Author's Note: My computer crashed on me! It was a good thing I had a back up disk of the last few chapters. Well, anyway, here it is.

Chapter Twenty

A New Life

It looked just the same as yesterday and the day before, the blue of the ocean still as blue and the occasional specks of green still decorated the same places.

But the earth was not the same.

In a span of a day, the world that had lost a hero rejoiced in her return and, like her example, the people tried their best to start anew and leave the pain of the past behind.

And J'onn felt all of it, the overwhelming thoughts of willingness to go on with their lives with renewed spirit and was thankful that the rest of the league shared the same sentiments, as he watched the earth revolve in perfect timing.

But the smile in his green countenance disappeared when his thoughts drifted to one.

As his orange eyes stared out in the view of the vast space before him, the all-encompassing darkness, he could not ignore the distinct feeling he was sensing from his friend.

Instead of feeling bliss at the return of his cherished one, he felt the overwhelming pain when their eyes met because her eyes were vacant except for a hint of a friendly stare.

Yes, J'onn felt all of his sadness, as his friend stood alone in the night, guarding his city once again, all the while battling the emotions from within, the feeling of despair, of profound loneliness.

Of having something precious only to lose it in a heartbeat.

J'onn almost wanted to reach out to Bruce and tell him that everything would be all right soon. But how could he reassure someone when he, himself, was in doubt whether it was the right thing to do.

And because of this confusion, he decided to seek the help, the advice of a friend who believed more in the sanctity of truth.

"J'onn…" Superman's curt voice interrupted his forlorn thoughts.

He eyed his friend for a while, sensing nothing but positive emotions. "Thank you for coming." He was indeed grateful with the other's presence for it provided some hint of assurance.

They walked closer to the edge where the floor met the glass that separated them from outside. "So…what do we need to discuss?"

"I want to talk to you about Diana."

Superman stood beside him, placing a hand on the steel railing with a concerned expression that was bordering on worry. "What about her?"

"Haven't you noticed anything…different?"

"Is she all right?"

J'onn could sense the alarm in his friend. "She is, physically." He tried to appease his friend's sudden concern. "What can you notice about her…emotions?"

Superman considered for a while, thinking of his friend. "She seems…happy."

"Too happy."

At the suggestion, Superman suddenly noticed that indeed it was a bit strange that after a day there was not even the slightest mention of what happened the last time they saw each other. He could even recall a strange expression pass over her face when he tried to apologize for the hurtful words he said.

As if she did not have a clue what in the world he was referring to.

"Too happy that it seems…"

"There's something wrong." J'onn finished the sentence.

A strange moment of silence passed as one wondered and the other considered. Then J'onn finally spoke while looking through the glass. "Superman…this is probably the opportune time to talk to you about everything that happened." J'onn took the time to pause before beginning his enlightenment. "She was right."

"Right?" Superman face frowned in confusion. "About what?"

"When she told me about her plans that night in Atlantis, I did not put in much of an argument because I knew, just as she did, that she was right, that it had to be done. She had to summon the Phoenix before your clone remembered its significance deep in the recesses of his memories, which were taken from you." The Martian recalled the previous events. "In her absence, I must assume her identity. And before she left for Heliopolis that dawn, she allowed me inside her mind to read her every thought in order that I can assume her personality as convincingly as I can as part of the plan of deceiving the enemy."

J'onn remembered all the thoughts she shared as if they were his own. "Superman…she opened all of her self to me. There was not a single fiber of feeling or thought that was concealed and I became aware of her every happiness, all her frustrations, all her despair. Looking at her face then, I never thought that underneath her smile, her confidence, was a person who was conflicted, unsure of the emotions that were denied for so long." J'onn turned to his friend. "And it made me admire her even more."

As Superman stared at the alien eyes before him, he could not prevent guilt from seeping through, from his veins to his heart, making him turn away again to look at the endless space.

"Just before she left for her fateful journey, she made me promise about something I must do." J'onn smiled ruefully at the memory of how she almost forced him to make the promise, the pact. "In the remote chance that the gods would grant the request that either Bruce or you would be foolish enough to make for her life to be returned, she knew they would take something in return. And she made me swear to return it when she comes back."

Superman abruptly faced him. "She knew we would come for her?"

"Yes…" he answered. "She had such faith. That gave her strength to continue with her plan."

"What did they take from her?"

"The memory of her love for…him," he answered truthfully.

Superman stilled and closed his eyes at the realization. He always thought the only reason why she had not opened up yet about the past to him was that it was still all too painful to remember, to confess.

But, all the while, the truth was…there was no pain to remember.

