Also, I still need name suggestions for the black armoured stranger, because he'll be making a special appearance in the next few chapters.
