Her Sweetness: -waves- Miss me? I missed you. Heh heh…


—Hot Man, Hot Dog—

Part Nine: Joey's Moving In Day

"And this is your room… Oh! Will 'Hot Dog' be needing a separate room? Or do you two, eh, you know…"

Joey blinked, obviously not getting the underlying message.

Otogi, sensing this lack of understanding, reiterated in a less subtle way. He leaned against the doorframe with one hand and put his other hand on his hip, "You know! Do you two get jiggy with it?"

"… AH! G-God! Otogi, what the hell is wrong with you?" He jumped back, horror-stricken at the use of suggestive language in the presence of young meat. The bandaged hotdog, currently in his hand, seemed to not care.

The raven-haired teen shrugged, "What? It's a reasonable question. For a eighteen-year-old, you sure are sensitive… Anyway, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to. Keep your 'privacy'… But, remember, I live here and Tristan is a frequent visitor so please keep the screams of passion down to a minimum."

"OTOGI!"

"Eek! Gosh, I'm going, I'm going!" He cried, having to jump away from the blonde who nearly lunged at him. Otogi flipped his hair and soon was sashaying down the hallway, leaving Joey and Hot Dog in front of their room.

Joey rolled his eyes and walked in, still blushing rather hotly. He closed the door before walking over to the bed with the hotdog. "Don't listen to that guy, Hot Dog. He's a real nut and the biggest pervert I know… It's kinda shameful to even admit that I know him."

"…"

"Yeah, you're right. Setting us up with a room until you get better was really nice of him…"

"…"

"He's probably not as freaky as the bathroom walls in Pizza Hut say."

"…"

"Thanks, I will." He smiled and set the meat down on one of the fluffy, white pillows on the large bed and took in a breath, planting his hands on his hips and taking a look around. "… Well, it's certainly big enough for two people. And now my back won't hurt from sleeping on the floor!"

"…"

Joey tilted his head, "Sorry, I couldn't understand that."

"…"

"Hmm, those bandages are really tight… It's a wonder you can even breathe in there! Is it uncomfortable? Should I…?" He leant in, one knee on the bedspread and his hand over the hotdog, preparing to unravel the recovering meat.

"…"

"Oh! Sorry, I forgot. A whole week with that thing on then, huh? I couldn't stand it."

"…"

"You're the bravest piece of meat I've ever met."

"…"

"Y-Yeah, well…" Joey blushed, smiling, "I guess you've been rubbing off on me. So, anyway, I'll leave you alone for a while. So you can get some shut-eye." He eased off the bed and started for the door. But before he was all the way out, he stopped, turning around to hear what the inanimate object of his affection had to say.

"…"

"… You got it!" He gave a thumbs-up sign, "Ya got my word, I won't let Otogi come near you with toothpicks!"

"…"

"Later."

.0.0.

"Oh, God, Otogi. Not again."

Tristan looked on in near horror at the sight of Otogi donning his 'Kiss My Rolling Pin' apron. They were both currently in the kitchen, Tristan sitting at the table and Otogi over by the stove; now finished tying the knot in the back of his white and pink checkered apron, he twirled around with a wooden spoon in his hand and shook it, violently, at the brunette.

"Now you listen here, Tristan. I am a good cook and I will make something yummy for dinner and you will eat it and you will not feed it to the dog under the table!"

He blinked, "Otogi, you don't have a dog."

"Hey, everybody!" Came a happy voice bopping down the stairs and into the kitchen. Joey smiled as he stepped onto the linoleum.

Otogi beamed, "Ah, here he is." He turned towards the boy who was now leaning on the counter, opposite of the stove which was where Otogi had a pot of something boiling. "Hey there, Joey, are you all unpacked?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. But the only thing I had was my cell phone and a bottle of Viagra my mom gave me when I was five."

Before Otogi even opened his mouth, Tristan coughed and silenced him.

