Her Sweetness: Woo-hoo! It's nighttime! And nighttime is the right time to party! We'll drink… and we'll sing! Aha, I'm high on life! High, I tell you!


—Hot Man, Hot Dog—

Part Four: I Know Who I Want To Take Me Home

Le Merde was quite generous to its customers at the table in the center of the room. Whatever they ordered was brought out, post haste. Of course, there had been a good amount of whispers amongst the other customers but that was put to a halt when Joey glared at them. They quickly shut up and one person even went as far as running out of the restaurant, hauling his family out along with him. His youngest child had shouted, while being thrown into the car, "But Daddy, I wanna see the crazy hotdog man…!"

"No, Billy," He responded, "Hotdogs are dangerous."

But, as hard for Tristan as it was, being seated at the same table and actually having to listen to someone hold a conversation with a meat byproduct, he made it through the meal, virtually unscathed.

You could almost feel the happiness in the restaurant when those three left in James' beat up car. Though Tristan was a bit upset at seeing the bill that he was forced to pay for.

Well, after they had come out of the fancy, French building and were in the car going down the street, Joey took this opportunity to look back in the rearview mirror at Tristan who was sulking in the backseat.

"'Ey, why the long face, Tristan?"

"… Why do you think I have a long face? I'm riding in the back! Why the hell am I riding in the back?" He shouted, sitting up and frowning at the passenger's seat which was where Hot Dog was buckled up in, "I should be driving, Joey! Do you know where I'd drive to? The funny-farm! Because that is where you belong if you seriously believe a wrinkled, old hotdog is alive!"

Joey looked more than a little perturbed, "I'm tired of you sayin' stuff like that, Tristan! Hot Dog has feelings!"

"'Hot Dog' is a piece of meat! Throw it out!"

"Stop sayin' that or I'll throw you out of the car!"

"This isn't even your car!" Tristan took in a deep breath and stopped all his shouted for he knew he wasn't getting anywhere. Sometimes Joey could be just like a child and with any kid, to get want you wanted, you had to promise them something greater. He smiled at Joey through the mirror, "Hey, Joey, know what? I happen to know these triplets that live on the South Side and when I told them about you, they seemed very interested. You think maybe you'd be interested in going on a blind date with them? They're really hot!"

Joey shook his head, grinning at the shriveled up wiener next to him, "No, thanks. Hot Dog's the only one I'm interested in."

"GRR!"

Before Tristan had a chance to strangle his best friend, the car stopped and the happy blonde shouted, "We're here!"

Tristan looked out of the window, almost afraid of what he would see when glancing out. And to his confusion and dismay, they had parked right in front of the West Side's movie theater. He blinked and looked into the front seat where no one was and, looking back out of the window, he saw Joey outside on the sidewalk and holding the hotdog in his right hand.

He groaned and got out of the car, walking onto the sidewalk in front of the theater and looking at his friend, "Why are we here?"

"We're going to see a movie, grumpy." Joey said, noting Tristan's attitude.

"I'm grumpy because I've traveling around the West Side with a hotdog and a lunatic."

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and they (Joey and Hot Dog) walked forward, up to the ticket box. Joey called back casually, "Comin'?"

"… oh for Pete's sake…" He grumbled, following them.

The line was relatively short because it was only a little after two o' clock. When they got up to the ticket box, there was a young man whose face was beyond Clearasil and snorted as he greeted them, "Hello and welcome to West Side Cinema. Can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi. I'll take 3 adult tickets for Tales of a Fat Woman and a Raped Pigeon."

"Sure thing." He snorted in laughter as he shuffled around for the tickets, "You know, my aunts saw that movie the other day. They said they cried so much it drowned out their hot flashes, heh heh. Here ya go." He finally pulled out the three tickets from the slot and then looked around confusedly, "… Um… but there's only two of you."

Tristan groaned.

Joey rolled his eyes and held up Hot Dog to the window.

The teen behind the window adjusted his glasses and then smiled, "No thanks, I already had lunch."

"I'm not offering Hot Dog to you! This is our third person!"

"… Oh…"

There was an extremely thick moment of silence that followed.

He blinked and kind of shrugged before handing over the tickets and mumbling a small and timid, "Enjoy the movie…" As Joey and Hot Dog entered, talking amongst themselves, Tristan lingered behind and whispered to the still half-stupefied teen behind the window.

