Her Sweetness: Yeah, I'm getting started a little late tonight. I did hope to get this out when planned but a few things came up. That and the fact that I just saw an awesome movie!

It was so good, and it gave me inspiration for the next year! Ooh, I can't wait… see ya on the flipside!


—Hot Man, Hot Dog—

Part Five: Next Order of Business

A little earlier that night was when Joey was dropped off at his house by Tristan who had pleaded for the teen to tell him that this whole hotdog thing was a big prank. Joey only looked at him funny and told him to stop being immature. At hearing this, Tristan was silent for a long while, starring at Joey with an expression of pure terror. He slowly drove away on his motorbike off into the night and left Joey and Hot Dog at his apartment complex.

Luckily for the blonde and his houseguest, it was Sunday night and that meant that all the gangs were at their weekly meetings around this time, doing roll call and serving ceremonial cookies baked by the gang leader's mother. This being the case, Joey walked into his apartment without being shot at.

When he opened the door, the lights were on and he cried out, "Yes! Finally, power! Hey… I wonder if the toilet works…"

"…"

He looked down at Hot Dog whom he held in his hand. He set the meat on the counter that attached the kitchen to the living room and the rest of the apartment. "Hold on a sec, I gotta check something out. I'll be right back."

"…"

In a second, Joey zoomed out of the kitchen/bedroom/living room and into a very small room that actually had a door. It shut and the hotdog was left in the room by itself for about fifteen minutes. As the sixteenth moment approached, the sound of a giant flushing echoed throughout the room. The lights flickered throughout the entire building and the door to the bathroom opened as Joey walked out and the lights flickered again.

He gave a thumbs up sign to Hot Dog, "Hey, the toilet works!"

"…"

"This is the first time since last month, so I guess I'm really excited." Joey blushed, embarrassed that he was making such a big deal out of something so ridiculous. He walked over to the counter, sitting on the broken and unstable stool next to it, "Usually, when the bathrooms don't work, the people who live here go to the Texaco station down the street. But some of the less civilized people like to just go in the hallway and try to hide it. But I stopped doing that about six months ago."

"…"

His blush deepened, "Aw, thanks."

"…"

"Nope, I'm a real blonde." Joey leaned in and whispered, "Not like that girl Mai. She dyed her hair and got plastic surgery. She used to look just like Michael Jackson, but now she's leaning more toward that Pamela Anderson thing. But everyone's doing that nowadays."

"…"

"Well, what about you? I really love your hair, it's so red."

"…"

"Yeah, well that's what I figured."

It went back and forth like that for a long while. Maybe even an hour. It really amazed Joey how well he and Hot Dog got along and how much they had in common. On their date that they had come back from, they didn't get as much time for conversation as Joey would've liked because of the fact that Tristan was always saying strange things and preventing them from having a good time.

'That'll be the last time I ever let Tristan tag along and pay for everything. Next time, he can just give me the money and leave.' Joey thought before looking at his watch. He blinked, rubbing at his eye. "Wow, I didn't know it was this late!"

"…"

"It's 3 am."

"…"

"Yeah, I'm tired, too. Ah, so, I'll just…" He looked back at the floor in the living room right behind him. His little cot/cover/pillow/dishrag was on the bare floor, dirty and blotched with many stains. He sweat dropped, "Well, you can sleep in my bed."

"…"

"Oh, don't worry about me! I'll just sleep right here." He patted the countertop but when it was touched by the palm of his hand, it shook and then fell to the floor in pieces.

Gasping, Joey picked up Hot Dog from the floor and scratched his head, "I guess a pile of wood wouldn't be a bad place to sleep…"

"…"

"Yeah, but—"

"…"

"Um, alright, if you're sure."

"…"

And so, with the permission of the piece of meat, Joey walked the two feet to the living room and gently laid Hot Dog down on the cover and then he set himself down next to it. The lights were still on and so Joey pressed on the wall lightly. The lights went out all over the building and in the apartment next to his, someone shouted through the walls, "Hey!"

