AUTHORS NOTE:

Okay, this is a slightly odd story. It's my first Gorillaz story and I would really appreciate it if you could read and tell me if u think anyone is, like, OOC or anything. It may also slightly suck – flames are totally accepted!

Um, I sort of don't think I'll do Murdoc's swearing in this. Hey, my mother might read this! So, do you mind if I put little star thinks where he swears?

It slightly doesn't help that I have no idea what the hell a social services person does when they come see if you're fit to be a parent or whatever. So, keeping an extremely open mind please read and tell me what you think. Thanks!

So, it was just another day at Kong Studios. The zombies were chilling outside, the dead spirits were hanging around and the Gorillaz were jamming inside the instrument room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Then the doorbell rang.

"F---!" Swore Murdoc. He threw down his bass guitar. "What bloody, stupid moron would ring our bell while we're in the middle of a jam session? Bastard! Now we're going to have to start over!"

He looked at the others. 2D seemed unaware anything had happened, still singing a song in his beautiful angel voice. Murdoc allowed himself a moment of congratulations on choosing such a good singer before reaching over and hitting 2D's head. "Shut it, D."

He saw Noodle sigh. The 13 year old hated it when he hurt 2D in any way. For that matter, so did Russel. Murdoc looked around for the man mountain.

"Russel has gone to open the door," Noodle said. She began strumming her guitar, humming softly to herself. Murdoc sighed. He lit up a cigarette and resolved to hurt whoever had rung the doorbell in the middle of the song. Unless, of course, it was a hot girl.

"Guys, there's someone here to see Noodle." Russel blocked the doorway. He moved into the room and a woman followed, wearing a suit and an extremely disgusted expression.

Murdoc took notice. That was one hot lady. "Well, hello there. Want me to butter your muffin, love?"

She shot him a glance. "I am assuming the young female is 'Noodle', as you call her. Now, degrading comments aside, which of you men is her father?"

2D frowned. That was a good question. Funny, he'd never thought of it before. "Yeah, which of us is her father?" He frowned some more. "Couldn't be me, could it?"

Murdoc punched 2D in the shoulder. "None of us, Dumbass."

The woman frowned. "Please watch your language around the child. Mr Hobbs, please introduce us all."

Russel cleared his throat. "Right, well, this is Murdoc Niccals."

Murdoc extended a hand. "Bass player to the DEVIL! Haaaaaaaaail Satan!"

The woman looked disgusted.

"And this is 2D. Er, Stuart Tusspot, that is."

2D still looked confused. It was practically his default expression.

"And, of course, this is Noodle."

Noodle looked at the woman with curiosity. She wondered why the woman wanted to see her. Did it have something to do with the military crack team she was part of for the Japanese government?

The woman nodded. "And I am Ms Jenson. I work for the government."

Noodle's worst fears were confirmed. She looked around, panicking.

Ms Jenson continued, ignoring Murdoc's comment of: "Single, huh? That's the way I like 'em, babe."

"More specifically, from the Social Services Department. There have been reports that Noodle, as you call her, does not, in fact, go to school."

"Who told you that?" Murdoc punched his fist into his other hand threateningly. "I'll fix 'em!"

Russel restrained Murdoc by pinning his arms behind his back. Ms Jenson continued: "Not only are you committing the crime of not sending her to school, Noodle lives here, Kong studios, in a place barely fit for human habitation, with junk everywhere and with three old men for companions."

"Hell, I'm not old-"

"First there's Mr Niccals here, who smells of alcohol and cigarette smoke, regularly degrades women for his own personal gain, looks like he hasn't seen a dentist in years and, judging by an earlier comment, hails Satan."

She turned to 2D, who was in the middle of popping a painkiller.

"You, Mr D (2D looked confused at being addressed this way), seem to be addicted to painkillers. You are currently not wearing a shirt. Your health records show that Mr Niccals, who incidentally was put in jail for forgery, ran into you with a car and put you in a coma. You also seem in need of a visit to the dentist."

Ms Jenson turned to Russel. "All though you seem the most responsible of the others, you are overweight and your health records suggest you believe you were possessed by a ghost. All three of you smoke and the young lady's pet also smokes. Noodle is at one of the most impressionable years of her life. She does not need to be exposed to cigarette smoke, alcohol and substance abuse, Satan, convicted criminals and naked torsos wherever she turns. This young lady needs you to set her examples. Which, you are most certainly not doing. I should send you all straight to jail."

She paused and looked around. "Do you have anything to say?"

2D looked up. "Erm, we're in this, like, band. You might have heard of us? The Gorillaz?"

Ms Jenson looked sour. "I will leave now. I will come back at 3:00pm tomorrow and if things haven't improved, I will be taking Noodle into care. Children need a strong family life, with older people in their lives to set examples to them. They need strong religious, social and educational foundations to grow into successful adults. They need nutritional food, a clean environment to play in and a place they can feel safe. They cannot be exposed to things such as cigarette smoke. I'll see myself out. Good day."

The Gorillaz looked at each other. Murdoc picked up his bass guitar again. "Feisty little un, ain't she? No matter. One night with The Niccals and she'll be right as rain, yeah?"

Russel shook his head. "Murdoc, she's not one of your usual blonde airheads."

"Yeah," 2D agreed. "She's a brunette."

Murdoc ignored 2D's comment. "Got a better idea, tubs?"

Russel sighed. "We could do what she wants us to do."

"Yeah, but-"

Noodle spoke up. "I could leave."

2D ruffled her hair. "Noodle can't leave!"

Murdoc had to agree. "Look, love, if it was Stu-pot I might just consider it. But I ain't gonna be looking for no new guitarists. You've gotta stay, little one."

Noodle smiled.

Russel smiled slightly too. "You know what this means? Kong Studios is getting a little makeover. And so are we."

AUTHORS NOTE:

Please ignore the lame dialogue on the last sentence. There are gonna be other chapters. Well, there will be if I decide this isn't total crap… you know?

And anyone who wants me to update my Artemis Fowl fics? I'm working on it!

Tell me what you think of it! Please!

Also, if you have a better title - tell me!