It might sound like he's lying to himself, but Nagisa's never really been Karma's type.

Karma never really understood the whole sexuality thing. Since he's been able to like anyone, he's only ever really liked guys. He had more priorities than that kind of thing anyway, in his teenage years. Sure, he tried it with a girl once, but that was more confirmation than anything. He never rejected the idea of liking guys either, it's just his own normal. It's not like he hides it, though he quickly figured out a lot of guys do.

University made him more experimental, possibly. It's a lot easier for that in the Tokyo metropolis. Enough so, at least, that he figures out what he likes pretty quick. Karma has no qualms with his height, but it does seem to make it harder to find what he wants. Cutesy guys? Not really for him. When he likes guys, he mostly likes manly men, someone who's muscular enough to hold him down and pound him until he's satisfied.

But the thing is, Karma's almost twenty-four now. It's not like he can only strictly sleep with one kind of person, but the opportunity for his preference appears less and less. At least topping increases the chance of it being good. Honestly, though? It's kind of a waste of energy. Increasingly, he'd rather take the opportunity to sharpen his mind with a few extra hours of sleep.

Nagisa definitely falls on the 'cutesy' side of the scale. It's not like Karma can't objectively see his attractive qualities, it's just not really what he's mainly into. Everyone who's ever looked at Nagisa can see he's attractive in that soft way. But Karma doesn't spend so much time thinking about it. Nagisa's his best friend, after all. It would be weird to focus on him like that.

And yet here he is. Even though his hair's shorter now, he still maintains those same androgynous qualities which forces people to have to really look at him to figure it out. He hasn't grown at all since they were fifteen, and he's still just as slender and delicate looking. Of course, Karma knows better. He's been beat up by him, after all. But that's what Nagisa is, cute.

And super innocent, apparently? One the one hand, he can hardly believe that. Considering how many people blatantly to date him in junior high alone. He's just… surprised nobody's tried to pick him up yet. Or maybe they have, and Nagisa just rejected them, but from the way he's talking about it, it seems like that isn't the case. It does make sense, though. Honestly, he just assumed Nagisa was too shy and polite to bring it up. After all, it's not like he feels the need to share his sex life details either.

He didn't mean for it to get this far.

There's alcohol involved, sure, but that doesn't really explain why he's letting Nagisa attempt to give him a hand job. He bites his tongue to prevent himself from suggesting maybe Nagisa doesn't have a dick after all, because he's acting like he's never touched one before. Seriously, jerking off is a universal thing.

So Karma gives him a helping hand. At least that way, he's actually giving this a purpose. He can explain away whatever the hell this is. If Nagisa ever does get himself into a situation like this again, at least he won't embarrass himself. It's not as bad now he's basically just jerking himself off, is it? So what if Nagisa's hand is also there?

But then Nagisa gets a bit of confidence, and knocks his hand away. Damn. His boner twitches at that, a mind of its own apparently. The amount of aggression in that one motion though, the determination on Nagisa's face now, it's kind of a turn on. Nagisa seems to get that, too, because he does it with even more vigour, finally moving in a good way.

"Y-yeah," Karma says, a little surprised at the strain in his own voice, "like that."

Personally, he's not much of a talker during sex. In fact, he usually finds it a bit annoying. There's better ways to use your mouth. But he doesn't want Nagisa to stop, actually. Just like this is fine. Nagisa takes his as a signal to speed up even further, surely to the point it'll make his arm ache, though he doesn't complain. Karma forces himself to close his eyes. He shouldn't be enjoying this on more than a surface level. And he needs to stop staring at Nagisa, really. This is just a one time favour.

But then Nagisa falters. "H-how am I doing?"

Karma looks at him again. Way to make yourself sound even more like a virgin. Is Nagisa really that nervous? He thought he'd just about got over that. Somehow, that makes Karma feel worse about this entire thing. Nagisa doesn't know what he's doing because he really hasn't done this before. It wouldn't be right for Karma to tease him, not as much as he wants to anyway.

