Disclaimer: I don't own the West wing...like someone would belive me if I'd say that anyway. I do applaud the people who do, because they did a remarkable job on it!
Summary: Post-ep: Transition. Josh and Donna are on the airplane, and he listens to a Bon Jovi song...and he figures things out.
Always
The way Josh said „hey" to her made her skin tingle. She loved his voice; so soft, but sexy as hell. And that voice just told her how he wanted her to go with him. It was the first time he said something like that to her. Sure, he babbled something that morning, about their night being nice on the terms of niceness, but she didn't count that. This was the time that he looked her deep in her eyes and said the sentence that made her believe that everything will be OK. She leaned forward and kissed him; for the first time in front of other people. No one knew them on that plane, but still it made things more serious. They weren't hidden behind hotel doors or his door; they were on a plane, among other people, flying to Hawaii. She didn't have to hold back anymore...She was in love with him, there was no doubt in her mind. She loved him for years and people saw that...she knew that. But, now she could only hope that he will come to the same conclusion.
3 weeks, 6 days to go...
Josh sat back and a thought that he just kissed Donna Moss in the airplane full of people has crossed his mind. And he didn't feel awkward about that. Actually, it made him a bit horny and he was remembering some people's stories about having sex on the plane. But he knew that it would be a bad idea...the fact they were both members of the next administration put a stop to that idea. He realized that there were no papers on his knees, nothing work related. He didn't have to think about anything...He glanced at Donna who was now browsing through some brochures and he remembered the whole day. Everyone was telling him that he needed a life. And today he finally got it. While looking through the airplane window he reached and took Donna's hand in his and intertwined their fingers. He knew she was watching him, and the next thing he felt her grip on his hand. He knew that he needed her in his life, but he didn't know how to make that happen. Will he be able to express it?
3 weeks, 6 days to go...
After they took off, Donna reached for her bag and got her Discman out. She enjoyed music, and she never had the time for it. Especially not on planes. Normally, she would be working. But, since Josh fell asleep, she decided that it was a good time to listen to some cd's. She glanced toward Josh and couldn't help but smile. He looked so cute asleep, and she knew he was exhausted. He needed sleep and she thought: if he sleeps now, he will be less tired when they get to Hawaii, and they will be able to do something „fun". She took the Bon Jovi cd which she got on the campaign. Too bad they were so involved with work and she couldn't enjoy the fact that Jon Bon Jovi was with them. Not that he comes even close to Josh...
The cd contained Bon Jovi's greatest hits and she leaned back and started the first song.
Josh was wakened by the soft humming coming from Donna. He turned around and saw that she was listening to something with her eyes closed. She didn't know he was looking at her. And he did...he slowly glanced over her face features, then he moved lower and then...she opened her eyes.
„What are you looking at?" – she smugly asked.
„Ah...your shirt?" – he answered with a question.
„My shirt? I don't think it would fit you." – she smiled and took out her earphones.
„Actually, I was trying to figure out how to take it off quickly." – he smiled back showing her his dimples.
„I hope you didn't mean to do it on the plane."
„Well, a thought crossed my mind, but since we're both going to be Chief of staffs, I realized that it wouldn't be a good idea."
She was shocked by his honesty, but more she was shocked by the fact that he concluded that she will accept the position Mrs. Santos offered her.
„I still haven't accepted the job." – she looked him in the eyes.
„I know that...I just thought since you said that you can't work for me anymore..."
"I can't." – she chipped in.
„I know. It would be awkward and we had enough of that. And you will be great at that position." – he sounded honest and he felt honest for the first time in a while. And by the look on Donna's face, he knew that he was doing at least something right. She had a teary look on her face and he knew that he couldn't bear to see her cry. Even if it would be from happiness. So he took her Discman from her.
„What are you listening?"
„Bon Jovi." – she smiled knowing what his reaction will be.
„Oh, not him again!" – he growled. – „Seriously, I thought Lou was going to jump him on that plane."
„Yeah, she was totally stalking him. But, he gave me this cd and I love his songs. Come on, don't tell me you don't like his songs."
He sighed thinking how he would never admit to anyone that he liked Bon Jovi.
„They're OK, I guess." – he managed to mutter, but he made a silent promise that he will never say something like that again.
She knew that he was embarrassed and she decided to push things a bit further.
"You know, I remember the first time I bought his CD. I was 15 and I was…"
"You were how old!" – he squeaked.
She tried to keep her face straight as she continued.
"Well, it was 1986, so I was 15." – she slowly said. – "And you were, let's see…ahm…28!"
Josh's face was frozen and suddenly he felt weird. Like he was doing something wrong. And he knew that he wasn't. On the other hand, Donna was observing Josh's face that was literally screaming now.
"I guess it's good we haven't met then, huh?" – she asked still fighting the urge to laugh as she saw how slowly he turned his head towards head throwing her a look that would kill. However she wasn't able to hide the little smirk on her face.
"OK, I got it. You're young and I'm old. Give me that discman. I'd rather listen to Bon Jovi than listen to you telling me how old I am."
She started to laugh and handed him the earphones. It was good to joke like that. And she knew he wasn't taking her seriously. And she will have the chance to prove him just how much she doesn't care about his age. She saw his body. Nothing on it screamed: old.
