Chapter Three: The New Boss
"Who the hell are you?" demanded an annoyed voice.
Broots and I looked up from where we were laughing over a joke sent to him via email and froze like small animals dazzled by headlights. The tall, attractive woman standing just inside the doors glared at us with cool eyes. The contrast of the heat of her anger and the coldness of her gaze was frightening.
Broots recovered first. "Miss Parker! This is Melinda." He trailed off as Miss Parker's stare bored into me. I was staring back. Broots looked at us both with alarm. He glanced towards Sydney's door as if willing him to appear.
I had stopped breathing. It was Catherine! My god! The only person I had ever trusted seemed to be standing right before me. I had known Miss Parker looked a lot like her mother - people had talked about it - but it had thrown me completely off-guard to find that their outward appearances were practically identical. I knew she wasn't Catherine but I reached out with my senses towards her trying to reclaim the feeling of safety and comfort that being near Catherine had always given me. I recoiled them immediately with shock. I was so disappointed I could have cried. Miss Parker was nothing like her mother at all. She felt hard, angry, dispassionate, controlled. Maybe too controlled, I thought suddenly and delved gently again.
Then her pain hit me - deep emotional hurt. She had been let down so many times that she didn't trust anyone anymore - sometimes not even herself - and she was as hungry for answers as myself. Beneath the pain and the hard, angry walls she had built up I finally found what I had been looking for - here was her mother in her and the true essence of the little girl she had once been - sweet, vulnerable and compassionate.
It was her physical pain that I could do something about. I reached out again and thought coolness towards the ulcer seething within her stomach. She visibly relaxed with relief.
I swiftly took the opportunity to close the gap between us and handed her the memo with my reassignment details on it. "I've been assigned to your team as your personal assistant, Miss Parker. Mr Jones, the Admin Manager discussed it with you yesterday."
Broots leapt in - he definitely wanted me to stay around. "Remember, you were really pis." He hesitated for a moment as Miss Parker raised her eyebrows at him. ".unhappy with the inefficiencies of the Admin Department."
"Yes, yes, whatever." She practically snatched the memo from my hands and scanned it quickly. I sent her a gentle suggestion that having me around might be useful and she announced. "I guess having you around might prove to be better than dealing with that pathetic department. I despise incompetence."
"I'm sure you will be more than happy with my work, Miss Parker." I replied, already becoming what she wanted from me. Strong without challenging her authority, confident without arrogance and showing deference to her without grovelling pathetically at her feet.
"We'll see about that. I'll let you know as we go as to what I expect from you. Do you have something to go on with now?"
"Yes, Miss Parker. Sydney gave me some typing."
"Fine. I'll call for you when I'm ready." With that she turned and marched into her office, flinging the doors open before her.
"She obviously hasn't had a good morning." I remarked dryly to Broots once her office doors had closed.
"She never has good mornings." Broots sighed dramatically. "And things have been even worse since she quit smoking. If she gives up caffeine, we'll all be doomed."
I laughed. Working with Broots was going to be something I would enjoy. In his mind, it was us two non-executive types surviving together in the murky world of The Centre. I liked that idea. I also liked that he viewed me as being 'normal' like him, meaning that we had both originally come from outside The Centre and didn't have long complicated histories with it. Little did he know.
I wondered what his opinion of me would be if he knew who I really was. Would he think I was a freak? Would he be frightened of me? Would he be first in line to see me locked up again? I thrust those dark thoughts aside - there was no need to think about it since no-one was ever going to know my secret if I could help it. Trust can kill you. Besides, why should I care what Broots thought? He was just another Centre minion after all. Wasn't he?
As the day wore on, I quizzed Broots about our team. "The chain of command doesn't seem completely clear. Who exactly is in charge of the team? Miss Parker? Or this Mr Lyle person I haven't met yet?"
