Part 2 – The Plan Goes Awry

Sasuke was leaning back on the bridge railing, coldly ignoring Sakura's romantic overtures when Naruto came running up.

"Hey, hey! Guess what I just heard this morning!" Naruto said excitedly, nearing jumping out of his skin.

Sasuke just looked at him, then looked away, and did not deign to guess anything.

"Whatever, just tell us," said Sakura impatiently. I just needed another couple of minutes to wear down Sasuke-kun's defenses. He was definitely coming around. Damn Naruto and his bad timing! Kunai his ass!

"Guess! It's about Kakashi sensei and the ramen girl!"

"I thought they were over. Isn't she back with Iruka sensei?" asked Sakura whose curiosity was now piqued.

"Yes, but something's come up, or rather will come out, in like 8 months," Naruto fell to the ground laughing hysterically and clutching his stomach.

Sasuke now raised his head attentively.

Sakura's jaw dropped. "You mean she's pregnant with Kakashi sensei's baby?"

"Yes! I heard the old ramen guy yelling at Kakashi-sensei when I passed by this morning. I bet he's going to be super late today!"

"Kakashi…a father… doesn't seem… like a good idea," Sasuke finally voiced his thoughts.

Sakura agreed, "Iruka sensei would make a much better father. I wonder what she'll do, if she's really over Kakashi sensei. Poor Iruka sensei."

"Do you think Kakashi sensei would marry her?" asked Naruto, wondering if that would entitle his team to free ramen.

"I doubt it. Look at what kind of guy he is. Look at the way he treated her before. This is an unmitigated disaster! I wonder how Iruka sensei is taking this…"

"There you guys are! You have to help me!" Ayame cried desperately while running up to the team.

Sakura quickly whispered to the boys, "Pretend like we don't know anything. We don't want to embarrass her any further. She's always been a little loopy. We don't want to send her over the edge."

"Kakashi sensei ruined my life!"

The team nodded in silence.

"You have to help me win back Iruka sensei. He found out about me and Kakashi sensei and…he…dumped me!" Ayame was now bawling her eyes out after holding it in for so long.

Pathetic, falling apart like that over a guy, thought Sakura. "Yes, we understand your…situation, but what can we do to help?" Sakura asked kindly.

Ayame stopped crying and tried hard to compose herself. "Naruto-kun, you have to talk to Iruka sensei. Make him understand. It was all a mistake. He'll listen to you rather than Kakashi sensei. You're like his…" she stopped to blow her nose in her kerchief that she usually wore around her hair.

"Son? Best friend?" Naruto prompted.

"No…pet dog…I mean you're someone he trusts and can talk to. Please!"

Naruto did not liked being compared to a pet animal but he placated himself by thinking she meant that he was loyal and trustworthy. "All right I'll do it in the name of true love! I'll convince him to forgive you and get him to take on all responsibilities!"

"Huh? Well, whatever… and you Sakura, you have to help me figure a way to win him back."

"Well, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but this is going to be tough…he's probably had enough of your ramen…"

"You have to help me break into his apartment!" A sudden idea just struck Ayame.

"What!" Sakura did not approve of illegal activities.

"I should've taken his spare keys, but stupid me. The door locks automatically. I have to get back into his apartment and wait for his return. He can't stay overnight at the Academy for much longer. You see…"

Ayame took Sakura aside, away from the prying ears and eyes of the boys. "The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach but through…sex. You're still too young for that sort of stuff, but it's good advice for later. You shinobis have lock picking skills, right?"

Does she mean I have to put out to get Sasuke-kun to like me? What kind of role model is she? "Well, yeah, I can get you in. Just promise not to break or take anything and don't tell anyone," Sakura agreed reluctantly.

Sasuke, who was pretending not to listen, had concentrated his chakra to his ears and heard everything everyone said. He shook his head at their folly. People are so stupid, especially women. As if a man would fall for something as low as that. Sex, is that all women think about?