"Oh shut up!" Joey called back, "We're trying to get some sleep!"

"Grr…"

When that person did shut up, Joey snuggled under the rag and whispered, "Goodnight, Hot Dog."

"…"


The next morning came a little fast. But then, Monday mornings always come fast, don't they? Especially for Tristan, who dreaded what this new sun would bring for him and his friends. He'd barely gotten any sleep the night before. Not only was Otogi talking so much that Tristan decided to sleep at home, but when he did get back into his own bed, he couldn't stop thinking about Joey and that damned hotdog of his.

It was utterly mind-boggling how someone could actually take an interest in a piece of meat. And though a part of him still said that Joey was doing nothing but playing a prank, the more sensible part of him said that something like this couldn't be played. It was safe to say that Tristan was at wit's end and when he got up that morning, there was one thing he knew he had to do.

So, not even bothering to call Otogi like the boy demanded that he do every morning, Tristan got up, threw on some clothes and rode his bike about three streets down to the Kame Game Shop.

"Hey, Yugi! Yami!" He knocked on the door, "Open up, it's me!"

The sign on the Game Shop was turned to 'Closed', seeing as how it was still a bit early for them to open. Nevertheless, Tristan knew that the inhabitants were wide-awake. In a second, the door cracked open and one large, amethyst eye was seen looking up at Tristan. The eye whispered, "I-Is Otogi with you…?"

"Um… no. I think I remember him saying he was going to get his hair done today."

"Oh! Well then, come on in!" The door flew wide open and the eye was revealed to be Yugi who was now all smiles at the thought of Otogi being so far away from his home.

"Thanks."

Tristan walked in the shop, guided by Yugi and he led the teen upstairs and into the kitchen where Yami was sitting at the table, calmly eating his breakfast. Calmly, that is, until he saw Tristan.

He jumped up, "Oh Ra!"

"Don't worry!" Yugi raised his hands, "Otogi's getting his hair done today!"

"Oh, thank goodness…" Yami sank back into his chair and relaxed a little more.

Tristan raised his eyebrow, "Uh, hey, I'm kinda getting the feeling you two aren't too fond of Otogi."

Yugi was quick to shake his head, "No, no, that isn't it at all. It's just that… um, well, Otogi's…"

"Annoying, demanding and self-absorbed." Yami grunted.

"Um, yeah…"

Tristan had to hold back a laugh, "Well, I can't argue with you there."

"Ah, so…" Yugi said, trying to change the subject as he took a seat across from his other half and motioned for Tristan to take a seat as well. "What did you need, Tristan?"

"Oh, yeah… Well, I have a real problem and I thought that you guys where the only ones who could help. Ya see, Joey's been acting really strangely lately and I just don't know what to do anymore."

Yami tilted his head, "What do you mean? Is something wrong with Joey?"

"You could say that… Ugh, jeez, I don't know how to say it, but… Joey's… He's…"

Now both spiky-haired teens were wearing extremely concerned looks on their faces. Yugi reached across the table and put his hand on Tristan's, "C'mon, tell us. We'll do whatever we can to help."

Tristan took in a deep breath before groaning and placing his head in his hands, "He's dating a hotdog!"

"…"

"…"

Yami and Yugi looked at each other. Yugi was the first to half way chuckle and blink, "Um, heh, you know, Tristan… It sounded a lot like you were saying that Joey's dating a… um, a hotdog."

"He is!"

"…"

"…"

Yami leaned back in the chair, covering his eyes with his hand, "Oh my…"

"Tristan, are you sure he wasn't just eating a hotdog?"

"Oh, no, I'm sure! I'm sure because he dragged me all around the West Side yesterday on a date with that old piece of meat and we went to Le Merde and we went to the movies and I had to pay for everything! We borrowed this guy's car and when we returned it to him, Joey asked the hotdog to live with him! He took the damn thing home!"

After a moment of silence, Yami coughed, "Well, Joey has always been a fan of food."