Broots sighed. "You tell me! As for myself, I consider Miss Parker to be my boss. Occasionally, Mr Lyle will sweep in demanding things - usually after Miss Parker has taken care of the situation already. Oh, and then there's Brigitte." He shuddered.
"Brigitte? I've heard her name mentioned by people in the Admin Department and as a rule she wasn't referred to in a friendly manner. Didn't she get engaged to Miss Parker's father?"
"Yeah, that's really creepy." Broots shuddered again.
"Because of the age difference?" I asked.
"Well, that's part of it." He replied. His unspoken thought was, "And she once tried to kill him."
I barely batted an eyelid. Nothing surprised me about The Centre. "And what about our team's objectives? What do we do exactly?"
Broots hesitated and look apologetic. "I should probably let Miss Parker fill you in on that. Sorry."
"That's okay." I smiled at him and he brightened immediately. It's amazing the effect a smile has on some people. I made a mental note to employ it more often. Broots deserved it. Besides he made me smile anyway.
Just then a man sauntered in looking like he owned the place, a lazy grin crossing his boyish face. He was quite handsome though there was something a little slippery about him somehow which marred the overall appeal. I noticed he was missing the thumb on his left hand. So, this was the mysterious Mr Lyle. The pain of the loss of his thumb wafted over towards me quite strongly, not only the physical pain of the still healing wound but also the pain of embarrassing defeat and loss of face that it symbolised. However, I did not feel the urge to ease his pain as I had with Miss Parker's ulcer. Miss Parker's twin did not really look similar to her at all - except perhaps for those cool grey eyes - which seemed strange considering Miss Parker's extraordinary likeness to Catherine.
"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" His voice was all oily charm.
"I'm Melinda." I replied smoothly. "Miss Parker's personal assistant. I just transferred over from the Admin Department today. And you are Mr Lyle, I presume."
"That would be correct." He grinned and looked me up and down with exaggerated casualness. "Geez, if I'd known they'd send someone who looks as good as you, maybe I'd have put in a requisition for my own assistant."
Broots bristled, which pleased me for some reason, but I just lowered my eyes and feigned a blush. I held back Mr Lyle's thoughts with great care - some of the things I glimpsed in his mind that he wanted to do to me reminded me too much of my past at The Centre. I fought a sudden urge to knock him down for thinking such things about me. Instead I concentrated on Broots' essence and was calmed. Mr Lyle entered Miss Parker's office, they argued briefly and he left.
"Melinda!" barked Miss Parker's voice from the intercom on my deskphone. Broots and I both jumped.
I looked at Broots. "I guess that means I'm supposed to go see her now."
He nodded.
"I'm just letting you know now that pretty soon I'm going to be begging you to 'accidentally' disable this thing!" I indicated the intercom.
He laughed delightedly. "I'll see what I can do." He called after me. "Oh, and good luck."
Sydney materialised by my side as I was about to lean heavily against the doors to enter Miss Parker's office. He pushed one open and held it for me to go through.
"Thank you." I murmured, feeling uncomfortable being this close to him.
"Miss Parker asked me to join you for your meeting."
"Great." I replied.
"Don't worry. It'll be fine." He assured me quietly with an amused smile, assuming I was nervous about facing Miss Parker.
I nodded and entered the office. Miss Parker rose to her feet. She seemed agitated and I could feel her craving for nicotine was rising to breaking point. I took the edge off that craving with my mind and she calmed. I preferred not to have to deal with an agitated Miss Parker.
"I suppose we should brief you on what we do here." Miss Parker began briskly. "Syd?"
Sydney began, "What we are doing is trying to locate a man." He paused and it was obvious to me that neither of them was sure just how much to tell me. My heart leapt - I already knew who they were talking about. I concentrated on controlling my breathing and showing no outward sign of my inner turmoil. My soul whispered a single word - "Jarod".
Miss Parker continued. "This man is extremely intelligent and was working with The Centre on some special projects. Almost three years ago, he left The Centre and took with him," - her mind said 'stole' - "decades worth of important research. We want it back and we want him to return to continue the work he was doing."
