URRDUDUDURRRRR Hello minna-san! It's time for another hare-brained fiction that makes absolutely NO SENSE because I drink way too much tea. Yoroshiku

Disclaimer: I do not own Tennis no Oujisama. I do, however, own a wide variety of lamps. Lamps are pretty cool, when you think about it. I mean, you can hit a switch or clap at them! Astounding!

Fuji Syuusuke wasn't feeling quite himself, lately. He felt very paranoid and often found himself darting quick glances around his shoulder to see if someone was there. Fuji's house and especially his room filled him with an unexplainable anxiety that would envelope him in waves. He needed out. Out anywhere. It didn't matter where, just out.

It was because Fuji Syuusuke had started hearing voices.

Fuji managed to find refuge by going to school and interacting with his peers. He theorized that this normal environment at school could balance out the abnormality he had to face at home. He managed to erase most of his stress by channeling it into energy for playing tennis. But still somehow… Fuji looked weary and tired. He had plenty of energy but you wouldn't be able to guess that from his physical appearance. His posture had started to decline as well as his navigation skills. After bumping into a tree for the third time, Tezuka decided to confront his friend about this problem.

"Fuji!"

Fuji was leaning face-forward against the tree that he had just assaulted. "Hrmf."

"That's the third tree you've run into today… and there aren't many trees around here."

Fuji turned his head so he could speak without getting bark in his mouth. "You've been counting?" Caught off-guard, Tezuka thought it was best just to ignore this inquiry.

"How have you been feeling lately? Your tennis performance has been just like it always has but you don't look too good. What's going on?"

What to say? Fuji found himself in a bit of a corner. Oh, everything's fine, Tezuka. It's just that whenever I go home I hear voices. That's all. Pffft. Right. Fuji looked at the ground. "I read a weird book the other day and it's kind of been bothering me… but I'll just get over it. Kind of strange, huh?"

Tezuka looked puzzled. "Very strange, but alright." He left it at that and left Fuji alone with the tree.

Fuji started to recollect the events that had led up to this point. It all started three days ago… when we came home from that furniture store… Fuji was referring to an excursion he and his family had made to a furniture store. They were just browsing around through the aisles and looking for something like a new coffee table for the living room. That's when Fuji saw it. It was the most bizarre-looking lamp anyone had ever laid eyes on. The body of the lamp was various hues of green and almost in the shape of an S. The lampshade was a deep blue color that Fuji found most fascinating. Having an affinity for unusual things, Fuji went ahead and bought the lamp.

He brought it home and set it on the shelf right next to a cactus. He unwound the power cord and plugged it into the nearest socket. With the flick of a switch, the room was immediately filled with a dark yet luminous light. Fuji stood for a few minutes, thoroughly enjoying the presence of this new accessory. Since it was the middle of the day and his room was filled with the natural light pouring in through his window, he decided that it was best to turn the lamp off for now. Fuji reached for the switch under the lampshade when he heard a low growl.

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT…

Fuji froze. Had the lamp just… spoken? Fuji took his hand back and gazed at the lamp curiously for a moment. He reached for the switch again when suddenly the lamp began to emit a dark light (A/N: …YES dark light is possible… cough) and Fuji was thrown back and hit the opposite wall. He sat for a moment in shock until his sister came into the room. The lamp's light returned to normal.

"Syuusuke, what was that loud sound just now?" Yumiko asked innocently. Before he could respond, Yumiko had noticed the lamp on the other side of the room. "Oh, is this what you bought today at that store?" She started to approach it. "It's rather different, but it suits you," she smiled. She reached for the switch and Fuji winced… but nothing happened. The light vanished and the lamp was off. Still smiling, Yumiko headed for the door, "Try to keep it off during the daytime! We don't want to waste electricity when we have all this beautiful natural light around." Then she made her exit. Fuji still sat slumped against the wall. What had just happened?

Fuji returned to the tennis courts to finish practicing. Just thinking about the whole scenario he was in started to get him worried. Fuji played his tennis in a daze that day. While in the showers, Fuji began to remember some of the other events that had taken place over the past three days.

When Fuji had returned to his room after his sister had turned off the lamp, the lamp was magically back on again. His family started to get frustrated with the fact that Fuji kept leaving that lamp of his on. Fuji would deal with the lectures of his family members and let them turn off the lamp for him. Fuji was just curious as to how long he would have to put up with such unjust treatment before he would finally snap and tell everyone that his lamp was making death threats at him. And then what? The haunting melody of "The Funny Farm" started to play in Fuji's mind as lukewarm water went streaming down his back. Fuji shook his head. There had to be another way.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Maybe he should have someone come give the lamp a visit? It was a sound plan. When the members were exiting the locker room and giving their "otsukaresamadeshita"s to each other, Fuji swiftly approached Tezuka before he could get too far away. He gave him an unexpected hit on the shoulder to get Tezuka's attention. Tezuka seemed kind of peeved at first and assumed that his assailant was someone like Kikumaru, but seeing that it was Fuji, he just stopped and turned around… minus the death glare.

