Tony made his way over to Tim just as the man was hanging up his phone. "Hey. Everything okay?"
"Yeah. The San Diego office has gotten in over their heads on a case, so I have to send them some backup," Tim said.
"Oh. I thought the assistant directors were going to be handling the offices outside of our area," Tony said.
"They are, but some things still need to make it up to me. Besides, Vance was overseeing the California offices," Tim said before rubbing his eyes. He was tired. He hadn't slept great last night, or any night since Jenny went missing. He tried, but he when he wasn't having nightmares about whatever Jenny was going through, he dreamed about his own past.
"You didn't sleep much, did you?" Tony asked his friend.
"A couple of hours. Technically, that's only a couple of hours less than I usually sleep," Tim said.
"I hate that that doesn't surprise me. You should go home and sleep. You're the one that said we needed rest," he pointed out.
Tim nodded. "Yeah, and I will after I talk to Gibbs. I gotta do it before I lose my nerve, or before Abby beats me to the punch."
"Gibbs isn't going to judge you, Tim. If there's anyone on this planet who understands even a flicker of what it means to lose absolutely everything, it's Leroy Jethro Gibbs," Tony said. Gibbs wouldn't know exactly what Tim went through. He doubted anyone would, but Gibbs would probably come the closest.
"I know," Tim said. Gibbs knew what it was like to lose his family too. Tim could remember silently emphasizing with him when he found out what happened to Gibbs' wife and daughter. Gibbs wasn't tortured physically, and he didn't have to go into hiding, but he lost pretty much all that he loved. Tim understood that. He wished he could've helped Gibbs in some way, but he also knew that even if he could've been honest with Gibbs about himself, it wouldn't make him feel better. Nothing would. "That doesn't mean he won't think I made the wrong call by keeping silent."
"No one can know what would've happened if you'd spoken up. All of this might have just happened sooner," Tony said.
"Yeah, that's possible. I'm gonna go talk to Gibbs. I'm sure the doctors are done by now," Tim said.
"Yeah, okay. I'll keep the others out until you're done," Tony said. The only person he foresaw having a problem with was Abby. The others would have no problem respecting Gibbs and Tim's privacy.
"Thanks," Tim said before heading back into Gibbs room. When he got inside, he saw that Gibbs had been sleeping and had just opened his eyes when Tim came in. "Sorry, Gibbs. I'll come back later." He wanted to get this over with, but he wanted to let Gibbs rest if he could. He had been through a lot. He needed to sleep.
"No, stay. We need to talk. Wanna know what else is going on. There's more," Gibbs said.
"There is," Tim admitted. He then walked over to the chair next to Gibbs' bed and sat down. "This isn't a conversation I ever intended to have with anybody, and I've already had to have it twice. There are things about me you don't know Gibbs. In fact, I'd say there's not much about me you do know. The man who kidnapped Jenny and tried to kill you, I know him. He's not just a face in a database for me. I've been in the same room as him on several occasions. It's how I'm so certain he did this."
Gibbs frowned a little, not understanding how McGee could know a man like that. If it were anyone else, he'd say that maybe McGee came across him in the path of his career in law enforcement, but Gibbs had known McGee almost his entire career. And McGee wasn't the type to have dealings with men like that in his personal life, so Gibbs wasn't sure how he would know him. Then he read McGee's face and he realized exactly how he knew him. He'd seen looks like that before. "You were his victim."
Tim nodded. "To my knowledge, until you, I was the only victim of his to ever survive. That's how he's made it this long. He doesn't leave people alive. He kills everyone that comes even close to stopping him. I was the only exception, and only because I got lucky, and he got cocky."
"When?" Gibbs asked.
"I was twelve when I first laid eyes on him," Tim said.
"You see something you shouldn't have?" Gibbs asked.
"No. I wasn't his enemy, my father was. It was my father's job to stop him. My mother, my sister, and I were just collateral damage to him, and a way to make my father suffer more before he killed him. He killed my mother and sister before my father for that very reason," Tim said.
"Damn it! This isn't in your file," Gibbs said. Not that he could blame his agent for that. If it was him, he wouldn't want it in his file either. He would damn well make sure no one ever found out. Hell, he'd done his hardest to make sure as few people as possible knew about Shannon and Kelly. People looked at you different when they found out you went through something like that.
"Damn straight it's not. Like I said, I never intended for anyone to find out. I'm only telling you now because I have to. Because it's relevant," Tim said.
"There's info in your file about your family. A living family," Gibbs pointed out.
Tim nodded. "My foster parents. When I got away from Acosta, they rescued me, and I was placed with them. Not even they know about all this. The only thing they know about my past was that I was severely tortured. They don't know details."
Gibbs shut his eyes sadly. He always thought that McGee was the lucky one on his team. Tony and Ziva both had troubled pasts that creeped up from time to time. McGee always seemed so adjusted. Gibbs should've known better. He knew not to take things at face value.
"My foster father, John McGee, he helped with my file. He pulled some strings to keep certain things out of it."
"So, your name isn't really Timothy McGee, is it?" Gibbs asked.
"Yes and no. It's my name on record. I have a legal social security number to match it. I wouldn't tell anyone my name, so they had to make something up. My name was Jasper. Jasper Shepard III," Tim told him.
Gibbs looked at him in disbelief. He wasn't a man who could be easily shocked, but McGee had managed to do it several times in the last hour alone. He had no idea. He'd had no idea the hell that his agent had been put through. He had no idea that he was family to a woman he'd loved, whom he still loved. He was floored. "Your father was Jenny's brother."
Tim nodded.
"Does she know?" Gibbs asked. He didn't think she did. Not even Jenny was that good at hiding something like that. Honestly, it shocked him that McGee was this good at hiding it. McGee was the last person he would suspect could hide something this big.
"About me? No. She thinks I'm dead. I know I probably seem cruel for allowing that, but you have to understand that I have a target on my back. I always will until either myself or Acosta are dead. That means that anybody I love also has a target on their back," Tim explained.
"You were trying to protect her," Gibbs realized. God, he couldn't even imagine what all this had to have been like for Tim. He had just been a little kid. He lost absolutely everything and then was tortured for who even knew how long. He had to rebuild his whole life from scratch without even the few people left in the world he loved because including them would've put him and them in danger. These were the kind of things that would break grown men, and he'd had to go through it as a child.
"Yeah, and it worked out perfectly. I'm so sorry, Gibbs. You shouldn't have had to pay for my past," Tim said.
"This is not your fault, Tim. You got caught up in something that had nothing to do with you and you did your best to handle the situation, and given that you were so young, you did a damn good job of it," Gibbs said.
"If I had said something…"
"You don't know what would have happened. I'd have done the same thing, Tim. If staying dead would keep my family safe, I'd do the same thing. You couldn't anticipate what would happen years in the future. Jenny would tell you the same if she was here," Gibbs said.
"If I don't get to talk to her again and tell her the truth, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself," Tim said sadly.
"You will get that chance. We're gonna find her, and we're gonna make this son of bitch pay! You stop blaming yourself because I can't head slap you right now," Gibbs said.
Tim managed a small smile. "Got it, Boss."
"Go home and get some sleep, Director. I think you may need it more than me," Gibbs said.
"You might be right," Tim said before standing up and heading for the door.
"Tim, be careful. He has her, he already knows you're alive," Gibbs said.
"I will," Tim promised before walking out of the room.