Josh threw her one last glare before he put the earphones on. He pressed Play and a slow song started. He didn't recognize it and he leaned back and closed his eyes.
"At least it will put me to sleep again." – he thought.
This Romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up.
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But
without you I give up.
Josh's eyes snapped open when he eard the lines. Not wanting to cause attention he closed them again, although his heartbeat accelerated. Something about this reminded him of him and Donna...
Now I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But
baby, that's just me.
And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day – Always.
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And
I'll love you – Always
The pictures in his head started to fall in place and he felt like his heart will jump out of his chest. It was very hard for him not to move, but he didn't want Donna to think that something was wrong. So, he continued to listen…and things got even more clearer…
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye.
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've
made mistakes, I'm just a man.
She said goodbye once, and they managed to get through that. It was his fault as well; he knew that. He opened his eyes a little, still not enough for Donna to see, and he looked at her while the song continued…
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To
say to you till the end of time
Then, he realized. He could've lost her to another man. It's not like they weren't waiting in line. And all because he was afraid and too preoccupied to see what was in front of him.
Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day – Always
If you told me to cry for you,
I could
If you told me to die for you,
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To
say these words to you.
And he knew then…he could and he would…
Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll
find a place where the sun still shines.
That was all he needed. He took the earphones out in a flash, scaring even Donna.
"What's wrong? Don't tell me the songs were that bad."
"No…ahm…" – he took a deep breath trying to find the best words. – "What's the timeline?"
Her face showed worry and she looked down before answering him.
"3 weeks and 5 days now, I guess."
"Yeah, I thought so…" – he exhaled and with determination he took her hand in his. – "I'm not gonna need all that time."
She looked up.
"Excuse me?"
His mouth opened and closed a few time as he tried to keep his eyes locked with hers.
"I love you."
Donna's eyebrow shot up.
"You love me?"
"Yes."
"You love me?"
"Again, the answer is yes. It hasn't changed in last second or so."
"Are you insane?"
"Depends on who you ask."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I figured it out."
"Now? You figured it out now?"
"Yes."
"What happened now?"
That was the moment Josh didn't expect. He really didn't want to give her the real reason, but he knew that he had to. The stewardess gave them a look while she was passing, and he realized that they must look ridiculous; taking fast, not making any sense. Except, it made perfect sense. They were just them.
"It's the song."
"The song?" – she was more then confused.
"Yeah!" – he raised his hands! – "Jon has a point!"
"Jon?"
"Yeah! He's right! I've been miserable since you left me after Gaza! And I was a fighter with you and without you, it was all different." – he started to ramble. – "And we laughed, and we cried together and there are pictures of us doing exactly that! And I know that some of those pictures made you leave! And I've made mistakes! But…you know, I'm just a man! And I wouldn't be able to bear if someone else came into the picture, and held you, and told you the things I wanted to say. There!"
He finished his rant and he finally looked Donna in the eyes. Usually he was able to read her, but now it was hard. It was almost as she was trying not to burst into laugher, but on the other hand, she had tears in her eyes.
"Well?" – he carefully asked.
"Jon is a very smart man." – she smiled.
"Yeah. Remind me when we get back that I arrange that meeting he wanted." – he was relieved that Donna took this OK. Even though he wasn't entirely sure.
"You know…" – she started seriously. – "There are other things too. I mean, if we will work, we need to find time for ourselves."
"We will." – he quickly said.
"And, we need to communicate."
"I don't think we have problems with that." – he chuckled knowing how, if anything, they knew how to talk.
"I mean, about serious things, Josh."
"Look, Donna, you know no one can give us any guarantees. I know I love you, and that I'll try not to screw up, too much. And you'll have to tell me when I do. Because, you know me. But, all we can really do is…"
"Live on a prayer?" – she chuckled not being able to hold back anymore. During his rant she was barely hanging on. He was really cute, but she would be lying if she said that she didn't wish that she had some sort of tape recorder with her. No one would believe her this way. But she turned serious when she saw his stare.
"I tell you I love you and you make fun of me?"
"Yes."
"You're mean."
" Well." – she sighed. – "That's me and It's my life, and it's now or never…"
"OK, stop!"
She gave him a smile that melted his heart and he had to smile back. They looked at each other for a minute or so and Donna took her discman back from him.
"So, I'm your Gina and you're my Tommy?."
"You're mean."
"But you love me anyway?" – she asked only now hearing the words. They were real…
"Yeah, I'll love you anyway." – he reached and took her hand again. He leaned back and closed his eyes again. She watched him for a minute thinking how he looked more relaxed somehow, more calm. She knew that it wasn't only from the fact that he'll be taking a vacation. It was because he finally accepted the fact that he needed a life and that he needed someone else in it. And he chose her.
"Hey, Josh?"
"Yeah?" – he asked not opening his eyes.
She took a deep breath as she was trying to tell him some terrible truth.
"I love you, too."
He opened her eyes, gave her a full dimple smile and closed them again.
"Yeah, I knew that."
A/N – It was hard to write something since the ep had the perfect ending. It was a perfect episode!
But, I wanted to write at least something.
Let me know what you think!
