Author's note: It figures. It totally figures that Fanfictionis down the day I finish writing this story...but that's okay! Because I'm posting it now!

So, this is it. The end of the story. I think I tied up all the loose ends into nice, little, shy-guy-shaped bows. Anyways, thanks, everyone who reviewed! It was looking in my inbox and seeing all these reviews, and all these people wondering about the purple shy-guy.

Now, all questions will be answered. Most, anyway.

And, in case anyone's wondering, I'm posting this and the epilogue at the same time. They're both kind of the same chapter... I just liked how it looked all separated out.

And awaaaay we go!...


They followed the purple shy-guy, with his big, steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs balanced precariously on top of his yellow, polka-dotted party hat, all over the mushroom kingdom that day.

They leapt over goombas in the ground-level er… levels, trudged through the dank depths of the subterranean sewer levels, hopped from cloud-to-cloud in the airborne levels; even did the backstroke in the underwater levels. All the while wondering: "How in all of Mushroom Kingdom is that plate of spaghetti staying on his head!"

"The sun's starting to set," Peach observed, attempting to wring the water out of her dress, "He can't be going much farther!"

At that moment, they topped a small rise in the field, and found themselves standing before the horror that was… a cheep-cheep bridge.

It hung over the water at a seemingly safe distance, but, as all residents of the Mushroom Kingdom know, this was not so. For the moment someone stepped on that bridge, be it the largest Hammerbro, or the smallest goomba, the cheep-cheeps would come flying out of the river, fangs bared (well, they were fish, so they didn't really have fangs… but you get the idea) to attack.

At the edge of this peril-ridden bridge, the purple shy-guy paused. He visibly adjusted the spaghetti on top of his yellow, polka-dotted party hat, took a deep breath, and stepped onto the bridge.

Immediately, a horde of vicious cheep-cheeps leapt out of the water below, flinging themselves at the purple shy-guy.

Time seemed to stand still, the shy-guy on the bridge, the cheep-cheeps bearing down on him.

"I can't watch…" Daisy gasped, hiding her face in the folds of her dress.

The purple shy-guy narrowed its eyes, and time resumed its natural pace. Dust flew from ground as the purple shy-guy raced at an incredible pace across the bridge, leaving the dumbfounded cheep-cheeps floundering on the bridge in his wake.

Upon reaching the other side of the bridge, he stopped adjusted his plate of spaghetti, and, satisfied, continued to walk.

Toadsmill cheered, "He made it!"

"That was cool! But… er… how are we going to do that?" Joe, the expendable koopa troopa, asked.

This question was followed by an uneasy silence.

… which was broken by Luigi, "Don't give up, everyone! I know we can make it! We've come this far, what's one measly, little cheep-cheep bridge?"

This question was followed by another silence. This time, longer than the first.

"Well, uh, let's go!" Luigi punched his fist into the air, trying to seem fearless and enthusiastic.

"Well, okay." Peach said grudgingly, "But if I get even one ripped seam because of this, I'm making you pay for it!"

"Why don't you just sew it yourself?" Daisy put a finger to her chin, puzzled. "I mean, you made quick work of those curtains earlier this week."

Peach gave the clueless princess a death-glare, "Now is not the time to bring that up, Daisy dear."

Mario slapped a hand to his face, "Let's just get this over with…"

"Yo…" (Yeah.)

"That's the spirit!" Luigi jumped up and ran down the hill heading for the bridge, the other following close behind. He screeched to a stop just before stepping onto it. "Er… ladies first."

"What? No way!" Peach and Daisy skidded to a stop beside Luigi, followed by Yoshi and Joe.

Unfortunately, Mario, who was bringing up the rear, was unable to stop in time (as he was still coming down the hill) and crashed into Toadsmill, who stumbled into Yoshi, who fell forward onto Joe.

Well, we ALL know what happens when you land on top of a koopa troopa: he goes into his shell!

So… Joe popped into his shell.