"Why is he so difficult to locate?" I already knew why but was playing my role as innocent newcomer and that involved asking the obvious questions.
Sydney was about to answer but Miss Parker said quickly, "He moves around a lot. Like I told you, he is very smart and he doesn't really want to be found."
"I understand." I said simply - and I understood far more than they realised.
Miss Parker indicated a bundle of papers and files in front of her. "This is what I want you to work on today. This sheet on top is a prioritised list for you to follow. It should be self-explanatory - if you have any problems or don't understand something, then ask Broots before bothering me. I've indicated what I expect to be on my desk by the end of the day. The rest can wait till tomorrow." She looked at me intently. "Do what I ask, when I ask it and we will get along just fine. Understood?"
"Yes, Miss Parker." I was still feeling a little unsettled by our discussion and as I reached for the large bundle of files I accidentally knocked over the silver picture frame on her desk. I picked it up before Miss Parker could. A jolt ran through me when I saw - and felt - the enclosed photo. It was a glorious picture of Catherine smiling joyfully at the baby girl in her arms. I couldn't take my eyes from it. Miss Parker interpreted my reaction as surprise at their likeness.
She quickly took the picture from me and looked at it sadly. "That's my mother. People say all the time how much I look like her. She died when I was young."
"I'm sorry." I said softly, the requisite response. You have no idea how sorry. "I'd better get started on these files." I grabbed the bundle quickly and turned to go so that she would not see the tears forming in my eyes. Sydney did not miss them. He followed me out to my desk.
"Are you alright?" He asked gently.
"Sure. Fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I said quickly. His thoughts whispered across my mind. He was wondering why I was so affected by the picture. A dozen possible reasons were already being sifted through and analysed.
"You seem upset." Typical psychiatrist. He obviously wasn't going to be satisfied without some kind of response from me. Broots was listening for my reply too. Their concern washed over me. I was touched.
"Like I said, I'm fine. It's just that, when I was looking at that photo, I suddenly wondered if Miss Parker realises how much her mother loved her."
Sydney didn't reply but gave me a considering look before nodding thoughtfully and wandering off to his office, his curiosity apparently satisfied for now. Both he and Broots felt somehow pleased with my answer and that already they both considered me a part of their team more than Mr Lyle could ever be. I felt the same way but then remembered what I was there for and knew I had to stay detached as much as possible in case my plans did not fit in with future events involving these people. I would do what I had to do, no matter what.
Over the weeks that followed, however, I became quite attached to Broots. Not only did he make me laugh with his silly jokes but also it was amazingly refreshing for someone with my abilities to be around someone who says how they feel and it matches what I know to be true. Broots was like that - if he was scared, he admitted it. He acknowledged his fears and despite them, would forge ahead and get the job done anyway. I admired that about him. People are always hiding their true thoughts, their true feelings, who they really are. Everyone pretends.
Not so Broots. Having him around comforted me in this horrible place. It also didn't hurt that he thought the world of me - I refused to contemplate how his feelings would change if he found out my secrets - and any comfort I could find was a blessing. The stress of always watching my back was slowly but surely building up inside me. My nightmares increased - if that was possible - and once I had awoken from a nightmare it was nearly impossible for me to return to sleep.
Every day I felt the tension continue to stretch ever more tightly across my emotional nerves. It had not been so bad in the Admin Department when I had just been another faceless secretary, but now as Miss Parker's assistant I was more visible - particularly to those who could potentially recognise me from my past. Sometimes I even ran across Mr Parker or Dr Raines and my breath would catch in my throat and panic would flutter on the edges of my control.
Seeing Sydney was a daily strain that was augmented by memories of my childhood. He was always there, quietly observing, the way he had done for as long as I had known him. Back then, he was a distant figure, rarely seen by us. However, every child there had strained to see him as he passed by, each holding close the idea that maybe one day they would be assigned to him. Sydney was a symbol of hope.