"Hey… This is for you." He said shadily and slipped and twenty dollar bill throw the slot on the bottom of the window. The boy looked at it funny before picking it up.

"What's this for?"

"It's hush money! Don't you dare tell anyone what you just witnessed. If this gets around, we'll be the laughingstock of Domino! So don't tell anyone, got it?"

"Uh, sure thing." He nodded and put the money in his back pocket.

Tristan gave a curt nod before leaving the front and following where he had last seen his demented friend and his date enter. He looked around in the lobby before finding the specific theater that Tales of a Fat Woman and a Raped Pigeon was playing in. It was incredibly dark in the theater even though it was only the previews that were playing. But even so he squinted and, towards the front, was able to spot and recognize his friend by his hair.

He walked down the aisles and down to where Joey was seated. Just about to take a seat next to the teen, he was stopped and Joey said, "Hey! Wait a minute, Hot Dog's sitting here."

"…" Tristan blinked and looked around, "… Speaking of which, where is the little snickerdoodle?"

"Oh, Hot Dog went to get popcorn."

"… You sent the hotdog to get popcorn?" He looked around for a second before sweat dropping at the sight of the hotdog on the floor, about a foot away from Joey's seat, surrounded by the droppings of others. He bent down and picked it up, beginning to walk away, "I'll be back, I'm gonna throw something away."

"Oh, okay… Hey! Tristan!" He shouted and tackled his friend, wrestling away piece of meat. Joey huffed and sat back in his seat, putting Hot Dog in it's seat, "Really, Tristan, you're so jealous…"

"I'M NOT JEALOUS!"

"SHHH!"

Everyone in the theater silence him and a few people shouted, "Down in front!" He blinked and looked at the screen. Apparently the movie had started and he was expected to shut up and sit down. Which is what he did though he was a bit annoyed at the fact that he was denied the best seat in the house because a hotdog had caught his best friend's eye.

The movie ended two hours later and as Joey, Hot Dog and Tristan (along with everyone else who had been in the theater) left the cinema, Tristan could've sworn he heard whispers among the other people. Things like, "Did you see that guy who was giving a hotdog a seat?"

And replies like, "Yeah. But did you see that guy who he was with? He must be a real nut to hang out with a guy like that."

Tristan groaned and turned to his friend who was talking to Hot Dog, "Joey! Man, enough is enough! C'mon and throw that hotdog away!"

"What is with you, Tristan?" He shook his head and turned to Hot Dog, "He's not normally like this, I swear."

"…"

"Yeah but it sucks."

"…"

"Heh heh, you, too? Awesome. But no, you don't have to."

"…"

Joey turned back to his utterly mortified buddy, "Hear that, Tristan? Even though you're a jerk, Hot Dog's still says it's okay. Now do you see what a nice person Hot Dog is?"

"………………… You have problems."

But Joey didn't hear this comment as he and his companion were already buckled into the car. Joey rolled down the window and called out to Tristan, "You coming?"

"… Yeah…" He sighed and got in the backseat again as Joey drove off, him and Hot Dog in their own little world. Tristan was even forced to listen to polka music because Joey said that it was Hot Dog's favorite type.

It was about six o' clock when they arrived back in front of The Test Tickle. The sun was setting just over the tall buildings to the north and streams of purple and orange were cascading across the sky. Even though it was two hours until The Test Tickle opened, there was still a bit of a line, seeing as how it was the most popular club in town.

To the boys' surprise, James was leaning on the brick wall outside the place. He smirked when he saw them and walked over, catching the keys as Joey threw them to him.

"Good, you're back. I was beginning to wonder if letting you borrow the car was a bad idea."

"Sorry, the movie ran a little long." Joey apologized, still holding onto his meat.

James nodded, looking at the teen funny. As Joey and Hot Dog went off on some conversation concerning the club and the line outside, James walked over to Tristan who was leaning on his motorbike, seemingly distraught.

"Hey… um, maybe this is none of my business, but why is that guy still holding onto that hotdog?"

"I have no idea! I can't even fathom why he's doing this to me! Do you know that all day, wherever we went, we were starred at by everyone because he was talking to that hotdog! Ugh! Like he's doing right now!"

"Heh heh. Well, you did kinda bring this on yourself…"

"W-What do you mean?"