"Ouch…" Mario picked himself up from on top of Yoshi. He rubbed his head bad temperedly, "Why'd we stop?"

"We're trying to figure out who goes first across this bridge." Luigi motioned towards the cheep-cheep bridge.

"Not us!" Daisy and Peach announced.

"Yo-yoshi shi yo! Shi yo-yo yoshi!" (You're all such babies! I'll go across first if it'll stop your arguing!) Yoshi jumped up from the ground and, with a huff, took a step towards the bridge…

… and accidentally kicked Joe's shell.

"WAAAAH!" The koopa troopa's missle-like shell rocketed off across the bride, knocking cheep-cheeps left and right.

"Everyone, quick!" Luigi scrambled onto the rickety boards, "CHARGE!"

Luigi, Mario, Peach, Daisy, Yoshi, Toadsmill, and Mario all raced after Joe, dodging the cheep-cheeps flying in the small koopa troopa's wake.

At the end of the bridge, everyone jumped as Joe's shell ricocheted off the last plank of the bridge and began zooming back towards them.

As soon as the koopa troopa's protection was gone, the cheep-cheeps attacked in force. Everyone dove off the bridge.

"Yipe!" Mario yelped, a cheep-cheep grazing his red plumber's cap.

Safe at last, everyone but Luigi collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

"What are you guys all lying around for?" Luigi pointed over the next hill, "The purple shy-guy is getting away!"

"Weege, give us a sec." Mario panted.

Toadsmill, gasping for breath, raised his hand faintly and asked a question (hoping to distract Luigi from going on) "What do we do about Joe?"

The green-clad plumber waved a hand dismissively, "He'll be fine, so long as he doesn't come out of his shell. Now hurry up! Pleeeeeeease!" he begged, desperate to catch up with the purple shy-guy.

"Okay, okay. Keep your overalls on, bro." Mario stood up, dusting off his behind.

"Quick! He's probably just over this hill!" Luigi ran as fast as humanly possible up the brush-covered hill.

It was a tall hill. And steep. And the further they went, the more shrubbery there was. Soon, they were plowing through a veritable up-hill jungle.

"Huff… huh… how… much farther…?" Peach gasped. She wiped sweat from her delicate brow with a soft, gloved hand.

Ironically, the second the princess voiced her complaint, the ground leveled out.

They had reached the top.

"Oh. Nevermind." Peach said.

And there, at the top, was a wide, grassy clearing.

"Hey, guys! Check out that wide, grassy clearing!" Toadsmill pointed.

And in the middle of the wide, grassy clearing, was a house.

"And there's a house in the middle of it!" Daisy exclaimed.

Well, actually, it was more like a cottage. The old-fashioned kind, you know, with a thatched roof and everything.

"Yo-yo-yo shi-shi! Yoshi?" (Sweet! I've always wanted to see one of these! Is it true you can eat the thatch?)

Also, next to the house, was a large, green warp-pipe.

"Looks kind of like the drain under our sink…" Mario stroked his mustache.

Ahem… I'm the narrator. Will you guys be quite and just let me do my job!

"Er… sorry." The group apologized sheepishly.

Anyways, as I was saying, next to the house, was a large, green warp-pipe.

And, lo and behold, there, standing in front of the large, green warp-pipe, was… dramatic pause… the purple shy-guy.

He stood there, stock-still, his plate of spaghetti balanced carefully on top of his yellow, polka-dotted party hat.

"What's he doing?" Daisy whispered, forcing herself to the front of the group.

"I dunno. I can't see." Luigi mumbled, "I'm going to find a better place to watch from."

"You mean a better vantage point?" Toadsmill offered.

"Whatever!"

He crept carefully around the clearing, taking care to avoid snaking roots and dry twigs.

Luigi found a place directly to the purple shy-guy's left, and crouched there, watching.

Almost immediately, he was joined by his brother, Mario.

"This is it…" he said in a hushed voice, "We finally get to see what the purple shy-guy is doing with that plate of spaghetti…"

"… and find out where he got that incredibly fashionable hat." Peach, who had also joined them, added.

