Part 4 – Cupid's Success

"Kakashi sensei is supposed to be back today. Maybe he can help," Sakura said, trying to be positive.

"I think he "helped" quite enough," said Naruto, trying hard not to laugh.

"Iruka sensei's not interested," said Sasuke bluntly when he arrived at Ichiraku.

Ayame looked close to tears. "What am I going to do?" she moaned.

"Try to be positive. Stress is not good for a woman in your condition…" said Sakura. How pathetic, get yourself together!

"Yeah, think of something positive… like names…" Naruto suggested.

"Names?" asked Ayame confused.

"Yeah, like what you're gonna name it, if it's a boy or girl…"

"Boy or girl?"

"You know, maybe a neutral non-gender name…"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Huh? Your baby of course! Now what would its family name be…Hatake, I guess…"

"WHAT! I'm NOT pregnant!" screamed Ayame as it dawned on her.

"You're not?" asked the three genins in unison.

"No! Where did you get that crazy idea?"

Sakura and Sasuke looked at Naruto.

"I, uh, overheard your dad and Kakashi sensei talking…"

"DAD!" yelled Ayame to the back of the stand where her father was taking an afternoon nap. "Who told you I was pregnant?"

"Kakashi sensei came over yesterday and…"

"That idiot! I'm NOT pregnant."

"You're not?"

"No!" screamed Ayame as passers-by stopped and stared. Ayame glared at them and screamed, "Tell everyone you know that I am NOT pregnant!"

-…-…-…-…-…-

"You! You! You just live to ruin my life! I hate you! What the hell did I ever see in you!"

Kakashi looked up from his book with a confused look in his eye. It was not unusual for strange women (and men!) to come up to him wondering the same thing. He struggled to recall what he could have possibly done this time to set her off. He had just returned from his mission, investigating a mysterious scroll (see "The Resurrecting Scroll" in "Excerpts from Kakashi's Diary"), and saw Ayame waiting for him at the door to his apartment.

"Huh?" he finally said.

"How could you tell my dad that I'm pregnant? And that you're the father? What the hell were you thinking, making up a story like that!

"You mean you're not pregnant?" Kakashi sighed in relief.

"No! I'm not! What made you think I was?"

"You said I ruined your life…"

"I was talking about my relationship with Iruka-sensei. He dumped me because I told him I slept with you. Biggest mistake of my life…"

"Going out with Iruka?" asked Kakashi, amused by the turn of events.

"No! Sleeping with you, idiot!"

He shrugged at her insult.

"You have to fix this. It's all your fault. Talk to Iruka sensei, convince him to take me back."

"I don't know if I can. It's really not my place to interfere…"

"You owe me! Use your…sharingan thingy… Do whatever it takes!"

"Well, I could hypnotize him into thinking he's in love with you if that's what you really want..."

"No! Don't! Don't do that. I want him to really love me. Not some genjutsu thingy." She sighed sadly, sniffed and started to cry.

Oh no! I hate to see a woman cry. "All right I'll speak to him immediately," Kakashi said sympathetically patting her on the shoulder.

"You will? I think he's been staying overnight at the Academy," she smiled. Tears always work.

-…-…-…-…-

I'm not being stubborn, I'm not! I'm not!

Then why are you spending another night in the teacher's lounge? Are you that afraid to face her?

If I face her I might lose my resolve.

What resolve? To spend the rest of your life alone?

There are other fish in the sea.

How many that don't want Kakashi? Do you know of any at all? Just make up with her. She said she loves you in that note. And you know, they say make-up sex is the best…

Iruka's thoughts were then rudely interrupted.

"Hi there, Iruka sensei, I thought it's about time for us to have a friendly chat," said Kakashi, suddenly appearing before Iruka who was packing his lecture material.

"Kakashi sensei, I'm sorry, but I'm busy. Please excuse me," responded Iruka coldly, without looking at him.

"This will only take a minute…" Kakashi blocked the exit.

"You don't have anything to say that I would care to hear…" Iruka looked him in the eye.

Kakashi sighed and in a blink of an eye he had expertly tied Iruka to a chair. "Sorry, I didn't want to resort to this, but you're as stubborn as my genins."

"Let me go Kakashi or…" Iruka flushed angrily.

"Or what? You're a chuunin, I'm a jounin. Should I be scared of you?" Kakashi almost chuckled at the sight of poor Iruka struggling futilely. He didn't want to sound condescending, but Iruka had been acting like a child. "I'll let you go but you have to promise and sit there and listen until I'm done."

Iruka finally nodded. It'll be a bit less humiliating that way, he thought.

Kakashi easily released the rope. "All right. Look, it's about the ramen girl."

"Ayame."

"Huh?"

"Her name is Ayame. You should address her appropriately considering the circumstances."

