Disclaimer: I do not own the Clique, etc...

Warning: mild language


Chapter Two: First Cut is the Deepest

Night came and went, and before I knew it I was about to start school. Yeah, you know, the 'Public' kind-of school.

As I buttered my poppyseed bagel, the train passing by startled me, causing the knife to slip.

"Shit!" grabbing a nearby napkin to clot the cut, after stopping the blood I check to make sure the wound isn't too deep.

"Want me to get you a band-aid?" I nod in reply, and my mom heads towards the bathroom to retrieve the first aid kit.

"It should be under the sink," my Aunt shouts in my mother's direction. Looking down at my bloody finger and back at the bagel, suddenly I felt a loss of appetite.

"So, Mass, are you looking forward to starting a new school?" No! Putting on my signature, slightly malicious, a tinge innocent, smile, I respond, "Yeah." She smiles back, except unlike mine it's genuine. "Great, I knew you'd be happy here."

By now my mother has come back, with an emergency aid kit in tow. As she fussed over the cut, I took it upon myself to re-evaluate my current situation. Can my Aunt be right? Is there a chance at me being happy here?

Before I had a chance at answering my self question, my mother tugged on my sleeve and pointed to the Batman band-aid. "All done." Sighing, I get up from the kitchen stool and head back upstairs to 'my' room; maybe if I lye down I'll fall asleep and wake up from this nightmare.

Well I ended up doing exactly that, well for the lying down and sleeping part.

"Massie! Are you ready yet?" Huh? Awhh crap... Slipping out of my over sized pajama pants and into a pair of 7 For All Mankind I had lying around, I pull myself to the closet and throw on an Etnies sweatshirt.

I look like a bum.

"Massie? Are you ready?" I think about exerting my voice to shout out a 'No', but I decide that it's too much trouble. Yeah, yeah, I'll be down in a minute.

Tying my hair into a quick ponytail, as I gaze into the mirror aimlessly, I wonder when my reflection had been stolen and replaced with this hollow-eyed shadow.

"Massie, are you..." My mom barges through the door, but I can tell by her pause she is surprised; somehow. Maybe she's finally noticed how deeply all the changes have affected me.

"...Honey, I'll be down in the car waiting," she says with a motherly tenderness in her voice.

"Kay," I respond, but I find it difficult to cover the rhaspiness in my voice.


School was basically over before it had begun, and I soon found myself walking up my Aunt's front steps.

"How was your day?" Mediocre. Instead of blurting out every excruciating detail, I respond with a vague "Good." I can tell she wants to know more, but I'm not in the mood to talk. Homework.

Well, looking back, school wasn't so terrible, in fact, for these suburbia kids, it might even be the highlight of their day, but for me, it's different.

For example, I sat down at some random table during lunch, and no-one said anything. At all. No reserved tables, forbidden zones. Or maybe they do exist, but I just haven't learned of them yet.

One girl lent me a pencil during Math. She asked me if I was new, I said yes. She then proceeded to talk with me. I guess you can say we had a conversation, if getting invited to join the school's Anime club counts. I don't know what possessed me to say yes to her invitation, but it might have to do with the fact I feel worthless without anyone around me. She said her name was Ally, and was really excited I was willing to join.

Now I need to go and find out what Anime is. Sounds French. I wonder if it's some exotic foreign designer. I think I heard of an "Anime Store" before. Maybe 'Anime' makes boots. Hopefully not the kind Nina-obscena wore.

You know, I just might be able to be happy here.

--------

A/N:

Hehe, Anime a French designer. Don't worry, I won't make Massie geeky like a certain someone (shifty eyes)

About the first scene, unlike the Subways in Manahttan or Brooklyn, Staten Island is known for it's ferries and trains. So, Massie felt the train go by, which is sorta like the rumble one may feel it they stand still while the Subway is moving below.

Thanks for the support! And a shout out to everyone at Lisi's Forum!