He mumbled to the teen, fiddling with a fork, "You don't want to hear that story…"

"Oh…"

Joey looked from teen to teen and shrugged it off, continuing what he was saying to Otogi, "But that's about it. Hot Dog's resting now so I thought I'd come down here. What're you cooking?"

Suddenly, a sly grin spread across the raven-haired boy's face. He lightly waved his wooden spoon in Joey's face and took him by the sleeve, leading him over towards the stove and taking off the lid to reveal, after a vile puff of smog emerged, a pool of green sludge, thick and choppy with pieces of squid heads and tentacles swirling around.

Joey's face lost it's color.

Tristan held his nose, "Otogi! Close that lid! The neighbors will complain!"

"Oh, hush, Tristan! They aren't your neighbors!" He huffed, dipping the large spoon into the concoction and held it up to Joey's mouth. He lowered his eyelids, singing out, "Say 'ah'…!"

"N-No way!" Joey covered his mouth, "That's so gross!"

"Jo-eeeeeeeeeeeeee!" He screeched, trying to get at the blonde's mouth.

"No, Otogi!" Joey cried, but was losing the battle as the other teen lunged at him, forcing them both on the floor, rolling around and around.

Tristan frowned, getting out of the chair and moving back against the stove just in time to avoid being dragged into their fight. He shouted, "Hey, cut it out you two! Get off the floor, you're going to knock something over!"

But it was too late, as it often is. Otogi was rolling around, still trying to get Joey to eat the slop on a stick and Joey was rolling around trying to escape. They hit the oven and almost immediately, Otogi's pot came crashing down to the floor. Of course, as luck would have it, Joey and Otogi's squabble had led them away from the stove while Tristan was left, sticky and wearing an almost burning t-shirt, covered in the green goo.

"AAAHHH! HOT! HOT!" He screamed, running around the kitchen, his arms up in the air, brown eyes wide with tears and horror as he ran up the stairs.

Joey blinked, kicking Otogi off of himself and sprinting up after his buddy, "Hey, Tristan! H-Hold on, man, stop running!"

"Ah… HEY! Come back here, Joey!" And Otogi was up as well, chasing after the two with his half-full wooden spoon.

"HOT!"

"TRISTAN!"

"TASTE THIS!"

Tristan, whose senses - even though he was going through a fair amount of pain - were returning, slowed down once he got to the upstairs hallway and took of his shirt, revealing a raw-looking stomach. Even though he was a bit charred, he smiled, glad for saving himself from third degree burns. He turned to face Joey who he knew was following him.

"Hey, Joey, I'm okay—"

"JOEY, YOU'D BETTER EAT THIS!"

"NO FREAKING WAY!"

Tristan's face dropped. A new fear arose in him, he looked behind himself to see where he was standing and waved his hands wildly at the two running towards him.

"NO! WAIT! STOP!"

They didn't hear and both boys ran into Tristan, all three of them crashing through the hallway's window overseeing the side yard and out they went.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"


In the middle of the street a mother walked with her little girl's hand in hers. The five-year-old stopped and pointed at a house on the street, three boys falling out of a second story window, screaming.

"Ooh, look, Mommy." She smiled in awe, "They're flyin'!"


About thirty minutes later in that same neighborhood, a blue and white car pulled up to the large, white house's driveway. The police had been called by a worried neighbor. And, although the police made extremely frequent visits to this house in particular and were used to odd things happening in the neighborhood, they came out anyway to please the normal people.

The officer stepped out of the car, adjusting his belt and looked to his young partner who was about to get out of his seatbelt as well. "Hey, you stay there, Carl. This'll only take a minute."

"Um… alright."

He nodded and went up to the door, knocked three times and waited, hearing a little bit of commotion and then the door opened, a rather mussed-up teen with green eyes holding the doorknob.

"Oh…" Otogi immediately lost his 'what the hell do you want?' look and adopted a 'come hither' expression, "Hey there, Officer Todd."

