Holy Guacamole! I got so much positive feedback. Iam defiantly inspired. For the plot followers, this is my favorite chapter yet so...enjoy!

Disclaimer: What the point of saying you don't own it when you automatically know "I don't own Kingdom Hearts Dammit!", when you see the word "discalaimer"?

Chapter 4: 'Social Problems' Doesn't Begin to Cover It.

The sound of running water ceased less than a second later. The dead silence in the room seemed to make Cloud give a scary, half-mouthed smile while Riku looked both amused and very curious. Sora was either nervous or scared, which it was, he couldn't quite tell. The door of the washroom was flung open and hit the wall behind it with probably enough force to leave a good sized hole.

The one standing in the doorway looked so pissed off that he could have melted steel with his gaze. His waist-length silver hair was plastered to his porcelain colored skin, letting water begin to puddle on the carpet. Holding a towel on his waist with his hand, he flexed his other hand in a way that suggested that they had no idea at all how angry he was or even that he was contemplating casting a spell on each and everyone one of them. Eventually, his venomous green-eyed glare found its way to Cloud, who looked up from his magazine, managing to keep a stoic expression upon his face. This seemed to only aggravate the silver-haired one more. "I am going to kill you..." the boy hissed again in a quieter, but more sinister tone.

Raising an eyebrow, Cloud simply replied, "Good evening to you too, Sephiroth."

Riku was watching the spectacle with interest, while Sora had fallen off his bed in surprise.

The other roommate didn't seem to find Cloud's nonchalant response satisfactory. "Do you know how I'm going to kill you?" Sephiroth hissed. Cloud returned his eyes to his magazine and smiled slightly as if the words were more of a comfort to him than a threat. But Sephiroth continued by going into explicit detail that shouldn't be mentioned. "...then I'll cut off your limbs, put them into a blender, and feed it to your girlfriend through a bendy straw!"

Cloud flipped a page of his magazine. "Feel free to try."

Sephiroth turned a light shade of crimson as if Cloud had been stringing him along, just to end with that very statement. "No. I already have detention." He sneered while saying this in a way that was reminiscent of every Hollywood bad-guy Sora had ever seen. He whipped around, "accidentally" smacking Cloud in the face with his wet hair.

Cloud smiled maniacally. "As you're here, dear Sephy, is there anything you wanna say?"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Did I mention that I hate you?"

"Yes," Cloud said. "Every day of my life. But by now I've come to expect it."

Sephiroth slammed the washroom door. "GOOD! I HOPE THOSE WORDS ECHO THROUGHOUT YOUR SKULL FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAMNED EXISTANCE!"

"You too, Sephy-kun," Cloud said in a sugary-sweet voice, then flicked off the door. Riku smiled slightly.

"I think I'm going to like it here," Riku coughed.

"D-do you think he even knows we're here?" Sora asked, after climbing back onto his bed. "I think he was too enraged to notice…"

Riku shrugged and took a daring step into the dirty half of the room. "I happened to notice that your roommate makes a lot of empty threats. For all the death threats he makes, he hasn't...murdered you yet."

The blond laughed. "I'm sure he's tried."

"And," Riku said, turning to Sora and winking, "I'm pretty sure Leon told us that we weren't supposed to have girls in the room." Sora's eyes grew wide.

A noise that sounded suspiciously like glass being broken over the sink reached their ears. "Are you begging for an early death?" the menacing voice shrieked. "I have ears!"

Riku flinched knowing that soon enough he would be the one receiving the empty threats.

Sora sighed and plopped back onto the bed that he was presently ceased to be on. "Why don't you ever two every duke it out? You know, settle it once and for all?" said Sora as he twiddled his chain crown necklace.

Cloud's eyebrows rose once, as he shrugged as if he hadn't really thought about it too much.

"I'm SEED('Student Educational Environmental Director' he added rather quickly) for the school which unfortunately includes Sephiroth, and apparently supposed to set a good example for everybody. So if Sephiroth wanted to start something (which he does anyway) or I for that matter, we still wouldn't even shake our pretty little heads at such a thought. We'd be out of this school and on a plane for another boarding school in only a matter of seconds."

The enraged roommate they now knew to be Sephiroth reappeared from the washroom, this time fully clothed, but still steaming like a kettle. Making a b-line for his blond-haired aggravator, he snatched the magazine out of his hands and tore it in two. Obviously no longer having something to hide behind, Cloud jumped to his feet, and…well, the conflict began.

