Her Sweetness: Chapter's out. I swear I could not think straight while writing this. My mind was like this giant cloud, devoid of thought. Oh well.
—Hot Man, Hot Dog—
Part Fifteen: Insert Cool Chapter Name Here
"Well that was scandalous," Otogi, being the first one to speak since the television was turned off, observed in the quiet. He looked down at Joey who sat with his legs crossed, his mouth hanging open.
A few more seconds of silence before Joey's head dropped into his hands and he groaned. "Oh my God! I can't believe what I just saw! How could they put that kinda stuff on the news?"
"I'll say," Otogi nodded sagely. "Your hair was a mess in that picture Joey. And your shoes didn't match, either; something like that really will shame your mother."
"…" The blonde looked up, his brown eyes twitching like crazy.
"Well, I think there's a lesson to be learned from this," Tristan said finally, folding his arms across his chest. He had been standing next to Otogi behind the couch but was now walking around the front to stand in between Joey, Hot Dog and the television. He turned to the distraught blonde. "It's obvious that Domino, no matter how crazy it may seem, has some sense left. Everyone thinks this is ridiculous, so give it up, Joey."
"H-How could you say that, Tristan?"
"With my mouth."
"I have a mouth," Otogi reminded everyone, none too subtly.
Joey ignored him. "I wish you'd lay off, Tristan. This has nothing to do with you anymore, I know you're against this but Hot Dog and I are in love and we're going through with this,"
"But Joey!" Tristan shouted, his voice exasperated. He twisted his mouth at the wiener sitting next to his ex-best friend. "That is a freaking piece of meat! It's not alive, it cannot talk; you need help!"
"Maybe the only reason Hot Dog doesn't talk to you is because you're a mean fart,"
"It's not alive! It's never been alive!"
There was a pause. "I'm not listening to you, Tristan," Joey said and turned sideways.
"Dammit, Joey, listen to me!"
"La la la! I'm not listening!" Joey shouted, one of his hands blocking his left ear and his right ear had Hot Dog rammed in it, blocking out Tristan's demands. Joey continued to sing: "La la la la! Not listening! La la!"
"JOEY!"
"LA LA LA!"
Meanwhile, Otogi was standing there still, his hands on his hips in an objecting pose. A pout was securely fastened to his face and his green eyes glittered with jealousy as the other two boys raged on with their argument. He'd been long overdue for some attention and he was tired of waiting for it.
"Well, not that anyone cares but I'm going out for a while!" Otogi shouted over both Joey's and Tristan's wails of malcontent. When neither of them even spared Otogi an acknowledging glance, he balled his fists and stomped away, towards the front door.
"Fine!" He huffed. "If no one wants to know where I'm going, I'll just leave and not tell anyone! And I may not be back for hours!"
"YOU GOTTA GET RID OF THAT HOTDOG!"
"SHUT UP, TRISTAN, I WON'T DO IT!"
Otogi's face reddened. "Days, even!"
"FINE THEN, I'LL DO IT!"
"YOU BETTER NOT! TRISTAN! GIVE IT BACK!"
Tired of waiting, Otogi grumbled under his breath and turned the doorknob, ready to go out and meet Ryou and Malik to ready a wedding present for Joey. Unfortunately for Otogi, as he opened the door to his home, he was bombarded with all different kinds of shouting, more than what he was receiving in the house.
Tons of people were outside the home, all on the lawn and in the street, news vans surrounding the sidewalk and men and women with picket-signs walking around on the street were near by. The different signs were colorful and some of the words were rather depressing.
'Down with meat molesters!'
'Wieners are for eating and not THAT kind!'
'The Hotdog Maniac is corrupting our schools and wienerfying our government.'
'I like eggs.'
It's true that some of the picket signs had nothing to do with the cause and those who were deeply involved in a relationship with eggs were removed from the vicinity.
As soon as the door was fully opened and Otogi was seen standing in all his gay-glory in the threshold, the press flocked to him, causing him to take a step back out of shock. A woman with short black hair got to Otogi first, beating the other news reporters to death with an unwrapped deli meat which she pulled out of her pants.
She came up to Otogi, panting hard and stuffing the meat back into her pants. A microphone was shoved into his face as she nearly shouted: "Are you Otogi Ryuuji?"
"Um, yes. Yes, I am," He nodded, looking around once more. "What are you people doing in front of my house? You're messing up my lawn!"
"Quickly, tell Domino what is it like in your home since the Hotdog Maniac moved in! Is it true that you and he and the hotdog have private time with a can of whipped cream?"