"Have you told her?" It was a mere whisper as his eyes opened up to the Martian again.

"I must admit that I am conflicted at what to do," J'onn confessed. "I can sense nothing of the sadness and longing that she had kept in her heart for so long, no trace of the pain she felt the last few days…before her sacrifice. It should be better for her…to let her live this way, without the despair."

Of all the people, he understood J'onn the most. Because somewhere in his heart, there was nothing he wanted more for her to be free of the pain, to be happy.

Who would not want that for her?

And though he wanted to deny it, there was a small, selfish part that thought of the idea that this was the chance he had for her to finally see him for what he was, other than the friend who was always by her side, always waiting.

But then again, it was such a small part of him.

The larger part of his heart believed in the truth that his love would always remain unselfish, not expecting anything in return.

And it would always be this kind of love, a love that believed in the truth.

"I understand what you feel, J'onn. But now that I know, when I look into her eyes again, I will see that something is missing. She is not the Diana we know without all those feelings, all those emotions." He came to a decision. "However gallant and innocent, or not so innocent, our reasons are, we have no right to deny her the memories, because they are her memories."

J'onn smiled. It was the answer he expected from a great man such as his friend.

For a moment, the Martian had to admit he was troubled at how this will affect him. But now, seeing his friend before him, feeling the confidence, the conviction, the contentment of eternal friendship, J'onn was assured that everything would be all right.

"Yes…I will tell her."

Superman tapped him on the shoulder as if to wish him good luck. "So…when will you tell her?"

"She asked me to tell her again in two days. That will be tomorrow."

"Two days?" There was finally a trace of an amused inquiry on Superman's face.

J'onn smiled back at a happy reverie. "Many years ago…she had been very happy for two days. The first day was with you and your family, when she felt how it was to feel the love of father and a mother and a best friend. The second day was with Bruce, when she felt the love of a man. Maybe…she wanted to be happy for another two days before…all her memories wound her again."

It was not hard to miss the small flinch Superman tried to conceal when he mentioned the love she had for Bruce. And J'onn felt it was time to tell him. "She loved you both, but in different ways," J'onn tried to explain. "When she gave up her life that day, she was not trying to save the whole world, just her friends, her family and the both of you."

"I know, J'onn," Superman smiled ruefully. "It's a long process to let go. But I will…someday."

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After a while, J'onn left and Superman was alone by himself to just reflect on all the things that had transpired. He did not know exactly how long he was standing where J'onn left him until someone approached.

"A penny for your thoughts…"

He immediately turned to his left with a surprised grin as her eyes held a very warm and friendly stare. And just as J'onn mentioned, the blue hue of her enchanting eyes reflected none of the pain that was always hidden beyond the blue depths, but that was always visible in the eyes of a friend, his eyes.

"I was just thinking of…"

"Me?" An amused face, with lips curved slightly upward in one side in her own version of a smirk with a raised brow, looked at him.

His own lips broke into a wide grin. "Yes…among other things," he was quick to add the last statement.

They both shared a smile, an expression that only the very best of friends could have for one another, for a few, precious seconds. The comfortable silence eased into several moments more, the very first time they had in what seemed like an eternity for two very close souls, after a very profound and life changing experience. And when the happiness had subsided, the smiles disappearing to be replaced by seriousness as they still looked into each others' eyes, he was left staring once again into the blue orbs and the instant he stared a second more than he should have, he felt a sudden flinch of shame.

It certainly was a lot easier saying what he had said to J'onn…without having her this close.

Because he wanted to change his mind.

After all that he confessed, after he was sure of what he just admitted to his friend…there was this one heartbeat that called her name…that would always belong to her.

And as if to test his resolve further, she moved close that their shoulders were touching. And then he felt the soft side of her face leaning on his shoulder.

And her hand found his between them.

He closed his eyes shut and tried to forget about the other emotions that made him feel guilty at the very moment. And for just this time, he just allowed himself this fleeting moment just to be with her, where the world was just a distant backdrop, just like in that time so very long ago, when they shared the last few moments before they devoted the rest of their lives to this never ending fight.

And everything seemed to fall into place, everything felt so right.

He could always talk to J'onn again, to tell him that maybe it was not the right thing to do…to give her memories back, memories of the love she once had that only made her bleed, made her suffer, made her unhappy. All it would take was to inject the tiniest bit of doubt into an otherwise agreed upon resolve and he knew J'onn would consider his word.

She was happy now, he could see she was.

And then she spoke.

"Kal…" Her soft voice called his name even though her face was hidden from his sight. "Thank you for…coming back for me."