"Well, weren't you and that pansy the ones who brought him here yesterday? You wanted him to meet someone."

"Yeah! But I mean someone as in someone of the same species!"

"… Did you tell him that before you got in?"

"…" Tristan starred at James, dumbly, "N-No…"

"Then there ya go."

"But—!"

Before Tristan could finish his sentence, Joey's voice caught his and James' attention. As it turned out, he was standing right next to them and looking at James sternly.

"Hey, James! I've got to talk to you about this 'house' you gave Hot Dog. It sucks, man, it really does. There's not even a toilet! Sorry, but I can't let Hot Dog live here, it isn't safe."

"… O… kay."

"So," He turned to the hotdog in his hand and blushed, "Um… I know this sounds kinda weird, but… I think you should consider living with me. J-Just for the time being! Like, until you get an apartment or something."

"…"

"I won't try anything, I swear."

Tristan almost choked, "W-What the hell's he talking about!"

"So what do ya say?" Joey waited for a reply.

"…"

"Awesome! I mean, that's great that you don't have to sleep here anymore. Um, just so you know, my apartment's not really nice or anything, but it has half a roof and a toilet that works 12 percent of the time."

"…"

"You'll like it, I promise."

James had slowly slipped away from this odd scene and Tristan was quietly sobbing on the seat of his motorbike.


Tristan had taken Joey back to his apartment complex. Actually, he had taken Joey and Hot Dog back to the apartment buildings, despite Tristan's constant begs for Joey to get a grip on himself. When they both hopped off, Joey was smiling brightly and it was hard for him to hide his giddiness. Tristan groaned and urged Joey to get a good night's sleep.

Afterwards, he thought he might as well go on home but he had forgotten something. Otogi was still at the Game Shop. He cringed a little, knowing that Yami and Yugi would be totally pissed at him for leaving Otogi there for so long. And sure enough, he was right. When he knocked on the door, Yami had tackled him and ordered him to take Otogi away. Otogi, who was dressed in a see-through, blue night robe was in the living room watching television while Yugi was clipping his toenails.

He did as he was told and took the teen out of the house but not before he was scolded by said teen for leaving him somewhere for so long and forgetting about him.

It was around midnight at Otogi's house when Tristan had finally gotten around to being able to talk to the boy. Otogi had a uncanny ability to manipulate conversations so that they were always talking about something he liked.

"And so then LaQuiesha was telling us that her and Tyrell had gone behind McDonalds and did it there right after Marqueita and Jerome had gotten done there! Which is like the kinkiest thing I've ever heard of. They did that last week too. Don't even ask why, 'cause I have no idea. Guess it turns 'em on, right? Oh well, it was totally gross." Otogi was currently in his bed, smoking a cigarette while he continued on, "Me and Sharonda were going like 'Ew!' but then after we thought about it, we thought it might not be so bad and I was like… Tristan, are you listening?"

"Yep." He said casually, while brushing his hair forward in the mirror on the opposite side of the bedroom.

"Then tell me what I just said."

"… Tch… Uh, something about onions."

"Aha! You weren't listening! Dammit, you always do this to me, every time I'm trying to convey a feeling or try to tell you about my day, you don't listen! That's why I go out all the time, I need attention! Rub my feet!"

"No!"

"Ugh!" He screeched and smashed the cigarette into the ashtray on the nightstand, "Just what are you thinking about that's so important?"

He sat the hairbrush down on the dresser, "Joey."

"AHH! I knew it! You're thinking about Joey again! I'm tired of you giving Joey more attention than me! Joey, Joey, Joey; that's all I ever hear from you!"

Tristan rolled his eyes, "Oh, stop being such a drama queen."

"…" He pouted.

"Joey's been driving me nuts all day. We went to Le Merde and to the movies and the whole time he was talking to a hotdog that he believes is real! People were starring at us like mad and now… now he's living with it!"

"Living with what?"

"The hotdog!"

"… Oh. Well, I don't see why you care. Joey's eighteen, he can live with what he wants."

"But he's embarrassing himself! And me!"

"Well, I don't care what he chooses to shack up with, but from now on, I want you to think about me first! Okay?"

"Yeah, sure, fine."

"Good." He smiled, "Now rub my feet, dammit!"

"NO!"


TBC…