AN: It is my duty to inform you that I in no way, shape, or form own the Teen Titans.
Chapter 4: I Feel Too
When morning finally came Raven felt like she hadn't gotten any sleep. It had been hard for her to fall back to sleep after waking up from her nightmare. The fact that Beast Boy had visited her didn't help either.
She sat tiredly at the kitchen table with her cup of tea in her hands. The warmth of the cup against her palms was comforting and she took a long sip. The other four Titans were eating all around her. It was one of the few times they were all quiet. Raven would occasionally look up from her cup and look at her teammates, their cruel words still fresh in her memory. But she quickly remembered that it was a dream and that her teammates, her friends, did care about her.
"Friends, I believe today we should do the hanging out at the mall of shopping," said Starfire with a smile.
"Pass," said Raven as she sipped.
"I was going to develop a new training exercise for us…" started Robin, but Starfire looked at him with her large lime jell-o eyes which started to look sad, "… but I guess I can go for a little while." Starfire immediately smiled, which made Robins heart flutter.
"I've got a few things to pick up at the electronics store," said Cyborg. "So I'm in."
"Beast Boy, shall you come as well?" asked Starfire.
Raven closed her eyes and prayed he would go. She needed some alone time. She needed to get over her bad dream. She wanted him away from her. Beast Boy was silent for a moment and looked over at Raven. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to be concentrating on something. She looked so frustrated, so overwhelmed.
"Actually, I think I'll stay behind," said Beast Boy. "I'm not really in a mall mood."
"Are you sure?" asked Robin.
Beast Boy looked at Raven again, who had sighed in a defeated tone and sadly sipped her tea. "Yeah, I'm sure."
"Raven, you do not wish to come as well?" asked Starfire, making sure.
"No," said Raven plainly. "I don't like the mall. Besides, I have some meditating to do."
"Suit your self," said Cyborg shrugging.
An hour later the three Titans were ready to go spend the day at the mall. Of course, Robin had not intended that at all, but he couldn't say no, or leave for that matter, Starfire. She had a whole day planned for her and her two teammates, but more specifically her and Robin since Cyborg would spend the whole time in the electronic stores.
"We're leaving," said Robin. "If the alarm sounds…"
"We'll contact you," said Raven, not looking up from her book. She was sitting on the couch. Beast Boy was sitting next to her with the TV remote in his hands.
"And you are absolutely, positively sure that you do not wish to join us?" asked Starfire.
"Yes," said Beast Boy and Raven for the hundredth time since breakfast.
"Okay, y'all, let's get outa here," said Cyborg. "You two behave ya selves."
"Cancel the frat party, Beast Boy," said Raven turning a page in her book.
Beast boy chuckled and Cyborg rolled his eyes. The three other Titans left and now Beast Boy and Raven were alone. Beast Boy flipped through the channels and Raven occasionally turned a page in her book. She had gotten good at tuning out everything else around her. It was the only way she could have any peace.
Suddenly Beast Boy turned the television off. He knew his teammates were gone and now he could talk to Raven. "So what was up with you last night?" he asked.
Raven growled softly and said, "Nothing."
"Come on, I know you had a bad dream or something," said Beast Boy. "If you talk about it you'll feel better."
"I feel fine now," said Raven.
"No you don't," said Beast Boy moving a little closer to her, causing her to scoot farther away from him.
"How do you know how I feel?" she asked growing agitated. "Are you an empath, too?"
"Actually, yeah, kinda," said Beast Boy.
This made Raven look up from her book. Beast Boy had moved closer once again and now they were at a friendly distance, which was really close for them. They were always at a roommate distance. "You're an empath?" she asked, very doubtful.
"Well, yeah," said Beast Boy. "I mean, you know how they say bees and stuff can smell fear? Well, because of my heightened senses I can kinda tell how people feel. I know when people are scared or angry or sad. And right now, you're feeling bad about something."
Raven had never known that he could feel people's emotions, too. She had always figured he was clueless, since he bugged her even when she was angry. But, it did make sense. And he was right, she was feeling bad. But she wasn't about to tell him that he was right.
"I'm not feeling bad about anything," she snapped. She closed her book, stood up, and headed out of the room.
"Why can't you talk to me?" he said, running after her.
"Because I don't feel like talking to people," said Raven continuing on without hesitation.