There was a pause.
"No, I don't do that!"
"Then can you tell us if the Hotdog Maniac is truly radioactive and has a mechanical man-part?"
"… Well, I honestly wouldn't know," Otogi said, leaning against the frame of the door and mumbled: "He hasn't let me look…"
"Hey, Otogi, who are you talking to?"
Instantly, at hearing that familiar voice, Otogi and the newswoman and the rest of the street turned to see Joey standing beside Otogi, Hot Dog currently duct tapped to his head.
When he had seen all the signs, he turned to the woman who had been questioning Otogi and said, eyebrow raised: "Hey, what's up with all those signs? Are you that Marsha Mitsubishi I saw on TV?"
The woman blinked and nodded.
"Well let me tell ya something! I am not a Hotdog Maniac and I'm not doing anything wrong so why don't you all take a hike?"
The entire street was quiet. The protestors had stopped protesting and all the other news crews had stopped broadcasting. Everyone starred at Joey who was now feeling a little uncomfortable with all the eyes on him. Otogi yawned and walked off the porch, across the law and headed for the driveway.
On his way, another newswoman caught his eye and he slid over next to her, smiling at the camera the other man held. Otogi grabbed the microphone from her and shouted into the camera: "Hello, this is Otogi Ryuuji! I'm a hot little thing who loves to go barhopping! I'm lonely so if any single guys out there wanna give me a call, the number is 555-EASY! That's 555-EASY—"
The woman he'd shooed away knocked the microphone out of his hand and huffed. "What a sicko…"
Joey, meanwhile, was currently being harassed by the media. Everything had started up again and with no Otogi in front of him, Joey was live bait. He tried to close the door on Marsha and the other reporters but they were persistent.
"M-Mr. Wheeler!" Marsha shouted, trying to push the door open. "Is it true that your hotdog's relatives will be attending the wedding?"
"Grr! I'm not answering questions right now!" He pushed harder against the door.
Another question was thrown. "Hotdog Maniac! Do you have any premonitions for your wedding night?"
"Good-BYE!" Joey shouted and finally won the battle, shoving all his weight against the door, closing and locking it. Though the pounding on the door persisted, Joey was relieved and was positive that they would go away sooner or later.
Tristan, coming up from behind the couch, went to the window and saw Otogi's car pulling out of the driveway, simultaneously running over a few newsmen. When Otogi seemed to realize what he had done, he got out of the car and picked up the best looking anchorman and threw him in the trunk before continuing down the road.
"So… where's he going again?" Tristan asked.
Joey shrugged. "Only Otogi would know,"
.0.0.
All throughout Upper Domino, there was a raucous laughter echoing through the streets. Everyone looked up in annoyance, all knowing who it must've been. All the glares and disapproving looks were aimed at the Kaiba mansion. Inside the large manor, the chuckles were coming from the second floor, Seto Kaiba's at-home office.
Presently, Kaiba's computer was being ignored, the CEO's attention focused on the television set across the room. The station was turned to Channel 8 News, Marsha Mitsubishi covering the latest news in Domino: the Hotdog Maniac scandal. There was a complete mess outside the home of Otogi Ryuuji where the Hotdog Maniac was being harassed by all the news crews and concerned citizens in the city.
Kaiba had been watching it for hours, and not yet had he tired of seeing what had become of Joey Wheeler.
Suddenly there was a knock on his office door. A voice from the other side said: "Big brother! Can I come in?"
"Ugh…" Kaiba's eyes shifted from the television set to the door. "Fine, Mokuba,"
The door burst open and a ball of black hair came shuffling inside, immediately making it's way to Kaiba's desk. When the tufts of hair lifted, Mokuba's face was seen looking up at his elder brother.
Kaiba blinked. "… Mokuba, you need a haircut,"
"No thanks,"
"You look like a girl,"
"Maybe I like it."
"…"
"Anyway, Seto," Mokuba said, eyes flickering to the TV. He pointed outside. "Can you keep your laughing down a bit? We're getting complaints from the neighbors… again."
Kaiba glared at him and then sighed. "Yeah fine,"
"Good. What's so funny anyway? I haven't heard you laugh so much since that time you saw Gozaburo naked."
"Oh, it's nothing, Mokuba. I've just been watching the news… it turns out, Wheeler's getting married."
Mokuba raised an eyebrow and then sighed, patting Kaiba's hand sympathetically. "Oh, I'm so sorry, big brother. I know you must be distraught. Don't worry, there will be other puppies,"
There was a pause. "J-Just what are you talking about?" Kaiba shrieked.