Riku shuddered at the sounds of Sephiroth and Cloud's bickering, so he and Sora talked their ways into small oasis. This new roommate of theirs, was quite the 'character', which was the most civil way they could think of to say he was completely out of his mind. Riku was swung around only top find himself face to face with a nostril flaring angel of death whose eyes screamed 'You're in my personal BUBBLE!'.

"Let's get this straight pretty boy," said Sephiroth as he rather rudely pressed his index finger to Riku's forehead, "You stay on your quarter of this room, and if I see one spec of dust on this floor, there will be consequences."

"You're more of a pretty boy than I am dumbass!" yelled Riku as he flung Sephiroth's hand from his head.

"What did you say...Jap?" said Sephiroth with a insidious smile. Riku just about exploded.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, YOU AMERICAN HILLBILLY WOMAN!"

The woman comment didn't sit well with Sephiroth.

His eyes grew rather narrow as he lashed out and began to beat Riku's head in (with a pillow, seeing at how he'd never see the light of day again, though in general he wouldn't really care, had he used his blade, as he intended to).

Cloud sprang to and confiscated the rather feathery pillow from his roommate. "You idiot! Do you want to get expelled!" He threw the pillow to his 'dirty' quarter of the room where it was immediately swallowed.

Sephiroth cringed and looked particularly maddened, "You know what Strife? There are times when I think it might actually be WORTH IT!" He screamed as the temperature of the room fell slightly.

Cloud blinked several times displaying a delayed reaction. "Fine then," Cloud said as he walked over to the small coffee table on Riku's quarter and grabbed the phone. "If that's really what you think...916-"

Sephiroth's eyes widened considerably "NO!" He dove in for the phone, missing as cloud moved out of the way just in time. "Please, don't!" Sephiroth looked like he was having an inner struggle, contemplating his next choice of words. " I'll, I'll beg..."

Cloud suddenly had that evil look he had been working toward for awhile now. "Okay, fine, beg..."

The other cringed as he slowly rose from the ground. He definitely had no intention of begging any time soon.

"I said beg!" yelled Cloud smirking.

"Fine! Please, please...pretty please! Put down...the phone..." Sephiroth said bowing lower, and lower to the ground. He would never hear the end of this.

Cloud smiled maliciously and placed the phone on the hook. However, Sephiroth was two steps ahead when he reached out like lightening and ripped the phone cord from the wall. "Ha! Now you can never turn me in you blonde, evil, SEED you!" laughed Sephiroth, taking a victorious pose while he cackled in a way that made Riku suspect that he enjoyed tying young women to train tracks.

Cloud shrugged and turned, pulling out his rather small cell phone and dialing the head master's office.

"NO! Don't! I beg of you!" screeched Sephiroth, as he fell to the ground begging like a dog.

Riku and Sora watched from afar as Sephiroth reached up trying to grab the cell from Cloud as he glared down at the evil angel.

"I'll do anything I swear! Just don't call Ansem! No!"

It was obvious that Sephiroth shared Riku's irrational fear of school officials.

Cloud tapped his fingers on his teeth , pondering the torture he could inflict. "Depends my dear Sephiroth," he said. "How much are you willing to trade for your freedom. Its come at a very high cost."

Riku snickered under his breath. Sora wondered how far both of them would take this.

"Anything!"

Cloud pondered on this for a moment. "Anything you say?" he said as his natural ability to torture poor Sephy came into full throttle. "You know what you have too do…" he winked. "Involving the fuzzy handcuffs and the lotion."

Riku and Sora coughed loudly, their eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. For a moment, Sephiroth mimicked their expressions, but that all changed when his face darkened considerably and a thin, but definitely suspicious, smirk laced his lips.

A maniacal plan began to form in Sephiroth's mind. "Fine," Sephiroth whispered seductively.

It was Cloud's turn to bug out.

"What!" Cloud coughed. "I was kidding!"

That only made the smirk grow wider. Sephiroth got up from his begging on the floor, walking around the other side of the blond and hugging him around the waist. "And then I can tell the whole damn school that 'cloudy-chan' is my boyfriend!"

"No! They'll never believe you!" Cloud stuttered, beginning to look very uncomfortable.

Sephiroth shrugged. "I have two witnesses, cloud dearest," Sephiroth said glancing over at Riku and Sora. Damn, he'd noticed them after all.

