Shooting Stars

Chapter Two: Small Changes


Author's notes: And I'm back, all of twelve or thirteen hours after the first chapter. Huzzah for speed-writing!

Lots happens here! For one, as I promised, we meet Ryuichi, and I think I want him even more now. Also, we have the first semi-collaboration on a song between Noriko and Tohma, and the interesting results it has on Tohma's idea of his future. No Uesugis here, just a good healthy dose of piko piko Noriko-chan doing what she does best… making Tohma feel guilty :giggle:

Yes, the song is written by me. If it sounds a little young and wistful, well, it's meant to; she was only eighteen when writing these lyrics after all!

Disclaimer: If no one will sell me Ryuichi, I'll settle for Kumagoro… still don't own anyone you recognize, although Rie, Akane, Kiriko and Midori are mine.


"When I was little, Okaasan couldn't get me to stop climbing trees and terrorizing the local boys long enough to get me cleaned up and presentable," Noriko-san said, absently twirling her chopsticks in the air over her untouched noodles. It was about three in the morning, and after the café had kicked us out, she had dragged me, protesting all the way, into a twenty-four hour Zenny's around the corner and informed me that I was going to feed her. Giving in to the inevitable, I had ordered her a plate of noodles and myself a cup of coffee. I had known her for three years now, and her eccentricities (such as noodles at three in the morning) had stopped seeming quite so… eccentric.

"Hard to imagine," I said politely, sipping at my coffee.

"Well, the only time I seemed satisfied to be a girl was when I got to play music," she said and shrugged. "I play everything, you know. Violin, flute, oboe, trumpet, some saxophone. I even played around with percussion for a while until it drove Oniichan crazy and he convinced my parents drums weren't ladylike and had them taken away." She grinned at me. "I retaliated a week later by putting extra curry powder into his bento, at which point I'm told he turned purple and ran out on the girl he liked, but we won't get into that."

Despite myself, I smiled. "We can leave that alone," I agreed.

"Anyway, I liked the piano best," she continued. "I guess after a while they figured that out, because Otousan somehow managed to scrape up enough to buy an upright and send me to piano school after regular school. I was about eight at the time. I've been playing ever since. They come to my recitals and everything, and my parents brag about me at parties."

"I think I was too young when I started to remember," I told her. "But I've never played in public before."

"No recitals? Nothing?" she asked, shocked.

"No," I shook my head. "I had a private teacher from the time I was very young until I finished high school."

"Well, you must have played for your family, at least," she insisted.

Again, I shook my head. "My mother doesn't like noise, and my father is never home," I said with a lack of care that clearly surprised her.

"But why did they pay for the lessons?" she wanted to know. "A private teacher must be expensive!"

I felt a little uncomfortable. "Expense isn't a consideration where my father is concerned," I said at last. "I suppose I had the lessons so that I could have a well-rounded education. It was lucky that I love to play, or I would never have learned anything."

"That just sounds… uncomfortable," Noriko-san finally said. "That's not the way my family is at all."

"Oh, I don't mind, really," I said. "I wasn't unhappy. The family takes excellent care of me."

"That's not all that families are supposed to do," she grumbled, and finally took a bite of her cold noodles. "Aren't you ever lonely?"

"Lonely?" It was a foreign concept. "No, I don't suppose I care enough to be lonely," I said at last.

"Do you have ice water in your veins, Tohma-kun?" she asked, exasperation clear in her voice. "Doesn't anything move you?"

"Music," I answered immediately, without thinking. "I feel different when I play." Perhaps the defining point was that I felt, period. I had started to suspect I had gone through life rather easily up to this point. After all, I had never cared enough about anything to rebel against the course that had been carefully set for me, and through Noriko-san I was learning that most people didn't live like that.

"Music," she repeated. "It shows. You are different when you play." At my surprised look, she only reached across for my coffee, sipped at it, then set it back on its saucer. "I watch you. You're changing. Every time you play, you look a little less inhibited, but you slam down a wall of indifference as soon as you stand from the piano. Why?"

Was I indifferent? Probably. "Saa..." I replied abstractly.

"I'm going to graduate this year," she said. "I'm not taking the college entrance exams, although Otousan wouldn't speak to me for three days when I told him. Tamura-sensei thinks I should really try music." At my blank look, she clarified, "The choir teacher at my school. I've been accompanying the school chorus since I started there, and he says even if he's sad to lose me, I should really do something with myself. He thinks I can make it."