As for myself, I would ever so carefully reach out my senses trying to discern what type of man he was. I had not been as convinced as the other children that he deserved such a positive light. He could just be a lesser evil amongst the cavalcade of devils and monsters that inhabited The Centre. However, existing under the care of a lesser evil would have been better than what we were forced to endure. My untrained, and restrained, powers were never enough to be sure whether I could trust him. I never dared to attract his attention and reveal my gifts to him. I could not have taken the risk. Such horrifying risk especially with all the eyes that were constantly monitoring our every move. So that potential hope had always remained tantalisingly out of my reach.
Now he was right here with me every day. Now I knew what kind of man he was. And I wept inside because, even though I sensed his goodness, I still didn't know whether I could trust him. Trust can kill you. "Or set you free." Catherine's voice echoed in my mind as a reminder. Imagine working with Sydney now! Developing my potential, exploring my abilities - the way he always gently encouraged Broots showed me a hint of what it would be like. but no, it could not be. I buried those eager thoughts mercilessly and repeated to myself, Trust can kill you.
Sometimes I noticed him watching me. He was very perceptive and I knew that he could tell that I was wary of him, the way you would expect a person to be with the unpredictable Miss Parker rather than him. I sensed that this intrigued him and he wanted to know why. But he never said anything. And neither did I.
Both Broots and Miss Parker respected Sydney and valued his opinions. In fact, Broots always looked to him for validation in his daily struggle to please Miss Parker. She rarely congratulated Broots on the work he did. Mostly she was concerned with what wasn't done or couldn't be done - because their ultimate goal was not yet achieved. Often, tensions would rise and Sydney would be the one to step in and calm the situation. I sensed that it was important to her - more than it being her job - there was something else that fuelled her desire to be done with the whole thing. I couldn't easily discern what without digging further so I let it be for now.
Working with Miss Parker should have been difficult. She was very demanding and expected nothing less than complete dedication. However, I found it fairly easy to keep her happy with my work as I had my powers to enhance my ability to anticipate her next order and to do things the way she wanted without her having to spell it out. Plus, people naturally feel comfortable around me because I behave however they would like. It didn't hurt either that whenever I was there, Miss Parker's ulcer was less painful and she didn't feel as desperate for a cigarette.
Gradually, she gained more and more confidence in me and in the work I did for her and began to rely on me. Sometimes I wondered how she'd ever managed without a PA. The most important thing was that, as I was naturally a good listener, she started to open up to me a little. The Centre was a very stressful place to work and in some ways more so for Miss Parker than anyone else. Of course, Sydney was always around to offer his professional opinion and the support of a friend, however, I could see Miss Parker was craving female companionship - the kind she hadn't had since the death of her mother.
Not that I was about to braid her hair and read to her or anything else that she told me she used to do with Catherine, but I felt a certain kinship with her. We both missed Catherine beyond words and, although Miss Parker often retreated abruptly whenever she felt herself letting too much of her feelings show, I was determined to keep trying to connect with her. It sometimes felt like she was the last and only link I had left to the woman who had meant so much to me.
I wanted so much to share with Miss Parker what I knew of Catherine - and of her murder - but that involved telling her of my abilities and of my past within The Centre. I knew it was important for her to truly realise how much her mother had loved her and that Catherine would have done anything for her little girl, but could I trust Miss Parker with my secrets? What about Sydney? Broots? I didn't want to have to hide anymore. I wanted for someone to know me for a change. The stress of being back at The Centre was becoming almost unbearable and I was desperate for someone to trust, but. Trust can kill you. No, I would not trust anyone, however much I wanted to.
I was not to know, however - clairvoyance not being one of my many gifts - that soon it would be taken out of my hands and that everything was about to change.