That simple statement should have filled him with happiness. But instead, it only pronounced even more the shame he was trying to dismiss.

Because her gratitude was misplaced.

True, it was in the back of his mind…to come back for her. But he gave Bruce enough time because he knew his friend would not give up on her. And he was right. "It was…Bruce's idea."

He opened his eyes when he felt her shift so that she was looking straight at him once more. "But it was you they listened to." A hand touched his cheek. "It was you."

And then he saw it in her eyes.

Hope.

The tiniest spark that made him feel that there was the probability that she could feel something more for him that she always had.

A possibility that she could return his affections…by default.

His right hand rose to tuck strands of her hair and the small gesture was effortless, in total contradiction to the battle he was fighting deep inside of him, a battle that should not have existed at all if he just adhered to the truth.

The truth that she loved someone else.

And that he had to let her go. For the third time.

A smile appeared in his face as a thought occurred. If he was not Superman, if he was any other ordinary man, his emotions, his heart, would have been shattered into tiny little pieces by now.

But he was Superman, he was Kal-El, a man who dedicated his life to justice.

And to what is right.

But that fact did not make what he was about to do any easier.

The warmth of the smile he had pasted on is handsome face reached the blue of his eyes though deep within he was concealing the cold feeling of agony that tore at him at what he was about to do, what he was about to say.

"You are most welcome."

Then he softly squeezed her hand, as he took in a deep breath, before he said the words that would change both their lives once more, all the while saying goodbye silently in his thoughts to whatever that could have been between them, in this world, a world where there was no shadow of a past love.

"J'onn wants to see you tomorrow."

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He was just getting ready for another morning meeting at the office, fixing the cufflinks on his right sleeve, when Alfred rapped on the door, disturbing his concentration, about a visitor. With a disapproving shake of his head, all the while wondering who this early so-called visitor could be, as the butler dismissed his inquiry and leaving him alone, he went downstairs after a few minutes, walking briskly to the living room while resuming the mundane task of fixing the cuffs on his sleeve.

He stopped and felt an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu as his feet halted from stepping further, just by the doorway to the living room.

It was very like the image he once saw in his mind that was now part of his memory, as he looked at her profile, the wonderfully blue eyes, the perfect nose and the full red lips. Her hair was secured at the back of her head. But she was wearing a white t-shirt and a faded pair of jeans not the white dress he recalled in his thoughts from the stolen memories of years before.

And he had to remember and remind himself that she was not the same person.

This time around, she was the one who had no memory of those short two days.

And all the other days they shared in love.

And in his mind was the question of what she was doing in his house. And deeper in his thoughts were possibilities that he did not want to entertain, but could not prevent from doing so.

"Diana."

She turned abruptly as if surprised by his presence. "Oh, hello Bruce."

He was so foolish to think for a second that she would remember. Her eyes were still the same as he studied her face.

She suddenly wondered if her own presence was an intrusion. "Am I…interrupting you?"

"I am…expected somewhere in an hour." He lied to keep whatever it was that brought her here brief, with a voice that was flat and uninterested. But his heart was hammering inside his chest.

"Then I'll make it quick." She smiled politely, nonetheless. "I just wanted to return this." Her right hand extended and on her palm rested the cellular phone he gave her for Christmas. "Alfred insisted that I give it to you personally."

It felt as if the room was suddenly closing in on him, that it was getting more difficult to breathe as his heart beat erratically while his mind questioned. Then his eyes tried searching hers once more, as if trying to sense something in them that his mind might have missed. But his judgment was impaired by his own prejudice of the feelings that he was trying to deny in order not to be hurt again.

"How did you know this is mine?"

She tried to conceal her amusement. "There is a…small insignia on the back that is very easy to miss with average eyesight."

It felt like the walls collapsed around him. He felt the heavy weight of disappointment. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she answered. Remembering he had to be somewhere, she made her farewell. "Well…I should be going."

For a few seconds she waited and when all he did was nod, she turned and left the quiet living room.

Immediately his hands went to his head as if silently admonishing himself because he just let her walk away before he slumped on the nearest chair. He closed his eyes at the onslaught of pain and massaged his temples in a vain attempt to ease some of the ache.

"Bruce, what's wrong?"

His eyes flew open and his heart jumped at the sound of her voice though his demeanor revealed nothing of the emotions that were creating havoc within him.

"Headache."

She squatted in front and concern was evident on her face, though he was quick to tell himself that it was a natural reaction for a friend, a teammate. "I had the same headache yesterday, I felt like my head is going to be split in two. Should I call Alfred?"