"You think he'd tell us where he got that cool mask too?" Daisy slipped in-between Mario and Peach, much to their annoyance.

Yoshi poked his head through the bushes, "Yo-yoshi. Shi-shi yoshi." (He'd better. After all the trouble we've gone through…)

"I'm hungry…" Toadsmill commented randomly, so as not to be left out of the last, climactic exchange of dialogue.

They all waited, their gazes trained on the purple shy-guy.

They watched intently as the purple shy-guy stood in front of the large, green warp-pipe.

Standing.

Standing.

Standing.

Luigi could hear the shy-guy's breathing.

Peach could hear a bug buzzing around.

Daisy didn't hear the bug, or she would have freaked out.

Yoshi could hear Toadsmill chewing gum.

Mario smacked the bug.

Toadsmill swallowed the gum.

The bug died.

The author decided to end this meaningless update on everyone's activities.

After a seemingly endless expanse of time, (either two hours, or twenty-six seconds. No one could be sure.), the purple shy-guy reached up, taking hold of the steaming plate of spaghetti resting on his party hat.

He held it reverently for another seemingly endless expanse of time, and then, without further ado, tossed it into the warp-pipe. After doing so, he proceeded to dance around the warp-pipe happily.

The group in the bushes all stared.

"… That was it?" A disappointed look spread over Luigi's face.

"Yoshi yo shi-shi!" (That didn't even make sense!)

Mario could see the empty look in his brother's eyes. He patted him on the back, "Hey, don't worry about it, bro. At least we found out what he was doing with all that spaghetti."

"But… but… there must be something more!" Luigi stammered, "Some reason for him to do it! An overbearing boss, or… or a monster that needs appeasing, or something! This was just… just… a waste of time!" The bitter plumber threw his cap onto the ground and turned to go.

"Er… but what about his incredibly fashionable hat?" Peach shifted uncomfortably, brushing twigs from her dress.

"Yeah, we didn't find out about that yet!" Daisy piped up.

"Hold up, Weege." Mario caught Luigi by the collar, "We can't go just yet."

"How do we ask the shy-guy if he always runs away when he sees us?" Toadsmill asked.

"I've got an idea." Mario announced, fishing in Luigi's overalls for a moment. He made a face, and pulled out a half-eaten bologna sandwich, "What the… Luigi! I thought I told you to throw this thing away!"

"But that would be wasting food!" Luigi screwed up his face, "Like that shy-guy wasted that spaghetti! Ugh, I hadn't even thought of that yet!"

Mario tossed the sandwich aside and resumed searching. "Aha!" He pulled out the shiny hubcap Luigi had picked up earlier. "Wait here just a second."

Holding the hubcap over his face like a mask, Mario broke cover and walked into the purple shy-guy's clearing.

"Hey, uh, purple shy-guy!" Mario called, trying his best to make his voice sound kind of squeaky, like a shy-guy's.

The purple shy-guy stopped dancing and turned to Mario, "Oh, my!" he exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, "It's been a long time since I've had visitors!"

"Um… yeah." Mario mumbled, "Say, I've got some friends hiding in the bushes, you mind if they come out too?"

"Friends? Of one with such a shiny, round mask? Of course!"

"And you won't run away?"

The purple shy-guy cocked his head, "Nope."

"Just making sure. Hey guys! Come on out!" Mario waved the others into the clearing.

Upon seeing the others, the purple shy-guy's face clouded, "Hey… you're those creepy stalker guys who were trying to take my spaghetti! Ha, well you're too late THIS time, you spaghetti-snatching psychos!"

This statement seemed to shock Luigi out of his funk, "What? Take your spaghetti? No! We just wanted to know what you were doing with it!"

"And where you got that incredibly fashionable hat!" Peach and Daisy added.

"… what? Hat? Fashionable?" The purple shy-guy shuddered.

Toadsmill's brow furrowed, "What's the matter?"

"I'm afraid of fashion." Came the small, squeaky answer.