I desperately crave feedback! Please let me know what you think of my fic - min_coates@hotmail.com
"Who the hell are you?" demanded an annoyed voice.
Broots and I looked up from where we were laughing over a joke sent to him via email and froze like small animals dazzled by headlights. The tall, attractive woman standing just inside the doors glared at us with cool eyes. The contrast of the heat of her anger and the coldness of her gaze was frightening.
Broots recovered first. "Miss Parker! This is Melinda." He trailed off as Miss Parker's stare bored into me. I was staring back. Broots looked at us both with alarm. He glanced towards Sydney's door as if willing him to appear.
I had stopped breathing. It was Catherine! My god! The only person I had ever trusted seemed to be standing right before me. I had known Miss Parker looked a lot like her mother - people had talked about it - but it had thrown me completely off-guard to find that their outward appearances were practically identical. I knew she wasn't Catherine but I reached out with my senses towards her trying to reclaim the feeling of safety and comfort that being near Catherine had always given me. I recoiled them immediately with shock. I was so disappointed I could have cried. Miss Parker was nothing like her mother at all. She felt hard, angry, dispassionate, controlled. Maybe too controlled, I thought suddenly and delved gently again.
Then her pain hit me - deep emotional hurt. She had been let down so many times that she didn't trust anyone anymore - sometimes not even herself - and she was as hungry for answers as myself. Beneath the pain and the hard, angry walls she had built up I finally found what I had been looking for - here was her mother in her and the true essence of the little girl she had once been - sweet, vulnerable and compassionate.
It was her physical pain that I could do something about. I reached out again and thought coolness towards the ulcer seething within her stomach. She visibly relaxed with relief.
I swiftly took the opportunity to close the gap between us and handed her the memo with my reassignment details on it. "I've been assigned to your team as your personal assistant, Miss Parker. Mr Jones, the Admin Manager discussed it with you yesterday."
Broots leapt in - he definitely wanted me to stay around. "Remember, you were really pis." He hesitated for a moment as Miss Parker raised her eyebrows at him. ".unhappy with the inefficiencies of the Admin Department."
"Yes, yes, whatever." She practically snatched the memo from my hands and scanned it quickly. I sent her a gentle suggestion that having me around might be useful and she announced. "I guess having you around might prove to be better than dealing with that pathetic department. I despise incompetence."
"I'm sure you will be more than happy with my work, Miss Parker." I replied, already becoming what she wanted from me. Strong without challenging her authority, confident without arrogance and showing deference to her without grovelling pathetically at her feet.
"We'll see about that. I'll let you know as we go as to what I expect from you. Do you have something to go on with now?"
"Yes, Miss Parker. Sydney gave me some typing."
"Fine. I'll call for you when I'm ready." With that she turned and marched into her office, flinging the doors open before her.
"She obviously hasn't had a good morning." I remarked dryly to Broots once her office doors had closed.
"She never has good mornings." Broots sighed dramatically. "And things have been even worse since she quit smoking. If she gives up caffeine, we'll all be doomed."
I laughed. Working with Broots was going to be something I would enjoy. In his mind, it was us two non-executive types surviving together in the murky world of The Centre. I liked that idea. I also liked that he viewed me as being 'normal' like him, meaning that we had both originally come from outside The Centre and didn't have long complicated histories with it. Little did he know.
I wondered what his opinion of me would be if he knew who I really was. Would he think I was a freak? Would he be frightened of me? Would he be first in line to see me locked up again? I thrust those dark thoughts aside - there was no need to think about it since no-one was ever going to know my secret if I could help it. Trust can kill you. Besides, why should I care what Broots thought? He was just another Centre minion after all. Wasn't he?
As the day wore on, I quizzed Broots about our team. "The chain of command doesn't seem completely clear. Who exactly is in charge of the team? Miss Parker? Or this Mr Lyle person I haven't met yet?"