"But we're friends, Raven," he said, catching up to her. "And I don't like it when you're all sad. And don't say you're not, because I know you are."
"Then can you feel the other emotion I'm trying to suppress right now?" she hissed.
"Okay, you're getting mad," he said.
"No, really?" she said sarcastically.
"But I'm just trying to help," said Beast Boy. "That's all I'm ever trying to do for you. Why can't you accept my help?"
"Because you can't help me!" she shouted. They were standing in front of her door now. "No one can help me, Beast Boy. Please, just accept that."
"No," he said simply. "How can you know that you can't be helped if you don't ask for it? Just tell me about your bad dream and I'm sure I can make you feel better about it."
"I don't need to feel better because I'm fine," said Raven, really having trouble keeping her anger down.
"Yeah, that's why you're yelling at me," said Beast Boy sarcastically.
"I'm not yelling!" she yelled. The lights above them surged and exploded. Raven gasped and covered her mouth. He had made her yell! With anger, no less! She closed her eyes and put her hood up. "Just… leave me alone." He door seemed to open up magically and she glided in with it closing behind her.
Beast Boy sighed and rested his head against the wall. She was so frustrating! He knew she needed help, to be comforted. But she made it so difficult. Why? When he first met her, those couple years before, she hadn't been like this. He remembered her first words she spoke to them. "Maybe fighting isn't the answer." She was so shy, a loner. She looked like she was in pain; like an injured animal. When he got a little closer to her he could feel that she wanted to be accepted, to be liked.
And then she laughed at his joke. His joke! No one had ever laughed at any of his witty comments before. He tried to make the Doom Patrol laugh, but his sense of humor was looked down upon. He was never encouraged to tell his jokes, not in his whole life. And then he met her and she said he was funny! Well, she said he was kinda funny, but her smile and chuckle had been genuine. Didn't that count for anything? She was the first person to ever laugh at his joke. And now she never laughed at him at all and refused to hear any of his jokes. Why was that? What had changed?
Raven was hovering above her bed, deep in meditation. She didn't know why Beast Boy rubbed her the wrong way. The truth was that when they first met she had found him cute and sweet. He was even funny. But maybe that was because he wasn't trying so hard. His funny little quips that he made were natural. Not like the jokes he told now, that were forced and pleading for attention. That's what she didn't like about him. He seemed… fake. What had happened to the cute, sweet, funny guy she had met? Sure, he was still cute and sweet, but he tried to hard. If he just relaxed, she knew she would be much more comfortable with him.
A few hours passed and Raven was done meditating. She was feeling hungry and decided to have some lunch. She went to the common room and found Beast Boy playing some single player video game. She rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. She couldn't understand how his mind could still be functional after all of those useless video games and television he watched.
She sat down at the table after fixing herself a sandwich and some tea. She blocked the sound of the video game out and tried to enjoy her lunch. She slipped into her own little world once again began thinking about the dream with her friends.
"Hello? Raven, are you in there?"
She felt something tapping her on her forehead and she jumped. She snapped back into reality and saw that Beast Boy had been poking her brow. She swatted him away and frowned. "What?"
"Sheesh, you were really spaced out there," he said with a smile.
"I was in deep thought," she said plainly. "Now what do you want?"
"I was asking if you wanted to talk now," he said with a more serious face.
"No, I don't want to talk now or ever," she said, forgetting about her lunch and stood up so they were face to face. But… they weren't really face to face. They were face to… chin?
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Beast Boy. "Raven, I can see over your head!"
Yes, it had finally happen. Over the last few months of listening to Beast Boy moan and groan about his arms and legs aching, and him eating all the time, he had finally grown. A lot!
"Wonderful, you're officially not the shortest member of the team anymore," she said, not at all that enthusiastic.
"This is so cool!" he squealed, even though his voice was deepening and didn't really sound like a squeal anymore. "I can't wait to tell the others!"
"I'm so happy for you," she said and turned so she could retreat back to the sanctity of her room.
Beast Boy had other plans. "Oh no you don't!" he said running after her and then in front of her so she would stop. "You're not running away from me again."
"Fine," she said and she phased through the floor. She came out in her room and sighed. She had avoided another pointless discussion with Beast Boy. But her relief didn't last long.