-…-…-…-…-

Ayame left for her responsibilities at the ramen stand. After waiting for Kakashi for another hour, the team received a message by carrier pigeon that Kakashihad beenassigned another mission and would not be back until tomorrow. They had a nagging suspicion that Kakashi wanted to make himself scarce for a while. The team broke up to attend to various errands.

Naruto went to the Academy to find Iruka. He waited by the teacher's lounge, expecting him to return to his locker before lunchtime. His strategy worked as he soon saw Iruka looking downcast and walking slowly towards him. Naruto tried plan#1. He transformed himself to look like Ayame, but in a nice tight revealing outfit.

"Iruka-kun…" he gave Iruka the saddest, sexiest look he could muster.

"Ayame-chan…" Iruka said, surprised at her presence and at her dress. Then he recovered and firmly frowned and looked away. "I don't have anything to say to you right now," he said stubbornly.

"But Iruka-kun, you're the one I love. Please forgive me."

It was the first time either one of them had used the "L" word and it touched him greatly that she said it first. In his past relationships, he was always the first to say it, usually after just a few dates. The women would then turn cold and suddenly stop seeing him, thinking he was getting too serious too soon.

Ayame-Naruto sidled up close to Iruka and whispered seductively in his ear, "We can work this out. I'll do anything you say. Just meet me back at your place after classes are done." Naruto's act worked all too well as Iruka suddenly turned around and grabbed him by the waist, breaking Naruto's concentration and he transformed back to his regular self.

"What the hell! Naruto, what the fuck are you doing, playing around like this!" Iruka turned a shade of reddish purple that Naruto had never seen before in all his years of pranks.

"Er, hi, Iruka-sensei. I heard you and the ramen girl were having problems so I thought I would help out…"

"I don't need your help!" Iruka yelled angrily, causing some passer-bys to turn their heads and murmur. "And what's with everyone looking at me and whispering today?"

Naruto now tried plan#2, the sympathetic approach. "I know it must be very difficult for you, but even though you're not my real father, I think of you as one," he said honestly.

"Thanks, Naruto, but why are you saying this now?" asked Iruka suspiciously.

"It's just that…I know you'll be the real father to her child, not Kakashi-sensei…"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" All the veins in Iruka's head and neck were now visibly bulging.

"I know you'll be a great father to the ramen girl's baby. She loves you, not…"

"She's pregnant?"

"I thought you knew about her and Kakashi-sensei…"

"I did, but I didn't realize…" Iruka started to have other suspicions. Was that why she slept with me? Was she going to pass it off as my baby?

Naruto now realized it was not going well. He tried plan#3, the direct approach. "What does it matter whose baby it is? She loves you and you love her and Kakashi-sensei doesn't want anything to do with it…"

"That insensitive bastard! His own child and he bears no responsibility! He wants to pawn it off on me! I won't be his puppet…"

"Forget about Kakashi-sensei, just think about the ramen girl and having a nice little family with her. She's waiting for you…"

"Wait a second, is she still at my place?"

Naruto shrugged.

"Tell her to get out of there! I'm not going back until she's gone!"

"Iruka-sensei, I think you're making a big mistake…"

"This is none of your business Naruto. This is between us adults. We'll resolve it ourselves without your interference now get out of her before I escort you out!"

"Fine! Just remember this!" Naruto's last words before he transformed into a beautifully naked Ayame with minimal cloud coverage.

Poor Iruka fell back and hit his head against the wall. Blood dripped profusely from his nose. By the time he came to his senses, Naruto was gone.

-…-…-…-…-

When Ayame arrived at the ramen stand, her father greeted her coldly. "Ayame-chan, is there something you want to tell me?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry I'm late. Had some stuff to take care of…"

"I mean about Iruka sensei and Kakashi s…"

"It's under control and it's none of your business," she said defiantly while paring the vegetables.

"I'm your father, I'm here to help…"

"I'll take care of it. Don't worry. Hey, how did you know?"

"Kakashi sensei came by earlier…"

"That stupid jerk! Why's he blabbing to you?" She started to cut the vegetables into more manageable pieces.

"He probably thought that since I am your father, I'd be in a position to advise you…"

"Advise me with more ridiculous ramen analogies!" She started to dice her vegetables.