Yugi turned sharply to him, "Yami, this isn't funny! If Joey's seriously trying to date a hotdog, then he needs help and that isn't a laughing matter."

"That's my point!" Tristan said, "All yesterday people were starring at him because he was talking to it."

"You mean he has conversations with it?"

"And he pretends like it's talking back, that's the bad thing! And by now people all over the West Side are probably whispering about him. God, it's so degrading! And Otogi isn't any help, he thinks I should stay out of it!"

Yugi nodded carefully, "Wow…"

"So… What do you think I should do?"

"Well, knowing Joey, this is just another one of his obsessions. He goes from thing to thing that catches his interest… Remember last month when he was giddy about sneaking into nursing homes and stealing bedpans? Well this is the same thing. I say we just wait it out."

"That's a good idea." Yami agreed, "But how long do you think it'll last?"

"I… don't know…"


Over in the center of Domino, the shopping district was totally packed as it usually was on bright mornings such as this. People walked in and out of stores and some did window-shopping while others stuck to their predetermined list. Deals were being struck and there was a lot of talking, but out of all the shops in area, there was one that held the most chattering.

LaQuiesha's Beauty Shop in the center of the district happened to be where Otogi went every week to get his hair done. If anyone asked him, he'd say that LaQuiesha did his hair the best, but if asked why he really went there, the answer would be to get all the latest gossip of Domino.

"So then what happened?" Otogi asked as his and all the other girls' eyes grew wide in anticipated of the ending to this riveting story.

Sharonda grinned, holding out her hand that adorned fifteen inch red nails and a gold-tinted ring on her right hand that almost glistened under the florescent lighting of the shop. "Then he got down on one knee and said, 'Sharonda, if you would be my wife, it'd make me the happiest man on death row.' But after I said yes, they pulled the lever."

"Awww." They all looked a bit distraught.

Otogi shrugged, "Well, at least you got to keep the ring!"

"Yeah, there's that. But, you know, I don't think it's even real." She narrowed her eyes at it, "I took it off yesterday and my finger was green."

LaQuiesha leaned Otogi back in the chair so that she could shampoo the top of his head, "If it's fake, I say throw it away."

"Don't throw it away!" Otogi waved his hand, "If you don't want it, sell it to some other guy whose trying to buy a wedding ring. If he's really gullible, you can get a lot of money for it and then you can buy yourself a real ring. And if you're smart…" He smirked, "You'll go to a bar and hit on a guy, pretend to get drunk and sleep with him, then the next morning show him your ring and cry your eyes out and he'll buy you a really expensive gift for ruining your 'marriage'."

Every girl in the room blinked for a moment before squealing and clapping. One of them shouted, "God, Otogi, that's brilliant! Where'd you think that up?"

He flashed all the rings on his hands, "Personal experience."

"Wow!"

"I am so trying that on Saturday!"

"Me, too!"

"Okay, okay," LaQuiesha quieted them down and cleared her throat, "Next order of business. Anyone see anything scandalous this weekend?"

Most of them shook their heads, "It was kinda quiet this weekend."

"Not for me." A girl in the back informed the rest, "My boyfriend works as a chef in Le Merde over in the party district. And he told me that some guy came into the restaurant and he was talking with a hotdog! Actually speaking to it! He said that guy really scarred away a lot of their business."

"Mindy, that's ridiculous." Sharonda rolled her eyes, "I know we live in Domino and everything, but even the people who live here aren't that weird."

"But it's true!"

Otogi blinked for a moment and swallowed hard. Everyone noticed his silence and looked at him, "Hey, 'Togi? You okay?"

"Yeah… um… Say, Mindy, what'd this guy look like? The one who was talking to the hotdog?"

"Oh, gee… I think Todd said that he was blonde and had big brown eyes. Sounds pretty good to me, I'd probably cheat with him if he didn't sound like such a nutcase. Why?"

He sweatdropped, shaking his head, "No reason."

LaQuiesha nodded, "Alright, next order of business! Who got some last night?"

Everyone raised their hand.


TBC…