Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.

Chapter 5

Yugi woke still on the settee. How he managed to get any sleep at all was beyond him. He though it was sheer exhaustion that had made him sleep.

He didn't move from where he lay, instead he withdrew into his thoughts. He wanted Yami back but he knew that was not going to happen and he wanted to die.

If I die, we could be together again. He thought as he concentrated on seeing Yami's face in his mind's eye. He could see him so clearly smiling at him with all his love expressed in those crimson eyes. He wanted to be with him again to see him smiling for real.

Tears rolled down his face again even though he had thought he had none left to shed. He wondered if Yami was missing him too wherever he was.

As an angel, he had not been permitted to know where humans went when they died, all the angels had their own tasks and were given knowledge specifically suited to that task only.

Yugi didn't want to move from his spot on the sofa even though he had been there for two days since the police officers had left him. He knew he should eat and drink something but he didn't want to. He had no reason to live anymore. If he stayed where he was, maybe he would just fade away and die quietly.

Up in heaven, Yami had been watching Yugi through his mirror. He had done nothing else since he had got here in spite of Jou's best efforts to get him to leave it and enjoy heaven.

"How can I enjoy this when he is left on earth in such misery? He needs me and I need him. I'll wait for him here until he joins me." Yami had said when Jou suggested that he come outside of the house.

"You're going to be sitting there a long time." Jou said sadly.

"I don't care I need to watch him."

"Very well, just call me if you need anything." Jou had said before vanishing again.

That was yesterday and Yami had not moved from his place in front of the mirror since then. He had watched his koi sleep affording him some peace for a few hours from the torture he was going through at the loss of Yami. He looked angelic when he slept and Yami realised that his original angelic nature came to the fore when he was sleeping even though he was no longer an angel.

Yami wished with all his soul for a way to return to Yugi but he knew it was impossible. He was dead and Yugi was still alive though if he didn't move or eat, he knew his koi would waste away to nothing.

"Please Yugi you have to eat." He begged the image in the mirror but he knew the other would never hear him.

Yugi was still lying in the same place later on in that day. He knew he should move and start arranging Yami's funeral but he didn't want to, it would mean having to face the fact that his koi was dead. Even though he knew he was, he didn't want to acknowledge it. He held on to the vain hope that maybe Yami would still come through the door and sweep him off his feet in a hug and passionate kiss. It was never going to happen though and he knew it.

He slowly rose from the settee and went in search of the phone book to begin the arrangements for the funeral.

Yami watched him through the mirror and his heart went out to him for having to go through all this. He wondered if he would see himself lying cold and dead in his coffin and the thought made him shudder.

What would Yugi do afterwards? Would he carry on his life without him by his side? Or would he curl up and will a way to be with Yami? He didn't know. Even though he missed him with all of his being, he didn't want Yugi's life to stop, he had wanted to be on earth so he hoped one day that he would enjoy it.

One week later a lone figure stood by a freshly dug grave as the elder of the temple spoke. Yugi shed yet more tears as he watched the casket being lowered into the hole it was such a cold and unfeeling place to be. He wanted to be in that casket with Yami's body, he would curl up and wait for death to take him and be forever with him.

He walked up and threw a single Passion Flower and watched it land on the lid. It was a beautiful casket with red and gold Japanese writing adorning it. It was the best one he could afford and he had been pleased with it. In spite of the circumstances, he had decided that his beautiful Yami deserved a beautiful casket.

The earth was shovelled into the hole making a dull thudding sound as it hit the casket lid. Yugi turned away unable to bear the thought of his koi cold and still under all that soil.

He made his slow way home. He shuffled along dragging his feet, and thinking of Yami. He stopped at the bridge over the main river that ran through Domino city. He gazed down into the murky waters and imagined that he could see Yami's face looking back up at him. The face was smiling and nodding at him as if to say;

"You have said goodbye to me, now move on."

"How can I move on? Without you I am only half a person, I am incomplete and never will be whole without you with me." Yugi told the image that vanished to be replaced by his own tear-stained face.

