Tracey didn't think. She didn't stop to consider what she was doing, for what reasons she was running out of her apartment, nearly without her coat or keys, into the cold night air. She just slammed her door and ran. The stairs, the lobby, the sidewalk all passed in a blur. She was three blocks away from her apartment, pushing through crowds of people hurrying out of the rain, before she stopped and hailed a cab. Wet and cold, having forgotten to do up the front of her coat, Tracey recited the name of the hospital Branch had given her before she'd hung up and told the driver to hurry. He seemed to get the message from the wild eyed look he caught in the rear view mirror, the slamming of his back door and the erratic movements of his new passenger. He couldn't be sure, as she had been soaked by the rain, but he thought he saw a tear roll down one alabaster cheek.

Within fifteen minutes, the taxi pulled into an ambulance bay of the large hospital and the small brunette ripped a twenty out of her coat pocket, dropping it through the passenger side window onto the seat. The cab driver called his thanks after her but she was already through the front doors, her red coat whipping out of sight.

Tracey was momentarily blinded by the brightness inside the hospital walls. She spun around looking for some sort of indication of where she would find Kelly. She hadn't thought this far ahead. Spotting a nurse scribbling something down behind a counter, Tracey rushed to the station, ignoring the few surprised looks she received from three suits and a kid being wheeled along by a teenager. The nurse looked up at Tracey and smiled slightly, a gesture no doubt intended to instil some calmness in the brunette. Unsuccessfully.

"Kelly Gaffney. She's a District Attorney. She collapsed somewhere… Where is she?" Tracey wasn't as concise as would probably have been helpful but she didn't care. She needed to see Kelly. She needed to make sure she was alright. She needed to be with her. Now. The nurse looked over to her computer and typed something into a search engine. She paused and then turned back to Tracey, looking her over with a mixture of sympathy and caution.

"She's here. She's in ICU. Are you a family member…?" Tracey nearly stamped her foot in frustration, turning her head to look down the corridor. She tried to calm herself, biting her lip and holding back the tears that threatened to give her away. The nurse took in her obvious distress and lifted her hand up onto the counter, encouraging Tracey to talk. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, looking down at the floor. She then refocussed her attention onto the nurse.

"My name is Tracey Kibre. I work at the DA's office. Ms Gaffney is my partner. I need to see her." Tracey stated, only just holding herself together. The nurse nodded, not giving any indication of her understanding of the reference to the working or personal relationship between the two women, and picked up the phone. Tracey took a step back, allowing herself to breathe and taking a moment to collect herself. She didn't listen to the conversation the nurse was having but instead ran her fingers through her wild, rain slicked curls and prayed for intervention. She registered the click of the phone being put down and looked up at the smiling face of the hospital nurse, now devoid of any guardedness at all.

"I just spoke to the administrator. It seems that someone very high up in your office called ahead of you. ICU is on the third floor. Ms Gaffney is in room seven." Tracey exhaled heavily and shot the nurse a very short, very tired smile before heading towards the elevator. She caught it just before the doors closed and jammed her thumb into the button for the third floor. She didn't catch the look she received from the handsome 30 something doctor in his white coat, the other occupant of the lift, but counted the seconds as she waited for the doors to open. She rubbed her forehead with one hand, hoping and wishing and praying that nothing had happened to Kelly, nothing she couldn't fix. She was terrified at what could have got Kelly rushed to hospital. She was a thread away from breaking down right there in the elevator.

The doors slid open and Tracey's neck snapped up to read the silver Intensive Care Unit sign across the hall before stepping out into the corridor. A door to her right was numbered 11 so Tracey twisted to the left and rushed down the hall, skirted by nurses and visitors. Catching sight of room seven, she slowed a little as the door opened and nearly ran into Chris Ravell.

"Whoa! Tracey. There you are. Branch got a hold of you, then." He put out his hands to steady Tracey and as he touched her forearms, he saw she was shaking. The shock on his face turned to concern as he scanned Tracey's wet hair, shaking limbs and frightened eyes. "Hey, are you alright?" Tracey jumped at his touch.

