Her Sweetness: -yawns- Aw, man. I'm so -yawns- so sorry this was late. But, you know, I'm in a bit of a slump. Not to mention, depression has, once again, reared it's ugly, yet oh-so-familiar head.


—Hot Man, Hot Dog—

Part Eight: Bend and Twist then Lift and Separate

After waiting in the lobby for what seemed like hours, filling out forms and such, Joey and Tristan were extremely tired. Though most would say they were exhausted from filling out medical forms for a piece of meat, the truth of the matter was that in between writing and checking off boxes, they had to keep an eye on Otogi who got into anyone's car who promised to buy him something. In the end, Tristan gave into the teen's demands.

Tristan walked back into the lobby, wearily, with Otogi by his side who was currently entranced in a gold necklace that he wore. He smiled up at the brunette, "See? I told you the jewelry store was just down the street. And it didn't cost that much, either."

"You call a thousand dollars 'not much'?" He suddenly shouted as the two reached the corner of the lobby where Joey was still filling out a form, "My mom's going to die when she finds out I took money from her life savings!"

Otogi waved his hand, dismissing Tristan's mother, "Oh, I highly doubt she'll die. Besides, don't I look awesome in this?"

"You could've done without it!"

"Could not."

"Ugh!"

"Hey, c'mon, guys! I just need a little quiet, this ain't as easy as it looks." Joey shushed them and turned back to the clipboard he was holding. He scratched his hair with the tip of the pen and groaned, "Hey, what do ya think is Hot Dog's blood type?"

Tristan rolled his eyes.

"Put AB positive." Otogi volunteered.

Both boys looked at him, "Why?"

"Because I can sing it! Hot Dog…! Has AB positive BLOOD! And I think it's PRETTY!"

A few people left the lobby.

"Hey, hey!" Joey shouted over the noise of Otogi holding a note on 'pretty'. He looked at Tristan who was mysteriously wearing two corks in his ears and looking rather bored. Joey frowned, holding his ears tighter as a woman in the corner of the room's glasses shattered.

"PRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Tristan, tell Otogi to stop that, I have to finish the forms!"

Tristan shrugged and mouthed the words, 'I know it's hard, but just wait!'

So, doing as he was told, Joey growled and continued to place his arms to his ears and they both waited out the high-pitched sound while a few orderlies behind the receptionist's desk cowered in fear. It wasn't more than five minutes later when Otogi suddenly stopped his assault on their ears and feel onto the floor, snoring loudly. A few scared heads popped up from behind chairs and a desk. The civilians waited to see if the battle was over.

Joey blinked, looking onto the floor and then at Tristan as the brunette picked up the sleeping teenager and threw him over his shoulder. Joey asked, "You knew he was going to fall asleep?"

"Yeah… It's weird, but when he's tired, he gets annoying."

"Oh, then he must be tired a lot."

"… Alright. Let's go." He headed for the door with Otogi still over his shoulder, muttering something about a 50 percent off sale at JCPenny.

The blonde stood up, "Wait for me outside, I just have to give these to the head nurse."

"Fine, fine."

.0.0.

About five minutes later, a blonde head came bopping out of the front door of the hospital and out into the parking lot where said blonde teen saw Tristan standing by Otogi's car with Otogi fast asleep in the backseat. When Tristan saw him coming, he opened the door, saying, "Hey, where's your hotdog?"

"They have to do an emergency meat transplant." He answered, somberly, "Dr. Kitty says it's Hot Dog's only chance."

"So they're working on the thing right now?"

"It ain't a thing! But, yeah, Hot Dog's in the operation room… It's really scary when you think about it. I mean, I've only known Hot Dog for three days, but I feel like I've known it a lot longer. Time sure does fly, y'know?"

"… No, I don't."

Joey rolled his eyes.

Tristan hopped in on the driver's side and Joey got in on the passenger's side. He started up the expensive vehicle and they pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Hot Dog in the building to undergo it's operation.


The next morning, bright rays of sunshine made their way threw the sheer, white curtains hanging on a window in the East Side. They hit the face of a boy who was currently wrapped up in white sheets and blankets in a room on the second floor of a house. Two chocolate eyes bounced open upon receiving all this sunlight and he sat up in the bed, looking around sleepily and then frantically.

"A-Ah! What the hell?" He looked down, feeling the softness of the bed sheets he was sitting in, "Oh my god, I think it's a bed!" He looked up, shocked, "Oh, freak, are those curtains?"