He carried on until he came to the apartment that had once rang with the sound of laughter and happiness but now echoed with silence that seemed deafeningly loud to Yugi.

He unlocked the door and went in locking it behind him. Slowly he walked through to the kitchen and dug around in a cupboard for a bottle of Sake he knew was in there. Maybe he could drink himself into a stupor and forget the fact that Yami was not there anymore.

Yugi never drank, the bottle was there for cooking purposes only and not really for drinking but Yugi figured it was strong enough to make him drunk fairly quickly. Opening the bottle, he walked through to the front room and began to take swigs from the bottle.

Up in heaven, Yami had watched his own funeral through the mirror. It had felt strange to watch and he had cried when Yugi threw the flower onto his casket.

He watched Yugi walk home and fetch the bottle of Sake from the cupboard.

"Don't do this Yugi." He had said to the mirror but of course, Yugi would never hear him but all the same he begged and pleaded him not to drink. But Yugi did. He finished the whole bottle and after throwing up, he fell into a drunken sleep.

He was going to destroy himself, Yami thought and there was nothing he could do about it.

Over the following few days he watched Yugi wake up, leave the house and go to the shops to buy more booze before taking it home and drinking it in an attempt to cope with his grief. Yami felt like joining him but there was nothing in heaven like that and besides at least he could watch Yugi. There was no way Yugi could see him at all.

For days Yami sat in front of the mirror just watching Yugi as he sank further and further into his depression until one day he went out as he had been doing but instead of buying booze he bought something else.

He walked home carrying his purchase and when he got in he ran a bath. Sinking into the water it soothed him and the steam served to clear his head. He had brought his purchase with him along with a glass of water.

"Yami is never coming back." He said as he emptied the bottle into his hand and looked at the little pile of small round white pills. "So I must go to him. Wherever he is, I will find him."

"Yugi no!" Yami shouted at the mirror as he realised what Yugi was about to do. "Please don't end your life like this."

Yugi paused with his hand half way to his mouth. He thought he heard a voice, Yami's voice shouting to him from somewhere in the silent house. He looked all round but could see nothing and decided that it must have been his imagination.

"I'll be with you soon my koi." He said and taking a deep breath, he put all the pills in his mouth and swallowed them down with the water.

He lay back in the water and waited for them to kick in and end his miserable existence.

Yami watched as his koi's breathing became laboured before he slipped into unconsciousness and knew that he would certainly die as no one knew where he was and wouldn't come looking for him.

It was a few hours later when Yugi's unconscious body breathed its last and he died alone and cold in the bathtub.

Yami wept for him and wondered if he would come to where he was.

"Jou?"

"I'm here." The guide said appearing suddenly in the room.

"What will happen to him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well will he join me here?"

"Well not exactly."

Yami looked scared all of a sudden.

"W…What do you mean not exactly? I thought he would come to heaven and we could be together, I thought you told me we would." Yami was looking at Jou through crimson orbs that burned with anger at being lied to like that.

"I said there was hope because of the love you two had for each other but that was based on him dying of natural causes. He hasn't died of natural causes and so he cannot come here."

"Well where is he? I shall go to him." Yami declared with determination.

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a suicide and they don't go to heaven, they go…somewhere else."

"What do you mean somewhere else? To hell?"

"Not exactly. They can't come to heaven because their souls are tainted but they can't go to hell either because their reasons are not evil or wicked. They go to a place that cannot be reached."

"Cannot? Or do you simply not want to tell me?"

"Well a few have tried to get there to rescue ones they love but none have ever returned. Most gave up on the way and remain where they gave up just simply existing for eternity."

"I will not fail." Yami vowed. He loved Yugi too much to even contemplate giving up. "Show me the way."

"You must be sure about this, there is no turning back once you choose this path."

"I'm sure." Yami said immediately. There was no way he couldn't go. He just had to find Yugi and be with him again.

"Then follow me." Jou said and led the way from the house and away from the mirror that looked like a normal mirror once again. Yami took a deep breath and followed.

TBC…

Please don't be too mad at me! It's all part of the plot I promise! See you next chapter!