Disclaimer: I don't claim or own the any of the Final Fantasy 7 characters, cities, etc.
First installment of the new and improved Forgiving the Unforgivable! Now called 'Standing on My Own Two Feet' though. :D It's still awesome! I hope it's good. And, as always, I'm not completely satisfied with it but I can't seem to think of anything to add or change. If you see something, tell me!
I hope you enjoy this just as much (or even more) than the old version! And if you're a new reader, thanks for reading!
Fall from Nothing into Nothing
It hurt. It hurt more than knives, fists or even the searing blade that had left a scar that ran down the center of her chest. Tifa pulled herself off the hardwood floor of her bedroom; what time was it?
Standing slowly, her hair flowed beautifully, even with the bits of unknown tangled within it. She walked towards the bathroom, scarcely noticing the mess of her house from her drunken nights of tantrums and tears.
Her long legs were heavy as they dragged on the floor. Her sullen features held no trace of the vibrant life that once was there. When he was still there.
Shutting the door behind her, Tifa stared endlessly into the mirror.
She hated what she saw.
Broken.
Pathetic.
Not worth shit.
Cloud... Her heart pounded against their confines and her pulse raced as she flexed and clenched her hands. Not able to stand the image, four knuckles flew into the reflection; destroying the mirror.
Sliding down to her knees, the heroine of the Planet let the sobs finally escape. She didn't hate him. She didn't hate Aeris, no, but she was getting close to. The flower girl was beyond perfection; a glorious angel that descended from the skies and brought light to wherever and whatever she touched or went.
That was why the young brunette couldn't find it within her to hate her. Or love her.
But she found it more than easy to hate herself. Was this what she truly was? A broken little nothing? The moment he left, she wasted away like bad milk. What kind of useless human couldn't even stand on her own two feet? Why can't I be strong?
A tortured scream rang out as the scorching rivulets ran down her cheeks.
But no one was around to hear it.
---
"Ya don't smile no more, Lockheart." Turqoise eyes flicked up from the counter and gazed intently into her mahogany ones. "Ya know that?"
"Oh." She replied as she grabbed a tray full of drinks and made her around her bar; Exoneration.
Slipping off his stool, he followed her casually as she distributed the cups of poison to each paying customer. "It's been a month, Lockheart, maybe it's 'bout time ya got over it. Move on."
"Whatever." Every night they would have the same conversation. Well, more like he'd talk to himself and she'd just interrupt with a curt 'oh' and 'sure' every once in awhile.
"Why don't 'cha go out. Shop, go to the spa 'n' all that jazz? Relax a bit 'n' stuff." Shoving his hands into his pockets, he knew she might as well be a lost cause. But she wasn't someone he was going to let fade away. He had promised that. With a heavy sigh, he ran his fingers through fiery red hair.
"Reno?" Her voice was coarse.
"Yeah, babe?"
"You should get going if you want to make it to Midgar by tomorrow." With that, she slipped back behind the bar and ignored him for the rest of the time he stayed.
---
The bell jingled quietly as the last patron left. Tifa looked around the filth that was left behind. Grabbing her cleaning utensils, she began to pick up the empty glasses and wipe down the tables.
A sad tune began to float about as the radio broadcasted a young girl singing some song.
"Depression's become a trend, I swear." She mumbled. She paused for a moment, reminiscing about when she had said the exact same thing to a certain SOLDIER.
"I know. It's pretty sad." Cloud gave her a dazzling smile. The sun shimmered off his bright locks. "No pun intended."
"Ha. You'd think after we saved the Planet and all, people would lighten up." His grin disappeared as he bowed his head and let a solemn expression overtake him.
"Aeris... She saved everyone."
Silence.
"Tif?" His tone frighteningly forlorn. "Would... you hate me...-"
"You know I can't." Strolling to him, she knelt while he sat on the porch swing. The martial artist locked her eyes with his as the song continued to play faintly in the background. "Don't you get it? I can't hate you, Cloud,... I love you."
His lips turned downward into a frown. "Tif... You know I love you... But not that way."
Suddenly she averted her eyes and stood up. Walking over to the radio, she clicked it off. "Tif? Would you hate me... if I left you?"
Still with her back to him. "No. I don't know. I wouldn't forgive you. Probably."
Another couple of minutes and the door shut quietly as Cloud went inside to pack. Once Lockheart was sure he out of range, she let the salty droplets fall.
Placing the broom back into the closet, the twenty year old listened to the rain pound against the roof for a moment before locking the doors and stepping out into it.
As she neared her home, the Nibel Mountains watched her mockingly as she walked by them. Always pointing and laughing.
Telling her that he was never coming back.
They had claimed him.
Aeris had claimed him.
It wasn't even a year before he returned to Nibelhiem. It was pouring. Everything was soaked through and through. Tifa was running home, however, a splotch of golden in the mist caught her eye.
Cloud.
He stood precariously close to the edge of the Mountain. Her eyes were playing tricks, she was sure. But even still, she screamed for him. He turned to face her as she came closer. He was so close that she could see the puffs of breath that appeared every time he breathed.
But, just when she was near enough, a tear, or maybe it was simply a rain drop, slid down his cheek.
With a cruel yet apologetic smile on those god-given lips, he leaned forward and disappeared into the depths of abyss.
It left her numb. She was so close. So close. Her knees scraped open as they hit the dirt and rock.
All the yelling, crying and moaning flew away unheard with the wind. It wasn't until Tifa had gotten up from the muddy ground that she saw a crumpled heap of clothes and red hair. Reno.
Without any realization, her legs led her closer and closer to the same precipice that her beloved had fallen over. Her body was losing all feeling and the cold had long sank its sharp vicious nails into her core.
"... Don't leave me...!" The on pour slapped loudly against the floor but she could've sworn she heard someone.
She teetered on the edge. Peering down, Tifa wondered if Cloud had become an angel and managed to fly away.
A certain tiredness was creeping up on her. And as it came, so did the memories.
She recalled his scent, his voice and everything else about him. He was everything and now that he was gone; she was empty. This heroine was just the small town girl who fell in love with a boy named Cloud Strife. And she couldn't be something else or anything more.
Suddenly, she was overcome with the want to be simply nothing. Nothing; period. Opening her arms, she welcomed the darkness below as her consciousness slipped from her grasp.
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