"Hey um, I know this is rather sudden, but would you be interested in coming over?" Tezuka blinked. "We could study or uh… something. Anything. I don't know," Fuji pleaded, a glint coming from his azure blue eyes. Tezuka sighed. What choice did he have? "Sure." And the two set off for the Fuji residence.

After arriving, Fuji opened the door and surveyed the visible rooms. Good. No one's home. He let Tezuka in and then shut the door behind them. Fuji motioned his hand towards the stairs signaling for Tezuka to go up to his room. After marching about half way up the stairs, Fuji heard a shrill hiss that made his hairs prickle. He suddenly remembered: THE LAMP. Fuji scampered past Tezuka up the stairs and ran on ahead of him so he could reach his room's door first. Tezuka thought this was a little neurotic, but Fuji is Fuji after all. Fuji opened the door slightly to only hear the hiss get louder.

"Damn," Fuji muttered.

"What?" Tezuka was now standing over Fuji who was peering suspiciously into his own room. He looked up innocently to his friend and smiled. "Nothing." He pushed the door open the rest of the way. That is when Tezuka saw the lamp.

"Is that a lamp?" Tezuka questioned. No, it's an animosity towards mankind. A hellish abomination! A wretched curse from the depths of the—"Yes." Tezuka slowly started plodding across the room to better inspect the curious object when it started to speak again:

IF HE TOUCHES ME, I'LL KILL HIM.

Fuji didn't exactly know how to respond when a lamp makes a death threat towards someone close to him. Out of instinct and worry for his friend's life, Fuji lunged out at Tezuka and wrapped his arms around him from behind. Tezuka immediately froze and couldn't believe how abnormally Fuji was behaving. Fuji was clinging so tightly that the lower half of his body was going numb. He put a hand on one of Fuji's arms. "Fuji… tell me what's wrong."

"I can't." Fuji's voice was muffled from having his face pressed into Tezuka's back. Tezuka couldn't think of anything to do, but his first priority was to get Fuji to calm down… and stop cutting off his circulation. That was the second priority. "Do you want to go back downstairs and sit down?" Fuji nodded, well, moved his head up and down and then released Tezuka. The two then adjourned to the sofa in the living room downstairs.

After they sat down, Fuji just stared at his hands. The room was quiet with the exception of the ticking of the clock on the wall. The silence was very… awkward. Fuji finally broke the silence with a quiet whisper. "I'm so sorry." Tezuka was lost. He didn't know he could get confused so many times in one day. But Fuji was his friend, and wanted to help him out as much as possible. Fuji was still staring at his hands.

"Why?" Tezuka's low voice almost seemed to echo and harmonize with the tick-tock of the clock.

"For acting so strangely… and for not telling you why. This must be an awful situation for you, right? Your friend is acting weird and won't even tell you why so there's nothing you can really say or do to comfort them… so I'm sorry for being so difficult." Fuji's ability to completely analyze a situation and comprehend it never ceased to amaze Tezuka. Tezuka leaned back and closed his eyes. "Well if you don't want to tell me, you must have a valid reason for it, and I'll respect that."

"But I do want to tell you!" Fuji's voice was shaking. "I just can't!" He buried his face in his hands and his body shook with short sobs. Confused once more, Tezuka just put an arm around his friend until Fuji had literally cried himself to sleep. After Fuji had stopped making sounds and was just calmly breathing, Tezuka scooped him up and carried him up the stairs and into his room. Tezuka had just put Fuji down on his bed and put a blanket over him when he sensed a dark presence: the lamp. He turned to look at it. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable after a while so he just left the room, went back downstairs, and left the house.

Tezuka couldn't help but wonder if Fuji was safe home alone with that lamp… but then pondered if it was ridiculous for him to have such a thought.

Fuji was absent from school the next day. At first, Tezuka was slightly worried about his cohort, but then assumed that it was good for him to stay home and just rest… perhaps it would help whatever it was that was bothering him. Either way, Tezuka had taken the noble duty of talking to Fuji's teachers after school that day so he could drop by later and fill him in on what he missed.

After tennis practice was completely finished and Tezuka had done his mandatory consulting with Oishi and Ryuuzaki, he set off for Fuji's house. It wasn't a long walk, but long enough for Tezuka to carefully consider what to say when he arrived. He desperately hoped that Fuji had recovered at least a little bit from whatever had been bothering him for the past few days. Eager to know of Fuji's condition, Tezuka quickened his pace and shortly arrived on the doorstep of the Fuji residence. He knocked on the door and patiently waited until he heard the tell-tale sound of approaching footsteps on the other side.