"Ridiculous or not, life can always be explained using ramen as a microcosm," her father replied defensively. I think my ramen analogies are nicely philosophical.

"Well, I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. Don't worry dad, I know you mean well, but this is my mess," Ayame said, a bit more kindly.

"Well, I'll support you in whatever decision you make. But you know I think Iruka sensei would make a great father."

"Huh? Yes, he would, but we're not ready for that yet."

"Well, of course, you two still have some time before you make any rash decision, but time passes much faster than you realize. It's like when you're making the soup stock and they say a watched pot never boils but then before you know it, it's boiled over and it's too late…"

"I have it under control!" Ayame chopped her vegetables furiously, now they were minced rather than diced. But she didn't care and to her father's horror, she threw them all into the stock pot.

-…-…-…-…-

After the lunch rush was over, Ayame met Sakura at Iruka's apartment.

"I don't know about this," Sakura said hesitantly. "It's really an invasion of privacy…"

"Oh, please, I've been in there plenty of times. Privacy's not an issue. And I promise I won't break or steal anything."

"All right, all in the name of love…"

Inner Sakura: Break into Sasuke's place! Find out what he likes! Take some of his hair from his hairbrush and make a Sasuke doll for a love jutsu!

Sakura took out her lock pick set. "We're supposed to be able to do it with just chakra, but I'm not at that level yet, so I'll have to try these." She selected a couple of picks and carefully felt for the cylinders and tumblers until she heard a click. "There you go…"

"Thanks so much Sakura-chan!" Ayame said as she brushed by the pink haired genin, entered the ground floor apartment, and quickly closed the door in Sakura's astonished face.

After all, Ayame thought, I've been here and she hasn't, so if she sees this place it really would be an invasion of privacy, and that wouldn't be fair to Iruka-kun.

-…-…-…-…-

Iruka-kun should be here soon, Ayame thought as she made preparations. After a rough day at the Academy, a shower, together, followed by a sensual message, then a nice snack…

Ramen was too messy to eat to be sensual so she bought some fruit instead. Ayame was wearing one of Iruka's robes, with nothing underneath, while trying to arrange the carefully cut fruit into something creatively interesting. But all she could come up with was a big smiley face composed of the strawberries, grapes, blueberries, apples, and bananas. She frowned as she noticed the apples and bananas were already turning brown.

Then she heard footsteps by the door. Ayame steadied her nerves, grabbed the doorknob and quickly opened the door expecting to surprise Iruka. She was wearing his robe with the front mostly open. Instead she found Naruto with bulging eyes and his tongue hanging out. She instinctively shot out her fist, which connected nicely with his jaw.

"What the hell are you doing here? Where's Iruka-sensei?" Ayame asked while closing the robe tightly and looking around.

Naruto got up slowly while rubbing his chin. Good thing she doesn't have the impact of Sakura's punch, he thought ruefully. "He's not coming. He says he's not coming back until he's sure you're gone. I was going to tell you earlier but I ran into Kiba and he started showing me Akamaru's new tricks and by the time I got to the ramen stand your dad said you left. Then I stayed and had a few bowls of ramen before I came over here…"

Ayame was not listening at all to Naruto's exuses. Iruka-kun does not want to have anything more to do with me, she thought sadly. Tears started to fall from her eyes, but she didn't bother to wipe them. She was straining to think of another plan.

"Hey, now, miss, don't give up! Never give up! I'm sure it will work out. Iruka-sensei's a great guy. He won't stay mad at you. Look at all the trouble I've caused him, and he's still my friend."

"Sigh, it's different between men and women," Ayame sniffed. "I'll have to think of another way to apologize."

"Guess it's easier with girls. If Sakura were mad at me, I'd send her flowers…if I had enough money." Naruto thought regrettably that he had just spent his weekly allowance on ramen, and Sakura would just throw his flowers in the trash. She only wanted flowers from Sasuke.

"Hmm… well, who says flowers are just for women…" Ayame's mind started spinning again.

-…-…-…-…-…-

Next up Sasuke gets roped into helping the ramen girl.