"Of course I'm fine. Why are you here? Where's Kelly?" she demanded. Chris took half a step back, raising his hands but maintaining his concerned expression.

"I was with her when she collapsed. We were checking out a new crime scene. She looked pretty sick but then she just fainted without any warning. She's inside, she's still unconscious…" Chris stepped forwards again as Tracey tried to push past him into the room. "Hey, wait a second.." Tracey shook him off and answered with ferocity belying her stature.

"Get the hell off me!" Chris stepped back, away from the fiery brunette and allowed her entrance to the room. She didn't spare another second on him, instead choosing to push the door open and step into the quiet hospital room. Across from her was a bed and in the bed, looking tiny and frail, was Kelly. She looked like she was sleeping. Someone had changed her work clothes for a hospital gown and she had a drip in her arm that hung high up next to the bed. Tracey stared at her partner, so small and defenceless. She hadn't been there to help her. She'd abandoned her.

Tracey let out a strangled sob and crossed the room to stand next to Kelly's bed. She leaned over and brushed a strand of hair across her face to tuck it behind her ear. Then she took Kelly's pale hand in her own smaller ones and brought it to her lips, kissing the cool skin as tears began to slide down her face.

"I'm sorry, Kelly. I am so, so sorry."

Tracey lost count of the hours she stood there. Doctors and nurses came in and out but none of them questioned her presence. No other visitors entered the room. In the early hours of the morning, the nurse from the front desk came in and persuaded Tracey to sit next to Kelly, as she would not leave the room. She introduced herself as Lena and reassured Tracey that Kelly would be fine. Tracey's responses were limited at best and so Lena left her alone with a coffee that quickly went cold and was forgotten.

All Tracey could think of was how she wasn't there when Kelly collapsed, how had missed the signs of Kelly's illness, how she would not be able to survive if Kelly died. Every time the possibility crossed her mind, she shut her eyes and failed to fight off more hot tears. This was all her fault.

Tracey felt warm and secure and someone was stroking her head gently. Long slim fingers curled through her hair and down her neck over and over. Through the fog of sleep she smiled. Then she remembered where she was.

Tracey's eyes flew open and she sat up, shaking herself awake. She was greeted by the sight of a white hospital room filled with afternoon light but most of all a pale but smiling Kelly. Tracey's eyes raked over her partner, taking in the dark circles under her eyes, the obvious weight loss, the ghostly hue of her skin. But her hair was as golden as the day and her eyes as bright and blue as the sky. Tracey reached her hand not held in Kelly's and touched her cheek, making sure she was real. She watched as Kelly nuzzled her hand and a smile of pure happiness spread across Tracey's tired face, her dark eyes sparkling.

"Hello, sleepyhead. Sweet dreams?" Kelly asked, twisting her head to kiss Tracey's palm. The brunette laughed, throaty with sleep. Her hand dropped to Kelly's lap, brushing the hospital gown the younger woman wore. Tracey noted how it hung on her. God, when did she get this thin? But that shining smile still graced Kelly's face.

"Not as sweet as here and now." Tracey replied. They sat there, Tracey in the plastic chair by Kelly in her hospital bed, and looked at each other for one long moment. Tracey was overtaken by the incredible urge to kiss Kelly, touch her, feel her, reaffirm her existence, her wellbeing and celebrate the fact that she was alive. She had never been so scared in all her life as when she heard Arthur Branch's voice over the phone, saying Kelly was in hospital. Never. And now she had Kelly here, alive, and all she wanted to do was hold her and be as close to her as she possibly could.

But Kelly wasn't hers anymore. Tracey knew that. All her actions thus far had been urgent, rash and ridiculous. The more she thought about it, the more horrified she became. She'd hung up on her boss, run out of her apartment, in the rain, nearly cried in front of the on duty nurse, attacked her colleague and spent countless hours by her partner's bedside. Tracey looked down to find a pale pink blanket had fallen down onto her lap and that her coat had been removed, laid out underneath her. Kelly caught the change in demeanour and nodded towards the blanket.