"Good for you, Noriko-san," I said with an honest smile. "I wish you all the best." I wondered if my father had his fingers in the music business somewhere—probably—and whether I could talk him into giving her a bit of a push.

"Well, I can't do it by myself," she said, dejected again. "All I can do is play. My singing voice isn't really that great, and I can't compose. About the only thing I can do is write lyrics, but even then I don't hear the melody in my head. I'm hopeless."

"I don't know what to say, Noriko-san," I said. "I'll think, and if I figure out a way to help you, you'll be the first to know."

"What about you?" she asked then, a challenge in her eyes.

"Ah… what about me?" I asked, taken aback.

"You compose," she pointed out. "Well," she added. "Really well. Some of the stuff you improvise is really amazing."

Now I was really surprised. "Well, I… never really thought about it as composition," I finally said. "I just… do it. I don't write it down."

"But ostensibly, you could," she insisted. "You can read music, so you could write it down."

"Well, yes, but-"

"But nothing," she said firmly, shaking her chopsticks at me threateningly. "Music is the only thing that moves you; you've said so yourself. What are you still doing in business school?"

"Finishing it, of course," I said, surprised. "Just like I'm supposed to."

"Supposed to this, supposed to that," she said, perilously close to shouting now. "Do you not have free will or something?"

"Maa, maa, Noriko-san," I said, patting her hand in an attempt to quiet her before the entire clientele of the restaurant was staring at us. "I don't hate business school." It was true. I didn't feel about it like I felt about music, but I found the things I was learning interesting.

She was clearly not pacified, and tears sparkled in her big, violet eyes. "I don't understand you," she said. "If I could afford to just live for music… if I had the choice to just give everything else up… if I was as talented as you are…"

I continued patting her hand. "You're very talented, Noriko-san," I said soothingly, but now the tears were slipping out of her eyes, and she was trembling. "You don't need anyone else."

"Yes I do!" she shouted, and this time the attention of everyone was on us. I got more than one disapproving look. Clearly I was at fault for making a girl cry. I tried not to look at anyone else. "I need you, you great big idiot!" she continued, softer this time. "I don't know when I was crazy enough to let an ice statue like you become my best friend," she hiccupped. "You're something special, Tohma-kun… why are you the only one who doesn't see it?"

For several minutes, we sat in silence as I held her hand. There was an uncomfortable tightness around my heart at seeing her cry. "I'm sorry, Noriko-san," I kept repeating. "I'm so sorry…" I didn't know what else to say. Music… there was no future in music, though music was the one thing that brought me to life. It was better not to think about it. Let Noriko-san be the dreamer; I had to be pragmatic.

Slowly her tears ran out. She sniffled a few times before she looked at me and tried to smile. "Well, now my face is blotchy and my noodles are too salty," she said with a forced giggle, shaking her hair, loose and zigzagged with red and orange, out of her face. "And everyone here thinks you're the bastard who broke my heart. Oops."

"I'm sorry, Noriko-san," I said again. "Really…"

She shook her head and made a soft sound in her throat that seemed intended to be reassuring. "Can I ask you a favor, Tohma-kun?"

"I'll do it if it's in my power," I promised rashly, hoping she wouldn't ask me for anything too crazy.

"Christmas is coming up in a few weeks," she said. "Write me something, please. Just… something pretty that I can add words to. I have a piano recital the first week of January, and I want to play it."

I smiled and squeezed her hand. "Of course, Noriko-san," I said with relief. "It would be my pleasure."

I didn't think of this as anything other than a favor to a friend. After all, I had offered to write her some music, but then, I reasoned, I created music for her all the time. Nothing could come of it. After all, neither of us were singers. Her crazy ideas about her and me teaming up permanently would fade with time.

The fact that I still thought this only showed that I did not know Sakakura Noriko nearly as well as I thought I did.


I found writing a song tougher business than I had thought, until I got the clever idea to buy a synthesizer and hit record as I began to improvise. It went a great deal faster after that, and although I threw several drafts away, the final copy was still completed well before the deadline Noriko-san had set for me.

