Disclaimer: If you think I own Red Dwarf you have obviously have been at the Mariwana Gin and require medical help and a strait jacket!

Right, well here it is - the next chapter (Bex yells 'YAY!' in the background for like the millionth time) it's really short but trust me the next one is much longer and full of our crew been... them.


Unexpected Arrival

The four crew mates materialised at the back of the mid section, with cat looking as disorientated as usual, Rimmer a lot smugger than usual, and Lister in what Kryten would describe as "Panic Overload".

"Guys we've gotta go back!" Lister begged turning to Kryten and Rimmer.

"Sir, we cannot - You are not designed to know your own future." Kryten protested as Rimmer continued to grin widely, his 6 centauries of hell already a distant memory.

Cat meanwhile was staring in a kind of stupefied state at the child in the laundry basket, the scent of the child mixed with Rimmer and Lister's long johns was a bit overpowering and Cat couldn't really understand why the others hadn't noticed the kid – Extra sensory nerves or not.

"Ohhhhh Listy! Looks like there's some trouble in store for you!" Rimmer cackled, his nasal laugh irritating everyone present except Nirvana who seemed to be totally unaware of the gang of misfits standing just metres from her.

"Errr buds?" Cat spoke up after a moment, but gaining only Kryten's attention who on seeing the child responded with his eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as he stared in horror at the tiny baby.

"Shut the smeg up Rimmer – Or I will take you back to your people!" Lister threatened menacingly, causing Rimmer to do a double take in fright then try to recover his stance with a glare.

"Sirs?" Kryten questioned, unsure of the reason for the Child's presence and the correct action to be taken.

"You can shut up and all! All I wanted was one more minute! Thanks to you I'm gonna be wound tighter than one of those little planes you wind up then let go, and they go smashing into a wall causing a mini explosion!" Lister ranted, and moaned before crossing his arms sulkily.

"Both logic and reality taking a serious hit today!" Rimmer muttered as he rolled his eyes causing Lister to take a threatening step towards him.

"And I thought I'd gone a bit peculiar!" He added after he had backed out of Lister's swiping distance.

"Guys!" Cat said a bit more forcefully.

"WHAT?" Lister and Rimmer yelled together, the former in anger and the latter in semi panic.

"I think we've got a problem." Cat replied as he pointed to the baby who whimpered and began to cry.