"When I woke up, you were asleep next to me. I had to go for tests but you looked so tired…" Kelly paused, an anxious look on her face. "Lena, the nurse, said she'd look after you." Tracey nodded once, trying to figure out her position. Kelly was in hospital and she was being taken care of? No, it should be nurses looking after Kelly, not Tracey. And here she was, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around Kelly and greet her lips with her own, slowly then fast and then slowly, again and again. But Kelly wasn't hers any longer. She had no right to be thinking those thoughts. Tracey shook her head and removed her small hand from Kelly's.

"Right. Well… how are you?" her voice sounded hollow and Kelly winced at the sound. The looked hurt and a little confused but realisation kicked in. She had no right to treat Tracey like she did. They were no longer a couple. Kelly had seen to that. She thought bitterly of all the pain she had put Tracey through. It took all of her little energy to hold back angry tears. This was all her fault.

"I'm ok. Tired. They took me for a CT scan earlier and took blood samples. I'm kinda dizzy, actually. But that's why they made me sit in a wheel chair for most of it." She smiled a little, hoping to encourage Tracey out of her shell. Her partner didn't take the bait but sat quietly, looking to the floor. Kelly damned her stupidity. But the urge to look after Tracey won out over her own self pity or discipline. "You look dead, Tracey. Why don't you get a coffee? I'll be fine here." The last comment was unnecessary, Kelly realised, as Tracey slowly stood and folded the blanket that had been so carefully draped over her body, dropping it on top of her red coat. She was here as a colleague and maybe, at a stretch, a reluctant friend, driven by a sense of duty. She didn't need the encouragement.

"That's probably a good idea." Tracey replied, a dull monotone softening her voice. She took one lingering, regretful, painful look at Kelly and left the room to search for answers to questions she didn't want to ask.

An hour later, after splashing her face with water in the bathroom and eventually finding a coffee machine worth any money, Tracey walked slowly along the corridor towards Kelly's room. She was so out of herself that she didn't notice Hector and Chris until they stood up in front of her outside Kelly's door. She looked at them both with surprise until she remembered her exchange with Chris the night before. She blushed at the memory. Hector stepped forward, holding his cap in his hands.

"Hey, Tracey. How's Kelly doing?" he asked in his low rasping voice. Tracey pulled out a smile and nodded to him.

"Yeah, she's doing ok. I think." She tried to keep thoughts of Kelly to a low buzz in her mind. Hector shifted a little and returned to his plastic seat in the corridor.

"That's good." he mumbled, toying with the brim of his cap. Tracey's eyes crept across to Chris who stood with his coat still on, hands in pockets and scarf draped around his neck. He watched her carefully. Tracey's shoulders dropped and she shook her head.

"I'm really sorry, Chris. For the way I behaved last night. It was inexcusable.." Tracey began, regretting how she had pushed her colleague (hell, her friend) away the night before. She noted Hector looking studiously away, obviously aware of what had happened to some extent.

"Tracey, it's fine. Really. You don't have to apologise." Chris' soft tones made Tracey look up. His dark eyes were filled with understanding. He was very calmly pulling the father routine and giving her space. She smiled up at him and touched his arm with the hand not holding her coffee.

"I am sorry, though. You helped Kelly. You were there. I had no right to treat you that way." She said with sincerity. Given permission by the contact Tracey initiated, Chris squeezed her upper arm and smiled back at her.

"It's ok. You had your reasons." Tracey gave him a curious look but was interrupted by the door opening beside them and two doctors and a nurse leaving Kelly's room. Tracey looked alarmed and moved into the room quickly, dropping the coffee cup on a table as she went to Kelly. The blonde was sitting up in bed again but out from under the covers, her legs tucked underneath her. Tracey tried to clock how thin she looked as she sat by Kelly, opening her mouth to ask questions.

"What's the matter? Are you ok? What did they say?" It came out it a tumble of concern and Tracey bit her lip as Kelly let a hint of a smile play upon her lips. She tucked her legs further beneath her and shook her head slightly.