"Um. Well. I know you like—"
"No I do not!"
The younger of the two looked worried at his brother's high-pitched tone. He tired to calm him down. "O-Okay, Seto. No need to get all worked up about it. But look, I have something for you. The mail came early." He reached back into his pocket and produced a letter a little large than Mokuba's hand. It was a light pink and smelled strongly of expensive perfume.
Kaiba took it and unsealed it, taking the note out and reading it:
Dear Seto and Mokuba Kaiba,
You have been cordially invited to the wedding of Joey Wheeler and Hot Dog to be held on August 10th, 2006 at the SUPER Chapel of Love, 10 a.m. sharp.
The address is as follows:
1167 Humdinger Ave.
West Side, Domino 33616
Please dress in something sexy. Or nothing at all. If you have any questions, call at this number:
555-EASY
Thank you.
Otogi Ryuuji, Domino's Personal Love Guru and Joey Wheeler's Lover.
There was another long pause.
"Wow, Seto," Mokuba said in awe. "I've never been to a wedding before. This is exciting! What are you gonna wear, Seto?"
"… Probably a bowtie,"
"… And that's it…?"
"…"
.0.0.
A little while after Otogi left the house and nothing else too exciting happened, all the news crews left as well. The protestors lingers for a while but eventually left, too, though they left a large amount of dead fish on the doorstep with attached threatening notes.
Joey went upstairs to take a nap and Tristan was able to get some privacy down stairs with the phone.
Ring Ring Ring…
"Hello?"
Tristan sighed. "Yami, get Yugi on the phone, please,"
"Why? I'm not good enough?"
"No!"
There was a pause and then shuffles and the faint sound of sobs. Finally, Yugi was on the other line. "Tristan? What'd you say to Yami? He's crying."
"…"
"Tristan?"
"He's such a baby. Anyway, Yugi, the idea failed. I couldn't kidnap the hotdog, Joey woke up and I found out that Otogi was in the bed too. After that, Joey wouldn't go to sleep again. Then we had a fight this morning."
"Sounds… weird. I guess you guess saw the news, then?"
"Oh yeah,"
Yugi nodded into the receiver. "And also… I got the invitation to go to the wedding. I, um, I think Otogi was the one to type these up. Anyway, me and Yami also got personal invites to be the best men for Joey."
"Don't tell me you're actually going to!"
"Well, I don't have much of a choice." He sighed. "And Joey is my best friend. If this is what he wants then there's nothing I can do about it,"
"Agh!" Tristan squealed, shaking the phone. "You've crossed over to the dark side!"
"You've gotta admit, the light side is getting a little small,"
"Yugi, that's not the point!"
Tristan slammed the phone down and sulked on the couch, thinking about his last resort.
.0.0.
Beep, Beep!
"Okay, okay; I'm coming!"
Otogi looked out of the window on the other side of the front seat, watching as Ryou came bouncing out of his house and came down the driveway, opening the door to the backseat and sliding in. Once Ryou shut the door and Otogi started the car again, Ryou noticed Malik sitting in the front seat.
"Hey, Malik! I didn't know Otogi had already picked you up,"
Malik shrugged, looking back at the albino teen behind him. "Well, I was already waiting on my lawn, so Otogi swung by and picked me up first."
"Oh… Why were you on the lawn?"
A pause. "Marik threw me out of the window,"
"Again?" Ryou's eyes widened.
"Yeah. He didn't like the jazzercise outfit I bought him."
"You mean the one with the cat ears?"
"Uh-huh,"
"Well he has bad taste! Those were adorable!"
Otogi turned around to look at both of them. "Alright, alright. Settle down, you two. We've got important business to attend to!"
"Important?" They asked in unison.
"That's right. Joey's wedding present. I can't do it by myself so I called the two most creative people I know. Second only to me." Otogi nodded solemnly.
Ryou smiled. "Aw!"
"By the way…" the raven-haired teen continued. "Did you two get your invitations, yet?"
"Sure did,"
"Great. But I forgot to add in another note. See, Yami and Yugi are going to be the best men for Joey. But that wiener of Joey's doesn't have any bride's maids. And since you two would look absolutely fabulous in what I've got planned, I was wondering if you two wouldn't mind…?"
"Being the bride's maids? Us?" Both Malik and Ryou asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yep."
They looked at each other for a moment before nodding. "Okay,"
"Wonderful!"
"Um… Hey, Otogi?"
"Yes?"
"… Shouldn't you be… watching the road?"
There was a moment of silence.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
TBC…
