"Do you hear anything, Cook?"
"Other than you breathing like an asthmatic walrus in my ear? Other than that, you mean?"
"Fuck off!"
"Sh! Idiot! Do you want to be found?"
There was a tense pause, before Zoro placed cool lips against the rim of Sanji's ear and breathed, "fuck off".
Sanji said nothing and reminded himself that there was very little chance that he could properly kick the swordsman in the cramped confines of the dark broom closet in which they had chosen to hide. He also reminded himself that considering the dire circumstances that had driven two of the strongest members of the crew to hide in said dark broom closet, there was no WAY any of this should be turning him on. God, he needed a cigarette.
"This is all so gross." Zoro whispered for about the sixteenth time that hour, "I mean, I didn't even know that Chopper had a, uh, you know, thingie. He hides it pretty well."
"Yes, well, they're called 'pants', Asshole. They come in pretty handy for The Hiding of Thingies."
"Well, if you're so smart, then why don't you tell me how come if this is suppose to be 'mating season' for reindeer, why Chopper keeps going after all of the MEN on the ship? Now that is just freaky."
"An interesting observation coming from a man whose hand is resting on my ass."
"I have to put it somewhere!"
"Stop talking to me."
There was a period of blessed silence, before Zoro began to shift pleasantly behind Sanji. The blond, who had been stuck all morning surrounded by the heat and scent of his irritating lover, finally gave in, and allowed himself to lean back into the wonderful weight of the other man.
"Hey, Cook?"
"Yeah?"
"I have to pee."
