Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Dark memories lost long ago

The boy-who-lived took a deep breath and sank into the pensieve. Suddenly, he found himself in the Forbidden forest. Although it was dark he could recognize Remus Lupin standing behind a large tree. Harry came closer and saw the two things Remus was looking at. A woman with red hair was arguing about something with a tall man that was dressed like a Death Eater. They held each other's hands. The woman was his mother, but Harry didn't know who the man was.

''You don't have to go, you can stay here with me.'' Lily was looking at the man sadly holding his hand.

''Lily, you of all people should know that I have to join them. I realize why you don't want to come, but try to understand me.'' Said the man.

Harry recognized this voice. It was the voice of... Severus Snape. Harry felt something strange in his stomach. When he realized that his mother was holding hands with Snape, he felt sick. Harry turned to Remus who had a mad look on his face. Remus clenched his teeth, but didn't move.

''But what do you see in him? He will only cause us pain.'' Lily begged.

''No, he will give us power. Power we can only dream about. We have to wipe our world from...'' Severus stopped.

''From my kind?'' Lily asked with tears in her eyes.

''You know I didn't mean that... I love you, and once I'm inside I won't let anything happen to you. You have to trust me.'' Severus said putting his hand on her shoulder.

''I don't believe he is 'the greatest wizard that ever lived' et cetera, but I trust that you won't betray me. It's just, can't you find some other way to...'' Lily was trying to convince Severus to stay looking at him sadly with her green eyes.

''Believe me, there is no other way. I have to join Death Eaters. The wizard world is rushing towards destruction, and there are only two options left; to join the Dark Lord, or to die. When I settle down, I will come looking for you. Everything is going to be just fine.'' Severus petted Lily's hair and kissed her forehead trying to calm her down although he was as upset as she was. He was simply a better liar.

Lily knew that he worshiped Voldemort and believed in his promises. He was blind and she couldn't do anything to make him see that he's wrong about Voldemort. She knew that there is only one more thing that she can use to try to make him to stay.

''I think that you should know something before you decide to go. Severus, I'm pregnant.'' Lily uttered.

''Lily, we've been trough this already, nothing can change my mind right now. Besides, I know you're just saying this to make me stay.'' Severus said tiredly.

''But...'' the woman gripped his hand.

''Are you completely sure in what you're saying?'' Severus asked.

''No, but I think...''

''See? Please, Lily, don't cry. I will come back for you, you know that.'' Severus kissed her and let go of her hand.

''Severus...'' the woman cried helplessly.

''Lily, I love you. Goodbye.'' Severus muttered and disappeared in the dark forest leaving Harry's mother to cry in the cold.

Lily slowly headed back to school without knowing that someone is carefully watching everything. She was passing by the tree when someone grabbed her hand causing her to scream histerically. When she saw who was holding her hand, she felt like her heart stopped beating. Looking at Remus scared, she whispered

''Remus...what...'' she could barely hear herself.

''So that's the reason why you don't want to have anything with James! Because you're going out with Snape? You know, I would never expect something like that. Not from you.'' Remus looked disappointed.

He let go of her hand almost with disgust. Lily was crying even harder when she saw Remus' look. He was the only boy in her school to whom she believed completely besides Severus. They always helped each other, and only he could help her when James annoyed her. They were practically best friends. Remus was rational and kind, unlike Sirius and James. He was the Head boy of Gryffindor and they often studied together late at night. She felt terrible. She just stayed silent, feeling embarrassed and guilty. It would be much easier if someone else found out about her and Severus, but Remus... His opinion was just too important.

''I didn't...'' Lily was trying to explain but she couldn't find the right words. Everything sounded so stupid said out loud.

''You know what the worst part is? Sirius is right now helping James to write you a love letter. He's going to ask you to come with him to Hogsmeade this weekend. James told me that if you reject him one more time that he would... You know, I don't even want to think about it. He's madly in love with you, couldn't you give him just one chance? And for the love of God, Severus Snape! I'm afraid what James might do to himself if he finds out about this...'' Remus sighed and covered his mouth.

Lily couldn't look him in the eyes. For the first time she felt sorry about James Potter. Severus had joined the Death Eaters, and now Remus found out about her relationship with a potential Death Eater. She never felt so alone and helpless.

Harry was watching everything with tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe that his mother would do something like that. It was too hard to believe. He felt just like his mother right now, helpless and lost. His whole world collapsed as he found out who his real father was. Harry felt someone's hand on his shoulder.

He was back in Dumbledore's office. In front of him was standing Severus Snape, his supposed father. He felt hatred overwhelming him again as he looked at Severus' face

''I HATE YOU!'' he shouted and ran out of the office.


I would appreciate if all of you who read the story leave a review. I want to know what people think about this.

Opal: You will know soon enough.

I also want to thank my beta-reader Setsuri and everyone who reviewed my story so far, especially barbarataku, Dragonero, juliedecarson, Sirius-Black-SFan, Angela Lillith Potter, Devy Black, Opal.

This chapter is dedicated to them. Hope you all like it! Thanks.

Lily