"Alright, Mr. Ryuuji. What is it this time? Your neighbor, Mrs. Kao, called and said she heard screams and pained wails come from over here."

He huffed, "Why does she always bother me? I didn't do anything!"

"Do I have to confiscate something from you again?"

"You already have my handcuffs, I don't have anything else!"

Officer Todd gave the boy a disbelieving look and sighed when Otogi returned the look with a wink. He shook his head and pulled out a pad and pen, "Just tell me what went on so I can go."

"… Well," He rolled his eyes, leaning against the doorframe, "Long story short, no one likes my cooking, and so we fell out of the second story window. See?" He pointed up and the officer craned his neck to see a large, broken window. He was about to say something but his gaze moved from the shattered glass to the second window where there sat a blonde with a wrapped up something in his hand, his lips happily moving.

The man in blue looked at Otogi, "… Who's that up there? The blonde?"

"Hmm? Oh. That's Joey. He'll be living with me for the next week."

"Why?"

"His wiener is recovering from surgery."

"…" His eyes widened.

"I swear, he's so obsessed. He'll probably be up there playing with it all week."

"…"

"Oh well, he's young. He's never had one before."

"…"

"Ahem. So, did you want to come in, Officer Todd?" He lowered his voice, taking a step foreword, "I just made dinner, would you like some? It's really good."

"… U-Uh, no thanks, I have doughnuts… Um, just keep the noise down in the future, Mr. Ryuuji. Goodbye." And with that said, he almost sprinted to the car and they hightailed it out of there, Officer Todd's young partner asking questions all the way.

Otogi pouted, "Nobody wants to play with me!"

.0.0.

"Thanks, but I'm okay."

"…"

"Nah, I don't need a doctor, I'm fine!" Joey grinned, rubbing the back of his head. He actually didn't get it the worst of the fall, him being in the middle. He'd landed on Tristan which cushioned his fall not to mention the pile of leaves they landed into. But having Otogi screaming and flailing around, holding onto his head, was not his idea of safe and so, due to Otogi's crazed fit, he had a fair amount of scratches on his back.

He shook his head, smiling, "It was almost kinda fun. I've never flown before."

"…"

"Yeah, maybe one day, we can go together."

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Joey turned his head and chirped out, "Come in."

"Hey, Joey…" Tristan moaned, opening the door with his shoulder. He looked rather awful. A cut above his eyebrow and a few more all over his body. Dirt smudges here and there and he couldn't move his right leg. Joey had earlier asked Tristan to go see a doctor but Tristan, who was locked in macho-mode, declined. He now asked, "Joey, do you have any cocoa butter?"

"Uh, no. Sorry. I think I saw Otogi with some earlier, though. It might be in his bedroom—"

"…" Hot Dog intervened.

"Oh. Alright. Tristan, it's on his dresser."

Tristan blinked, "What are you talking about?"

"Hot Dog just said the cocoa butter you wanted was on Otogi's dresser. Did you hurt your ears, too?"

"Ugh! Joey! Don't tell me you're talking to that—"

"Oh, BOYS!"

Both teens looked away from each other and towards Otogi who had appeared in the doorway next to Tristan. He was sparkling and happy, obviously recovered from any injuries he might've obtained during the fall, that is if he even received any. He waved his purse, which was slung over his shoulder, at them and it jingled. "I'm going to Victoria's Secret now. The sale starts in fifteen minutes and I don't want to have to wait in line behind those fat cows."

Tristan shook his head, "Sorry, Otogi, I can't take you. I'm way too tired."

"Oh, you poor thing. That's okay; I got all the money I needed from your wallet and I'm taking your MasterCard just for backup. If you need anything, I have my cell phone on 'tingle'."

Joey tilted his head, "Don't you mean 'vibrate'?"

Otogi winked, "You have yours and I have mine. Toodles."


TBC…