"Just fine," he gets out.

It feels like it could be dangerous to say more. It doesn't matter, because that's apparently enough feedback for Nagisa to continue properly again. But there's heat in his eyes, like he's turned on too. In fact, just a glance at his crotch tells Karma that. Huh. Sure the situation is a bit weird, but he could have written this off. What's an instructive hand job between friends? But… Nagisa's clearly into it, getting hard just from doing this to him. He has to grip the kotatsu at the thought, holding himself there, lest he thrust his hips into it and scare him or something. The reality is, the Nagisa part of it makes the sensation five times more than it should have been.

He comes faster than he should have. Just from this. Just from a kind of lousy hand job? In any other situation, he would have been embarrassed. And to make matters worse, Nagisa's still going. Seriously? Maybe he actually hasn't got himself off before.

"Stop."

Nagisa lets him go instantly. And, okay, now it's awkward. What's he supposed to do now? Thankfully, the discomfort from the condom that started this whole mess gets to him, and he disposes of it quickly. But that doesn't change the fact that he's sitting here half naked, and by the looks of things, Nagisa's worse for wear and doesn't know what to do with himself.

It's not exactly pity, that he feels, but maybe something like it. Nagisa tried his best, didn't he? Maybe… maybe he should know what a hand job is actually supposed to feel like. Nagisa's not his type, not strictly, but there's something intriguing about how he looks right now. It's something Karma's never seen on him before, and definitely wouldn't have been able to imagine.

"Okay," he convinces himself, "your trousers look uncomfortable."

Nagisa jolts with surprise, pressing his thighs together as though that's going to help. "Oh."

This is still just helping a friend. Karma's not sure if it's even possible that he's never jerked himself off, but knowing Nagisa, anything's possible. It's an interesting sound, that he makes. It's not quite a moan, but there's something a little heavier than pure surprise. He wants to hear a sound like that again.

"How about I return the favour?"

"What?!"

Too much? Nagisa's not used to this. Clearly. And some part of Karma is responding to it. It's rare that Nagisa trusts him so much. For once, he's not that interested in scaring him away. But he wants this. He's never wanted to just jerk someone off more than this. Knowing that he'd be the one to show him the way? Of course, there's other things Nagisa doesn't know, such as basic sex etiquette. It would be wrong not to teach him that.

"It's polite," he explains frankly.

"I-I-"

Perhaps he needs more convincing. "You can't learn without knowing how it feels, right?"

"Okay-"

Consent given, Karma finds himself wasting no time. He practically dives for him, pulling him out of his trousers and ouch, that looks painful, like it's been neglected too long. He hesitates for just a second, though. It's not like it's the first time he's seen him naked, but never like this. He's not his type at all, but something tugs at him. Well, he's already signed his own death warrant at this point, so may as well have fun on the way down. And Nagisa? He's so responsive. Maybe if Karma was still a teenager, he'd be getting hard again himself.

How could he not? He's never seen someone this into something so basic. But Nagisa's moaning like he's rocking his world or something. He seems to have lost control of his body function. Worst of all, he's saying Karma's name and that absolutely does something to him. He feels possessive, lit up, like he wants to do this time and time again. Yet somehow, Nagisa seems like he's attempting to hold back still.

"It's okay Nagisa, you can let go."

Almost on command, he does. And wow. If he thought Nagisa looked good before, he looks even better when he's coming. His moans are like music, and his face looks like he's reached some kind of higher consciousness. This can't have been his first orgasm ever, right? Karma doesn't think so at least, but with the amount of overwhelm he gets, he's sure it's not a regular thing.

He needs to think.

At least Nagisa's release all over his hand is enough of an excuse to move away from him for a moment. What was that? Why is that the most he's enjoyed anything sexual in a long time? It shouldn't have been good. Was it even good? And why did it have to be with Nagisa? Knowing him, he's going to freak out over this, and then where will they be? He's messed up, hasn't he?