"Afraid… of fashion!" Peach paled, looking as though she would faint.

Daisy did faint. Yoshi just barely managed to catch her.

"Yeah… awkward, I know." The purple shy-guy shuffled his feet, kicking at a tiny rock.

"So… if you don't mind me asking…" Luigi removed his cap shyly, "Why are you throwing platefuls of spaghetti down this warp-pipe?"

The purple shy-guy perked up immediately and began to hop up and down, "Because… it's fun! You should try it sometime! To see all the noodles zooshing away… it's great! I don't really like spaghetti anyway."

"What!" Mario gaped, dropping his hubcap mask. "Then why do you make it every day?"

"Hey, you're not a shy-guy!" The purple shy-guy frowned. After a moment of considering whether to freak out or not, he shrugged, "Er… I won a lifetime supply of the stuff from Gary Goomba's Grocery Store. I've got to get rid of it somehow! It's cluttering up my whole house…"

"Purple shy-guy," Luigi threw an arm around the small, purple shy-guy, "Have you found the right people for the job!"

"… you mean, you'll help me get rid of the spaghetti?" The purple shy-guy looked up at Luigi incredulously.

"We'll have your place cleaned out in no time flat!" Mario rubbed his round stomach, indicating the size of his appetite.

"All right!" The purple shy-guy cheered, "Let's go to my place!"

"We'll have to hurry," Toadsmill squeaked, "It's almost dark!"

"No we won't! I live right there!" The shy-guy pointed to the cottage next to the warp pipe.

"… you live right next to the warp-pipe!" Luigi's mouth hung open, "But then… why do you walk all over the Mushroom Kingdom to get here!"

The purple shy-guy looked up innocently, "It's the scenic route."

"… good enough for me!" Luigi grinned, "Let's go get something to eat!"

The others all cheered.

"Yo-yoshi shi-yoshi-shi?" (Can I get a little help here?) Yoshi dragged the still-fainted Daisy a few feet.

"Oh, just leave her out here." The purple shy-guy advised from his doorstep, "She'll be fine. Plus, my house is a little… cramped… at the moment." He opened the door, and twenty-or-so boxes of spaghetti tumbled out into the clearing.

Yoshi laid Daisy gently in the soft grass, "Yo… yoshi. Shi-yo!" (Well… all right. Let's go!)

Chattering happily, the group, (minus Daisy), crammed into the purple shy-guy's house. Toadsmill was the last to go in.

He paused outside the door, and ran back to peer down the warp-pipe, "I wonder where this goes…?"

"Toadsmill? Are you coming?" Peach's voice came from inside the house.

"Oh, er, yes, your highness!" He cast one last look at the warp-pipe, and scurried inside, shutting the door behind him.

The already lengthening shadows in the clearing lengthened yet more as the sun sunk slowly behind the horizon.

The group inside decided they would stay the night at the shy-guy's place.

Soon, the happy sounds of plumbers, dinosaurs, and toads eating spaghetti died down, and were gradually replaced with soft snores. Softer than chainsaws, anyway.

In the middle of the night, when moonlight shone brightly down in the shy-guy clearing, Daisy stirred.

"Hm… mm…" She opened her eyes, sitting up groggily. She yawned, and rubbed her eyes. Then, suddenly, a bolt of knowledge seemed to strike her. Her eyes widened, and she cried out excitedly, "I… I remember where I'm from! My kingdom! I remember!"

At this moment, Joe's shell, (with Joe inside), came zipping up the hill.

Daisy, however, didn't notice. She was too ecstatic, "I can't believe I remember! I had better shout this to the world before something happens to make me forget!" She struck a heroic pose, just as Joe's shell hit a rock and bounced into the air at Daisy's head level, "I am Daisy, princess of-"

'WHACK!'

"… rats…" Daisy wavered, and dropped back to the ground, unconscious.

After bouncing on Daisy's head, the small koopa troopa's shell flew threw the air and 'plunk' right into the warp-pipe…