Unaccustomed to all these new-fangled contraptions and this new place, he jumped up out of the bed and looked around the rather large room that was now bathed in sunlight and the door, on the other side of the room, suddenly busted open and a brown, pointy head popped out from the hallway.

Tristan looked around, confused to see the blonde running around the room like a chicken with it's head cut off. He shouted, "Joey!"

"… Huh?" He stopped his sprinting and looked at him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I-I dunno! I dunno where I am!"

"Well…" He looked around, "You're in Otogi's guest room. You fell asleep in the car last night and your neighborhood looked a little unsafe, so I put you in here."

He blinked, then tilting his head and taking another quick survey of his surrounds, "Oh…"

"I was wondering when you would wake up; it's noon, you know. Ah, and… um," Tristan looked into the hallway and rubbed the back of his head, a sort of nervous or anxious reaction. "Otogi just woke up and… he's looking for you."

"What for?"

"Well, just to give you a heads up, the doctor ca—"

"OUT OF MY WAY, TRISTAN!"

Joey's eyes went wide as he witnessed Tristan being catapulted out of the doorway and soon appearing in the place where he once stood was a rather skinny, teenage body. Otogi's body, Joey was almost sure, which was dressing in a pink, lace negligee, pink bunny slippers, pink curlers which were halfway hanging out of his black hair and traces of a green substance on his face. He stood with his hands on his hips in the doorway and looked at Joey in a menacing way.

"… H-Hi."

"WELL? HAVEN'T YOU ANYTHING TO SAY?"

"… If I said what I was thinking, I have a strong feeling I'd get smacked."

Otogi lunged foreword and immediately struck said blonde in the face with his finely manicured hand.

"OW!" He held his face, inching away, "What was that for!"

"That doctor from the hospital called today! Your wiener just got out of surgery!"

He stopped his moaning from his facial wound and looked up at the other teen, a blank expression coating his face before a smile broke out and widened, "Hot Dog!"

"Yes, Hot Dog." Otogi rolled his eyes, "But Dr. Kitty called at 11:00am!"

"… So?"

"So, he interrupted me getting my Beauty Sleep! I had to wake up and answer the phone!" He violently poked his face, "Look what's happened!"

"…?"

"I'll be ugly all day long!"

Joey looked passed the raving lunatic towards his faithful buddy, Tristan, who was on the floor, having to grunt and groan just to stand (a result from the bashing Otogi had inadvertently given him). When Tristan was finally standing and seemed to be in good enough spirits to bug for a favor, he gave him a thumbs up sign, "Hey, Tristan! Hot Dog's out of surgery, did you hear that? We'd better go and see how it's doing!"

"Joey, you can't be serious! I promised Otogi I'd take him to Mattress World today and I cannot be riding you around town to check on a hotdog!"

He blinked before pouting, "You could be a little more sensitive, Tristan. After all, if I'm your friend and Hot Dog is my friend then I think you two should get along pretty well! Hot Dog's sick and I want to see how it's doing now! Hot Dog needs me…!" He almost whined.

"… Can you believe this guy?" Tristan suddenly turned to his left, where Otogi once was, but upon turning, the space not only lacked an Otogi but was filled with a piece of paper that floated in the air. Tristan blinked a few times before taking the paper in hand and reading it, 'I've gone to apply moisturizer. If anything scandalous happens before I come back, I'd like to hear about it over the counter in the jewelry store. -heart- Otogi!'

There was a moment of silence before Joey suggested, eagerly, "Otogi's gone! C'mon, let's go to the hospital before he gets ba—"

"I'm back!" Came a loudly obnoxious voice from behind both teens. They turned around and sweatdropped at seeing Otogi standing there, freshly oiled and dressed in semi-appropriate attire. He wore a determined grin and pointed towards the window with vigor, "Tristan! It's Tuesday! And that means Victoria Secret is coming out with it's new line for femme boys! Boxers that lift and separate!"

"…"

"…"

Both boys looked at him in silence before Joey had the courage to ask, "Separates… what?"

Otogi looked at him before breaking out into a fit of giggles and slapping Joey on the back, blushing, "Ooh, you cheeky, little boy! Well just you wait and see!" He finished assaulting Joey and began dragging Tristan down the hallway, "Sales await, Tristan!"

"H-Hey!" He shouted, being lugged down the stairs and out the front door, "D-Does this m-mean no Mattress World?"

"Nope!" He threw said boy into the car while Joey hopped in back at the last minute.

Joey looked over the front seat, smiling and panting like a puppy about to go on a car trip. Otogi took the wheel and made sure Tristan was in the passenger's seat with his wallet. He started up the car and they were soon backing out of the driveway and going down the street.