Christmas was a noisy affair. Everyone was dressed brightly and laughing at our café that night. I couldn't have imagined a better way to spend the evening than in the crowded, well-lit room, mostly on the stage together with Noriko-san, entertaining with Western carols interspersed with popular songs. By then, there were few places I was more comfortable than on that piano bench. Everybody was a little drunk and silly, and the tables had been moved aside to make room for dancing.

At the end of the evening, I presented Noriko-san with a sheaf of papers tied in a silver ribbon. "Your song," I told her. "It isn't much, but I'm sure you can improve it."

I only got the warning of her sparkling grin before she tacked me, kissed me full on the mouth, then spun away, still laughing. Somehow, a laugh was the first reaction I had as well. There was nothing odd or uncomfortable about the moment; it never occurred to me then to realize this was because Noriko-san was my one true friend, a friend that was close enough that I didn't really think of her as a girl any longer. Noriko-san was just… Noriko-san, I thought, as I was called upon to accompany Oh Holy Night while she sang in her sweet, clear soprano. That was all there was to it.


"You dress like a miniature university professor," Noriko-san told me the day before her recital, wrinkling her nose. Her hair was a sedate brown—she told me her piano teacher always made her dye it a respectable color before she went on stage. "You're only, what, twenty?"

"Twenty-two."

"You still dress too old. It looks so odd with your face. Why don't you wear colors?"

"You wear enough colors for both of us," I joked as we walked down the sidewalk in one of the biggest shopping districts in Tokyo. It was true. It was cold, so she was wearing a bright red coat with purple fur trim, and orange jeans, as well as glittery multicolored clips holding up her hair and a choker with a big violet heart on it.

She looked at my plain black coat and gray scarf disapprovingly. "It doesn't suit you," she stated. Then she grabbed my hand. "Come on, Tohma-kun. We're going shopping."

"Wait, I-" but that was all the protesting I could do before she pulled me into the nearest department store and headed off towards the men's section with determination on her delicate face, and, as always, I decided fighting her was more trouble than it was worth.

She made me take off my coat and turned me around critically a few times. Then she said, "Wait here," and disappeared among the racks of clothes. Obediently, I stood, looking rather out of place, I thought. Fortunately, she returned not ten minutes later, her arms full to overflowing with clothing. "Start with these," she instructed, and shoved me into a dressing room.

By the time we left the department store two hours later, my normal clothes were tucked away in one of the several bags I held, and I felt more than a little self-conscious in a deep green shirt ("It matches your eyes," she had said) with the first three buttons undone, and narrow black jeans, as well as a new scarf, red, over my coat, which was the only part of my wardrobe Noriko-san seemed to approve of. She had also stuffed a wide-brimmed black hat on my head and exchanged my expensive Italian shoes for boots. There was more in the bags, most of it colorful.

"There," Noriko-san said with great satisfaction. "Now you are presentable. Look at that, the girls are actually looking at you."

"I don't need the girls to look at me," I said, my arguing becoming weaker by the moment. "If this is what happens when one girl pays attention to me, I can only live in fear of what would happen if there were more."

Noriko only giggled. "Look at that, you're even making jokes. Maybe it was just the clothes you wore that made you such a starched-up little old man. There may be hope for you yet."

I gave her a mildly disapproving look. "Your brother was very mistaken about me leading you down the path of darkness and debauchery," I said with amusement. "You're leading me."

She curtsied. "We do what we can, sir," she said merrily.

Just then, a veritable bullet of a person shot out from around a corner and ran into Noriko. I barely caught her before she hit the ground, and the bullet, who turned out to be a little girl of about seven, fell flat on her behind and started howling. Moments later, another whirlwind came from around the corner, this one a young man with a smaller girl on his hip and a stuffed bunny clutched under his other arm, trailed by two more girls in their early teens.

"Kiriko-chan!" the young man called out as soon as he saw her. "Oh no, Kiriko-chan, didn't Oniichan tell you not to run?" He knelt down by the little girl and pulled her into his lap, somehow managing not to lose hold of the littlest one or the bunny. "Oh, Kiriko-chan, don't cry, don't cry!" the young man begged her, still fully ignoring us as I set Noriko-san back on her feet and watched him curiously. "If you cry, Kumagoro will be sad!"

"Kumagoro will be sad!" the littlest girl proclaimed. The one who was crying immediately stopped to grab the bunny and press her face into its plush back.