"Fine! Fine! You know what? We're even! Cloud exclaimed. "I have dirt on you, you have dirt on me! Happy now?"

"Why yes, yes I am Cloud...We have an agreement of silence, do we not?" Sephiroth said, the same creepy smile gracing his features. "You keep my secret of violence, and I keep your secret of," he seemed to be searching for the appropriate noun. "…queerness."

"I'm not gay," Cloud mumbled, addressing no one in particular. Riku clapped loudly. He had rather enjoyed the show.

"What are you doing? Trying to convince yourself?"

"Shut up Black!"

"Well you didn't deny it!"

"You're gay, Cloud?" a tall figure stepped through the doorway. He raised an eyebrow over crimson eyes. Cloud looked almost mortified.

"No, Vince, I'm as strait as a line," Cloud said coughing. "A very, very strait line."

"Only if you took said straight line and bent it over a chair, sure Strife," Sephiroth said, inspecting Riku very closely, as if scanning for a foreign disease. "Hey pretty boy, you need a shower, or wash your cloths, or both if you please".

Vincent rolled his eyes. "Anyway, Cloud, Sephiroth, people I don't know, lights out in five," he paused. "By the way Sephiroth, you've got something on your shirt". With that, Vincent walked down the hall.

Cloud smiled. "See, too many neat freaks?"

"LIGHTS OUT, OR I'LL PUT YOUR LIGHTS OUT!" Everyone flinched.


Sora rolled over in his bed, unable to sleep for a number of reasons. "Would someone tell him to put his light out?" Sora whined.

"Sephiroth...shut off your PS2," Cloud yawned.

"No."

"NOW."

"I just have to beat the Phantom!" Sephiroth said, his fingers hitting the buttons continuously, the small key-wielding boy on the screen sparkling and flying around a grim-reaper like boss.

"I'm sure Ansem would love too hear how you've been playing Kingdom Hearts for over an hour," Cloud threatened.

"Fine," Sephiroth sneered, resisting the urge to chuck the game controller at any of his roommates. "Just ruin my fun."

"Goodnight Sora," Cloud yawned.

"Night!"

"Goodnight Riku"

"I'm talking in my sleep, don't mind me."

"Goodnight Sephiroth."

"I'll get you when you least expect it."

"Night Sephy-kun," Riku sneered.

"Consequences, pretty boy, consequences…"

"SPEED DIAL BLACK, SPEED DIAL!"

Throughout the castle, a cacophony of disturbing noises erupted.

"Don't you dare!"

"Oh I wou- put that sword away!"

Someone screamed bloody murder, but the rest of castle, each person recognized the sound groggily and went back to bed. It was only the nightly routine after all.


OMG! I luv all my reviewers! weeps like she won a grammy

Revlis: here's that update. Um, thanks, I happen to like the way a portrayed Ansem, so I'm glad to hear someone else liked it too!

Anthroprincess: Well, all that bugging me worked. Here's your update! mumble, mumble Thanx...

Chaz: Thanx so much! I'm glad to hear it makes you laugh. If that last chapter was funny, than you must have split your sides on this one. What a great compliment...you make me feel like JK Rowling or something. Blah. Hehehe.

Stealth Wolf: Yay! You got an account! Its nice to know I "rule". I'm getting so many compliments! starts to cry from sheer happiness

Hanako: Well, the answer to your question was in this chappy. Oh, Cloud is "Partially

mechanical" because (edit: this was changed recently so that it slips on and off) because in KH he had that metal claw, which oddly resembles a claw belonging to FF7's Vincent Valentine.

Leann-chan: Thank you. I hoped you liked the Ansem part.

EpitaphDragoness: It takes 239 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop! Oo My cousin knows too. I tried once, but ended up biting. Arigato.

DragonRose13: back! Crazy Squall Fangirl! Thanx, I think you might like this chapter...with your mind and all.

Thekatgrl: nods head cloud is there to be loved.

CLOUD-FANATIK88- whoa...slow down. Um, I don't think I'll pair Cloud and Leon...I've never actually seen THAT pairing before... ;. It will be Shounen Ai tho. I have many plans...Mwahahaha! (Edit: okay, so I've seen CxL now…XD)

This chapter has been edited, and reposted, due to a certain author's inability to use good grammar. There has been no change in the story plot, so for those of you that have read this chapter before, there really isn't anything different about it, except for the correction of some errors and a couple of lines added.