Ooh, an update! I wrote this ages ago – I have no idea why I didn't post this earlier. I'm very sorry for no updating – you've all probably forgotten about me! Enjoy!
The group made it back to Kong Studios alright – everyone was alive, anyway. They unloaded the many bags of cleaning products, bibles, new clothes and cupcakes. Then they set to work. Or tried to, anyway.
"Well, I think that 2D should start cleaning," Russel said. "And Murdoc can read his bible. Noodle could probably remove some of those zombies from the chimney…"
Murdoc searched his pocket for a cigarette. "Yeah? And what're you goin' ta do while we're slaving away? Stuff yer face with cupcakes?"
Russel looked at Murdoc haughtily. "For your information, I'm going to be reading this book on parenting."
He raised a slim book. Murdoc grabbed it off him.
"This is f---ing 97 pages long! I gotta read 1975 pages of f---ing microscopic print! Why don't I read this and you help the dullard clean?"
Russel sighed. "Murdoc-"
"It's decided? Good. Now, if you don't mind, I have books to read."
Murdoc plonked himself down in front of the TV in the lobby and opened a book.
Russel sighed. "Fine. Guys, we've all got our shit to do. Let's make like the Nike ad, and do it."
And, with those words of strength, they set off to work.
2D ventured down to the basement. He was about to start cleaning his room but hesitated near the second, mysterious door next to him. He'd never gone in before. Did he DARE?
"It's coming up … it's coming up …"
He looked at the door and saw Murdoc's mocking face.
"Go on Dullard. You little wanker."
"Whatsamatter? Scared?"
"About to start crying you wuss? Huh? HUH?"
2D stood up straight. He wasn't going to let Murdoc, albeit the Murdoc in his imagination, tease him. He was going to be assertive. Independent. Agnostic. Or whatever.
He pulled open the door, humming a few bars of 'Last Living Souls.' Yup, it sounded fitting. Would have to make a note of it for the Gorillaz film. If that ever happened …
He stepped into the dimly lit room.
He uncovered his eyes and gasped.
There was a small fortune of computers spread out, each one showing a different image of the Gorillaz on it.
Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself, Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself, Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself, Mike, Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself, Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself, Murdoc, Noodle, Russle, himself, Noodle, Murdoc, Russel, himself …
2D was getting dizzy. And very, very scared.
With a shriek that would have earned a lifetime of very deserved mocking by Murdoc, 2D leapt out of the room and ran as fast as his legs could carry him to a more friendly room.
Murdoc looked at the cover of the book. A baby was crawling, naked, on a colourful rug. The legend said: 'Successful Parenting.' Briefly, Murdoc considered the double standards concerning naked women versus naked babies. He sighed, and opened the book to a random page near the end to begin reading.
'Helping your daughter through puberty: A guide to talking about menstruation.'
Murdoc briefly imagined introducing the topic to Noodle. He shook his head. Maybe it would be best to leave this to Russel. Or even 2D. A smirk spread across his face. Sucker. Just then, the sucker in question ran, screaming, from inside the elevator. Murdoc raised an eyebrow at him. "Yeah, sometimes listening to Shaun Ryder say: 'It's coming up, it's coming up, etc' makes me agitated too, but, you know, not that agitated."
2D searched his pocket for a cigarette. Or a painkiller. Or something. He found one, slightly hairy, pill. He sucked at it thoughtfully. "I dunno. It was, like, a room. Next to my room."
Murdoc nodded. "Ooh, a room! Ooh, I'm so scared!"
"No! Shut up! It was what was in the room that was scary!"
Murdoc picket at a nail. "What was it? One of those girls who only went out with you so she could play Pong in your room?"
2D looked hurt. "Look, d'you want me to say it or not?"
"Oh please, do go on."
2D took a breath. "Well, it was FILLED with computers-"
"How utterly terrifying…"
"- and they all had different images of US on them!"
Murdoc shrugged. "It's probably just my stalker. Got a fag? I'm out."
2D shook his head. "Russ wouldn't let me buy more today."
Murdoc threw the parenting book at the TV. "Great. Just f---ing great. We can't smoke, we can't even worship Satan! What the f---ing hell is the world coming to?"
2D nodded his agreement. "Yeah. And, what's worse, the green house effect is still getting worse!"
Murdoc stared. "Whatever. Just piss off. Or something. And, while you're doing that, give this book to Russel. He'll enjoy it. Really."
2D skipped off, parenting book under arm, worries about the room hidden by a deeper concern for the ozone layer.
Russel was cleaning. Not that you'd know by looking at him. Full cans of Mr Sheen and Winspray were discarded at the door as he chewed on a wagon wheel he'd uncovered under his takeaway containers. He examined some pizza from a few nights ago. Okay, it was cold. Another point taken away for the slightly fuzzy patch on one side. But that could always be removed. It was still edible.
Russel put it to one side and considered some Chinese takeout. And soon, the pile of stuff that was 'edible' was almost as big as the original pile. He sighed. This was going to take a while.
There was a knock on the door.
"Wassup, 'D?" Russel asked, turning to 2D, who'd just emerged from the doorway.
2D looked up. "Er … the sky?"
This was actually quite an intelligent remark from 2D. Russel shook his head. "Nevermind. Why are you here?"
2D held out the book. "Muds told me to give you this."
Russel took the book. He laughed, "I figured Muds wouldn't stick reading this shit. Could ya go check that he's reading his Bible? If we're gonna pull this off, he needs too. Plus, it cost 20 bucks."
Despite the fact doing this would mean he was basically skipping from Murdoc to Russel and back, 2D nodded and wandered out. Russel opened to book to a random page.
'Teaching your child about the birds and the bees.'
He could just imagine explaining it all to Noodle. Maybe he should get Murdoc and 2D to share their experiences – or not. He shook his head, banishing the mental images.
No way.
Noodle was dragging two trash bags full of zombie corpses to the bin. She was pretty sure she'd gotten all of them.
She was just heading back inside when she spotted 2D wandering aimlessly through the room.
"What is wrong, 2D?" she asked, patting his shoulder gently.
2D smiled his gap-toothed smile, his blank eyes widening. "My head hurts. And I'm out of painkillers. And/or cigarettes."
Noodle couldn't help smiling back at him. She didn't like seeing him in pain just for her. She walked to the kitchen. "I think there may be something here that may help."
She opened a cupboard and removed a bottle containing brightly coloured tablets in animal shapes.
"Childrens … Vitamins?" 2D asked Noodle, staring at the bottle.
Noodle nodded. "Try them. They'll help."
Noodles theory was this: If 2D believed they would help his headache, they really would. The power of the mind is a great and mysterious thing. Anyway, even if they didn't, he'd be better off than before.
2D took a tablet out of the bottle. "It's in an animal shape!" He exclaimed, placing it in his mouth. "And it tastes like a raspberry flavoured lollypop! Thanks, Noodle!"
He skipped off, leaving Noodle to try and remember just what he'd been upset about in the first place.
Sorry that I haven't done any review answers or anything. With this new thing, I always forget to or whatever. I really would like too but … Meh. Happy day!