Only then did the young man look up at us with surprising blue eyes (the little girls were all dark) and a sincere smile. "I'm so sorry!" he said. "Kiriko-chan has so much energy… Kiriko-chan, be a good girl and apologize to the nice lady."

"I'm sorry, Oneechan," came a trembling voice from behind the bunny.

The young man set the girl down and stood himself, brushing dirt off of his knees. He reached into his jacket pocket and came up with three lollipops in multicolored wrappers. He handed one to Kiriko-chan, then grinned and held the other two out towards us. "Sorry!" he said again. "Have a lollipop! Lollipops make everything better!"

Noriko-san was smiling. "It's fine, it's fine!" she said, squatting down to look at the little girl with the bunny. Slowly, a dark eye peered out from behind the pink toy. "Sorry, Kiriko-chan," Noriko-san said with a kind smile. "I must have scared you, standing there. Will you be my friend anyway?"

The little girl gave a tremulous nod, and Noriko-san stood up again. "There, no harm done," she said breezily. She accepted a blue lollipop and popped it into her mouth, then passed the green one to me. I stuck it in my pocket. "I probably scared her more than she hurt me, since Tohma-kun was quick enough to catch me."

The young man beamed up at her (she was wearing one of her unbelievable pairs of shoes that made her nearly as tall as me). "Thank you!"

"It must be hard to keep track of all four at once," Noriko-san said. "I commend you."

"It's not hard work when it's fun!" the young man assured her fervently and planted a kiss on the top of the littlest girl's head.

"Oniichan, now that you've caught Kiriko, we're still hungry!" said the oldest girl.

Noriko-san gave them a lightning-quick look, noted their slightly faded clothes and quickly offered, "We'll buy you lunch." Which of course meant I would buy them lunch. "Since I was clumsy enough to run into Kiriko-chan. It takes two."

Kiriko-chan seemed fully recovered, because she began to jump up and down, shouting "Waii, waii! Lunch with my new friend! Isn't that exciting, Kumagoro?"

And that was how I met Sakuma Ryuichi.


It was in Noriko-san's nature to be giving, a cheerful openness I had always envied her. By the end of the day, she and the Sakuma brood were fast friends, and she had secured a promise from Ryuichi-san to make an appearance at her piano recital after they had spent an enthusiastic half hour talking about music. Midori-chan (the youngest) had insisted that Kumagoro needed a place set at the table for him, and told Ryuichi-san to feed him, which the young man (who was actually nearly my age) did with a look of complete seriousness.

After lunch, we stayed together and wandered around the shopping center until it was dark, and Ryuichi-san caused Kiriko-chan and Midori-chan to cry by telling them it was time to go home. This, however, seemed to be easily rectified, for he said in all seriousness, "But girls, you know how Kumagoro is scared of the dark! It would be awful if he got scared and started crying!" Ryuichi-san himself began tearing up.

I began to think that the whole lot of them actually believed the bunny was sentient when Rie-san, the oldest, sniffled and said "Poor Kumagoro!" and Akane-chan, the quiet one, spoke up adamantly to demand they went home right away before Kumagoro got scared. The strangest part of all of this was, this all appeared to be perfectly logical for the other girls, and they no longer argued as their brother herded them onto a bus. "See you tomorrow, na no da!" Ryuichi-san called as the bus pulled away from the curb.

"Well, that was… interesting," I said as we headed towards the car park where I had left my vehicle earlier. It was just starting to snow lightly, and my arms hurt from all the shopping bags with my new clothing, as well as whatever Noriko-san had bought that she had given me to carry.

"They're adorable!" Noriko-san exclaimed and twirled around in the snow, her arms spread wide.

"They all act Midori-chan's age, though," I said, smiling to see her so happy. "Four."

"That's part of the charm," she told me candidly. "You should try acting like Ryu-chan sometime," she informed me. "You might enjoy it. Look at him. He's so happy."

"I think the moon would have to crash into the earth before I could take myself that lightly," I told her. "It's not in my nature."

"More's the pity," she said, but then she somehow managed to get around all the shopping bags to hug me anyway. "That's all right. I love you anyway."

I only stiffened a moment before hugging her back, wondering if it was odd that someone had said "I love you," to me for the first time when I was twenty-two years old.