"Everything's ok, Tracey. Do you want me to explain?" The brunette simply nodded, concentrating fiercely and bracing herself for whatever Kelly seemed so casual about. Cancer, Heart disease, degenerative disorders all flung themselves through her mind but she kicked them away to clear space for new information.

"I've got something they call Addison's Disease." Kelly paused, gauging Tracey's reaction. Her partner looked ready to say something, her eyes anxious, but Kelly reached for her hand and took it in her own. Unlike before, Tracey did not pull away. "It's a hormonal disorder. They say I've got Secondary Adrenal Deficiency." She stopped again and smiled supportively. "That's more common. Don't worry." Tracey managed a small smile back but her heart was racing.

"There's a hormone… with some long, complicated name that I will never remember," Kelly rolled her eyes and smiled again. "that they called ACTH. It regulates cortisol production. That's another hormone that basically balances all my body's functions. Well, my body isn't producing enough of this ACTH and therefore, not enough cortisol. That's what's been making me sick." She watched Tracey, squeezing her hand. Her partner nodded, a little confused.

"Ok. So why isn't there enough ACTH?" Tracey turned extremely serious. "What's wrong?" Kelly laughed, smiling merrily.

"Calm down, Tracey! Let me finish. This is the not so common part. Apparently, I've got an infection around my pituitary gland, where ACTH comes from, and so it stopped making it. They don't know how it got there. One of the doctors mentioned stress.." Kelly rolled her eyes again and Tracey grinned.

"No!" Tracey said with mock horror. Kelly sighed, still smiling.

"Yeah, not possible an ADA could suffer from stress, of course. Anyway, because of that, I now have a brand new mention for my medical file at work!" Tracey smiled, tongue in cheek, at Kelly's attitude. She leaned forward a little and brushed a stray curl out of her eyes, turning serious once more.

"So… Be serious. What else is there?" Kelly nodded and thought for a moment, smoothing the tape around her drip.

"Well, the Addison's was making me tired and weak. And dizzy; my blood pressure was crap when I came in, apparently. Also why I was nauseous." She paused, looking straight into Tracey's eyes. "It was also why I was so irritable and depressed. Turned me into an angry bitch, didn't it?" Her eyes dropped and she played with her drip again. Tracey's hand stilled hers and she looked back to her partner. Tracey's eyes were deep and dark, filled with emotion Kelly didn't want to guess at.

"So… that wasn't you?" Tracey asked softly, hoping beyond hope for the right answer. A light began to wink at her from the end of the tunnel.

"No! No, it wasn't. It was my brain screwing with me." Kelly's hands closed around Tracey's and she looked at her urgently and sincerely. Tracey caught a sparkle at the edge of Kelly's blue eyes, unshed tears just anchored to her eyelashes. "I would never hurt you like that intentionally, Tracey. I would never cheat on you. I didn't want to hurt you." She looked down again. "I did though." There was a moment of silence before Kelly felt Tracey's hand touch her jaw and raise her chin up until they were looking each other in the eye. One tear slid down Kelly's pale cheek and Tracey lifted a slender finger to brush it away.

"Do you love me, Kelly?" Tracey's low voice rung through the empty room and her eyes begged for the right answer. Begged for this to be the one and only barrier between her and the woman that she loved. The decidedly un-religious one in their relationship, Tracey had been praying an awful lot in the last week. Now more than ever. One more tear slid down Kelly's cheek before she answered.

"Always." Kelly whispered faintly but with all the truth in the world. Tracey looked into Kelly's blue eyes and found heaven, the answer to her prayers. God seemed possible at that moment. An angel had been delivered to her. Tracey's hand cupped Kelly's cheek and she leaned in until she was a breath away from those warm lips.

"Then I'll love you forever." Tracey closed the gap between them and praised the mouth that had torn her apart and stitched her back together. She ran her hand through Kelly's golden hair and felt her partner's tongue skim her lips. Tracey squeezed the hand she held, grateful for the life she felt next to her, beneath her, inside her. Kelly pulled away slowly and rested her forehead against Tracey's. She smiled like a child, the most pure happiness glowing through her pale skin. Tracey kissed her carefully again before standing up, kicking her shoes off and climbing onto the bed next to Kelly. She wrapped her arms around the frail blonde, warm with life and love and blood.