"That's what I'm here to discuss…"

"I can't believe you made her abort!" Iruka interjected angrily.

"Sigh, she was never pregnant! I can't believe how gossip gets around in this village. It's all a great big misunderstanding. She's not pregnant and she wants you, not me."

"She only wants me because she can't have you."

"Is that so bad?" asked Kakashi with a slight smile under his mask.

"I won't play second fiddle to anyone!"

"Anyone? Or just me?"

"What's that supposed to mean? You think you're so special…"

"Apparently you think I am."

"Huh?"

"It seems that you think about me a lot, don't you?"

"What? No, no I don't!"

"I think you're protesting a bit too much. Hmm, you are a great guy. I don't usually swing that way, but I might make an exception if you're interested…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Iruka stood up.

"Maybe you were only interested in the ramen girl because she was interested in me and she was just a proxy for me since you were unable to express your…" Kakashi continued coolly.

"What the hell are you saying?" Iruka was now shaking with fury. He clenched his fists and his teeth.

"You want me don't you?"

"What! No! Not at all! I love Ayame!"

"I see, so you do love her. Why didn't you just say that in the first place," Kakashi smiled at the chuunin and patted him on the shoulder. I just love playing cupid.

Iruka started to calm down. "I guess I have been acting like an idiot." Iruka was very relieved that Kakashi was just joking around. Wasn't he?

Kakashi nodded in agreement. "It's not a competition. I don't have problems with your relationship with Naruto."

That's right, Naruto likes me a lot more than he does Kakashi. He thinks Kakashi's lazy and weird. Maybe Ayame really does like me more. Iruka started to feel better and was back to his usual self. "Thank you Kakashi sensei. I'll go make up with her immediately."

"That's good. Of course, if things don't work out, I'm still available." He gave Iruka a wink, then chuckled madly to himself as he disappeared in a blink of an eye.

-…-…-…-…-

Ino was still behind the counter in the flower shop, lazily doing calculations with a pencil and notepad. How much did we rake in today…

When does she ever train? Iruka asked himself as he entered the store.

"Iruka sensei, long time no see. Have you found yourself another girl?"

"Huh? No, I…uh…"

"Too bad about that ramen girl getting knocked up by Kakashi sensei. I was really rooting for you, you know." Kakashi sensei's too cheap to buy flowers.

"She's not knocked up! I mean she's not pregnant. It was all a misunderstanding," Iruka responded heatedly.

"Oh. I see... Well, that's good, very good," smiled Ino. That means they must be back together!

"I need something to express my apologies…"

Ino smiled even more as her eyes turned into ryou signs.

-…-…-…-…-

It was already late and the ramen stand was about to close for the day. Iruka had returned home for a complete shower and shave. After having slept at the Academy for two nights, the usually meticulous chuunin really needed to make himself more presentable.

Iruka nervously walked up to the ramen stand mentally rehearsing his apology. Ayame was busy wiping down the counter in preparation for the next day when she heard him approach. "I'm sorry we're closed for the day…" she started to say before she looked up and saw Iruka holding two dozen long stemmed roses in an assortment of colors.

"I'm sorry Ayame-chan. I'm such an idiot. I don't care about your past with Kakashi sensei or any other man," Iruka said sheepishly while holding out the flowers.

"Do you mean that? Really? Not any of them?" Ayame asked as she came around the counter.

"Huh? How many…no forget it. Nothing matters except the two of us," Iruka insisted as she came closer. She's so cute in her uniform…and out of it…

"We'll never mention Kakashi ever again!" Ayame said happily as she threw her arms around Iruka's neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

But when she released Iruka, all he could say was "Well…did you really mean it when you said I was better than Kakashi? I mean…how was I better…exactly…"

Ayame's brow furrowed and the veins in her forehead pulsed as she grabbed the flowers from Iruka and hit him over the head with them, hard. The thorns scratched his face. "Take these flowers and give them to Kakashi! Apparently you think a lot more about him than you do about me!" Ayame yelled. More passers-by paused to watch the scene.

Oh, crap, gossip in this village runs rampant! Now everyone will think I have a thing for Kakashi! groaned Iruka to himself. "I'm sorry, I swear I will never mention Kakashi again." Iruka smiled at Ayame, hoping to placate her. This time he grabbed her by the waist and gave her a long passionate kiss. I will do everything I can so that she'll never think about Kakashi again!

The crowd that had gradually accumulated started to clap and by the next day, it was known throughout Konoha that Iruka sensei and Ayame the ramen girl were back together ...and it was taboo to mention Kakashi's name in front of them.

Thus ends the second episode in the life of the ramen girl.

-…-…-END-…-…-

Author's Note: Was inspired to write this sequel after seeing the recent filler eps with MizukixIrukaxTsubaki implications.