Fall down on your knees, embrace her and tell her everything, his mind screamed. But he remained unmoving, disobeying the orders of his heart and mind. "No, it will pass."

"Are you sure?" It was her turn to search his face.

It will never pass, like your love for her. "Yes."

"Okay." She slowly stood up. "Goodbye Bruce."

His eyes followed the tread of her feet, staring blankly at the soles of her sneakers as she approached the doorway.

"Diana…" He could not prevent his lips from uttering.

"Yes?"

If his mind was not preoccupied with doubt, he would have seen the faintest spark in her eyes.

"It's nice to see you again," he said instead of telling her the truth.

She sighed. "It's nice to be back."

Once more she smiled, before turning away to leave.

And he was left staring at the space she vacated by the doorway with the hope that she would come back like before.

But she did not.

Staring at nothing in particular, his mind drifted and he found himself missing all the small things, how she tucked her hair behind her ear when they stray to the side of her face, how she unconsciously bit her lower lip when she was met with indecision, how her cheeks would show a pinkish tint whenever he stared too hard, how the blue of her eyes changed a shade darker when she was filled with passion.

Now, her eyes were devoid of the love, the passion that was once meant for him.

Was this how you felt all those years?

Years…she hid the pain of the remembrance of the love she once shared with him, the love he could not remember and now it was his turn to be burdened with the pain. And he wondered just how much she cringed inwardly every time that he looked at her indifferently, how he sometimes addressed her impersonally…because a simple, loveless stare was tearing him apart.

How can several days of this pain compare to the years she suffered in longing, the feeling of incompleteness?

And he was cruel enough to make her whole for more than two days only to rip her to shreds afterwards, making her feel lesser than she was before.

Now, this was his punishment.

But he could always tell her the truth, albeit very hard, with the hope that she would not react the way he did before with the feeling of anger and betrayal. No…Diana was not like that. She did not give in to anger easily like he did.

But, then again, why would he tell her? To appease his misery, to end this torment, his torment and bring about hers? It was very selfish to think that he wanted to tell her because he only wanted to release himself from the agony because that was one reason. The other…because he still…

He shook his head and closed his eyes to dim the vision, her apparition in the room. She was free of the pain he brought her. He should let her be.

Let time do the healing.

If there would ever be time to heal for him as a drop of emotion trickled in its sad path from his eye to his face.

For now…it had to be goodbye.

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As the knob settled with a faint sound into place, as the door fitted to a perfect close in the frame, she stared at it longingly one last time as her right hand traced the surface of the hard wood.

Yesterday it would be just a wood, a door for her. And as she looked around, as her gaze took in everything before her, this would just be a lonely doorstep, a simple patio.

But that was yesterday, before J'onn opened her mind to another world that she never knew existed, before everything fell into place.

This simple patio was the very same spot he told her he loved her for the very first time.

She closed her eyes at the remembrance, as if it was just yesterday, how the light of the moon and the nearby post illuminated his happy face as he waved goodbye. And she felt the grief, instead of happiness, welling up deep inside of her as she thought.

He didn't even hold me back.

He didn't even fight for me.

He just let me go.

But deep inside, she was also asking herself why she was also letting him go. Because as she walked farther away, that was what she was doing.

She was reminded very well that he came to Themyscira for her, that he braved the wrath of Hera with Kal for her life. The least she could have done was to say thank you.

She wanted to. She had been thinking of it all night, after J'onn gave her memories back, to be by his side, to hold him and be able to tell him that she was blessed to have this chance to tell him that she loved him still.

But when she met his eyes today, the indifferent and cold stare, she became afraid. Because the way he looked at her were all too familiar.

All the memories were still too raw and too painful to be relived again.

Maybe time would heal the both of them. And she had a lot of time left on her hands.

But would time be able to heal him?

She sighed as a single tear escaped by itself to trail on her flushed face.

Knowing Bruce was knowing the answer. And it was an answer that was very hard to accept.

Taking the first and hardest few steps away from the door, she closed her eyes, holding her arms to herself and inhaled the fresh scent of the garden before opening her eyes and turning to look once more at the image of the large house, where she once found a love, where she once found another home, only to lose them all again.

"Goodbye, Bruce," she whispered to no one but the lonely garden, the closed door of his heart and the sad image of the patio where one young man once stood and smiled, whispering memorable words before waving goodbye.

It was the image from the two days when her life in this world began.

And it would be the same memory as she started her life anew.

And in her heart, he would always smile, he would always love her.

That would have to be enough, as she turned away.

To close the book of that chapter in her life.