Karma shakes his head. As fun as that was, it's not worth losing Nagisa over. He just needs to take the first step in this. As long as he makes it so their friendship can remain intact… So he has to say something. Make Nagisa know it's okay to just keep on going, and either be okay with this or agree to pretend like this never happened.

"Uh, Nagisa-" He starts, popping out of the bathroom again.

Nagisa practically jumps out of his skin. "Look at the time! I don't want to miss the last train!"

It's like some sort of spell has broken. He does have a point, though. It'll be worse if he ends up having to crash here. In fact, Karma's not sure what he'd do in that situation. He doesn't generally let a hook up spend the night. But it would be a bit weird to make him sleep on the floor or sofa like he normally would after doing that. Weirder still would be sharing his bed. Whatever the case, it's not the time to sit down and talk about it.

"Right, you'll be stuck here."

Nagisa hurries to fix his clothes, clearly unsteady as he rushes to the door. "T-thank you f-for the lesson. It was helpful!"

For a moment, Karma's surprised by that, but he finds it reassuring. So Nagisa will go with the whole lesson thing? That's fine by him. They're going to just be okay with what happened. Karma was just helping him out, that's all. No need to make their friendship awkward. And this? Typical Nagisa behaviour. He just needs to process it and move on.

"Any time," he says.

Nagisa just lowers his head, and like that he's gone, scurrying off into the night.

Karma groans into his own hands. Is he really okay with this himself? Nagisa's his friend. His best friend, probably. He's always been off limits. Karma wasn't even sure if he was into guys… until right now, maybe. Karma's never been attracted to him. Wouldn't he have known by now if he was? There'd been many sleepovers between them over the years, two school trips with shared bathing, endless opportunities for something to transpire. It has to just be a blip, a lack of judgement influenced by alcohol.

He doesn't mean to let it happen again either.

But then there he is, one week later, giving Nagisa the blowjob of his life and enjoying every second of it. He's never been particularly into giving them, considering the effort and general unpleasantness. But here he is, set on fire by the way he's tearing Nagisa apart. And the way Nagisa's just letting him, spreading himself eagerly, rocking his hips into it. It does something. Yeah, if you thought hand jobs were great, you have another thing coming.

So what if he had to come up with some kind of excuse? But it's not coming from a bad place. Really! It's true that Nagisa has no idea what he's doing, and Karma has the capacity to help him. It's a win win situation. It's only because he cares enough about him, as his best friend, and recognises that he could do with his help. And anyway, it's great for Karma, to regularly let off some steam. For one, it's way easier than pursuing any other kind of hook up. There's definitely worse ways to spend his time. And if Nagisa gets to learn some things? His future partner can write him a thank you note.

It's kind of fun, actually.

Over the next few weeks, he starts to get the whole teacher thing. And the way Nagisa listens to everything he says earnestly? He takes it in stride, returning the next time like he's genuinely gone away and researched it. Seeing him open up, slowly but surely, makes him almost proud. He's not sure what Nagisa's been so worried about, anyway. If he carries on like this, he could show anyone a good time.

Teaching is also hard, though. There's a finite amount of sex stuff they can do. Even to the point where Nagisa's suggesting things… and Karma knows that it can't just be as innocent as hand stuff anymore. Even sucking him off isn't necessarily that personal. But the moment he has his lips… he can't pretend it's not Nagisa.

Nagisa is an insane kisser. He finally understands why it's the only class he's ever beat him in.

But that's part of it, isn't it? It's hardly his fault for enjoying it a bit too much. Nagisa's really skilled, so of course it's going to feel good. So good he even lets him mark him up. Karma would have pushed literally anyone else away if they even tried it. But why him? It's not like he enjoys feeling Nagisa on him for days. It's not like there's a part of him that makes him want it to last longer.