Much to Tezuka's surprise, it wasn't Fuji Syuusuke who answered the door, but his younger brother Yuuta. Yuuta looked slightly peeved and was wielding an apple that had a few bites taken out of it. For a few moments, Tezuka and Yuuta exchanged puzzled looks (God, how Tezuka had become tired of those recently).

"Is your brother home?"

"Wasn't he at school?" Yuuta took a bite of his apple.

Tezuka's frozen and shocked expression was slightly unnerving for Yuuta, who had never seen the infamous captain (as emotional as a piece of bread) make any sort of expression at all. On top of that, it was a horrified look. This was… unsettling. Yuuta let Tezuka come inside the house and the two discussed the various places where Fuji could be. After thirty minutes of making a plethora of phone calls and taking some time to check nearby areas, Tezuka sat Yuuta down and explained to him the sort of behavior his brother had been exhibiting for the past few days. Neither of them could come to any sensible solution. Tezuka was overwhelmed with worry. It was around 7:00 PM and he needed to start heading home soon. But he didn't want to leave without knowing where Fuji was and how he was doing.

Tezuka was just about to suggest maybe resorting to calling the police (something they should have done earlier) when Yuuta said that they should check the last room of the house: the basement. In the garage there was a door much like a closet door that led to the underworld of the residence. The two ambled down what sounded like very unsound stairs and Yuuta blindly groped for the lightswitch in the complete darkness that was enveloping them. Yuuta suddenly found it and flicked it on, revealing a dim, dirty room with some boxes and cabinets. Sure enough, Fuji Syuusuke was sitting there.

Both Yuuta and Tezuka seemed a little hesitant to call out to him, although they had spent a decent amount of time searching for him. Something wasn't right. Syuusuke was sitting with his knees pointing towards the ceiling and his arms were loosely wrapped around his shins. He was wearing a faded pair of blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt. The disturbing thing was that Fuji's face yielded no emotion. It was completely bereft of expression. It was almost like how fish sleep with their eyes open.

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING DOWN HERE!" Yuuta boomed, startling Tezuka a little. He was practically all the way down the stairs by now. Snapping out of his current state, Tezuka followed. When the two had arrived right in front of Fuji, he returned from reality from his daze.

"Sorry, I…" Fuji's eyes wandered about the room. "It was too loud upstairs and I couldn't process thoughts or form sentences or anything. I felt disabled." Fuji's soft gaze met Tezuka's with an overwhelming sense of helplessness and vulnerability. "Please don't think I'm crazy!" Fuji pleaded, lunging out to clutch his younger brother's knees. The three stood motionless in silence for five minutes before it was decided that Fuji Syuusuke would go back upstairs and into the living room and sleep on the couch. It was also then decided that it would be comforting if Tezuka also spent the night in the living room. After everything was settled and Tezuka, who had called his parents and verified everything, was on the floor and Fuji was on the sofa, Yuuta adjourned to his room upstairs, glad that the whole ordeal was over.

"Good night, Tezuka…" Fuji mumbled drifting off to sleep.

"Good night, Fuji," Tezuka murmured, praying that in the morning, everything would return to normal.

The night was uneventful. Then came the morning. Dahahaha. It was around five o'clock AM when Tezuka heard the faint sound of footsteps on the stairs. He figured that it was just Yuuta getting some water or something. He buried his face into his pillow and tried to nod off again. The footsteps returned, and Tezuka was now aware that these were approaching footsteps, meaning that the original footsteps had gone UP the stairs. Tezuka looked up to see the ghostly figure of Fuji Syuusuke meander past him and towards the front door, dragging a lamp by its cord. After Fuji made his exit out the front door, Tezuka managed to get up and dash up the stairs to Yuuta's room to tell him what was going on.

By the time Tezuka and Yuuta were in the yard it was too late. Fuji stood towering over his foe, two-by-four held by both hands, held high over his head. Before Tezuka or Yuuta could even start to say anything, the insanity of Fuji Syuusuke was gushing out, being channeled through the mighty force of the two-by-four. The contact of the lamp and wood made a spine-tingling crack, shattering the early morning peace. Fuji, who was now breathing heavily, was not finished with his enemy yet. He raised the wooden bane yet again to prepare for a repeat strike. This time, Fuji picked up speed and began to scream.

"SON OF A BITCH! SON OF A BITCH!" Fuji cried, swinging his weapon in the early morning crimson sun. Tezuka and Yuuta stood in awe of the spectacle. After another minute or so, Fuji did not raise the two-by-four again. His enemy, slain, laid in pieces on the ground. Fuji stood, hunched over it, panting.

He threw the two-by-four aside and fell to his knees.

Fuji Syuusuke began weeping, for the lamp…

…the lamp that cost him ten dollars and his sanity.