Day 1: Today is the first day we have to go to that smelly, icky, bug-inhabited, deserted, God-forsaken deathtrap DAD calls a "nature" vacation. Gee, I'd rather like school. We're on the canoe. Whoop! We're here! Gotta' unload the chunks of survival called "luggage"!
Day 2: Second day of camping. Mr. Character asked me to go fishing. Gosh, who would want to fish in THAT dump? You're in a smelly boat, catching some icky, half-dead fish in the middle of filthy lake called Michigan. Too sad. I had to go fishing. It rained the whole time. One fish we caught was half-bitten by a shark. That half-bitten fish was the only fish we ever caught.
Day 3: Ugh, we had to go on a HIKE! (Plays "Psycho" theme song as lightning flashes) Gosh, is this maniac drunk? Dad was so stupidly happy as if he just saw green for the first time. In fact, that color was completely surrounding us. It rained again. The good news? We got a snack of Fig Newton bars! Yummy! Let's see…the serving size is…2 COOKIES! Let's not worry about serving sizes anymore. I also had to digest a horrible spam sandwich. It was just a bunch of rotten meat crumbled up into some disgusting blob called "spam" Gosh, it tastes like dog food!
Day 4: Another boring camping day. It's too boring to describe. I'll just say this: Went fishing again, weather was cruel to us, and we caught nothing.
Day 5: 3 more days and we're going! YAHOO! Today we went on another hike. BORRRRRINGGGG! I'm now so itchy because I was bitten by bugs and I was affected by poison ivy. Again, I had to eat another icky spam sandwich.
Day 6: Tee hee, Calvin doesn't know I'm writing in his personal diary! I'm with him that this trip is a deathtrap rock. Another boring day. Hiked, rained again, and had to eat spam.
Day 7: I should tell Hobbes to stop writing in my diary! Now, where was I? Oh, yeah! ONE MORE DAY OF TORTURE AND WE GET TO GO HOME! YIPEEEEE! Let's say, we went on another hike. Unfortunately, we got lost. Don't blame me! Blame Father Nature! He was crazy (and when I say "crazy", I mean "happy") that we were lost in the middle of a forest on a deserted rock in Lake Michigan. He did seen a little disappointed when we found our campsite. We had to eat more spam sandwiches! The dessert? SEAWEEDS ON A STICK! YUKKKK! IS THIS GUY NUTS! IT COULD BE POISONOUS! Well, gotta' go to bed. Gotta' rest my voice for tomorrow. Should cheer very loudly when we go home. You know what I talkin' about, right?