It's not technically wrong, though. He's even ended up making out with other people he's had a friends thing with in the past. It's kind of awkward if it's completely off the cards, anyway. So it's perfectly fine if he kisses Nagisa and enjoys the hell out of it. There's not much further they can take this, anyway.

"I want to go further," Nagisa says one day, undermining everything. "We've done everything else now, so we should go the full way."

Admittedly, it catches Karma off guard. It was naïve of him to think otherwise, because of course when you promise to teach someone about sex, that's going to involve actually having sex. He just hadn't expected Nagisa to take the initiative in suggesting it. Potentially, Karma's been dragging things out a little, though. What happens after they do it anyway? He can't exactly teach him more at that point.

Hand and mouth stuff, that he can justify, but actually having sex with him… To be honest, finding new ways to tease him, to make him shudder, and best of all to let his voice ring out (since he has no shame, apparently)… Karma can't say he doesn't enjoy that. Even letting himself picture what it might be like to do everything

He's not sure if he's about to pop the most epic boner of his life, or if he's just plain terrified.

"I-it's what this is all building up to, isn't it?" Nagisa continues.

What, now he's pressing the issue? He's really playing with Karma's self-restraint here, he's only human. He has to reply now, or else Nagisa will think he broke him or something. Isn't he meant to be the 'expert' here? His teenage self would be laughing himself to death right now. That, or he'd be halfway through with taking him up on the offer already.

"You just surprised me," Karma admits. And then he thinks about it. "Are you sure?"

He doesn't want Nagisa to do this just because he thinks he has to for some reason. This entire thing only started because of a condom, anyway. A part of him might even want Nagisa to back out.

"If it's inevitable."

It's like the confirmation of his fears. Honestly, Karma's not sure how to go about any of this. He's never cared too much about 'virginity'. It seems stupid to have a whole label for whether someone has or hasn't done something. But it clearly matters to Nagisa on some sort of level… and maybe he deserves better than this?

As far as Karma knows, at least, he hasn't been someone's first. And that's more than okay with him, everyone knows what they signed up to. It's kind of hard to make a blowjob feel bad, but full on sex? Nagisa might straight up hate it. He's hooked up with people like that before, and it's whatever. Anal can be an acquired taste. It's probably going to hurt him. Karma had to do it with three people before actually deciding he liked it.

Maybe he should suggest Nagisa tops?

He can't really imagine that happening. Nagisa might be getting bolder, but he's rarely more than passive. Even though he's the one asking for this now… He's not sure Nagisa would actually go through with it. Not with the amount Karma's had to guide him so far… Which leads him right back to square one.

At least he can try and make it good? Most guys wouldn't bother. In fact, maybe it's a good thing. He'd be saving him from a lot of trial and error. He cares about him. It's probably the best way, if he shows him how things should actually go. And, Nagisa is explicitly asking for this. But it's a lot of responsibility he's not sure how to handle. Though, Nagisa does seem pretty determined, even though Karma tries to give him several outs.

After all of that, though, it doesn't even end up happening the next time he sees him.

It's kind of Karma's fault. But he can't be blamed. With Nagisa being that turned on just from his fingers? There was no physical way Karma could have held himself back. He'd even had to jerk himself off because he'd been that hard. Sure, it was a little awkward at first, but once Nagisa opened up, he opened. And Karma's felt too much now. Now he knows how hot it is inside him. Heard Nagisa cry his name when he comes. Felt him clench tight around his fingers… and pictured how much better the real thing would feel.

It clears up his doubts, at least. Nagisa definitely wants to have sex.

He's not his usual type, but it's like some kind of Pandora's box. Like he's putting on glasses for the first time, and the world stopped being blurry. Nagisa may be more of the soft, cutesy type… but he's still hot. The expressions he gives on his face are worth just as much as rippling abs. And his ass. He's literally being converted into an ass guy at this point, because it's so perfect it looks straight up sculpted.

It's okay, because Nagisa's still his friend. His friend, who asked for this, and clearly wants it.

Karma's not a bad person for agreeing.