Broots sighed. "You tell me! As for myself, I consider Miss Parker to be my boss. Occasionally, Mr Lyle will sweep in demanding things - usually after Miss Parker has taken care of the situation already. Oh, and then there's Brigitte." He shuddered.
"Brigitte? I've heard her name mentioned by people in the Admin Department and as a rule she wasn't referred to in a friendly manner. Didn't she get engaged to Miss Parker's father?"
"Yeah, that's really creepy." Broots shuddered again.
"Because of the age difference?" I asked.
"Well, that's part of it." He replied. His unspoken thought was, "And she once tried to kill him."
I barely batted an eyelid. Nothing surprised me about The Centre. "And what about our team's objectives? What do we do exactly?"
Broots hesitated and look apologetic. "I should probably let Miss Parker fill you in on that. Sorry."
"That's okay." I smiled at him and he brightened immediately. It's amazing the effect a smile has on some people. I made a mental note to employ it more often. Broots deserved it. Besides he made me smile anyway.
Just then a man sauntered in looking like he owned the place, a lazy grin crossing his boyish face. He was quite handsome though there was something a little slippery about him somehow which marred the overall appeal. I noticed he was missing the thumb on his left hand. So, this was the mysterious Mr Lyle. The pain of the loss of his thumb wafted over towards me quite strongly, not only the physical pain of the still healing wound but also the pain of embarrassing defeat and loss of face that it symbolised. However, I did not feel the urge to ease his pain as I had with Miss Parker's ulcer. Miss Parker's twin did not really look similar to her at all - except perhaps for those cool grey eyes - which seemed strange considering Miss Parker's extraordinary likeness to Catherine.
"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" His voice was all oily charm.
"I'm Melinda." I replied smoothly. "Miss Parker's personal assistant. I just transferred over from the Admin Department today. And you are Mr Lyle, I presume."
"That would be correct." He grinned and looked me up and down with exaggerated casualness. "Geez, if I'd known they'd send someone who looks as good as you, maybe I'd have put in a requisition for my own assistant."
Broots bristled, which pleased me for some reason, but I just lowered my eyes and feigned a blush. I held back Mr Lyle's thoughts with great care - some of the things I glimpsed in his mind that he wanted to do to me reminded me too much of my past at The Centre. I fought a sudden urge to knock him down for thinking such things about me. Instead I concentrated on Broots' essence and was calmed. Mr Lyle entered Miss Parker's office, they argued briefly and he left.
"Melinda!" barked Miss Parker's voice from the intercom on my deskphone. Broots and I both jumped.
I looked at Broots. "I guess that means I'm supposed to go see her now."
He nodded.
"I'm just letting you know now that pretty soon I'm going to be begging you to 'accidentally' disable this thing!" I indicated the intercom.
He laughed delightedly. "I'll see what I can do." He called after me. "Oh, and good luck."
Sydney materialised by my side as I was about to lean heavily against the doors to enter Miss Parker's office. He pushed one open and held it for me to go through.
"Thank you." I murmured, feeling uncomfortable being this close to him.
"Miss Parker asked me to join you for your meeting."
"Great." I replied.
"Don't worry. It'll be fine." He assured me quietly with an amused smile, assuming I was nervous about facing Miss Parker.
I nodded and entered the office. Miss Parker rose to her feet. She seemed agitated and I could feel her craving for nicotine was rising to breaking point. I took the edge off that craving with my mind and she calmed. I preferred not to have to deal with an agitated Miss Parker.
"I suppose we should brief you on what we do here." Miss Parker began briskly. "Syd?"
Sydney began, "What we are doing is trying to locate a man." He paused and it was obvious to me that neither of them was sure just how much to tell me. My heart leapt - I already knew who they were talking about. I concentrated on controlling my breathing and showing no outward sign of my inner turmoil. My soul whispered a single word - "Jarod".
Miss Parker continued. "This man is extremely intelligent and was working with The Centre on some special projects. Almost three years ago, he left The Centre and took with him," - her mind said 'stole' - "decades worth of important research. We want it back and we want him to return to continue the work he was doing."