The puppy of the trio looked at Otogi through the side view mirror and asked, "Hey, before you go to Victoria's Secret, could we stop off at the hospital? I really want to see how Hot Dog is doing."

Tristan piped up, "Don't you do it, Otogi! With any luck, they'll feed that hotdog to an octogenarian with a limp!"

"Shut up, Tristan!"

"I'm trying to save you from your hotdog-induced insanity!"

"Alright, both of you be quiet!" Otogi demanded and then looked at his watch, quickly, "Hmm… Well, the sale doesn't begin until around five. So, I guess we have time to swing around the hospital."

"Well, I think—!"

"We didn't ask you!" Joey shouted at Tristan who was only too close to kicking his deranged butt out of the car. But because of the fact that he didn't want to undo his seatbelt with Otogi driving in the middle of a crowded intersection, he remained seated and watched as the miles flew by and they were on their way.

.0.0.

Despite Otogi's crazed driving skills and the fact that Joey insisted on blaring rock music all the way to the hospital, they made it relatively quickly and without any serious accidents. No 'serious' accidents because Otogi claimed that hitting two ducks and a deer wasn't a bad thing, in fact, he thought becoming road kill was a peaceful passage to the afterlife.

Tristan didn't agree.

Joey didn't care.

They pulled into the parking lot and Joey went racing out of the car followed by a sorrowful and annoyed Tristan and Otogi, who was making bedroom eyes at one of the passing doctors.

In a minute, all three were at room 204 on the second floor of the hospital. Dr. Kitty told Joey that Hot Dog was doing well and that the piece of meat was ready to receive visitors.

Taking in a deep breath, the blonde opened the door in one swift motion and entered the all white room. In the center of the room was a large white bed, very smooth and placid. But in the center of said bed was an obstruction of the meaty nature. There sat a wrinkled piece of meat wrapped tightly in white bandages that hugged each curve and it appeared to be almost mummified.

Joey rushed over to it and shouted, "Hot Dog! A-Are you okay?"

"…"

"I can barely hear you, say it again?"

"…"

"Oh… So, how do you feel?" He asked, looking at the IV tube that was injected into the thing's face. "This looks pretty painful."

Tristan walked up to the other side of the bed, accompanied by his raven-haired appendage. He blinked, looking at the bandaged hotdog, "… Who the hell would do this to a freaking hotdog?"

"A very skilled doctor." Otogi nodded solemnly.

"Oh, will you…!" Tristan shooed the teenager away from himself before turning sharply to Joey who was deep in conversation, "Joey! Let's get out of here, this hospital is obviously as crazy as you are!"

Joey ignored this negative comment and continued to stare at Hot Dog, "I wonder how you look now…"

Suddenly, the door opened again and Dr. Kitty walked in, his white coat swinging behind him. He smiled as he walked into the room with his clipboard, coming to stand beside Joey and watching the resting meat as well.

"I know you can't see it," He began, "But I think Hot Dog's operation went quite well for a pioneering surgery. We repaired all the damage that was done but to heal completely, it'll have to keep the bandages on for about another week. But aside from that, all the ground work's done, so to speak, and it's ready to go home whenever you are."

"Y-You mean I can take it home?" Joey exclaimed, excited.

"Sure can." Dr. Kitty nodded.

Tristan held his head, "This is ridiculous…!"

"Well, that's great, but… recovering from an operation? My apartment isn't the kind of place suited for that type of thing. Hot Dog's going to need to be comfortable and I live in the ghetto!" He twisted his mouth, deep in thought for what seemed like two seconds before his head jerked up and he looked at his two friends on the other side of the bed, "Unless…! Hey, Tristan! Do you think, for just a week, Hot Dog and I could—"

"No, you may not!" He shouted, red in the face, "How could you even ask—!"

"Oh, Tristan, what's the big deal?" Otogi had been admiring himself in the small mirror by the bed for quite some time until he turned around and made a face at the brunette, "It's not like they'd take up much space."

"But!"

"You can stay at my house if you want…" He said to Joey, "But you have to promise to listen to me and pay attention to me when I'm in need."

Joey blinked before smiling brightly, "Aw, thanks, Otogi! I promise to pay attention to ya!"

"Good." He nodded and smiled.

Dr. Kitty smiled, "Sounds like a plan to me."

Every face in the room wore a huge, sunny smile. Except one face. The last face's expression was filled with horror and confusion and anger and all these emotions backed up on him and he exploded into a thousand tiny pieces.

No, just kidding. But he did run out of the room, screaming.


TBC…