I recognized Noriko-san's brother immediately the next day, for when I walked into the recital hall, I immediately felt hostile eyes on me. It didn't take me long to spot a young man with Noriko's violet eyes as the source of the glare. Clearly, he wasn't at all sure of my honorable intentions, no matter what Noriko-san said.

I only had a moment to wonder if I should talk to him and attempt to prove my innocence before a relatively heavy weight crashed into my back, accompanied with a squeal. "Oniichan! You're here!"

When I managed to detach the girl from my back, I discovered it was Kiriko-chan, grinning and dressed in a frilly frock that was already beginning to get rumpled. "Konbanwa, na no da!" came from the door, and the other four trooped in, all dressed in what was clearly their best (even the bunny, who was wearing a doll's tuxedo jacket). "Kiriko-chan, don't knock anyone over today!"

Then, before I had any say about it, I was surrounded by the Sakuma children, all of them giggling and talking at me, without Noriko-san as a buffer. So I somehow organized them into seats and explained to them very carefully that they had to be very quiet when Noriko-oneechan played, because she needed to concentrate. I had no more time to worry about Noriko-san's brother; I had more than enough on my hands here. It occurred to me with horrifying clarity that my parents and Uesugi-san expected Mika and me to raise children, and I hadn't the slightest idea how to put up with them for long periods of time. I was already getting a headache.

A woman (Noriko-san's teacher, I assumed) came onstage and talked for a few minutes about how promising and willing a pupil Sakakura-san had been. "Today is the last she plays for me here, her graduation recital from my school," she said. "I believe this talented young woman has a bright future, and I'm sure you'll agree. Please welcome Sakakura Noriko-san!"

Everyone clapped politely (Ryuichi-san had the bunny in his lap and was clapping its plush paws together), and Noriko-san came onstage.

She was different here than when we played together. She had a simple black dress on, almost severe, and her curly hair had been carefully tucked away into an elegant chignon at the back of her head. She bowed, then set her music on the piano, and began to play—Liszt, Debussy, and Gershwin. When she had finished with everything in the program and stood to acknowledge applause, she did not leave the stage. "Thank you to everyone who could be here today," she said. "My family, who has supported me and my music for as long as I can remember, and my friends." She smiled and for a minute looked much more like the Noriko-san I knew and less like an elegant stranger. "Before I leave you today, I have one more piece to play that is not listed in my program.

"I was given the most beautiful gift of my life a few weeks ago by my closest and dearest friend, Seguchi-san. I know music isn't everyone's dream and future… but I believe it is mine, and I believe it is yours. Here is your song, Tohma-kun, and the words you didn't know went with it." With this statement, she sat back on the piano bench, closed her eyes, and the first notes of the melody I had written, soft and a little melancholy, sounded.

"I hid my wings in darkness,
And smiled away the tears,
I left my dreams in boxes
Turned dusty by the years.

I locked my heart in silence
And threw away the key,
My eyes were cool and empty
And my mind was never free.

I want to be a shooting star,
I want everyone to know me,
I want to be a shooting star,
I want everyone to see me,

Doesn't matter who we are,
Burning like a shooting star,
Falling from the sky,
I'll light away the darkness
To spread my wings and fly...

I'll push away the silence,
I'll shove away the chains,
I'll let my dreams roam free
Until no dust remains.

I'll shine into the darkness,
Scare the shadows all away,
I'll sing my songs and give you
All the words I couldn't say.

I want to be a shooting star,
I want everyone to know me,
I want to be a shooting star,
I want everyone to see me,

Doesn't matter who we are,
Burning like a shooting star,
Falling from the sky,
I'll light away the darkness
To spread my wings and fly..."

Her voice was a little shaky at the end, and when she let the last unresolved seventh chord float to the back of the room before lifting her foot from the pedal, she wiped at her eyes. "So think about it, Tohma-kun," she said into the silence. "Because I really don't think you're stupid, and I can't do it without you." She bowed and hurried off the stage, leaving the audience in stunned silence.

The tight feeling around my heart was back, stronger now. I turned my head to discover Ryuichi-san was clutching the bunny tightly, his eyes big and shiny with tears. And that something around my heart got tighter, and I lifted my hand in surprise to feel a dampness on my cheeks.