"Why is he so difficult to locate?" I already knew why but was playing my role as innocent newcomer and that involved asking the obvious questions.
Sydney was about to answer but Miss Parker said quickly, "He moves around a lot. Like I told you, he is very smart and he doesn't really want to be found."
"I understand." I said simply - and I understood far more than they realised.
Miss Parker indicated a bundle of papers and files in front of her. "This is what I want you to work on today. This sheet on top is a prioritised list for you to follow. It should be self-explanatory - if you have any problems or don't understand something, then ask Broots before bothering me. I've indicated what I expect to be on my desk by the end of the day. The rest can wait till tomorrow." She looked at me intently. "Do what I ask, when I ask it and we will get along just fine. Understood?"
"Yes, Miss Parker." I was still feeling a little unsettled by our discussion and as I reached for the large bundle of files I accidentally knocked over the silver picture frame on her desk. I picked it up before Miss Parker could. A jolt ran through me when I saw - and felt - the enclosed photo. It was a glorious picture of Catherine smiling joyfully at the baby girl in her arms. I couldn't take my eyes from it. Miss Parker interpreted my reaction as surprise at their likeness.
She quickly took the picture from me and looked at it sadly. "That's my mother. People say all the time how much I look like her. She died when I was young."
"I'm sorry." I said softly, the requisite response. You have no idea how sorry. "I'd better get started on these files." I grabbed the bundle quickly and turned to go so that she would not see the tears forming in my eyes. Sydney did not miss them. He followed me out to my desk.
"Are you alright?" He asked gently.
"Sure. Fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I said quickly. His thoughts whispered across my mind. He was wondering why I was so affected by the picture. A dozen possible reasons were already being sifted through and analysed.
"You seem upset." Typical psychiatrist. He obviously wasn't going to be satisfied without some kind of response from me. Broots was listening for my reply too. Their concern washed over me. I was touched.
"Like I said, I'm fine. It's just that, when I was looking at that photo, I suddenly wondered if Miss Parker realises how much her mother loved her."
Sydney didn't reply but gave me a considering look before nodding thoughtfully and wandering off to his office, his curiosity apparently satisfied for now. Both he and Broots felt somehow pleased with my answer and that already they both considered me a part of their team more than Mr Lyle could ever be. I felt the same way but then remembered what I was there for and knew I had to stay detached as much as possible in case my plans did not fit in with future events involving these people. I would do what I had to do, no matter what.
Over the weeks that followed, however, I became quite attached to Broots. Not only did he make me laugh with his silly jokes but also it was amazingly refreshing for someone with my abilities to be around someone who says how they feel and it matches what I know to be true. Broots was like that - if he was scared, he admitted it. He acknowledged his fears and despite them, would forge ahead and get the job done anyway. I admired that about him. People are always hiding their true thoughts, their true feelings, who they really are. Everyone pretends.
Not so Broots. Having him around comforted me in this horrible place. It also didn't hurt that he thought the world of me - I refused to contemplate how his feelings would change if he found out my secrets - and any comfort I could find was a blessing. The stress of always watching my back was slowly but surely building up inside me. My nightmares increased - if that was possible - and once I had awoken from a nightmare it was nearly impossible for me to return to sleep.
Every day I felt the tension continue to stretch ever more tightly across my emotional nerves. It had not been so bad in the Admin Department when I had just been another faceless secretary, but now as Miss Parker's assistant I was more visible - particularly to those who could potentially recognise me from my past. Sometimes I even ran across Mr Parker or Dr Raines and my breath would catch in my throat and panic would flutter on the edges of my control.
Seeing Sydney was a daily strain that was augmented by memories of my childhood. He was always there, quietly observing, the way he had done for as long as I had known him. Back then, he was a distant figure, rarely seen by us. However, every child there had strained to see him as he passed by, each holding close the idea that maybe one day they would be assigned to him. Sydney was a symbol of hope.