"Now, what are they to do with you, baby?" Tracey asked, kissing Kelly's blonde head. She felt her partner move closer, their bodies fitting perfectly against each other. As Kelly spoke, she could hear Tracey's heart beating.

"They've told me I have to take tablets once a day for the next year, at least. Hydrocortisone. As well as some pills to fight the infection." She tugged lightly on the line into her arm. "This is a saline and dextrose drip. Salt and sugar. Yum." Tracey laughed. "It's meant to fix me up for now." Tracey sighed beneath her and Kelly looked up. "What?" Tracey grinned.

"So, no more mood swings?" Kelly bit her lip and smiled back.

"No more mood swings." Tracey sighed again dramatically and pulled Kelly even closer.

"Thank Christ for that." Tracey felt Kelly smile into her chest. She shifted slightly, hoping to keep Kelly comfortable.

"There is one thing, though…" Kelly trailed off, sliding her hand across Tracey's tummy. The brunette bit back a groan. Make up sex in a hospital bed, Kibre. Not a good idea when two of your detectives are waiting outside the door.

"What, honey?" Kelly exhaled slowly, thinking.

"They said I'd have to carry a card with Addison's Sufferer written on it with my blood type and deficiency number." Kelly paused. "It's so impersonal. Not a name or photo or birthday." They lay there for a moment, both thinking different things. Tracey suddenly leaned down to kiss Kelly's forehead before sliding to the side and dropping out of the hospital bed. Kelly sat up, looking confused. Tracey winked as she slid her shoes on and grabbed her coat.

"I'll be back." Kelly frowned. "Don't worry; you've got visitors to entertain you." As she opened the door, she beckoned Hector and Chris. "Come in, guys." Another secret wink at Kelly and Tracey was gone.

"Hey, my pretzels!" Kelly laughed, grabbing the bowl from Chris. He put up his hands in mock defeat, relinquishing the bowl. Kelly crunched several of the salty snacks triumphantly and poked her tongue out. "I'm the sick one! I'm I allowed /I to eat all this junk." Hector laughed at Kelly's childish display as he looked through the cards attached to each bunch of flowers he passed.

"You sure are popular, Kelly. Look at the ones Branch sent you! And all in under 24 hours." He stopped next to a huge arrangement of pink roses and white lilies. He looked them over critically. "Lilies? He's a little oblivious, isn't he?" Kelly continued to munch her pretzels.

"I though it was sweet." She said, her eyes flitting to the door where a small brunette in a red coat stood smiling brightly. Kelly deposited the bowl on her bedside table and grinned. "Hey stranger." Tracey blushed, entering the room.

"I had to get something." Tracey turned to the guys who stood in silence at the end of Kelly's bed. "Hey, I told that nurse outside that you two would meet her in he cafeteria for a coffee with her friend about…" she checked her watch, "Two minutes ago." Hector looked at Chris and waggled his eyebrows.

"We'll just be downstairs." Both women grinned as the detectives left the room in rather a hurry. Tracey turned back to Kelly, pulling a small box from her coat pocket and placing it on the bed before removing the red garment and draping it over the chair. Kelly eyed the box with some curiosity before Tracey placed it in her hands.

"Open it." Kelly gave Tracey a sly look and pulled off the top of the silver box and removed the gauze wrap. Kelly's eyes went wide as she picked up the thin silver chain that lay coiled in the box and studied the silver name plate attached. Next to the caduceus, the staff with snakes wound around that denotes medical association, was etched writing that made Kelly's heart swell.

Kelly Gaffney

July 7 1968

Addison's

"Tracey, it's beautiful." Kelly whispered turning it over in her hands. On the other side of the plate, in smaller, finer writing was inscribed "Always & Forever" Kelly looked up at Tracey, tears in her eyes. Tracey reached over and pushed a strand of hair behind Kelly's ear, a habit that she had formed early in their relationship and had lasted through everything. "Always?" Kelly asked. Tracey smiled and bent to kiss Kelly's forehead.

"And forever."