Someday, I may go back and put all of these in chronilogical order. Maybe.
o o o
Cloud stared at the open packages on his kitchen table, seething. He loved his friends, he really did. He would, could, and damn near did give his life for each of them, and they'd do the same for him. Despite the fact that they weren't 'supposed' to know each other, they found ways to meet and talk and laugh and interact. One fairly anonymous way was to send birthday gifts.
Cloud knew he never should have told about that night. Even if he had been drunk. Even if they'd ALL been drunk. Even if Barett had told them all about he and Dyne and their strange adventure that had ended with them buried under a pile of women's lingerie. Even if Vincent, grinning uncharacteristically, had told them about a Turk mission where he'd been undercover as a woman. He never should have told them about the Purple Silk Dress.
Because it meant he got things like these. Things that he was going to burn as soon as his wife stopped snickering at him. Things that made him wish his friends were near enough to throttle.
From Reeve, a copy of the Dress itself, yards of the finest, richest violet Mideelic silk, cut to emphasize his narrow hips and to hide the width of his shoulders. From Nanaki, a lush blond wig that would frame his face just so, hiding and blending with his natural hair. From Vincent, a garnet and amethyst necklace with matching earrings, delicately elaborate and throwing reflected darts of light around the kitchen. From Barett, a pair of elegant low-heeled shoes, the same rich rose-madder color as the dress's sash and the garnets of the necklace, also cut to hide the true size of his feet. From Cid, padding to wear beneath the dress, designed to add subtle curves to his form, all lace-edged to give the appearance of lingerie if glimpsed. And from Yuffie, a flat wooden box in the Wutaian style, holding an assortment of makeup in just the right colors to enhance the overall effect.
Cloud tore his eyes from the various packages to glare at Tifa, who was unsuccessfully trying to muffle her laughter behind her hand. "I hate my life." He said flatly.
"Oh, you do not." Tifa replied, rolling her eyes. She carefully picked up the necklace, gems and delicate gold chain falling over her fingers. "This is Icicle craftsmanship, only they do chain that fine, and I think the shoes are Mideelic, they make the best shoes there-"
"I hate" Cloud repeated. "My life."
"Cloud, this stuff is gorgeous!" Tifa protested.
"You wear it!" He protested right back.
Tifa grinned. "The dress won't fit." She smirked. "Neither will the rest of it, except maybe the necklace. It was designed for you. Besides, they want pictures."
"What!" Cloud yelled.
Tifa held up a slip of folded paper that had been tucked into the Junese wig box. " 'We want pictures' " She read. " 'Or we will be forced to force you. Cid and Barett were very adamant about this. Red.' "
Cloud groaned into his hands. "Nuh uh, I refuse." He muttered. "I am NOT going through this again."
Tifa glared at him, her hands on her hips. "Charles Andrew," She snapped, ignoring his glare at the name. "Your friends went through a lot of trouble to put this together, not to mention spent probably thousands of gil, so the least you could do is repay them a little by posing for some pictures. Besides," She added, breaking into a wicked grin. "I had these specially made for you, and I don't want them going to waste." She held out a long, thin box towards him. Cloud took it, half-fearing to look inside and wondering how he hadn't noticed her with it before. Sighing in resignation, he pulled off the wrapping and opened the lid.
Rose-madder silk gloves, cut to just past the elbow, elegantly tapered. He looked up at Tifa, eyes narrowing. "This was all you, wasn't it?" He growled.
Tifa's grin widened. "Of course. Now, lets get you changed. Otherwise I will personally arrange for Reno and Rude to come help you out, got me?"
Cloud paled, glaring. "I still hate my life." He sulked.
A couple weeks later, each former Avalanche member received a letter. Inside each was a picture of a beautiful, pouty blonde woman in a violet dress.