As for myself, I would ever so carefully reach out my senses trying to discern what type of man he was. I had not been as convinced as the other children that he deserved such a positive light. He could just be a lesser evil amongst the cavalcade of devils and monsters that inhabited The Centre. However, existing under the care of a lesser evil would have been better than what we were forced to endure. My untrained, and restrained, powers were never enough to be sure whether I could trust him. I never dared to attract his attention and reveal my gifts to him. I could not have taken the risk. Such horrifying risk especially with all the eyes that were constantly monitoring our every move. So that potential hope had always remained tantalisingly out of my reach.
Now he was right here with me every day. Now I knew what kind of man he was. And I wept inside because, even though I sensed his goodness, I still didn't know whether I could trust him. Trust can kill you. "Or set you free." Catherine's voice echoed in my mind as a reminder. Imagine working with Sydney now! Developing my potential, exploring my abilities - the way he always gently encouraged Broots showed me a hint of what it would be like. but no, it could not be. I buried those eager thoughts mercilessly and repeated to myself, Trust can kill you.
Sometimes I noticed him watching me. He was very perceptive and I knew that he could tell that I was wary of him, the way you would expect a person to be with the unpredictable Miss Parker rather than him. I sensed that this intrigued him and he wanted to know why. But he never said anything. And neither did I.
Both Broots and Miss Parker respected Sydney and valued his opinions. In fact, Broots always looked to him for validation in his daily struggle to please Miss Parker. She rarely congratulated Broots on the work he did. Mostly she was concerned with what wasn't done or couldn't be done - because their ultimate goal was not yet achieved. Often, tensions would rise and Sydney would be the one to step in and calm the situation. I sensed that it was important to her - more than it being her job - there was something else that fuelled her desire to be done with the whole thing. I couldn't easily discern what without digging further so I let it be for now.
Working with Miss Parker should have been difficult. She was very demanding and expected nothing less than complete dedication. However, I found it fairly easy to keep her happy with my work as I had my powers to enhance my ability to anticipate her next order and to do things the way she wanted without her having to spell it out. Plus, people naturally feel comfortable around me because I behave however they would like. It didn't hurt either that whenever I was there, Miss Parker's ulcer was less painful and she didn't feel as desperate for a cigarette.
Gradually, she gained more and more confidence in me and in the work I did for her and began to rely on me. Sometimes I wondered how she'd ever managed without a PA. The most important thing was that, as I was naturally a good listener, she started to open up to me a little. The Centre was a very stressful place to work and in some ways more so for Miss Parker than anyone else. Of course, Sydney was always around to offer his professional opinion and the support of a friend, however, I could see Miss Parker was craving female companionship - the kind she hadn't had since the death of her mother.
Not that I was about to braid her hair and read to her or anything else that she told me she used to do with Catherine, but I felt a certain kinship with her. We both missed Catherine beyond words and, although Miss Parker often retreated abruptly whenever she felt herself letting too much of her feelings show, I was determined to keep trying to connect with her. It sometimes felt like she was the last and only link I had left to the woman who had meant so much to me.
I wanted so much to share with Miss Parker what I knew of Catherine - and of her murder - but that involved telling her of my abilities and of my past within The Centre. I knew it was important for her to truly realise how much her mother had loved her and that Catherine would have done anything for her little girl, but could I trust Miss Parker with my secrets? What about Sydney? Broots? I didn't want to have to hide anymore. I wanted for someone to know me for a change. The stress of being back at The Centre was becoming almost unbearable and I was desperate for someone to trust, but. Trust can kill you. No, I would not trust anyone, however much I wanted to.
I was not to know, however - clairvoyance not being one of my many gifts - that soon it would be taken out of my hands and that everything was about to change.
I desperately crave feedback! Please let me know what you think of my fic - min_coates@hotmail.com
